Chapter 1. Prologue
At the end of a dim space, there was an exit emitting a brilliant light. Above that exit, the man saw two words shimmering in the air.
[ New Game ]
The more he thought about it, the more absurd it felt. He had only done what he always did—had a beer after work, enjoyed a game, and fallen asleep. So what was this pitch-black space, and what were those letters and that exit supposed to be?
There was no room for choice. There was no other path here. Swallowing hard, the man moved his steps toward the exit.
Beyond the blinding light, a desolate medieval landscape that felt oddly familiar unfolded before him.
That was how the man fell into the world of a game.
In the body of a barbarian warrior from the harsh wasteland beyond the mountain range.
'What the hell is this....'
The man was a player who had enjoyed the game for quite a long time. After looking at his reflection on the surface of the water, he immediately realized the identity of the warrior he had possessed.
'...Kadim?'
Kadim. Son of the wasteland, the fearless great warrior of Atala. One of the Hero's party characters who could be called a main protagonist of the game.
Kadim's body was incomparably sturdier than that of a modern human. Healthily tanned bronze skin, a massive frame closer to a bear than a man, a solid body without an ounce of excess fat, and arms thick enough to seem capable of crushing even steel.
In the outside world, he had been buried under work, unable to even go to the gym, growing nothing but flab. Forgetting reality, the man was swept up in excitement for a brief moment. But that exhilaration soon evaporated.
As the journey went on, the man quickly sank into a swamp of despair.
Among those he met, almost no one was friendly toward a barbarian. Monsters and highwaymen infested the roads, making it impossible to sleep soundly. Every meal tasted like something ladled straight out of a slop bucket. People's sense of hygiene was at a level that would shock even modern homeless people. When he was injured, searing pain burrowed in, and eating apples or herbs never healed his wounds.
What's more, despite his impressive build, Kadim's actual performance was the worst among the five main characters.
Each character was given a different advantage, a 'unique trait'.
Compared to the others, Kadim's unique trait was riddled with flaws. If characters were divided into noble types and lowborn types, Kadim unquestionably belonged to the latter.
"...."
Even so, the man did not give up.
At the very least, it was far better than being possessed by some nameless serf in this damned game world.
Making full use of the knowledge he had, mastering the barbarian warrior's combat techniques with his own body, wandering the continent, and taking in the main characters one by one as companions, he pushed forward with the main story.
The main story of this game was extremely simple. A Hero who receives a revelation to defeat a great demon gathers companions, and together they head to the Demon Realm to slay the great demon.
The progression of the story differed slightly from the game. To shorten time, the man gathered all the other companions first and immediately joined up with the Hero. Still, the core thread—defeating the great demon—remained unchanged.
The road crossing the continent toward the Demon Realm. At last, they had entered the full flow of the main story. Around that time, the man was placed at a crucial crossroads.
Which ending to see.
In the game, karma accumulated according to the Hero's actions, and the ending changed accordingly. Do many good deeds, and the 'True Ending' appears; do many evil deeds, and the 'Bad Ending' appears.
Of course, there was no guarantee that seeing an ending would let him return to the outside world. Still, the man thought this way. If some damned absolute being had thrown him here hoping he would see the end of this game, then the ending with the higher chance of returning to reality was unquestionably the 'True Ending'.
The problem was that the game world, now turned into reality, was not kind enough to be navigated through good deeds alone. How was one supposed to live like a saint in a world where the person you saved from bandits went right back to banditry?
In the end, the man made his decision.
'Only the Hero's actions affect the ending. My actions aren't included in the karma.'
He decided to take on all the dirty work in the Hero's place.
He tore apart and killed those who framed the Hero. He buried an axe in the head of an innkeeper who had poisoned the soup. He chased down the thieves whom the Hero had spared and chopped off all their necks to prevent future trouble. He split open the belly of monsters that had lost all will to resist and crushed every egg that spilled out from inside.
A life like an evil spirit, never seeing a day when blood dried on the edge of his axe. It was not something a modern man who had never even wrung a chicken's neck could endure with a sane mind.
