The human infant body is a design flaw.
Adrian had come to this conclusion around Day 7. His head was the size of a watermelon, and his neck muscles had the structural integrity of cooked spaghetti. His limbs were short, chubby sausages that flailed with zero precision. He possessed the hand-eye coordination of a drunk goldfish.
'This is humiliating,' Adrian thought, straining against gravity on the living room rug. 'I used to bench press. I used to do taxes. Now I'm being defeated by a carpet.'
[ MISSION PROGRESS: Learn to Roll Over ]
Attempt: 47
Success Chance: 12%
He grunted, a wet, pathetic sound, and shoved his left shoulder into the ground. He kicked his legs. His center of gravity shifted. For a glorious micro-second, he was vertical.
Then his massive head betrayed him, dragging him back down with a soft thump.
"Aww, look at him trying!" Elena cooed from the couch. She was folding laundry, watching her son engage in what looked like a seizure but was actually high-intensity tactical training. "He's so active, Thomas."
Thomas peered over his newspaper—The Derry News, dated October 14th, 1950. "He looks frustrated. Maybe he's gassy?"
'I'm not gassy, Thomas. I'm weak. There's a difference.'
Adrian took a breath. Iron Will activated automatically, suppressing the urge to cry out of sheer annoyance. He needed those 10 points. The System store had refreshed at midnight, and he had his eye on something specific.
'Okay. Physics. Momentum. Leverage.'
He waited. He gathered his strength. He visualized the movement.
'One. Two. PUSH!'
He threw his entire 9-pound body weight to the right, using his arm as a fulcrum. He kicked hard. His diaper provided just enough friction. The world tilted. The ceiling fan spun. The floor rushed up to meet his face.
He didn't stop. He flopped completely over onto his stomach.
Triumph. Sweet, prone triumph.
[ MISSION COMPLETE ]
Objective: Learn to roll over.
Reward: 10 Points.
New Skill Unlocked: Basic Motor Control (Level 1)
A warm tingle ran through his limbs. It wasn't super-strength, but suddenly, his hands felt less like sausages and more like... tools. He flexed his fingers. He could actually close them into a fist on command now, rather than just grasping reflexively.
'System. Open Store.'
The translucent blue menu appeared in his mind's eye, overlaying the view of the carpet fibers.
[ CURRENT POINTS: 17 ]
[ AVAILABLE SKILLS ]
• Gurgle Charm (10 pts): Increases cuteness by 15%. Good for getting extra food.
• Power Nap (5 pts): Fully rest in 2-hour bursts.
• Observation (20 pts): Analyze targets and items for basic information.
• Eagle Eye (15 pts): Corrects infant vision blurriness immediately.
Adrian hesitated. Observation was the gamer's bread and butter. Information was power. But he was three points short.
He looked at Eagle Eye. Right now, everything beyond five feet was a blurry watercolor painting. If he wanted to gather intel on Derry, he needed to actually see it.
'I can't fight what I can't see. And I'm tired of seeing the world in 144p resolution.'
He purchased Eagle Eye.
[ PURCHASE COMPLETE ]
Skill Acquired: Eagle Eye (Level 1)
Cost: 15 Points.
Points Remaining: 2.
The world sharpened instantly.
The dust motes dancing in the sunbeam became distinct particles. The texture of the couch fabric popped into focus. He could read the headline on Thomas's newspaper across the room: "CANAL WATER LEVELS DROP; SEARCH CONTINUES FOR..."
The rest was folded over.
'Search continues for who?' Adrian thought, his heart skipping a beat. 'Is it starting already? No, the cycle is dormant. It has to be a normal missing person. Or... as normal as it gets in this town.'
"Okay, big guy," Elena said, standing up and scooping him off the floor. "The sun is out. Let's get some fresh air."
The stroller was a rattling cage of metal and canvas, but with Eagle Eye, the ride was a reconnaissance mission.
They walked down Witcham Street. It was picturesque in that unsettling, Norman Rockwell way. Autumn leaves crunched under the stroller wheels. The air smelled of woodsmoke and damp earth.
Adrian scanned everything.
[ TARGET ANALYZED ]
Object: Storm Drain
Threat Level: Low (Currently)
Note: Don't talk to strangers in here.
He rolled his eyes. 'Thanks for the tip.'
They turned a corner, heading toward the center of town. Derry was bustling. 1950s cars bulky chrome tanks cruised slowly down Main Street. People tipped hats. It was idyllic.
"Oh, look, Adrian!" Elena stopped the stroller.
They were parked in front of a pharmacy. Keene's Pharmacy.
Through the glass window, Adrian saw a man in a white coat behind the counter Mr. Keene. He looked younger than the ancient figure from the movies, but his eyes were just as cold. He was handing a prescription bag to a woman with a young boy clinging to her leg.
The boy looked about four years old. He was coughing a wet, rattling hack that sounded painful. The mother looked terrified.
Adrian squinted. The boy had slicked-back dark hair and looked sickly, wrapped in a scarf that was too big for him.
The mother turned, and Adrian saw the fear in her eyes. It wasn't just worry for a sick child. It was the Derry Look. The look of a prey animal that knows a predator is nearby but can't see it.
Elena sighed, adjusting Adrian's blanket. "Such a shame about the flu going around. We have to keep you safe, little bear."
She turned the stroller around, heading back toward the suburbs.
He checked his points. 2 Points.
He needed to grind. Rolling over wasn't enough. He needed to crawl. He needed to walk. He needed to find a weapon that wasn't a rattle.
[ NEW MISSION AVAILABLE ]
Development Milestone: Crawling Commando.
Objective: Move 5 meters under your own power.
Reward: 20 Points.
Time Limit: 3 Weeks.
Adrian set his jaw (or tried to; it was mostly gum).
'Three weeks? I'll do it in one. Let's go, Mom. Put me on the rug. I need to get strong quick.
[ STATUS UPDATE ]
Name: Adrian Marsh
Age: 2 Weeks
Skills: Iron Will (Lvl 1), Professional Side-Eye (Lvl 1), Eagle Eye (Lvl 1), Basic Motor Control (Lvl 1)
Points: 2
Next Goal: Mobility.