The funny thing about Homelander is that he's not even that ridiculous or evil compared to how most people would act if given the powers of Superman. Not to mention being abused all throughout childhood and even used like a slave as an adult. Groomed into a monster by a greedy corporation.
I have a whole short life behind me already, but I still feel like I'll end up becoming a total piece of shit sooner or later. I wasn't even a bad person in my last life, maybe a few fucked up fetishes and bad habits, but I never really hurt anyone. Just a relatively normal person. And I died like a normal person too. Just got sick and couldn't afford to go to the doctor. The end.
Now I'm Kal El of the House of El. Born on Krypton, right as it's about to explode due to 'plot'.
First of all, I feel like I might be mentally retarded. At least compared to how Kryptonians are described in the comics, I'm pretty sure I have brain damage or some other issues. I do remember being born, getting shoved in a little pod and sent towards Earth. The crash landing wasn't a big deal, I barely felt anything.
When Jonathan Kent picked me up and brought me out into the sunlight, it felt like I was being supercharged. Like I could fly, shoot lasers out of my eyes and punch buildings into scrap metal… But I couldn't. Obviously, I'm just a baby. Even a baby Kryptonian in this particular universe doesn't seem capable of doing all that much.
"Aww, aren't you just the most perfect little angel?" Martha Kent in this universe was only in her forties when I arrived, but she unfortunately missed the chance to have kids regardless. So she doted on me a lot. While her husband was out working in the fields, she sat on the rocking chair on the front porch and held me against her chest.
"Gaga~!" I giggled and pulled her yellow blouse open, revealing her sexy tits. They were really impressive. The red-headed woman was honestly gorgeous, so this was probably one of the CW versions of Superman.
"Are you hungry?" She didn't get mad at me when I pulled her left breast into my mouth and started sucking on her nipple like a regular baby. Seriously, I don't get why everyone freaks out that Homelander has an oedipus complex. Sucking tits and having a thing for breast milk was probably one of his most normal quirks.
"Momma will get you some milk in a minute." She rubbed my bare back and the sun was shining down on the both of us. Empowering me and potentially giving her skin cancer. But I'm a Kryptonian goddamn it. Even if she got cancer, I could zap it with my eye lasers, right?
Sucking on my new mother's nipple, I couldn't help thinking about the fact that I never had this with my original mother. Or my biological mother in this life. Maybe that's part of what made me so fucked up in the head? A deprivation of normal skinship and physical touch? So even in my second life, I'm still so damn horny…
Fortunately I was wearing a diaper, so she didn't notice anything. I also tried to control myself.
It's hard to say whether I'm good at controlling myself or not. I mean, I probably controlled myself a bit too much in my last life. To the extent that I died a virgin. Maybe that's why I got Isekai'd as a Kryptonian? All that virgin energy boosting my reincarnation points?
Then again, I got reincarnated as Clark Kent. Not just any random Kryptonian. Not sure whether that's a blessing or a curse.
Okay, it's definitely a blessing. I'm fucking Superman. That's awesome and I refuse to bitch or whine about my potentially tragic future!
***
Jonathan and Martha were good parents. Too good, honestly. It was kinda annoying. I felt bad taking advantage of my Mom. I didn't have super vision or hearing yet, but she didn't think there was anything wrong changing or walking around naked in front of me.
This was the 90's and Martha was already in her 40's. Obviously she had a furry red bush. She did shave her legs and armpits though. Honestly she was a very normal woman for the most part. Nothing particularly special about her, aside from being really hot.
It made sense why they didn't have kids though. Even after several years, I haven't seen the two of them have sex yet. Not that they haven't done it, but it was very rare and they were really careful not to let me see or hear them.
When I arrived on Earth, I was already about a year old. Now I'm already four. I honestly wondered if I should just hide my powers from my parents for a while there, but eventually I decided against it.
My father watched me easily lifting up the side of his truck like a jack, so that he could replace the tire and couldn't help lecturing me, "Clark, remember. No matter what happens in the future, you need to make sure you protect yourself first."
"Don't worry, Dad. I'm not an idiot." I rolled my eyes and complained, "I'm more worried about you and Mom/ I feel like you'd rather die than let my secret get exposed."
"We would." He removed the tire and replaced it with a new one very professionally.
"Even if you guys died, I'd bring you back to life. You're not allowed to die." When I said that, he started laughing.
"Clark, if the Lord decides it's our time, then there's nothing any of us can do about it." The handsome dude smiled down at me with the sun behind his head, "I love you more than anything else in the world. I hope you keep that in mind."