'This wasn't done by me. It was done by Kadim, the cold and brutal barbarian warrior.'
The man built a shallow defense mechanism. Repeating to himself that everything was done not by him but by 'Kadim', he endured a reality stained with blood.
But even that had its limits. His way of thinking could never be free from the 'Kadim' he himself had created. Facing the version of himself who thought first of killing whenever he met a person or a monster, he felt an indescribable sense of alienation.
To make matters worse, once he reached the Demon Realm and began using Kadim's unique trait, the problem became even more severe.
Kadim's unique trait, 'Blood Berserker'.
A trait that granted a special buff for a certain period by drinking demon blood, at the cost of gradually losing one's sanity. In the game, it was simply expressed as being afflicted with a debuff, but in reality, he had to endure the madness that dug directly into his mind.
He slit a demon's artery with a dagger and drank the blood like an IV drip. Before the buff ended, he fought another demon and buried an axe in its head. When the demon breathed its last, he slit its artery again and drank the blood like an IV drip.
Side effects began to appear in the man, in Kadim.
The mental boundary between barbarian and modern man gradually blurred, and fits of madness began to surface.
Neither the holy magic of a priest chosen by god, nor the magic of a genius Mage with overwhelming talent, nor the shamanic arts of a priestess versed in the tides could help. To suppress the surging killing intent and the madness that went berserk at all hours, the man had to sleep every day buried in the ground, bound in chains and binding magic.
A journey where both body and mind were being reduced to rags.
Inside Kadim's body, there was no longer an office worker who found small comforts by playing games after work. Only a berserker tormented by madness and guilt remained. Each time his reason flickered back like a faulty light, Kadim fell under the illusion that this horrific pain would last forever.
However, just as the moon wanes after it is full, nothing in the world lasts forever.
At last, a period was placed at the end of that long journey.
Thud – !
The Hero drove the holy sword into the great demon's final heart and roughly twisted it.
– Kha, khahahaha!! You think something like this can kill the likes of me....
Whoom – thump!
Kadim did not miss the opportunity and brought his massive battle axe down on the great demon's neck. When he stomped on the fallen head and crushed it, the great demon could no longer wag its arrogant and cunning tongue.
"Huuk, huuk...."
"Hoo...."
"...."
No one in the party opened their mouth. It simply didn't feel real that this horrific battle was over. For a long while, only ragged breathing echoed across the pale land where poison energy still wafted upward.
What broke the silence was a hoarse voice worn out from endlessly chanting incantations.
"I-is it... over? Is it really all over now?"
A Mage gripping her staff with both hands, trembling violently.
Deep shadows lay under her eyes, and her cheeks were hollowed out. There was no trace left of the fresh, green girl Mage she once was.
"...By Elga's grace, it seems that way."
The priest answered while drawing a holy sign.
The pure white priest's robe that had been spotless before entering the Demon Realm had turned a murky dark reddish-brown. Half of that filthy dye was demon blood, and the other half was the priest's own.
"...Lord Kadim, are you all right? You're not injured anywhere, are you? You didn't lose your reason and go berserk...?"
A shamaness approached, fumbling along the ground.
Having lost both eyes to a demon, she was always more concerned about Kadim's mental state than her own physical loss. Whenever asked why, she answered that it was because they worshiped the same god, but that could hardly have been the only reason.
"...."
Lastly, the Hero.
The Hero did not speak for a long time. He merely stared silently at Kadim, who had severed the demon's neck without hesitation.
Kadim, on the other hand, had no room to pay attention to the Hero.
His mouth was bone-dry. Along with the anxiety of what he would do if he couldn't return to reality even after all this, a thirst for the great demon's blood began to rise within him.
A heavy silence pressed down on his shoulders. A stretch of time where no words were exchanged.
After pitch-black clouds crossed the ash-gray sun, the Hero finally opened his mouth.
"Hey, Kha...."
And then, at that moment.
Crackcrackcrack –
With a sound like tough leather being torn apart, a fissure split open in space.
A strange light filled Kadim's eyes. The taciturn barbarian warrior, who rarely reacted to anything, trembled from head to toe.
