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The Way We Burn

Eternal_Soul_
7
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The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 7 chs / week.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1 — The First Cut

Rain fell like a punishment over the city. Not the kind that cleanses, but the kind that soaks into the bones, that turns streets into slick black mirrors reflecting fractured neon and the slow crawl of headlights. It had been three days of this — a gray, suffocating curtain between the world and the people trapped beneath it.

Elias Kane sat in his office on the third floor of the Grayson Building, a narrow rectangle of glass and steel that looked more like a prison than a place of healing. Outside, the city groaned under the weight of its own decay. Inside, the air was still, sterile, smelling faintly of old paper, stale coffee, and the sharp tang of antiseptic wipes.

He was alone. Again.

The case file lay open on his desk, the edges slightly curled from being handled too many times. On top: a police booking photo of Clara Shaw. Thirty-two years old. Charged with first-degree murder. The woman in the photo didn't look like a killer. She looked like someone who had been erased slowly, then violently restored in blood.

Dark hair pulled back. Hollow eyes. Lips pressed into a thin line, as if she had already decided not to speak, not to beg, not to cry. She looked tired. Not just physically, but in a way that suggested the exhaustion of a soul that had been worn down to the bone.

Elias flipped the page.

Crime scene photos. Blood spatter on the kitchen tiles. A man's body sprawled near the sink, head twisted at an unnatural angle, one hand still clutching a wine glass. Daniel Shaw, thirty-eight. Successful architect. Charismatic in public. A man who hosted charity galas and gave interviews about "designing spaces that heal." A man who, behind closed doors, had turned his wife into a ghost.

The official narrative: Clara Shaw killed her husband in self-defense after years of psychological and physical abuse. The unofficial whispers, the ones that slithered through the precinct and the courthouse hallways: she snapped. She planned it. She enjoyed it.

Elias didn't care about the story. He cared about the mind behind it.

He had been assigned as the forensic psychologist to evaluate Clara's mental state before trial. Was she psychotic? Traumatized? Manipulative? Or all three? Was she a victim who finally broke, or a predator who had been waiting for the right moment to strike?

He closed the file and leaned back in his chair, fingers steepled under his chin. The room was cold, sterile — gray walls, a single window that looked out over the city's spine of concrete and steel, a desk cluttered with case notes, half-empty coffee cups, and a single framed photo of his younger sister, taken years ago, before she disappeared from his life in a different kind of silence.

No plants. No personal touches beyond that. No warmth.

Just work.

Just control.

That was the only way to survive this job. To sit across from people who had done unspeakable things, to listen to their confessions, their lies, their justifications, and not let any of it inside. You built walls. You kept your distance. You reminded yourself, every second, that you were the observer, not the participant.

His phone buzzed. A message from Dr. Reyes, his colleague and the one person who still pretended to care about his boundaries:

> "Clara Shaw's here. She's early. You ready?"

Elias stared at the screen for a long moment. Then typed back:

> "Send her in."

He didn't look up when the door opened. He waited until the sound of footsteps stopped, until the air in the room changed — heavier, charged, like the moment before a storm breaks.

Then he looked.

Clara Shaw stood just inside the door, wearing a plain gray sweater and jeans, her dark hair pulled back, her face unreadable. She wasn't crying. She wasn't shaking. She didn't look at the floor, or fidget, or apologize for being early. She just stood there, like she had already accepted whatever was coming.

"Sit," Elias said, voice flat.

She sat. Not on the edge of the chair, not leaning forward like most patients. She settled back, arms crossed, eyes locked on his. There was no fear in them. No pleading. Just a quiet, unnerving stillness.

"You're the shrink they sent to decide if I'm crazy," she said. Not a question. A statement.

"I'm here to understand what happened," Elias said.

She smiled. A small, cold thing. "There's a difference?"

He didn't answer. He opened a fresh notebook, wrote the date, her name, and the time. Then he looked at her again.

"Tell me about Daniel."

For a long moment, she said nothing. The rain tapped against the window like fingers. The city groaned outside. Somewhere, a siren wailed, then faded.

Then, quietly, she said:

"He didn't hit me at first. He didn't need to. He just made me believe I was going insane. That I was too sensitive. Too dramatic. That I was the problem."

