Chapter 11: No Lewdness Allowed
Ishigami Yu, an introverted student, had tracked down and publicly assaulted a classmate, refused to write a letter of repentance, and has been suspended from the Middle School division, still not promoted to the High School division. The next step in the process was expulsion from Shuchiin.
Based on the files, as the teacher said, he was simply a bad student who committed deplorable acts and refused to admit his mistakes.
However, if he were truly an irredeemable bad student, the rigidly upright Miko Iino wouldn't still be protesting to the school on his behalf.
Furthermore, evaluating an action and evaluating a person are two different matters; a bad person doesn't suddenly become a good person just because they performed one good deed.
When Hikigaya Hachiman was exceptionally promoted to Disciplinary Committee Chairman by the former Student Council President in his first year, he used iron-fisted methods to punish or expel many ostensibly decent senpai scoundrels who relied on their family background to engage in dirty deeds.
Of course, part of the reason was that Hikigaya Hachiman felt that Ishigami Yu, based on the documents, was somewhat similar to him.
Hikigaya Hachiman stopped thinking, because someone had arrived.
"Hachiman."
It was Miyuki Shirogane. He patted Hikigaya Hachiman on the shoulder and said with a smile, "Going to the Student Council room to eat? Let's go together."
The Student Council room was like a common base for the Student Council members; they would go there for any reason. Kaguya Shinomiya was the same.
Hikigaya Hachiman nodded. "Miyuki, I actually need to talk to you about something."
"What is it?"
"A friend asked me about starting a club."
"A friend, that's rare."
Shirogane Miyuki knew Hachiman's outwardly serious but inwardly twisted personality. The people he would refer to as friends were few and far between.
Hearing the teasing tone, Hikigaya Hachiman retorted unhappily, "Don't talk as if I can't make friends."
"Don't be mad, don't be mad."
Shirogane Miyuki smiled.
"Speaking of which, I heard you were absent this morning because you were hit by a car. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
Hikigaya Hachiman shook his head.
"It's just that my bicycle was destroyed."
Miyuki Shirogane sensed the regret in his voice. Even the budget-conscious Miyuki felt like saying he should have replaced that bicycle long ago.
"You've used that for a long time, haven't you?"
It certainly looked old. It's not that riding a bicycle is bad, but Hachiman had better options.
Shirogane Miyuki distinctly remembered when they first entered Shuchiin, he was nervous to see someone else riding the same kind of commuter bicycle as him and was overjoyed.
But when school ended, it was like a scene from a cop movie: seventy or eighty expensive black luxury cars were lined up outside the school gate, just to greet Hikigaya Hachiman with a "Good day, Young Master."
Miyuki Shirogane remembered clearly that Hachiman said one word.
"Get lost."
"Right away."
Immediately, all the cars left as quickly as they arrived.
From that day on, Miyuki Shirogane knew Hikigaya Hachiman was different from him. Miyuki rode a bike for necessity; Hachiman rode a bike to experience life.
"It's different. Komachi gave it to me."
Hikigaya Hachiman sighed again.
Miyuki Shirogane rolled his eyes. "I can't stand you, you sis-con."
"Miyuki, you should think about yourself before talking about others. When it comes to Kei, aren't you the same?"
Miyuki Shirogane and Hikigaya Hachiman both had younger sisters, and they were alike in their roles as older brothers.
"But Kei seems to dislike me recently. She keeps saying I'm gross or something."
Miyuki Shirogane sighed. "She might just be going through her rebellious phase."
"Maybe….
Someone seems to be inside."
Hikigaya Hachiman ended the small talk and noticed someone was already inside the Student Council room.
He opened the door and saw, "It's the Principal."
The Principal of Shuchiin, named Adolph Pescarolo, was an elegant French elderly man who always wore a wine-red suit.
"What is the Principal doing here?"
"Hikigaya-kun and Shirogane-kun."
The Principal smiled kindly.
"There is something I need to ask of you."
"What is it?"
Miyuki Shirogane and Hikigaya Hachiman sat on the sofa, facing the Principal.
"It's about a child named Ishigami Yu."
"Hikigaya-kun, you must have heard about it from Jujo-sensei."
Hikigaya Hachiman nodded.
"Yes, Principal."
"It's regrettable that the Middle School division's affairs are not under my jurisdiction, but if he advances to the High School division, he will indeed fall under our purview.
My main reason for coming today is to ask the members of the Student Council to investigate the events concerning Ishigami Yu thoroughly."
"That little girl in the first year is quite capable."
The Principal had heard about Iino earlier than Hikigaya Hachiman and had become interested, specially commissioning the Student Council to conduct a further investigation into the incident.
"I will have the other senseis provide you with the necessary documents.
I leave everything in your hands."
He then departed.
