Because evolution's not here to flirt — it's here to mess with your expectations. And probably eat your face.
The exotic vibe doesn't end with just talking, grabbing street food on exoplanets, and gasping at the sight of pulsars. Although, let's pause right there — because wonder and awe are your real fuel. And given the sheer immensity of the Universe, trust me, you'll have plenty to stare at.
Some say it's infinite, some say it's not — even the scientists haven't figured it out yet. But hell, it's so insanely huge — and still expanding — that even your endless life might not be enough to explore every single dot in it. As crazy as that sounds!
"Listen, honey... just cut the crap and answer me: am I supposed to binge-watch a thousand seasons of the same damn show? Are you kidding me?"
Once again, I feel the urge to lean on my sacred mantra — rocking back and forth in lotus pose with a half-crazed grin, repeating the same word over and over:
"Space, space, space..."
Because honestly, what else is there? Space really is the ultimate answer to all weird situations.
An artist could capture any landscape he likes on any planet he chooses. Sometimes, he wouldn't even need to land — just a lazy peek through a spaceship window could reveal breathtaking, otherworldly views.
A musician wouldn't need to kidnap alien tunes or remix their melodies. No, even without that, he'd still crush it — just by opening his ears to the new, wild sounds pouring out of the atmospheres of alien worlds. Sounds that could be nothing like anything Earth ever produced.
The core idea is pretty simple:
A sitcom writer could shoot a brand-new show — or heck, a reboot — about five friends living in a loft on Proxima Centauri.
Or throw a worn-out, unshaven cop — post-divorce, hated by his two kids — straight into the oceans of a water planet, where he'd solve murders between tidal waves.
A documentarian could make a visual masterpiece about colonists; a horror writer could scare the crap out of audiences with predatory, sentient stars with a healthy appetite and way too many teeth. And that's just the beginning — you could keep spinning ideas forever.
There's technically only one source of inspiration — the Universe itself. But it could serve up so many insane plotlines that the pay-per-view crowd might have to bolt extra cybernetic eyes and ears onto themselves just to keep up.
Sports won't die out either — just the opposite. With new environments inspiring new sports, plus humanity spreading across the stars, we'll see the birth of unique (or recycled, or totally weird) new games.
New planets = new arenas and, of course, new heroes. More fields to play on means more chances to find your thing, your dream job, your big break. It's a simple, working formula. You wanna sing here? Sing. You wanna teach yoga there? Knock yourself out.
Easy, right?
Well... not so much.
Because somewhere near my collarbone, I can feel their heavy, piercing stares drilling into me. They're not exactly demanding, but they're pretty damn insistent: Stop stalling and get to the point.
Wiping the sweat off my forehead with a sweet-smelling handkerchief, I brace myself — with massive reluctance — for a conversation that feels dangerous even for a born-and-bred shaman.