Ivyđź’Ž
I called in sick that morning. I just couldn't go to work. My hands trembled as I saw the ad on my phone.
Nightmare or not, it was creepy.
Seeing the same ad I'd seen in my nightmare was a bit too much for me. It was making me think about things I didn't want to.
And things I wanted to.
I sank back into my bed and wrapped my sheets around myself. My mind kept replaying the final few minutes of my nightmare. Nathan's eyes were the most visible of everything.
The way he looked at me with such hatred made my fingers tremble. The room felt suffocating, even as the soft streaks of sunlight hit the room. Mittens jumped onto the bed, meowing softly and nudging my hand with her head.
I shivered and tried to remind myself that it was only a dream. A horrible dream that would never become a reality.
And yet, in that dream, I saw him. He was a fragment of my past, someone I thought I'd never encounter again.
I guess I wasn't completely over him.
Nathan came in again with breakfast in hand. I smiled as I saw him. I couldn't believe that I had a dream where he was anything but the lovely person who was serving me breakfast.
"You sweet boy," I mumbled as I sat straight in bed.
He dropped the tray right in front of me with a reassuring smile.
"You didn't have to, babe," I said as he placed a kiss on my forehead.
"I want to," came his reply as he held a fork full of pancakes to my face.
Nathan always loved pancakes.
And so did Alex.
Well, would you look at that?
In that moment, I jolted at a realization. What if it wasn't a nightmare but a vision. A vision from the gods or whatever spirit exists for me, to inform me that Alex is alive, well, and in town.
That there was yet hope for us.
What was the name of that restaurant again?
What was it? What was it?
"Babe?" Nathan's voice jolted me awake.
"Huh?" I replied, half dazed.
"Are you okay?" he asked as he placed his hand to my forehead to check for signs of fever.
"What's the name of the restaurant you booked for this evening?" I asked hurriedly.
Nathan paused and blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Uh… why?"
"Just tell me," I snapped. I didn't understand why I was snapping at him, especially on our anniversary. But if there was any chance, just a little chance that my nightmare was in fact a vision, then I must've been given a second chance.
A second chance to make things right.
"The new steakhouse downtown," he said calmly, even though I knew he was startled by my attitude. "It's called The Steak Diner."
I let out a deep breath that I didn't know I was holding. It was the same place as my dream. I couldn't really remember the name before but hearing him say it refreshed my memory.
I needed to go there.
"Why are you breathing like that?" Nathan asked as he watched me. "Did I do something?"
I pushed the breakfast to one side, got off the bed, and started to dress up.
"Ivy, you're scaring me."
"I need to see Alex," I blurted out, pulling my hair into a ponytail.
"What?"
"I had a vision," I said as I put on a pair of jeans. "He's here."
"Ivy…"
"If he is really here, if he is, then, then…." I paused.
"Then?" he repeated with a worried expression.
… then I wouldn't have to settle for you…
What the hell was I doing? What was I thinking?
I stopped dressing up and joined him on the bed.
"I'm sorry, Nathan," I said, burying my face in my hands. "I'm so sorry. I feel like I'm not myself."
Nathan pulled me close to him. "I'm worried about you."
I buried my face in his chest. "I'm sorry. I thought I saw Alex at the restaurant and I thought…"
He didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry, Nathan," I whimpered.
Nathaniel exhaled slowly and let me go.
"I love you, Ivy."
He stood up from the bed and left the room. I wrapped myself in the sheets and sobbed softly. Of course he was upset. I just had to talk about my first love on the day that marked three years since we've been together.
I heard footsteps, and figured that Nathaniel was coming back.
I loved Nathaniel. He was kind, patient, and everything I prayed for after the mess Alex had left me in all those years ago.
But he also wasn't Alex.
Nathaniel opened the door and I saw his face. His eyes were red, as if he had just cried. I was hurting him, all for a theory that might not even be true.
I couldn't do that, not anymore.
I got to my feet and ran to hug him.
"Oh, babe," I wailed. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry this is happening."
"It's fine," he said with a calm voice. He hadn't hugged me back. "I'm just surprised is all."
"Surprised that what?"
"Well," he said, the emotion in his voice was long gone. "You know…"
I sniffled.
"This is weird," he mumbled.
It was as if he wasn't talking to me, but rather to himself.
"What's weird, babe?" I asked, still wrapping my arms around him.
Then I felt something touch my stomach, but before I could look down, a loud bang exploded in the room.
My arms loosened from around Nathaniel as confusion overtook my mind before anything else.
"Nathan…?" I whispered.
I looked down as something warm spread across my stomach.
Red.
My knees gave out and I collapsed to the floor.
"Well," his unfamiliar icy cold voice rang out. "This is weird."
My ears started ringing again, and the pain finally caught up to me. My breath came out in broken gasps as a sharp pain pierced through my abdomen. I pressed my hand there without thinking, hoping to stop the bleeding.
Nathaniel paced around the room, watching me with a confused expression. He kept mumbling some words to himself.
I didn't understand anything.
Was I still dreaming?
If so, why does it hurt so much?
"That's not right," Nathaniel finally said aloud.
I wanted to ask him but I could feel my strength leaving me.
"This isn't the starting point," he mumbled as he started pacing again. "How does she remember? This isn't the starting point. What do I do? What now?"
My vision blurred, but I could still see his face clearly. He had that same look on his face, that look of hate. He wasn't panicked at all, he wasn't looking at me either, he just kept pacing and mumbling to himself.
I tried to reach for the door, but the pain in my abdomen made it impossible for me to move.
I didn't know how many minutes passed before he finally crouched down in front of me.
My consciousness was already fading. He smiled.
"My poor Ivy. You look like you're suffering."
"Please…" I breathed as my throat burned. "Plea..."
He tilted his head and studied me.
"What did I do differently?" he asked. "Why do you remember?"
I whimpered as another wave of pain tore through my entire body.
He sighed as he raised the gun to my face.
"No matter," he said. "We can always start over."
He pulled the trigger and the sound of the gun was the last thing I heard before I woke up again, screaming.
My hands flew to my stomach first, then to my face. There was no blood or hole or pain. I was okay.
I looked around the room, and realized it was the same room I shared with Nathaniel.
I turned my head to him, and I saw him watching me with a calm expression. My body jolted so violently that I fell off the bed. He sat up and I reached for my straightener on my nightstand as a weapon.
"So," his voice was raspy. "It seems you still remember."