The time was 4:30pm, steady showers from heaven slowly pouring. I stood at a distance, an umbrella in hand, a quiet observer at the edge of the graveyard. I watched as they lowered her to the ground, away from the sight of the mourners. Not one of them knew me, for even her, I knew but for one brief day. A day so short but would in my memory last forever.
A few moments after the ceremony, I joined Emmanuel in the car. "You shouldn't have come; how would you have explained yourself if you got caught?". He asked. A fake smile alone could I muster. He was right, and I knew he was. I just had to be here, as funny as it would sound, in those hours we spent together, I loved her.
.........................................
I was at the Coachella, the parties had only recently started popping back up, this due to all the covid drama. A number of people wore masks still, myself included. That though, didn't alter the thoughts in my mind. Nights were to be had.
The first day offered very little, stag I came having taken a leave of absence over "family related issues". One can say this single life I've been living has become the family's major concern. That didn't matter anyway, neither family nor co-workers were anywhere around, so as I said earlier, nights were to be had.
I strolled to my bed n' breakfast at about 2:am, slightly tipsy and just a tad bit high. I had developed a habit of stopping my drinking, smoking and pills consumption at just the right moment, when my confidence is high, my spirits are lifted and my walking still perfect. I call that the sweet spot. In my room I turned on my laptop, was I to trade? Open up Binance and make back the money I spent on the first day, or was I to play a few games? Decisions, decisions…
Safe to say that as time passed I ended up doing neither, no sooner had I turned on than my whole body slammed on the bed and I fell into a deep slumber. I came out at noon-ish on the same day, rejuvenated and ready for another day, "maybe today would be better", I thought to myself as I stood in line to get a cup of ice-cream.
I got my cup and was headed towards the outdoor theatre, to see Gingee perform when she hit me. A pretty blond lady with beautiful green eyes that make nature look amateur, she walked into me, not in a rush but because she was a bit lost in the works of her mind. Not a word of her apology did I hear. My eyes wondered, watching every trace of her, her shining blond hair which had dark tips that would make one think she wasn't a natural blond, her green eyes and the patterns within them, the way her lips moved, majestic and marvellously, as though the words were already at her tongue-tip.
It took a number of finger snaps from her to bring me back to reality, "I asked a question you know?" she stated.
I heard her voice and somehow, it found a way to be better than the beauty that she was, it was like my brain formatted as I tried to reach for the words, so I simply blurted out, "I was so lost in your beauty I genuinely didn't hear a single word you uttered".
She smiled, brief and quick, then she spoke. "First of all," she started, "who in the world uses uttered in 2022? What are you, some kind of grammar professor?"
I wanted to respond, but she went on. "Don't answer that, cause second of all, that was clearly a pick-up line".
Blowing raspberries, I asked, "do you always talk this much?" laughing as I asked as it was meant to be a joke, but regretting as soon as it came out of my mouth.
She looked at me for a second, then she laughed, "I'm only going to let that slide because you're cute," she said. I wanted to go for a little more banter, maybe I could stand a chance if I made her laugh, but before I could say another word, she pointed at my shirt saying, "are you gonna wipe that off or are you waited for the birds to lick them clean". Only then did I look down on my shirt to see the ice cream stain on it. I laughed because I really stood with her not noticing that stain for that long. I started to wipe it, she moved closer, a handkerchief in hand, to help me, I caught a whiff of her.
"You smell exquisite" I mumbled. She smiled and slightly lowered her head, then she moved backwards a bit. She addressed my shirt, on which the words Que sera sera were written. She makes a joke asking what would happen if Que didn't sera; to be honest, I didn't find it funny, but anything to have her around longer. I forced a smirk.
She drew back, making to leave. Instinct kicked in and I grab her by her arm, pulling her close. "It would be foolish of me to let this meet-cute end now," I said.
I asked for her name, she gave, I didn't offer my name because over the years, I developed a habit of withholding information until when asked. I didn't tell because she didn't ask. Her name though, so beautiful and one I'd never heard once before, Lalanya. According to her it was a name her mother picked up and loved in one of her visits to Africa.
"No wonder I had never heard it before," I thought to myself.
"Did you come with friends or are you alone?" I asked, pausing for a bit.
"You seem pleasant and I would to extend this, however long I possibly can," I added, gesturing. "That's cute," she said in response before stating that she did in fact come alone.
