[Present Day - Two and a half years into the relationship]
Rain stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and barely recognized himself.
When had the light gone out of his eyes?
When had the smile become something he had to force?
When had his own apartment started feeling like a prison?
His phone buzzed. Another message from Phayu.
Phayu: Where are you? Why aren't you answering?
Phayu: Rain.
Phayu: I can see you're reading these. Answer me.
Phayu: I'm coming over.
Rain's hands trembled.
Phayu had been at work.
He wasn't supposed to come over tonight.
Rain had counted on having one evening to himself, one night to breathe.
But that was the thing about Phayu—
Rain's time was never really his own anymore.
The door lock clicked.
Phayu had a key. Of course he did.
"Rain? Baby?"
Rain quickly splashed water on his face,
tried to compose himself. "In the bathroom! Just a minute!"
He opened the door to find Phayu standing there, suit jacket discarded, tie loosened, looking simultaneously worried and annoyed.
"Why didn't you answer my messages?"
Phayu's hands immediately cupped Rain's face, tilting it up, eyes searching. "I was worried."
"I'm sorry, I was just... I was in the shower." The lie came easily now.
Phayu's thumb stroked Rain's cheek, a gesture that once made Rain melt but now made him tense. "You're lying to me. Your hair is dry."
"I—"
"Don't." Phayu's voice was soft, but Rain heard the steel underneath. "Don't lie to me, Rain. I hate when you lie to me."
"I just needed a moment to myself," Rain said, trying to keep his voice steady.
"That's not a crime, Phayu."
Something flashed in Phayu's eyes—something dark that Rain had learned to fear.
But then Phayu smiled, and it was like watching a mask slide into place.
"Of course not, baby. I'm sorry." He pulled Rain into a hug, but it felt more like a trap closing.
"I just love you so much. The thought of you pulling away from me... it makes me crazy."
Rain stood stiff in the embrace, his mind screaming what his mouth couldn't say:
This isn't love. This isn't what love feels like.
"I made dinner reservations," Phayu continued, pulling back.
"That new French place you mentioned wanting to try."
"I... I actually have a project due tomorrow. I should stay in and work on it."
Phayu's expression didn't change, but the temperature in the room seemed to drop.
"Cancel it. Reschedule. Your project can wait."
"Phayu, I can't just—"
"Rain." Just his name, but spoken in a tone that made Rain's stomach clench.
"Don't make this difficult. I've had a long day, I made reservations, and I want to spend time with my boyfriend. That's not unreasonable."
Everything about this is unreasonable, Rain thought, but he heard himself say,
"Okay. Let me just change."
Phayu's smile returned, bright and loving.
"That's my good boy."
Rain retreated to the bedroom, hands shaking as he rifled through his closet.
His phone buzzed—his friend Sky.
Sky: You still alive? Haven't heard from you in weeks.
Sky: senior's having a party this weekend. You should come. When's the last time you had fun?
Rain stared at the message.
the word "fun"—when had he last had fun?
He started typing a response, but suddenly the phone was plucked from his hands.
"Who's Sky?" Phayu asked, scrolling through the messages.
Rain's heart hammered. "Just a friend from university. You've met him."
"Have I?" Phayu's eyes narrowed.
"And who is this seniors?"
"I don't know. I don't even—"
"You're being invited to parties you didn't tell me about." Phayu's voice was calm.
"Were you planning to go behind my back?"
"No! P'Phayu, I wasn't even going to respond—"
"But you thought about it, didn't you?"
Phayu stepped closer, backing Rain against the closet door.
"You thought about going to a party, meeting people or maybe meeting other guys."
"That's not—"
"Don't lie to me!"
The shout made Rain flinch, and something in that reaction seemed to bring Phayu back to himself.
He took a breath, his expression softening into something that looked like regret.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. I just... the thought of losing you. Of someone taking you from me."
He pressed his forehead to Rain's.
"You're everything to me, Rain. Why Don't you understand that?"
Rain felt tears burning his eyes. "I can't breathe, P'Phayu."
"What?"
"I can't breathe," Rain repeated.
the words tumbling out before he could stop them.
"I feel like I'm suffocating. I love you, but this... this isn't healthy. We aren't healthy."
Phayu went very still. "What are you saying?"
"I think..." Rain's voice broke. "I think we need to take a break."
The silence that followed was deafening.
Then Phayu laughed—
a sound completely devoid of humor.
"A break. You want a break from me."
"Just some space. Some time to—"
"No."
Rain blinked. "What?"
"I said no." Phayu's hands gripped Rain's shoulders, tight enough to bruise.
"You don't get to leave me, Rain. I won't allow it."
"You can't—"
"I can do anything I want!" Phayu's control shattered.
"Do you have any idea who I am? What I'm capable of? You think you can just walk away from me?"
For the first time, Rain saw something truly terrifying in Phayu's eyes—
something cold and ruthless that made him realize he never really knew this man at all.
"Phayu, you're scaring me."
That seemed to penetrate.
Phayu's grip loosened, and he stepped back, running hands through his hair.
"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He looked at Rain, and there were tears in his eyes now.
"Please, baby. Please don't leave me. I'll be better. I'll give you space. Just don't leave me."
Rain's heart was torn.
Part of him wanted to comfort Phayu, to take back his words.
But a stronger part—a part he'd been ignoring for too long—knew this was his chance.
"I need you to leave," Rain said quietly.
"Tonight. I need you to leave and give me time to think."
"Rain—"
"Please." Rain met his eyes. "If you really love me, you'll respect this. You'll give me space."
For a moment, Rain thought Phayu would refuse.
Would force the issue. Would...
But then Phayu nodded slowly.
"Okay. Okay, I'll go." He picked up his jacket, moved toward the door, then turned back.
"But Rain? This isn't over. We're not over.
I'll give you tonight, but You'll always be mine. And soon you'll remember that."
The door closed behind him, and Rain collapsed to the floor, finally allowing himself to cry.
He didn't know that Phayu sat in his car outside for three hours, watching Rain's window, his mind already working on how to ensure Rain could never leave him.
All Rain knew was that for the first time in months, he was alone in his apartment without fear.
It was the last peaceful night he would have for a very long time...