Elias kept his face neutral, but something inside him shifted. He had heard this before. Too many times. The slow erosion. The gaslighting. The way a man could destroy a woman without ever raising his voice. The way he could make her doubt her own memory, her own sanity, until she started apologizing for existing.

"And then?" he asked.

"Then he started hitting me," she said, as if describing the weather. "Not every day. Just enough to remind me who was in control. Just enough so I'd never leave."

Elias made a note. *History of psychological and physical abuse. Patient appears detached, emotionally flat.*

"But you left," he said.

"No," she said, her voice dropping. "I stayed. I cooked his meals. I smiled at his friends. I let him touch me when he wanted. I played the perfect wife."

She paused. Her eyes didn't waver.

"Until I didn't."

Elias felt it then — the first crack in his armor. Not pity. Not sympathy. Something darker. A pull. A recognition.

Because he knew what it was to wear a mask. To smile when you wanted to scream. To bury the rage so deep it turned into something else. He had spent his life building a fortress around himself, layer by layer, brick by brick. He didn't let people in. He didn't let himself feel. He observed, analyzed, diagnosed. That was safer.

But Clara Shaw wasn't like the others.

She wasn't broken in the way most victims were — not shattered, not begging for rescue. She was something else. Something sharper. She had been broken, yes, but she had used the pieces to build something new. Something dangerous.

He looked at her and saw not just a murderer, not just a victim.

He saw a mirror.

And for the first time in years, Elias Kane felt something he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a long time.

Interest.

Dangerous interest.

"Why did you stay?" he asked, voice low.

She tilted her head slightly, studying him. "Because I thought I deserved it."

"Did you?"

"No," she said, almost too quickly. Then, quieter: "But I believed I did. For a long time."

Elias wrote: *Internalized guilt. Belief in deserved punishment. Classic trauma response.*

"But that changed," he said.

"It did," she said. "The night he broke my wrist, he told me I was lucky he didn't throw me down the stairs. He said I should be grateful he still let me live in his house, eat his food, wear his name."

She looked down at her hands, flexed her fingers slowly. "I remember thinking, in that moment, that if I ever got the chance, I would make sure he never spoke again."

Elias didn't flinch. He kept his face neutral, but his pulse had picked up, a quiet drum beneath his ribs. This wasn't just trauma. This was calculation. This was a woman who had planned, who had waited.

"And did you?" he asked.

She looked up. Her eyes were dark, unreadable. "You already know the answer to that."

He did. The file had told him. The crime scene photos had shown him. But he needed to hear it from her. Needed to see how she framed it.

"I want to hear it in your words," he said.

She leaned forward slightly, elbows on her knees. "I waited. I watched. I learned his patterns. When he drank, when he was tired, when he thought he was safe. And then, one night, when he came at me again, I didn't step back. I stepped forward."

Her voice didn't shake. There was no regret, no tears. Just a quiet, terrifying certainty.

"I hit him. Again. And again. Until he stopped moving. Until he stopped breathing. Until he was quiet."

Elias wrote: *Patient describes act of violence with emotional detachment. No remorse expressed. Possible psychopathy or severe dissociation.*

But even as he wrote it, he knew it wasn't that simple.

Because the way she said it — the way her eyes held his, the way her voice dropped to a whisper — it wasn't the coldness of a sociopath. It was the coldness of someone who had burned so hot inside that everything else had turned to ash.

"You could have run," Elias said. "You could have called the police."

"I could have," she said. "But I didn't. I stayed. I called 911. I told them what I did. I told them why."

"And now?" he asked.

She looked at him for a long time. Then, softly: "Now I'm here. And you're trying to decide if I'm a monster or a victim."

Elias didn't answer. He closed his notebook, but he didn't look away from her.

"You're not what I expected," she said.

"Neither are you," he admitted.

She smiled again, that same cold, knowing smile. "Good. I'd hate to be predictable."

The session ended five minutes later. Elias stood, walked her to the door, watched as she disappeared down the hallway, her footsteps quiet against the linoleum.

When the door closed, he sat back down.

He didn't open the file again. He didn't write more notes.

He just stared at the empty chair, at the space where she had been, and felt something he hadn't felt in years.

Not just interest.

Not just recognition.

But the first, quiet whisper of something far more dangerous.

Want.