Shirogane Miyuki asked Hikigaya Hachiman, "Who is Ishigami Yu?"
Hikigaya Hachiman told Shirogane Miyuki everything he knew and detailed the existing points of doubt.
"First year, huh? Then let's have Secretary Fujiwara follow up on this a bit."
Miyuki Shirogane stroked his chin. None of the current members had much contact with the first-years.
It should be said that aside from Secretary Fujiwara Chika, the atmosphere of the entire Student Council resembled a gathering of a yakuza organization.
"Right, Hachiman, give me that application form. I'll sign it right away."
Shirogane Miyuki was very sensible. Since Hachiman personally brought it over, he signed it without question.
Furthermore, Miyuki Shirogane was quite curious that Hachiman had a friend he didn't know about.
"Mhm."
Hikigaya Hachiman handed the form to Miyuki Shirogane.
Miyuki walked to the desk, picked up a pen, and signed.
"Applicant: Yukinoshita Yukino."
A transfer student. Miyuki Shirogane remembered the name. Strange, how did they meet?
The name of the established club made Miyuki Shirogane's hand holding the pen tremble involuntarily.
"Service Club ?!
Is this legitimate?"
Shirogane Miyuki hesitated, looking at the suggestive name.
"Just sign it."
Hikigaya Hachiman looked at the idiot and immediately knew he was thinking something perverse.
"The purpose of activities is written below. I'm vouching for it, what are you afraid to sign?"
"What? What?"
Just then, a light voice appeared outside the Student Council room.
"Sign what?"
The room door opened, and a pink-haired girl burst in, wearing a carefree, sweet smile on her face.
"Hachiman, President, let me see too."
Fujiwara Chika, the granddaughter of Japan's former Prime Minister, the second daughter of the politically influential Fujiwara family.
"It's nothing, just a club application form."
Hikigaya Hachiman did not explain further, as things would become very troublesome with her involvement.
Behind the extremely approachable appearance of the pink-haired girl, her personality was chaotic in a certain sense.
Although Hikigaya Hachiman said so, Fujiwara Chika still leaned in for a look.
"Isn't this Yukino-chan?
Ooh! Service Club, what a lewd name!"
Chika Fujiwara became inexplicably excited after just two glances. She immediately crossed her arms at Hikigaya Hachiman.
"Hachiman, no lewdness allowed!"
"Idiot, read the purpose of the activities below properly!"
Hikigaya Hachiman was not polite, chopping the top of Fujiwara Chika 's head with his hand.
"Is your brain only capable of thinking about lewdness all day?"
Chika Fujiwara held her head and looked at Miyuki Shirogane.
"Waaah, President, Hachiman is bullying me."
Miyuki Shirogane picked up his teacup and took a sip. He was used to this kind of farce.
'Hachiman never hits hard.'
Taking advantage of the distraction, Miyuki Shirogane signed the form on behalf of the Student Council. The club was approved.
"Thanks."
Hikigaya Hachiman put the form away.
"What's all this noise about?"
The ice-cold Shinomiya Kaguya walked in, stylishly flipping her hair.
Chika Fujiwara, seeing her support, immediately ran and hugged Shinomiya Kaguya.
In the entire school, only Fujiwara Chika dared to be so presumptuous with the "Ice Princess," Shinomiya Kaguya.
"Kaguya-chan, Hachiman is going to do lewd things in the sacred school grounds!"
"Huh?"
Kaguya Shinomiya was stunned.
"Shinomiya, don't listen to this idiot talking nonsense."
Hikigaya Hachiman sent a text message to Yukinoshita Yukino, informing her that the form had been signed.
"I'm just helping a friend establish a volunteer-type club for helping others.
The Principal and teacher just said they need the Student Council to help with a matter."
Hikigaya Hachiman relayed what the Principal and teacher had said to Shinomiya Kaguya and Fujiwara Chika.
"Ishigami Yu."
Kaguya Shinomiya thought for a moment after hearing the name.
"I was planning to resolve this matter soon anyway."
Miyuki Shirogane said to Chika Fujiwara, "So, we need Secretary Fujiwara to put in some effort. You are relatively familiar with the first-years; they might have been classmates with Ishigami Yu."
However, Fujiwara Chika did not agree as cheerfully as Miyuki Shirogane had hoped. Instead, she gave Hikigaya Hachiman a look that clearly said, "You're trying to slack off."
"Hachiman can easily do this too, right?"
"Huh?"
Hikigaya Hachiman was a little confused.
"That's sneaky, Hachiman."
Fujiwara Chika 's lips curled up high, a look that said, You can't fool me.
"Don't think I don't know you have a very good relationship with a first-year junior."
Hikigaya Hachiman looked confused, thinking, Who would I know?
"Isshiki Iroha, of course!"