[Evan Hale POV ]
I had always believed there were three unavoidable truths in life.
1. Death.
2. Taxes.
3. The realization that you were doing all of this for absolutely no reason.
Right now, I'm staring at my phone, confronting the 2nd truth.
The tax app glowed mockingly at me, filled with numbers that felt personally offensive. Income tax. Healthcare. Something labeled "miscellaneous deductions" which sounded suspiciously like legalized theft.
"Why," I mutter. "do I owe money for being alive?"
The phone did not respond. Coward.
I scrolled. And my soul scrolled with it.
Every swipe was another reminder that adulthood was just a long scam where you pay to exist and are grateful for the privilege. Retirement funds? For what retirement? This economy?
I closed the app.
Then reopened it.
Then aggressively locked my phone like that would teach it a lesson.
It didn't.
I slumped back in my gaming chair, which immediately let out a loud crack like it, too, was done with me. Do chairs usually sound like that? The ceiling above me had that familiar crack shaped vaguely like a middle finger.
"Wow," I muttered. "I feel like life is flipping me off daily."
I returned to my gaming screen on my laptop to finish off the Final Boss when...
My phone buzzed again.
It was a work email.
Slowly, like someone approaching a suspiciously ticking bomb, I opened it.
Regarding Your Position.
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh nononono.
That phrase alone probably shaved five years off my lifespan!
I skimmed the email with the emotional detachment of a man who already knew the punchline.
Due to restructuring…
Difficult decision…
Not a reflection of your performance…
"Shit," I said aloud. "I worked my ass of at that company for years only for this?!"
So I was fired.
On a Tuesday.
At 10:43 a.m.
Before lunch.
Before coffee number two.
Before life had even pretended to be decent.
I stared at the screen, waiting for something dramatic to happen. Tears. Rage. A breakdown.
Nothing came.
Just emptiness. Again.
"Well," I said softly, standing up, "that tracks."
I shoved my phone into my pocket, grabbed my jacket, and left the apartment. I didn't lock the door. If someone robbed me, they'd probably be doing me a favor.
The city greeted me like it always did—loud, crowded, uncaring.
People rushed past me with purpose.
Smiling couples. (Tsk. Don't they know that love is just propaganda made by the government to increase birth rates?)
Friends laughing. Someone eating a croissant like life was worth enjoying.
I felt like an NPC who'd missed the main quest.
I walked. And walked. And walked.
Thoughts chased me relentlessly. Bills. Rent. The future, which felt less like a promise and more like a threat. The way everyone kept saying it gets better without ever specifying when.
"What the-" I looked up and realised where my feet had taken me.
The building of the company I work at. I MEAN- The building of the company I USED to work at.
I didn't hesitate. I used my work pass to scan the gate and it still worked. Looks like they haven't terminated my pass. I took the stairs up the 30 level building.
"So they had budget for five-star level toilets but not to fix the damn elevator.." I grumbled as I climb, regretting not working out more.
The rooftop door was unlocked, which felt ironic in a cosmic-joke kind of way. The wind hit my face as I stepped out.
The city stretched below me—lights, roads, tiny people with tiny lives that probably mattered more than mine.
I walked to the edge of the rooftop.
I looked down.
No dramatic music played. No sudden flash of memories. No voice telling me to hold on.
Just silence.
"Figures," I muttered. "Even my ending is underwhelming."
I stepped forward and let myself fall through the night sky. Mid-fall, I closed my eyes and smiled for the first time in years as a feeling of peace overwhelm me. My meaningless life can come to an end.
CRACK! The pain was instant when my body hit the gravel, and I sharply exhaled my last breathe.
—
[Lucien Valebrook POV]
I woke up screaming.
"WHAT THE FUCK—"
I choked on air and shot upright.
First problem: I was breathing.
Second problem: the bed was extremely soft. Like, offensively soft.
Third problem: everything smelled expensive.
I blinked.
Once.
Twice.
"Don't tell me..."
The room was massive. Dark walls. Heavy curtains. Furniture that screamed noble and rich. Sunlight poured in dramatically like this was an opening cutscene.
I looked down at myself.
Long arms. Muscles. And a fancy robe covering my body.
"What," I croaked.
My voice was deep. Smooth. Hot.
Unfairly hot.
I scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over silk sheets—silk—and staggered toward a mirror.
And froze.
Tall. Broad. Sharp jaw. Red eyes glowing faintly like I was legally obligated to destroy kingdoms. Black hair falling perfectly, because of course it did.
I stared.
The man in the mirror stared back.
"…You have GOT to be kidding me."
Remember the game I was playing on my laptop right before I got the email firing me from work?
Crownfall: Requiem of Kings
The story-based game that follows The Hero going through all sorts of trials, getting powers, yada yada, all the generic fantasy stuff. And looking at myself(?) My new body, it seemed I'm in the body of the worst character in the game.
Lucien Valebrook.
Duke of the North.
The Final Boss of the game. He was destined to die brutally at the hands of The Hero.
I collapsed backward onto the bed. I was now destined to die brutally at the hands of The Hero.
"I jump off a building," I groaned into the pillow, "and THIS is what I get?"
I rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling—which was also unnecessarily ornate.
"I didn't even want a second life," I muttered. "I wanted a nap. Like. Forever."
I groaned again, louder this time.
I AM SO DONE. WHO TF PUT ME IN HIS BODY?! IS THIS EVEN REAL. I'M TOO LAZY TO EVEN FIGURE OUT WHERE I AM IN THE TIMELINE OF THE GAME!!
Sure, I want to die. But not by being brutally stabbed by The Hero and getting my body burned painfully before throwing me in a cave where a dragon will rip me apart!!!
"I never really questioned the morality of The Hero when I played that darn game," I sighed. "But COME ON. Anyone can agree that all that was too much!"
I flung an arm over my eyes.
"…At least I'm hot," I admitted.
That's probably the ONLY good thing about being thrown into the life of Lucien.