That was good to hear, in my head, I wouldn't have to worry about her turning down any possible dates I propose while at the Coachella due to schedules with her girlies, if she would turn me down, it would be because she didn't want to stick around.
A bit lost in my thoughts was I, so much so that I didn't realize when the question, "Would you like to go out with me then? Right now, if you have nothing doing" slipped out my face hole. She was taken aback, but not in a negative way, rather in a "Oouu… an intentional man, me likey" kind of way. Maybe it wasn't that, but I'd like to think it was, due to egotistic reasons.
That "I would've loved to but…" hit me like a truck.
I quickly moved for some persuasions, not so much that I'd seem needy but enough to make her have a rethink.
"Come on, don't do this," I said.
"I do have something I want to do though," she said.
"I could give you my number so that you can reach me," she added.
"What if it's your company I wanted, not your number?" I asked.
She kissed her teeth, "what about my clothes, what if I need a change of clothes?" she asked.
I let out a "Pweety pweese". Very corny looking back but it worked so, can't complain.
"Eww… no, never do that again," she started, howling.
"You know what? I'll tag along, but first, we have to go see Jamie xx" she said, after laughing for what felt like two whole minutes.
"Wait a darn minute, you were headed to see Jamie xx? Me too" I said, grinning slightly that I'd found one thing we had in common.
"Also, there's nothing wrong with your clothes," I started'
"You're rocking that outfit like you're doing it a favour. I'm pretty sure being worn by you right now makes them feel fulfilled." I added.
She grabbed me by the hand as from afar you already could hear Jamie xx performing. We headed for the Outdoor Theatre, Lalanya running ahead of me, thus marked start of the moments of my life, moments which may be locked away in eternal recollection. When we got to the crowd, we watched her perform, we'll truth be told she watched, while I watched her. Her luscious golden hair swaying as she bopped, like liquid sunlight they fell, spilling down to her tempting waistline. In the shifting crowd her presence shown. I listened for her, as she sang along to the melodies, euphonious and striking, as though the music itself chose her. As we stood in the crowd, a thought crossed my mind. In movies had I seen people who met at a place far off from where they both lived, share a tremendous time together only to drift apart when they left. I hoped in my heart that we didn't end up so. Not only did I hope, but a little prayer too I said.
After the performance she asked, "So where are we headed?"
"Do you like arcades?" I asked in response. She nodded enthusiastically and I booked us an uber to the nearest one. At the arcade I got to see another side of her that I found very hot, how competitive she got. She would be so serious that a vein would appear on her forehead, she bantered, sometimes cheated and when she won any game against me, she would get so happy up to even getting giddy. We played some co-op, I felt they would be good for bonding.
"Yes, okay get ready to switch," she called out
We were about to set the top score at one of the co-op games, her hands were visibly shaking, her jacket now tied around her waist.
"Now switch!" she called. As we switched positions, her focus got more focus-ey, her eyes glued to the screen as the instructions came.
When we were just a few points close to the top score she tripped, I grabbed her and still manage to get a few more moves in before it cut off.
"Thanks for that," she whispered.
We watched together as the scoreboard popped up, both her hands grasping mine in a tight nervy grip as our score started to rise through the leaderboard, passed two of our previous scores, which made us actually think we could beat the top score. Then it happened, the top score slipped down, making way for ours as the words, NEW HIGH SCORE flashed repeated.
She jumped on me in a giant hug, screaming happily about that. She stayed on for a while, then when I gathered myself, "How about a celebratory massage?" I whispered to her ears, before looking eagerly in her beautiful eyes. She nodded sheepishly in agreement, loving the idea.
"I could really, really, really use a massage." She said, softly as she hopped off me and we headed for the exit.
"I know right? There's a spa about a stone's throw away from here." I said in response.
"Then from there we can come back to that cuisine over there for a bite, okay?" I added, pointing at a 2-star cuisine just a few blocks away.
"About a stone's throw, can't recall when last or if ever I've heard something use that phrase" she said as we walked out the arcade.
Our time at the spa was short and pleasing, although I spent half the time on the table holding in a fart. In a short time, we were out and walked our way back to where the restaurant was, talking and laughing all the way through the course. I learnt that she only came as a reward for being done with her master's degree in economics, I asked jokingly about her thoughts on the current situation of the country economically and whether or not she thought there was hope. She did give an answer, one that made me marvel at her brilliance.