There was no time to hesitate. Kadim dashed straight toward the fissure. The party was startled once by the sudden phenomenon, and then startled again by the sight of Kadim throwing away even his cherished axe as he ran.
"H-h-hey!"
"Lord Kadim!"
"W-what's going on? What's happening to Lord Kadim...?"
He couldn't hear his companions' cries. At that moment, only longing for reality and a desperate yearning for return filled Kadim's mind.
However, someone stepped in to block his path. The Hero spread his arms and shouted.
"Stop, Kadim! You don't even know what's inside that thing!"
"...Move aside. I don't have time to explain."
"Do you know something about that fissure? I can't move until you tell me. We just barely defeated the great demon together—there's no way I can put a companion in danger again...."
"If we waste time like this and that fissure disappears, I'll drink the great demon's blood and smash your skull in. If you don't want to die, step aside right now."
A blood-chilling threat that could not be taken as a joke. Thick veins bulged sharply on the barbarian warrior's forehead. A great ripple passed over the Hero's face. It was the first time Kadim had ever shown such clear hostility while in his right mind.
A brief standoff followed. The barbarian warrior stood firm like a molten mountain, while the Hero's gaze fell to the ground like drifting ash. It was a battle of wills whose outcome was already decided.
In the end, the Hero stepped aside with a stiff expression. Feeling a slight twinge of regret, Kadim glanced sideways at him and left a farewell.
"There's no time for formal goodbyes. Your conviction to save people through goodwill is still worth upholding. It'll be harder without me now, but don't lose your initial resolve. And...."
"...."
"...It was an honor not just to watch from beyond the screen, but to fight together in person."
"...What?"
Crackcrackcrack –
The Hero never got an explanation for the cryptic farewell. The fissure closed cleanly the moment Kadim stepped inside.
"...."
"...."
"...."
Though they had accomplished the great feat of defeating the great demon, none of the Hero's party felt any exhilaration.
"Lord Kadim...? Lord Kadim? Lord Kadim!!!"
As the sightless shamaness screamed his name in desperation, everyone could only stare for a long time at the empty space that had swallowed their companion.
*
Once again, the dim space appeared.
This was his second time coming here, but the feelings it evoked were entirely different from the first.
Kadim—the man—moved forward. With each step he took, the barbarian warrior's madness washed away as if cleansed, and the modern man's sense of self began to return.
He resolved that once he returned to reality, he would never again play a medieval fantasy–themed game, even if it killed him. No, not just games—he decided he would avoid movies, novels, and comics too.
He was sick to death of worlds with shattered notions of public order and hygiene, and the harsh, fishy stench of demon blood. As soon as he got back, he would crack open a cold can of beer beaded with condensation, lie down on a fluffy bed free of even a single bedbug, and sleep deeply.
'It does bother me a bit that I couldn't properly say goodbye to my companions....'
The man's feelings toward his companions became strangely complex. They were comrades who had shared life and death, yet in reality they were nothing more than game characters.
The gap between the perceptions he had held until now and the ones he would have to adopt from here on out. A powerful sense of dissonance surged within him.
'...I have to accept reality. They're people I can never meet again.'
The man gave a bitter smile. Still, regret lingered that if he'd known he would never see them again, he should have put more sincerity into his farewell.
At the end of the dim path, a pale exit came into view. Just like last time, it seemed that passing through it would return him to reality. The closer he got, the larger the halo of light around the exit grew. The excitement in the man's heart swelled along with it.
But when he reached the exit, the man did not step inside immediately.
He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide open.
His facial muscles twisted into a complete mess. His heart pounded violently. His breathing grew ragged, his blood rushed upward. His back stiffened painfully, his vision reeled. Nausea surged up from his gut, and his insides churned.
'...This is a dream, right?'
His wish for everything to be an illusion had never been stronger. He simply couldn't accept this situation with a sane mind.
Yet no matter how much he stared, the letters above the exit did not change.
[ New Game +]
The man stared endlessly at the words with hollow eyes.
Moments later, a vulgar curse burst from his mouth like a spray of blood.
"No... fuck...."