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The next obstacle looked a little harder than the previous one and again really didn't look all that difficult on TV. The spinning balance beam. Simple right? Just run across and don't fall. WRONG, yes I had to go fast but I also had to pay attention to where my feet landed, if they were farther away from the center of the beam that meant the beam would spin faster. And with my feet closer to the edge already it would take even less time to fall off. In my rush the third step I took almost took me out, but I was able to take the next step before I fell. I made sure to go slower after that. It's kind of like riding a bike without training wheels for the first time, too slow and your speed won't help you balance, move too fast and you lose some control. But once again I made it across without falling, and besides that one hiccup it was easier than the last one. I didn't even have to catch my breath this time, with having to pay attention to my steps I couldn't go quicker than a speed walk. It was a good thing I wasn't too tired, the next part was going to be a tough one.
Ever wonder why climbing anything is so much harder as an adult than you remember it being when you were a kid? That's cause it is, you are bigger now and that literally means you have to lift more weight, aka your adult body. Also kids have soooo much more energy than adults, just ask anyone who spends time with kids. You'll find yourself exhausted just watching them run around all day. Ever see a dead on their feet parent being dragged by a child a quarter their size? That's why. But enough procrastinating, my next trial was a set of hanging rings. Unlike in the NInja Warrior show these rings are much closer together so it's more like a set of monkey bars than pretending to be Tarzan. Good thing too, if I had to pull a Tarzan to get through this part I would just stop now and save myself the embarrassment. I'm a big dude and while I'm not a couch potato I'm not Captain America either, so throwing 200+ pounds through the air is just not gonna happen.
Even with my height I had to go on the tips of my toes to reach the first ring, so at least I didn't need to pay attention to my dangling feet touching the water. I swung myself to the second ring and started my journey across, the burn was real and it came quick. I didn't look to see how far I had left to go, I just put one foot in front of the other, or hand in this case. I'm not really sure how long it took me but I finally reached the other side. When my feet landed on the platform I almost lost my balance and fell backwards, ruining all my hard work. Luckily I was still holding one ring and was able to regain my balance before I could finally let go of that last ring. As soon as I finally let go I started to stretch my shoulders and flex my fingers. While I was completing the last test I knew that I couldn't stop, any stops would actually make it worse because I would just be dead weight hanging from those rings, but man did my shoulders ache. I kept swinging my arms, trying to loosen up the muscles while I caught my breath and looked at the next obstacle.
The rock wall in front of me seemed to mock my very existence, my arms are going to kill me and leave my body in the pool below. After a couple of minutes complaining about the unfairness of my system; I mean come on, why couldn't I have some nice stats and gamers body, I got ready to climb. The wall itself wasn't tall and it wasn't even completely vertical, but the handholds were tiny. They weren't the size of my hand like a regular rock wall at a climbing gym, those I would have no problem holding on to, each one was the size of a matchbook and needed a lot of finger strength to hold on to. Good thing I only needed to climb like two meters, any more and I think my fingers would just fall off in protest for cruel and unusual punishment. But I was going to climb it anyway, I had already gotten 1 and a half new lines from this one fork so I was going to complete as many as I could. I didn't actually know what they were used for yet but I was confident I would find out eventually.
By the time I dragged myself over the ledge I was right, my fingers did feel like they would fall off, but they hadn't yet so I was pushed to my limit and not beyond. Another half tally formed and I flexed my fingers, trying to get them to stop shaking and hopefully stop them from cramping. Meanwhile I looked ahead to the next obstacle and I had to smile, to most people it may be difficult but not to me. In front of me was a path made of thin poles, each was the width of my instep, so I would have to walk on the tips of my toes across them. But I have always had great balance, well not always but I did martial arts as a kid and my teacher was big on balance so I practiced a lot. When I stopped going my sense of balance decreased but it didn't just go away, so I was still better than most people. I still waited to start until my hands stopped trembling, I wouldn't want to make another mistake like the tilted platforms. So only after I was ready did I take my first step. I'm glad I was so careful as the poles weren't the most stable and swayed with each shift of my weight.
That made it much harder, the difference between balancing on one foot when you're on solid ground and not is a huge thing. If you ever want to try it, they have these things that are like a partial yoga ball attached to a flat platform. Just standing on one of those is hard, never mind standing on one foot on the tips of your toes. Let's just say I swayed a lot, I had my arms out straight to help with my balance as I stepped forward to the next pole as quickly as I could. Once I had both feet on a pole it was much easier, not easy by any means but having two points of contact instead of one was better. But the poles were far enough apart that it also stretched some very uncomfortable places. I guess this was a test of balance and flexibility. Of course it didn't help that my great balance didn't translate to great flexibility. After I got past the first few poles it no longer felt like I was going to tear something, and not necessarily my pants. But now it was like the slight burn you get after doing an intense workout, and it wasn't nearly as bad as the rock wall. Luckily I got to rest my hands but I think I might need to take a break to rest my whole body after this one.