I shared a bit about myself, but only when she asked. About how I worked at a friend's company, how only came out here because I had never gone out to a carnival or festival or something of such sorts before, which she found to be very shocking. To her, I looked like the partying type. She told me about home, family, showing pictures when she could, she even chipped in a "maybe you can stop by if you ever find yourself in California" which made me made an itsby-bitsy bit of euphoria build up inside me. In response I told her that since I set eyes on her she became a part of my schedule, and I would love nothing more than to come see her family.
"So, do you have anything else planned Preston Bailey?" She asked sarcastically.
"Why? Is there somewhere you should be at right now?" I asked in response
"You know, you don't answer questions with questions." She said, to which I breathed that heavy breath that's considered laughter.
Then she went on, "Okay, you've been the most fun I've had in a while and I'm not against letting it continue, although I have to be at Billie's performance and I can't wear this there so I have to be at my hotel beforehand".
"Yes ma." I simply responded
The rest of our time was spent in the street, I had set a course for her hotel from where we were, about an hour on foot but I didn't plan on walking all the way there. The night sky, like a vast curtain embroidered with silver pins, looked, and we let the city lead us through as we walked, hand in hand. We walked slower than the hour demanded, stopping whenever laughter pulled us into short pauses, in those pauses when I looked her in the eyes, I felt her eyes cast a spell on me, beckoning me to lean closer and kiss her gently, softly and passionately, but I held back cause I wanted to take caution, one wrong action and I could ruin what beautiful time we spent together. At other times we stopped to marvel at the moon, swollen with light, its pale glow spilling across the street like a blessing. Yet even that ancient radiance felt dim compared to her, her hair catching sparks from the streetlamps dazzling in the night lamps like fireflies, her smile flickering brighter than neon. I had known her for only an afternoon, yet as she leaned closer to whisper something reckless, something small, I felt the unsettling sweetness of gravity at work, an unmistakable sense that I was already tumbling rolling down the streets, head over heels, and the fall, for once, did not frighten me.
"Oh shit," I said to myself as I noticed the time. It was good that she too hadn't noticed cause she probably would have been thrown into a frenzy, a rush to get back quickly and change. I quietly booked us a ride back to her hotel, a ride which came in a matter of seconds. The ride back was nice, mostly quiet asides when she talked about being a fan of Billie's, I honestly didn't understand why Billie Eyelash had as many fans as she did. Maybe I'm just a hater but that's something I can live with. She didn't like it when I called her that, responding by saying, "Muhfuckers say Billie Eyelash and think they struck comedy gold" whilst rolling her eyes. Which low-key made me burst into a teary laughter.
We stood for a few seconds at the gate to the hotel before she urged me to come with her to her room. After getting her keys from the reception, she led me to her room, 207, I think. I wasn't really paying attention to the numbers, nor the walls, I didn't even notice the people walking by, greeting us.
"Wine?" She asked, offering me a glass as I got seated. She picked out her toothbrush and dental floss and headed to the bathroom. I sat there, head turning around looking at random things, my eyes fell on what was probably some of the biggest books I had seen in my life, "Macroeconomic Theory: A dynamic general equilibrium approach" by Roger Farmer, alongside others which I didn't bother reading their names. As she was done brushing, she came out once again, now to decide with clothes she was gonna wear to the concert. We talked for a while, as she kept changing her mind after holding each cloth in front of her and posing for the mirror.
"How many clothes did you even come here with?" I asked, after she had already returned 3 outfits, which I thought were the bomb.
"I always come prepared," she said, pointing at a box of clothes by the hotel wardrobe.
I sighed, I came here with just a backpack, which fit my clothes, watches, two shoes and my laptop computer, all other things I needed I bought when I got here.
"You know there's something I read about our quality of decisions being reduced, the more decisions we make?" I asked.
"I've heard of that in passing," she said in response.
"Although, I don't believe that's true, now that you mentioned it, I think I'd have to look at it." She added, holding a gown in front of her as she continued to check herself out in the mirror.
I sat there for a few more minutes watching her. She was humming the rhythm of the song The Greatest by Sia. I liked that song, I didn't want to sing out loud cause I was very good and I thought it'd come off a bit showoff-y if I did.
"Okay, I leave you to change, I don't think you have up to an hour and a half left before the concert." I said as I made my way out of her room. As I left, it kept ringing in my head to at least give her a kiss, "what's the worst that could happen?" said one of my inner thoughts, to the other.