"I know… I love you too." I couldn't help tearing up, which only made the bastard start laughing again. He crouched down and hugged me as tight as he could, but it barely felt like anything to me.
"Boys~! Lunch is ready~!" Mom shouted from the kitchen window. They hadn't changed much in the past few years, but I could still tell that they were getting older. Time is ruthless to humans after all.
At least the ones that don't use magic or science to become ageless and/or immortal. Because that's a thing in this world. A very real thing that exists all over the fucking place. The DC Universe is always flooded with magic and aliens. Not to mention Metahumans and shit like that. There's no reason that my parents need to age and die like regular people, while I have the power of a physical God inside me!
In Smallville, Clark's blood could give people superpowers and heal them. I'm not sure about this reality though. Also, with the asinine nature of the DC Universe, I wouldn't be surprised if by trying to make them immortal, I just turned them into zombies or made them die faster. Isn't God real in the DC Universe as well? Like God, Lucifer, a fuckload of other Angels and Demons.
So even if they did die, it's not like they'd be really dead-dead. Unless it's one of the versions of DC where God dies and Heaven is destroyed. That happens a lot. Maybe the whole universe I'm in will be erased from existence randomly? That also happens a lot.
As I was eating lunch at the dining table with the two of them, I couldn't help thinking about all the inevitable and unreasonable threats that we all faced at every moment. I was afraid and angry, but mostly just depressed. I was four years old, but I knew that my parents would die and there's nothing I could do about it. Not really. Not just my parents, but everyone and everything around me would die. I would be lucky if I could get past my teens to be honest. So many people are gonna try to murder and destroy us.
I need to hunt down all the Kryptonite and destroy it. But then there's magic. And aside from magic, there's also the Green Lanterns with their emotional bullshit tricks. Maybe I could get a Lantern Ring? But then we're also gonna get bombarded by black rings at some point that turn everyone into zombies, right?
*Rumble~!* I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but it felt like the whole house was shaking violently.
"Is it an earthquake?" Mom asked, putting her hand on my head.
"I don't know. I'll check the TV." Dad picked up the remote and turned on the little box with antennas on top. An old timey television, even for the 90's.
"This is Lois Lane, reporting live from Smallville!" Hearing and seeing the young woman on the tiny shitty screen, it felt like I was gonna have a migraine, if that was even possible. She might have been in her late teens or early twenties, but she was still a fucking adult while I was a four year old child!
"Although it isn't unheard of, earthquakes are rather rare in Kansas. Many people might not know that there is actually a fault line that runs down from Nebraska. The last recorded earthquake was over twenty years ago. It might sound like a long time, but for the Earth itself, twenty years is just the blink of an eye." She paused for a moment and looked down, "It seems that the shaking is over. Only a magnitude three, but it still felt so strong. There might be a few aftershocks, so don't be alarmed. Remember folks, panicking is often the most dangerous thing you can do in a strange situation."
"Just an earthquake then. Reminds me of our trip to California." Dad chuckled and turned off the TV. Thankfully my parents in this life didn't keep the TV or Radio running nonstop. In fact, they rarely ever used them at all. It was really nice.
"It did feel a lot stronger than just a three…" Martha frowned and looked towards her husband, then down at me.
"What? You think another alien spaceship crashed nearby?" I raised an eyebrow and then realized I made a mistake.
"Martha!" Dad shouted at Mom and she was also looking at him angrily.
"Don't blame me! Are you sure you didn't let something slip when you were drunk?" She yelled at him, hurting my ear a bit. Thankfully I don't have super hearing yet.
"I wasn't drunk, I was just a little tipsy. But I never told Clark about-"
"The fact that I'm an alien." I chuckled and shook my head, "Mom, Dad, don't fight. It's not a big deal, right? I know you guys like to say they're gifts from God or whatever, but I know I'm an alien. I came here in a spaceship. I've gone down and seen it a bunch of times."
"Listen Clark, I know you probably don't understand this yet, but you can't let anyone know about this." Mom hugged my face against her chest and I wrapped my arms around her thin waist, "There are really bad people out there. People who hunt down and capture people like you."
"The damn Government." Dad grumbled as he patted me on the back, "Trust us Clark. No matter what, you can never tell anyone about the ship or your powers."
"Okay." I obviously wasn't going to keep that promise, "I'll never let anyone know." That I didn't trust at least. I wasn't gonna make the same mistakes as Superman did in so many different timelines where he kept secrets from trustworthy friends and ruined relationships. Meanwhile he let untrustworthy assholes find out left and right.