She remained silent, and we didn't speak again until dawn when we left the wall to perform the ceremony. We arrived at the temple, and I asked her to undress while I lit the candles. We knelt facing each other near the representation of the goddess, and I began the ceremony. — Mother, on this night of the full moon, we ask you to bless Manady's womb and create a child with your own hands within it — I said, and I smeared fresh earth that I had collected from the roots of the trees near the cave onto Manady's bare arms and chest. — Mother Goddess, this woman has been united to you with the earth your hands produce and blessed with the water of life. — Then I gave the queen water to drink, water I had collected from the waterfall, mixed with various herbs, for days — You know the desires of her heart; be with your grace so that her land may bear living fruit and become part of our ancestors — I said, holding the queen's hands. I stained my fingers with ink and drew on her belly according to what the Mother Goddess was showing me in the vision at that moment.
— What does it mean? — Manady asked once I finished drawing.
— It's the Sun God — I said, seeing the spiral.
— Does that mean I'll have a son? — she asked — What does this symbol foretell, Dotea? — she insisted, but I had no answer. I was confused; I had never seen a woman with the symbol of the sun on her belly before. Usually, it's a symbol that reflects the Mother Goddess as an animal or a fruit.
— You must sleep with your husband the very night we return. The Sun God has answered your prayer — I replied with a terrible feeling inside me.
When we returned to the castle through the kitchen entrance, Manady ordered me to request the king's presence in his chambers while she prepared to receive him. I hurried Dana to choose a dress for me because the one I was wearing was dirty. The maidservant Pilón led me to the tower of the king's chambers. When I knocked, a servant answered– What does the lady wish?
— I am the queen's lady. She requests the king's assistance in her chambers — I said. The man asked me to wait a moment, and after a long while, King Fortis emerged.
— Where is the queen? — he asked.
— Please follow me — I said, and I led him to the woman's room.
When the doors closed, I circled the tower and climbed the stairs from the garden that connect to the queen's balcony. Then I saw her; she was kneeling on the bed while the king thrust into her from behind. I looked away from the scene when I heard her moan.
For some reason, I couldn't sleep, and the deep feeling of dread I felt wouldn't leave my chest. That night, I went to my mother to find out the meaning of the spiral on the queen's womb. — The sun god is also the god of death — my mother said — Queen Manady will have her child, but she will die in childbirth — my mother declared. At that moment, I felt my heart sink. There was no way to undo the pact.
The next morning, the queen stayed in bed all day to ensure that none of the king's sperm was wasted. I cursed myself for having forced such a spirit before my ancestors — Will you stay with me? — she asked, taking my hand.
— I will — I said, lying down beside her and embracing her.
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Three months later, the queen learned that she hadn't bled in a long time. Sure enough, a midwife examined her and confirmed she was pregnant. The following days I couldn't sleep. I stayed with the queen every night, and eating was even more difficult because of the knot that formed in my throat every morning when I saw the queen so happy. One day, while helping her dress, I fell asleep standing up — You're weak. What's wrong? — Her voice woke me when I was about to collapse.
— I spoke to my mother after the ceremony. She said the Sun God will claim your life when you give birth — I spat out. Her confusion made me think I might have mumbled — The father isn't known for answering requests about births, because he's the god of Light and Death. You won't survive childbirth.
— I don't believe you — she said with a smile — Tell me it's not true — she said when she saw I wasn't answering.
— I lament this — I said — The Father has asked for your life in exchange for the lives of your children.
— Children? — she said as she sat down in the wardrobe.
— I saw twins in the vision. You will have two children.
She cried for hours until she no longer had the strength to get up, and then she didn't speak to me all night. The next morning, she woke me with these words: — I know this isn't fair to you either. The decision of your gods isn't your fault — She said, and we stayed embraced all morning without saying a word.
<><><> Year 1314 <><><>
She made sure to eat extra so her babies would be healthy and went outside to look at the fields, now covered in snow thanks to winter. She asked me to stay by her side the whole time, not to let go of her hand. I felt dirty; I would have the queen's blood on my hands in a few months.
I spoke many times with my mother about a possible solution, and I also tried many times to find an answer in the wisdom of the ancestors, but they didn't answer my questions. They only said, "Remember your vision; Father Sun has decided." Daís helped me by bringing blue mushrooms from the field near the temple of the Earth Goddess until my mother forbade me from using them. — You've already visited the spirit world this week; it's very dangerous if you do it again — my mother said, and she took away the vessel in which I was crushing the mushrooms to make the drink. We no longer prayed every night because of the strong chills and nausea I felt due to my grief.
One of those nights when I had no control over my body, Nayah called Daís to take me from the castle to the waterfall where I was born so that the Mother could purify me. I was trembling, completely out of control, and the water was a cold bath for my soul. When I opened my eyes out of the water, I knew what I had to do — Are you good? — Daís asked, holding me in his arms.
— Yes — I said. Daís' eyes brought me calm at that moment. He stayed with me the rest of the night, and at dawn, he carried me back to the wall.
— I'm worried about you — he said — I wish I could stay with you longer.
— You know where I am all the time.
— I shouldn't have joined the royal guard. That woman took you away from me — he said — Dotea, if there's even the slightest chance that you feel the same way I do, or that you love me, I'll come with you and be the father of your children.
— I'll never have children — I whispered to myself, but I knew he'd heard me when he turned his face away.
After Daís left me in my room, Dana helped me bathe and dress, since I still felt too weak to protest her excessive help. My mother was in my room, blessing my body with branches so that evil spirits wouldn't torment my soul, but little did she know that wasn't what was tormenting me.
That same day, Manady asked me to make a promise —You'll take care of my children — she said. I thought I imagined her voice. I was looking out from the balcony and she turned her face toward me — Will you take care of my children? — she asked.
— You'll take care of them yourself —I said.
— I already accepted it, Dotea — she said caressing my arm —You don't have to use sweet words with me to make me feel better.
— I think I've found a solution — I said, swallowing my tears —You have to know that I love you.
— Me too.
— No, Manady. I truly love you and I love your children before they're even born because I've already seen them — I said, touching her belly. I couldn't hold back my tears.
— Dotea — she said, lifting my face with her hand. She wiped my tears and stroked my cheek, then I kissed her so intensely that the warmth of her neck clung to my hands.