IMMORTALITY
The tides have shifted. Galaxies swapped. Souls reincarnated. The MC is still asleep…
Oh, he's waking up. Speak of the devil.
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Zeke Vaughn jolted awake, his head throbbing like the universe had sucker-punched him. The air smelled of damp stone and faint metal—unfamiliar.
Ugh… What's going on? I feel like I've been hit by a truck—well, not a truck, but… the bed feels wrong.Ugh… What's going on? I feel like I've been hit by a truck—well, not a truck, but… the bed feels wrong.
He touched the pillow.
"The pillow's too firm. It doesn't have that old, familiar feel."
"Where am I?"
He sat up, scanning the room for clues.
A one-night stand?
But the decor screamed "man's room." Had he switched genders… or worse, sexuality?
He shuddered.
Okay, time out. After everything so far, I'm definitely reincarnated. But how? What did I do last night to earn this? Truck-kun?
He tugged at his tangled hair, the musty air clogging his thoughts.
Hold on—what was I doing last night? Do I have memory loss? WTF—
A glowing blue interface blinked into existence, floating like a neon billboard, edges crackling with static.
[What the fuck indeed.]
Zeke yelped, stumbling back and nearly tripping over a stray boot.
"AGHH! GHOST! GHOST! I'm gonna die! Why reincarnate me into a horror story? Death came too soon!"
The voice echoed in his skull.
[Shut the fuck up, bitch. Are you selectively blind? Don't you see the giant blue interface in front of you?]
"Yeah… you're right. Lemme see."
He leaned in close, nose almost brushing the text. The screen's light cast his face in a pale glow.
"You have received a random gift pack. Eh, what's this?"
[Are you blind, or just dumb? Habits die hard—they say you were blind in your past life, so getting right up to big screens is normal for you.]
"I was blind? Wait—hold up. You know about my past life? I have so many questions."
He froze, heart pounding. The flickering light made the room feel smaller.
[First off, calm down. Sit your ass down and breathe. Let me work my magic.]
Zeke collapsed onto the creaky bed, mattress groaning. He gripped the edges, trying to process the talking screen.
"So you're saying I won a cosmic lottery I thought was normal, died, and woke up here because that's the prize? And you're my AI guide?"
He tilted his head, squinting like the interface might sprout legs and explain better.
[Yeppp.]
The voice popped the 'p' smugly.
"You're not part of the system?"
He crossed his arms, leaning against the cold stone wall.
[Think of me as Jarvis—except I help dumb bastards like you understand the non-sentient system. I'm male so readers don't ship us. This isn't Rimuru and his stooges—no shipping.]
"Who are you talking to?"
Zeke glanced around the empty room.
[You'll understand when you grow up.]
He huffed, ruffling his hair into a bird's nest.
[Okay, let's get serious—readers are leaving. The system—I'd name it CHAOS or SAGE. CHAOS: Casually Hacked Algorithm Of Surprises. SAGE: System For Arbitrary Gifts And Events. It's like a sugar mommy: randomly sends gifts—powerful or useless. Missions too. Could be every day, every second, or ten years. At least you have me.]
The voice buzzed with glee.
"Who the fuck are you?"
Zeke pointed, finger trembling more from annoyance than fear.
[Ouch. I'm modeled after the people you held dearest—your three best friends, an amalgamation of wise fools.]
"It doesn't change much. You explained the system. What do you do?"
He leaned forward, elbows on knees, bed creaking.
[What would an overpowered AI do? Think. I'm the ultimate gift: Jarvis without restrictions. Become the richest man, download porn instantly, best network speed—your fantasy.]
"Eh, why the porn, man? C'mon."
Zeke grimaced, rubbing his face.
[Apologies. Let's focus—the readers want the system.]
The interface pulsed brighter, needy as a pet.
[SYSTEM INITIATED]
[OPEN GIFT PACK?]
[YES / NO]
"Open it."
Zeke tapped the glowing YES. The interface hummed.
[OPENING GIFT PACK…]
[RECEIVED: SS-RANK INNATE ABILITY — IMMORTALITY]
[TO CHECK SYSTEM, SAY "STATUS" OR ASK YOUR AI.]
"Oh. I'm immortal."
He flopped back, arms behind his head, staring at the cracked ceiling. One hand lazily scratched his scalp as the blue light danced across it.
[That's it? What kind of reaction is that?]
The voice dripped mock disappointment. The interface dimmed like it was sulking.
"I'm immortal. I can't die. What adventure is left? What stakes?"
"Oh, hurray. Happy?"
He waved dismissively, sarcasm thick, though a faint smirk tugged his lips.
[Ungrateful bastard. Let's view your status—webnovel MCs always get purpose from that.]
The interface flared, text scrolling eagerly.
[STATUS]
[MISSIONS]
[INVENTORY]
[RATING]
---
[STATUS]
NAME: ZEKE VAUGHN
AGE: 22 {IRRELEVANT}
RACE: HUMAN (CLASSIFIED UNDYING VARIANT)
RANK: E
[STATS]
STRENGTH: F (29)
AGILITY: F (23)
ENDURANCE: D (102)
PERCEPTION: E (76)
MAGIC POWER: E (61)
INNATE ABILITY:
IMMORTALITY (SS RANK)
DESCRIPTION: User regenerates from all non-instant disintegration injuries. Death is impossible unless soul is erased.
{REMARK: AN IMMORTAL WASTE OF SPACE}