Hey there,
I'm Michael Johnson, twenty-two years old, just trying to make it through each day like the rest of you.
At this moment, I'm lying in my bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, desperately trying to drift off to sleep.
So why can't I sleep?
Well, first off, I'm not the least bit tired. Second, it's two in the morning, and tomorrow—or I guess technically today—I have something incredibly important to do.
Today, I'm finally going to confess my feelings to the girl I've been crushing on.
Want to hear the best part?
She happens to be my childhood friend.
Yep, that's me. The guy who's too chicken to admit to his best friend that he's in love with her.
Best friend and love...
As that thought crosses my mind, something else occurs to me.
Hold on, when exactly did this all begin?
When did I realize I had feelings for her?
Let me think back...
Was it five years ago?
No, actually—it was six years. Six whole years.
Yeah, that's when it happened.
Everything started back in tenth grade. She transferred to our school, and from the moment she walked in, my world completely changed.
Her name was Shia.
She had a personality pretty similar to mine—introverted, shy, not much of a talker. But honestly, none of that mattered the first time I saw her.
The moment I laid eyes on her, I fell hard.
It was love at first sight.
She was absolutely beautiful. And look, it's not like I was some hideous troll or anything. I'd say I was decent-looking myself. Handsome, even.
At least, that's what I tell myself every morning in the mirror.
Anyway, back to the story...
The teacher assigned her to the desk right next to mine.
Fate was on my side, right? Wrong.
Because somehow, I still managed to mess it up. Even though she sat literally inches away from me, I didn't say a single word to her for eight whole months.
Eight. Months.
Finally, after hyping myself up for what felt like forever, I worked up the courage to start a conversation with her one day.
And let me tell you, it was painfully awkward. For the first few minutes, I was the only one talking, rambling on about who knows what, while she just sat there staring at me in complete silence.
She didn't say a word. Just looked at me with those quiet eyes, and I wanted to disappear into the floor.
Seriously, when she just kept staring at me without saying anything, I started freaking out inside.
Why?
Because I was convinced she was going to think I was some kind of weirdo.
And the last thing I wanted was for my first—and only—crush to see me as a creep during my very first attempt at talking to her.
When she didn't respond to anything I said, I just... stopped. I looked away, feeling completely humiliated.
The embarrassment was crushing.
It felt like someone had slapped me across the face while I just stood there and took it.
All my hope died right then and there.
But then, out of nowhere, I heard something.
A voice. Sweet and soft.
"Hey... are you okay?"
The moment those words reached my ears, I swear time stood still.
Everything around me blurred, and my heart started pounding so hard I thought it might explode out of my chest.
It was the most surreal feeling I'd ever experienced.
I turned to look at her again.
And this time, I was the one left speechless.
Why?
Because she was close. Really close.
Her beautiful blonde hair framed her face perfectly, and in that moment, she looked like something straight out of a dream. My heart skipped a beat all over again, just like it had eight months ago.
She was stunning.
I got so lost staring at her that I completely forgot she'd even asked me a question.
I didn't care about anything else anymore.
Then she spoke again, leaning in even closer with a worried expression on her face.
"Um... you—are you okay?"
I quickly stammered out, "Y-Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. Totally fine."
I swear I almost fell right off my chair when she leaned in even closer.
Her face was now just inches from mine.
She tilted her head slightly and asked, "You don't look fine, though. Your face... why is it so red?"
Shit.
Of course it was red.
Honestly, anyone in my position would've turned red as a tomato.
I quickly pulled back and blurted out, "N-Nothing's wrong with my face! It's just... really hot today, that's all."
She blinked. "Oh... I guess that makes sense."
And then... silence.
Complete, awkward silence.
It was so quiet I could actually hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.
To make things worse, we were the only two people in the classroom. Everyone else was outside at P.E.
Great. Just great.
I had no idea what to do. How was I supposed to keep the conversation going? How was I supposed to become her friend?
My mind went completely blank, so I just did what she'd done earlier—I stared at her.