"You know what? Fuck it" I said, as I turned around, right as I was about to open the door. She had already taken her top and jacket off when I walked back in, standing there, admiring herself in front of the mirror, in her pink bra and maxi skirt, seeing me walk back in through the mirror, she turned, fully smiling. The room felt smaller suddenly, like it was just enough to fit us both but nothing more, the air thickened. My hands found her waist almost without thought as I got to her. "This is going to reduce the quality of decisions I make in the future, but fuck it, you're 100% worth every dumb idea," I said, as I leaned in towards her. She chuckled for a bit, then faded into silence as my lips brushed against hers, in a soft, tender but prolonged kiss, hesitant at first but then assured, as if writing in a language only us both understood, with each kiss our breathing slowly became one, melodically, until I could no longer tell where my breath ended and whence hers begun.
As our bodies fell to the sheets of soft cushioned bed, I let my hand wonder about her, getting lost in her thighs and bosoms, I felt the warmth of her skin as she quivered at my fingertips, from the mirror beside the bed I saw us, flickers of movements, of shadows fusing into one. In that moment, her voice in my head, like the songs of a sweet nightingale sung, our breaths heating up and warming the room, I felt her, I felt me. I felt us. Is this what love felt like?
I awoke an hour or more later, looking at my watch it was past midnight, I didn't like Billie, so her performance I cared not about, but I had missed her. Lalanya. I didn't get her number, I thought to myself. Rubbing my eyes I searched for my clothes; in the pile of stuff she had on her bed. Putting them on I scurried on out to the hotel lobby, dropping her keys at the reception. When out the hotel, I felt a piece of paper in my shirt pocket, so I pulled it out, it was a paper folded in two and you could vaguely see the words written in it, it read thus:
"I know you didn't listen to Eilish, so I didn't bother waking you up for her performance. I had a really great time with you today I must say.
I see you meant it when you said you preferred my company than getting my number, well I'm giving you my number, nonetheless. Call me.
I hope it's not too early to say I'm going to miss you because I am"
Underneath was her number, a lip stick mark next to it. I wondered how much she must have cringed after writing that. I laughed; I unlocked my phone and saved her number. "The writers of our story are cooking," I said in soliloquy, smiling as I headed back to my bed and breakfast.
When I got back home, I texted her, "How was the concert, hope Eyelash didn't cry on stage." I wanted to open with a bit of fun poking, but I thought it rubbish what I sent. Before I could delete it, she responded, first with a side-eye emoji and then a, "took you long enough." We texted back and forth a bit then I called her.
After the call, I went back to work. She told that she would be travelling back to California the next day so I decided I might call her again then, maybe facetime even. Then again, I thought, "Let's take it easy and not rush this, before I ruin it." She stayed about 3 states away, but I wasn't going to let the distance be a barrier.
"How you doing, lover boy? Lost in thoughts about thy fair maiden?" We're the words that flew out of Emmanuel's mouth as they brought me back to reality.
"Shut up!" I snapped, not really in anger as I laughed immediately after.
Emmanuel and I talked for a while, about work and about other things before we both went back to work.
I texted her again at night, she was gathering her stuff and packing ahead of her flight the next day. We talked at length though, she sent me pictures she took from the last day of Coachella, I was already home by then, as I only came to see Giveon and spend the next day playing FM22. She also sent photos of her flight to which I joked, saying, "You know with this information I can call and cancel your trip."
Our conversation went on, on facetime, I told her to show me what she looked like on some of those clothes she was checking out, and after a few minutes of runway modelling, she decided we should talk later as she wasn't getting anywhere with her packing because of me.
"News coming to us now is that a Diamond DA-40, flying to California has crashed in Utah just recently, leaving 7 people dead and a further 21 injured…"
I heard from the TV in the open office next to my office. The plane name sounded familiar, like I had heard or seen it somewhere. I reached in the back of my mind for a memory, recollection of where I first saw or heard that name.
"More news on the crash, the number of deaths have now reached 13 and injured now at 23. Our representatives are now at the scene of the crash…"
I came out, watching on the screen as people were pulling from underneath the plane, survivors of the crash. The news broadcasters were interviewing people, asking about the happenings and what they heard or saw before the crash. At a distance, I saw her, my Lalanya, lying on the ground. The first responders were covering the bodies of the deceased. The camera got closer, revealing all my fears in a single frame. As I watched the first responders cover her face with a white clothing. She's gone…