Rustle.
The wind swept past the second-floor building, leaving only the soft whisper of leaves behind.
Nothing else stirred.
"Was that… my imagination?"
Uchiha Kai muttered under his breath, his gaze fixed suspiciously on the dense canopy above.
Whoosh—
The night wind, carrying the low roar of the pine forest behind Konoha, slid across the roof and brushed against the crooked tree standing by the door.
Kai stood in front of the shabby two-story house, one hand holding two bulging bags of trash, staring straight at the crooked tree twenty meters away.
Light flowed quietly in his eyes.
Dynamic Vision—on.
Huuu—
The wind grew stronger.
Between the branches in the distance, a strand of silver hair swayed gently in the night breeze—thin and faint, like moonlight spun into silk.
"White-haired ANBU… so it really is Kakashi-senpai."
Kai smiled, lifting the trash bags casually as he greeted him.
Crack.
Up in the treetops, the hidden figure's muscles tensed ever so slightly.
"You recognized me?"
Beneath the mask, Kakashi's throat bobbed.
The single visible eye revealed a trace of amusement.
"Interesting. I didn't expect Konoha to produce such a fascinating kid after all these years."
With that thought, he brushed aside the leaves and leaned forward to get a better look—
—and instantly regretted it.
"So, Kakashi-senpai," Kai said cheerfully, shaking the trash bags, "don't you think someone should teach this kid that expired milk isn't drinkable, and living off instant noodles isn't healthy?"
Boom.
A massive pot slammed straight onto Kakashi's head—metaphorically.
Crack.
A dry branch snapped underfoot.
Kakashi froze mid-motion, his expression turning complicated.
Guilt.
Self-reproach.
From the fog of losing his teammates, to numbing himself through endless slaughter on the battlefield, Kakashi had wandered for a long time.
It was only by clinging to laziness and indifference that he had finally dragged himself back.
But that same laziness… never truly left him.
Now that it had been called out so bluntly, a thought crept into his mind.
If sensei knew his child was living like this… he'd probably be disappointed in me.
Unconsciously, Kakashi halted his step.
He didn't want to show himself.
—or rather, he didn't dare.
He didn't dare face that face below.
Little Naruto really did resemble Minato-sensei far too much…
With a flick of his hand, Kakashi struck the nearby foliage, exposing two ANBU operatives hidden within.
The two ANBU, mid-snack with meatballs in hand: ???
Wait—Kakashi-senpai?!
Both stiffened instinctively and turned their heads toward the window.
Six eyes met.
"Oh! Isn't that the cat-face uncle who used to spy on my house every day last month?"
Kai's eyes lit up, his voice rising noticeably.
"Why didn't you come this month? The new cat-face uncle doesn't talk at all—just goes 'ah-ba ah-ba' every day."
"…Only ah-ba ah-ba."
Snap.
Both ANBU froze.
One of them cracked so hard his mask split open with a pop, revealing a pale, miserable face underneath.
He was about to cry.
Back when he was assigned to monitor the Uchiha clan, he'd spent every day in trees, getting chatted up like a circus monkey!
To get him to talk more, this cursed Uchiha brat had even tried to bribe him with bananas.
Bananas!
Was he some kind of zoo animal?!
He was a chūnin, damn it! He had dignity!
After enduring this for two and a half years, he'd finally applied for reassignment—
—and now this?!
The buzzing in his head grew unbearable.
Finally, he snapped.
"Shut up already!"
"I've already transferred posts—why do I still have to run into you?!"
"Damn it, we don't get paid enough for this nonsense!"
With that, he turned and bolted.
After a brief hesitation, his ANBU partner followed.
After all… with Kakashi-senpai here, whether they stayed or not didn't matter.
Kakashi: "..."
"As ANBU, getting scared off by a kid? Hah. Too impetuous—youth these days."
He sneered, ready to chase them down—
when the boy's voice floated out again from the window.
"Kakashi-senpai… you wouldn't want your teacher to know about this, right?"
Crack.
Another branch snapped.
Kakashi sighed and stopped.
His silver hair emerged slowly from the leaves, eyes filled with suspicion.
Just who is this kid?
A five- or six-year-old who knew this much?
Even things about him that were supposed to be secret?
Something was very wrong.
Was there an issue with the Uchiha clan?
Maybe… talking to this kid would reveal something interesting.
At the thought of that, Kakashi felt even more disdain toward the two ANBU who had fled.
A golden opportunity to extract intelligence, wasted.
He shook his head and straightened atop the tree.
"Sigh… kids these days are way too impatient."
"Relax," Kai said, sitting cross-legged by the window, casually stirring the night breeze with his fingers.
"I just wanted to ask—when you use Earth Style: Earth Wall, do you have to carve a dog's head on it?"
Kakashi: …I kind of want to leave.
...
Three minutes later, Kakashi frowned slightly.
[Conversation Target: Hatake Kakashi]
[Analyzing copyable traits…]
[Weak Constitution (black), Sharingan—Incomplete (purple), Fire Release Mastery (blue), Water Release Mastery (blue), Lightning Release Mastery (blue), Earth Release Mastery (blue), Taijutsu Mastery (blue), Genjutsu Mastery (blue)…]
"Wow. So this is Kakashi—the so-called 'Little Jiraiya,' the hexagonal all-rounder?"
Kai was genuinely surprised.
Even knowing Kakashi's reputation as the Copy Ninja, seeing a wall of mastery traits still exceeded expectations.
The Sharingan played a role, sure—but it couldn't account for everything.
Otherwise, why did most Uchiha only specialize in Fire Release?
Was it because they didn't want to master more?
Of course not.
And with this many mastery traits, even copying one should give him something solid.
Statistically speaking, it'd be ridiculous to end up with something like Weak Constitution, right?
Kai refused to believe his luck was that bad.
If he hit something like Chidori or Lightning Blade instead…
The anticipation alone made his heart race.
"Looks like I'll need to chat with Kakashi more often."
Kai thought, eyes gleaming with excitement as he looked at him.
Ten minutes passed.
Kakashi rubbed his temples, feeling mentally exhausted.
He'd come to gather information—
—but this kid just kept talking nonsense!
And every word stabbed straight into old wounds!
Sure, kids spoke without restraint—
—but this was downright vicious.
If Kai weren't a child, Kakashi honestly felt he might've jammed a kunai into that mouth already.
[Conversation duration reached: 10 minutes]
[Attempting to copy trait…]
[Copy successful. Congratulations, Host has obtained special trait: Thousand Years of Death (black)]
Kai's smile froze.
…Okay, but.
He really didn't need that.
What was he supposed to do—
Teleport behind enemies with Flying Thunder God, hide under Low Presence, and poke people with that?
Whoever took off first, he'd stab?
"…Should I just fuse it or something?"
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