Most of the people I hang out with the most aren't even considered as friends.
Like honestly, most of my "closest friends" I don't even think of them as friends, I really don't even know where the line crosses between an acquaintance and a friend...
The definition of a friend is "sharing a bond of mutual affection, characterized by trust, support, loyalty, honesty, and understanding, offering a safe space for vulnerability and presence during both good times and bad, and accepting someone as they are while helping them grow. It's more than just shared interests; it's about showing up, listening, and being a reliable presence through life's challenges and joys, fostering deep connection beyond casual acquaintance"
Like.... I can't TRUST people.
And it's a one sided friendship with almost everyone who calls me a friend....
Like, people trust me, and I support them and am loyal to them and honest and understanding. And I show up and listen.
So I am a lot of people's friend.
But like, VERY VERY VERY few people show up and listen to me. If I tell someone a secret, they tell someone else, so they aren't loyal or trustworthy, people always judge me and lie to me, so they aren't honest or understanding or supportive.
People only ask if I'm okay when it bothers them. If we're hanging out and I seem engaged and look happy, there's not a moment of "Yeah, so, how've you been?!", not unless I seem like I'm not paying attention.