I still made it past the poles in record time and as soon as I had both feet on solid ground I started to stretch my legs. Now it wasn't my fingers that were going to fall off but my legs and when I looked at the next obstacle my head fell down until my chin touched my chest. A rope ladder, I hated these. I could never climb them very well and it looked like this one had multiple inclinations, up one hill down the next and then up a wall. God I was going to be tired after this, it felt like this course was testing every single muscle group. The rope ladder relied on your core, yes your arms and legs too, but it was your core that kept you balanced. Hopefully my new workout routine would give me better results now that I don't have ab instead of abs. I mean I didn't have a six pack now but I had a little definition, in my old world for most of my life all I amounted to was a one pack at most. I had a single summer in highschool where I was in the best shape of my life and had a flat stomach, but I never even reached a two pack back then.
I was proud of my slight four pack now and it looks like this obstacle was going to put it to the test. So after I felt rested enough I grabbed the rope in front of me and hauled myself up, I was right once again. Having a stronger core made this much easier, so much so that my muscles only started to burn after I reached the rope wall. But I didn't let that stop me and pulled myself up the last couple of feet and past the finish line. Of that obstacle at least. I still had more challenges ahead of me, but as I layed on the ground and looked at the wall in front of me I had to laugh. This was clearly the punch wall from Wipeout, I could totally see the boxing gloves hidden inside their holes. I waited until my stomach stopped burning and my hands were merely throbbing instead of feeling like someone took a piece of sandpaper to them before stumbling to my feet. Then I walked over to the wall and observed the placement of each hole, it was important to figure out where each one would hit me.
It was fine if they hit my stomach or chest because those I can just shrug off, but a punch to the arm or leg may cause me to lose my grip or footing. And a punch to the balls, well that would take me down no questions asked. But it looked like there were only a couple of places I would have to be careful of, otherwise it looked ok. So I stepped on the little ledge that would keep me right up close to the wall and started to shimmy my way across. As soon as I put my weight on the ledge the gloves started to move, and let me tell you they looked a lot less fun now that I was one that was going to be hit by them. It made me hesitate to move forward but I knew that any progress I made would be more tallies and the games never did anything unless there was a reason. So I would try to earn as many as I could, with my determination firmed I started to inch my way forward. It only took a few seconds before I got my first heart attack and a punch knocked my hand from where it was holding onto the wall.
Luckily I was able to stay upright and my other hand still held firm, as soon as the glove retreated back into its hole I latched back onto the handhold and kept moving. The next few punches grazed my side, bounced off my chest and sunk into my stomach, the last one was the worst and almost knocked the wind out of me. I didn't realize how hard these gloves hit. But soon I had to stop because I was coming up on one of the gloves that was level with my crotch. I waited until a glove shot out and retracted before I started moving as quickly as I could to get past it. I had to suffer two more hits to the side and one to the ear while I waited but it was worth it to avoid a shot to my jewels. And I barely avoided the one that came after, it seems like whoever came up with this has a sadistic sense of humor because a second punch came from the same place less than ten seconds after the first. It hit my thigh, but if I was just a bit slower I would have been down for the count. But I made it across without any more close calls, I was still beat up and I was definitely gonna have some bruises in the morning but I still made it.
One of the more popular types of games were fighting games, some were pure martial arts others had weapons. There were a lot of war simulations as well, but what they all had in common, as long as they were fully immersive, was that the injuries sustained in the game felt real. I have been shot, stabbed, punched,.. pinched, and blown up but nothing hurts more than a shot to the nuts. I have even been gutted and while that is definitely a worse experience it still does not compare to the few seconds after being hit in the balls. All the injuries had an upside though, because the pain was real it also helped me endure pain in the real world as well. Without the horribly debilitating injuries and trauma associated with them. It's one of the reasons I don't complain that I don't have gamer's mind, cause I'm not sure I don't. Some of the games I've played are really not kid or even adult friendly and while I wouldn't say I'm not bothered by them they definitely don't affect me as much as they should.
Anyway, the elation of not suffering the worst pain known to men everywhere was doused as soon as I looked at what was waiting for me. It seemed like the course was on a Wipeout kick because in front of me was the most memorable obstacle in the show. The Big Red Balls. I had nothing: no childhood advantage, no clever trick, not even an over inflated sense of confidence. As far as I could tell every person that passed this trail did so through sheer dumb luck, so let's get it over with and test my own. I didn't hesitate, I didn't want to lose my nerve. Usually when the participant fell off this it always looked like it hurt when a mistimed bounce contorted them into a pretzel as they were launched into the water. I tried to keep my steps light and not bounce too much and it seemed to work, I made it past three balls, the end was in sight. Then my ankles failed me and I performed a perfect scorpion on the front of the fourth ball, my feet didn't quite touch the back of my head but I was still out for the count. I hit the water with an almighty splash and came up snorting water out of my nose, "Damn it!"
Currently I have so many ideas for new stories and directions I want my old stories to go, but I don't have enough time to write them all down. Even a buck will help so please help me out with anything you can. That way I can spend some more time bringing a little more joy to both of our lives.
The current advanced chapters are:
Millennium Ch1
Haven Ch1
Who is a Zoo? Ch1
God of Games Ch6
Breathe Ch1
Another Wayne Ch1
Salvation Ch1
Guide Ch1
Growth Ch1
I Wanted a Real Gamer System Ch6-8
Ark Ch2-5
A Real Gamer System Ch3-5
Tinker Ch1
Further Ch2
Puzzle Maker Ch3
A Thousand Words Ch1-2
Free Range Ch1