We sat there, locked in this weird staring contest for what felt like forever, until finally she broke the silence.
"Wow... so you can talk? I honestly thought you were mute."
Wait, what?
That question caught me so off-guard that I blurted out, "No, hold on! Why would you think that?"
She answered casually, "Because you never talk in class or during lunch breaks..."
Oh.
Well, she wasn't wrong.
I didn't talk much during class or lunch, mainly because I wasn't a big talker and I didn't have any friends. I mean, I used to have one, but he transferred to another school, leaving me completely alone.
I cleared my throat. "Yeah... I guess you're right. But as you can see, I'm talking to you right now, so hopefully you don't think I'm mute anymore..."
She smiled a little. "Yeah, I definitely don't think that now."
I figured that would be the end of it and we'd fall back into awkward silence, but then she surprised me.
"Hey, now that I know you can actually talk... can I ask you something? Do you like manga? I've seen you reading them a lot since I got here."
My eyes lit up. "Yes!"
I said it a bit too enthusiastically, but I didn't care.
I had this weird obsession with manga—I loved it with everything I had. It helped me through some of the worst times in my life.
I wasn't even worried that she might think it was weird or say something mean, because honestly, I was used to it by now.
Ever since I was a kid, people have made fun of me for being obsessed with manga. But I never let it bother me.
So this time would probably be no differ—
But before I could finish that thought, she said something that stopped me cold.
"Seriously? Oh my God, I love manga too!"
What?
The moment I heard her say that, I was totally shocked.
I couldn't believe it.
Before I could even think straight, she leaned closer with excitement in her eyes. "Wait, I saw you reading the latest volume of 'Parallel World Vigilante' yesterday! Where did you get it? I love that series so much! I heard they only printed a limited number of copies. Did you buy it from a manga store? Or did you order it online? Please tell me!"
But I wasn't really paying attention anymore.
I was still trying to process the fact that my crush loved manga too.
Not only that—she loved the exact same series as me.
We had so much in common...
While I was lost in thought, I suddenly felt someone pull on my shirt, which brought me back to reality.
I blinked and quickly said, "Oh, yeah—I actually got it as a gift from my uncle."
The moment I said that, her whole expression changed.
The excitement in her eyes disappeared, replaced by clear disappointment. She said softly, "Oh... okay..."
It was obvious she was upset with my answer.
She was probably hoping I'd tell her about a store or a website where she could buy her own copy.
And I'd just crushed her hope.
Seeing how sad she looked made my heart hurt, so without even thinking, I reached into my bag, pulled out the manga, and handed it to her. "Hey, um... I actually just finished reading it, so... if you want, you can have it."
Her eyes widened.
Before I knew what was happening, she grabbed both of my hands, which totally caught me off guard. Her eyes were shining as she asked, "Really? You're actually going to let me borrow this?"
My face got hot right away. "I... I mean... yeah... sure..."
I quickly looked away toward the window because I couldn't look at her anymore.
She finally let go of my hands and gently took the manga from me, holding it like it was something precious. "Thank you so much! You're a lifesaver!"
Lifesaver? How?
I really wanted to ask what she meant, but I didn't say anything.
Then she paused for a moment before asking, "Um... Michael? Can I call you that?"
I nodded fast. "Yeah, totally."
Wow. That was quick.
She gave me a bright smile and said, "Okay then, Michael. Let's be friends from now on, okay?"
Wait... that's it?
I just became friends with the most popular and prettiest girl in class... because of a manga?
I tried to act calm and said, "Yeah... that sounds great."
And just like that, we became friends. Over time, our bond grew stronger and stronger until we eventually became best friends.
But sadly, because I was too shy and scared, it never turned into anything more than that.
Yeah, it's totally my fault.
I'm the one who messed up.
I should've told her how I felt years ago, but I just... couldn't do it. I was too afraid she'd say no, and I didn't think I could deal with that.
So I waited instead. I kept telling myself I needed more time to make our friendship stronger, to get closer to her, to find the perfect moment.
And now, here we are in the present, and I can say it actually worked.
But...