Void's Rest was quiet for exactly three minutes after opening.
Then the flood began.
Xu Tian stood behind the counter in his usual black robes, hair slightly messier than yesterday, eyes gleaming with the bright, unfocused energy of someone who had not slept because sleep was for people who needed it.
He flipped the menu board with one finger.
The prices had changed overnight.
Basic Enlightenment Tea: 30,000 spirit stones (up from 15,000)
Sword Intent Brew: 100,000 spirit stones
Love Fortune Blend: 200,000 spirit stones
Instant Breakthrough Roast: 500,000 spirit stones New addition at the bottom, written in bold red ink:
"Today's Special: Void Madness Tea – 1,000,000 spirit stones. Effects unknown. No refunds. Drink at your own risk."
The first customer, the same fat merchant who had been coming daily, stared at the board."Master Void… the prices…"Xu Tian smiled. It was not a kind smile.
It was the smile of someone who had just realized rules were optional.
"Inflation," he said cheerfully. "Existence is expensive."
The merchant hesitated, then paid for two Basic cups anyway.
He drank.
Nothing happened.
He waited.
Still nothing.
Panic crept into his eyes.
Xu Tian leaned over the counter.
"Placebo day," he whispered loudly enough for the entire shop to hear. "I forgot to add the Qi this morning. Oops.
"The merchant's face turned purple.
The crowd outside murmured.
Xu Tian burst out laughing.
A full, rolling, unhinged laugh that made the teacups rattle on their saucers.
"Kidding!" he gasped, wiping a fake tear. "You broke through two minor realms. Feel it yet?"
The merchant blinked.
Qi surged.
Peak Foundation Establishment.
He bowed frantically and paid triple.
The laughter spread.
Customers relaxed.
Xu Tian's eyes glinted.
He loved this.
Old Duan arrived first of the regulars, wine gourd swinging.
"Kid, you look like you swallowed a storm today."
Xu Tian poured him a cup.
"Storm? No. I'm just awake.
"Poison Fairy Ling glided in next, cauldron orbiting her shoulder."
I heard you raised prices again.
"Xu Tian served her without asking."
Supply and demand. Demand is high. Supply is me.
"Master Zhen stomped in last, beard bristling."
You're going to cause a riot one day.
"Xu Tian grinned."
Promise?
"The three sat at their usual spots.Old Duan sipped."
Good as ever.
"Poison Fairy tasted hers."
Today's batch has… chaos in it. Interesting.
"Master Zhen grunted approval.
They drank in comfortable silence for a while.
Then a new customer entered.
Young, golden robes, ten bodyguards, the unmistakable arrogance of a top sect core disciple.
He slammed a storage ring on the counter.
"One of everything. And make it fast."
Xu Tian looked at the ring.
Then at the young man.
Then back at the ring.
He picked it up.
Emptied it.
Every spirit stone, pill, artifact poured out and vanished into his own ring.
The young master smirked.
"Good. Now serve."
Xu Tian smiled wider.
"Paid in full."
He poured one cup.
Plain hot water.
No Qi.
Nothing.
The young master drank.
Waited.
Frowned.
"Nothing's happening."
Xu Tian leaned close.
"That's the Void Madness Tea. One million stones. Effect: realization that you're not as important as you think."
The young master's face turned red.
"You scammed me!"
Bodyguards stepped forward.
Xu Tian raised one finger.
The ten bodyguards froze mid-step.
Literally frozen.
Ice statues.
Smiling.
The young master tried to move.
Couldn't.
Xu Tian walked around the counter.
He patted the young master's cheek.
"House rule: don't slam things on my counter."
He snapped his fingers.
The bodyguards thawed.
They dropped to their knees.
The young master paid another million to leave.
With his tail between his legs.
The regulars watched the whole thing.
Old Duan whistled.
"You're in a mood today."
Xu Tian returned to the counter.
"Variety is the spice of immortality."
He flipped the sign again.
New message:
"Today only: buy one cup, get a free life lesson."
The line outside cheered.
A shy female cultivator came in next.
Ordered Basic.
Drank.
Broke through.
Started crying happy tears.
Xu Tian handed her a napkin.
"Lesson: crying is allowed. Just not on the floor. I just cleaned."
She bowed and left smiling.
An old rogue cultivator ordered the Madness Tea.
Drank.
Sat perfectly still for ten minutes.
Then stood, bowed deeply, and left without a word.
No one knew what he saw.
The regulars watched.
Poison Fairy murmured.
"That one… actually touched the void."
Xu Tian shrugged.
"Or heartburn."
Master Zhen shook his head.
"You're dangerous when you're playful."
Xu Tian poured them all another round.
Free.
"Only when I'm bored."
Old Duan raised his cup.
"To not being bored."
They drank
.Evening came.
The shop emptied slowly.
The three regulars lingered longest.
Old Duan stood to leave.
"Tomorrow?"
Xu Tian cleaned a cup.
"Maybe."
Poison Fairy smiled.
"You'll open. You always do."
Master Zhen tossed an extra pouch of stones.
"For the entertainment."
They left.Xu Tian locked the door.
Stood alone in the quiet shop.
He looked at the menu board.
Then at his reflection in a teapot.
The reflection smiled back.
A little too wide.
He spoke to the empty room.
"Still fun."
Then laughed softly.
The laugh echoed longer than it should have.
Outside, the city lights flickered.
Inside, one candle burned.
And Xu Tian brewed a single cup.
Just for himself.
No Qi.
No scam.
Just tea.
He sipped.
"Not bad."
He looked at the stars through the window.
"Tomorrow will be interesting too."
His eyes glinted.