Darkness. That was all he knew.
No scent. No sound. Just the hollow echo of his own heartbeat pounding in his skull.
Who am I?
Where am I?
He tried to think, but the thoughts came jagged—splintered fragments that didn't fit together. He was standing in snow. His hands—no, his paws—were stained red.
Then the voices started. Static at first. Distant.
We're being attacked!
Need backup—anyone nearby?
A man's voice. Urgent. Familiar.
Jax's ears twitched. Who—?
Minutes later, another mindlink broke through.
Saved me… She's not in good condition. I can't shift to protect her—need help.
Confusion slammed into him. The words echoed in his head over and over. He recognized the voice, and the pain in it clawed at his chest.
Why couldn't he remember anything?
His wolf whined softly inside him.
Something's missing.
The voice in his head sounded fractured too, like it was trying to claw through fog.
A hole yawned open in Jax's chest—cold, hollow, aching. He didn't know what it was, only that it was unbearable. Something important was gone. Someone.
And then—
Jax… can you hear us? We need you right now, buddy. Your mate is—
The mindlink snapped off mid-sentence.
His entire body froze. Mate?
He waited for the voice to come back. It didn't. His wolf whimpered louder this time, pacing inside his skull. He didn't remember who his mate was—but the word made his bones ache. The hollow in his chest deepened.
He didn't know how long he ran before the scent hit him.
Blood.
Too much of it.
The snow was stained crimson across a clearing up ahead. He stumbled toward it, his claws crunching over the frozen ground. Two scents mingled in the air—one dark and sharp like pine, the other… soft. Sweet. Familiar in a way that made his chest constrict. Vanilla and moonlight.
He didn't know their names. But his wolf did.
Family.
He whined, circling the clearing. The trail ended here. The snow was churned up, the air thick with the scent of pain.
And then it was gone. He howled once, low and broken.
That night, he dreamed. A goddess who stood in a silver forest, her hair catching moonlight. She was crying—calling for him.
He took a step forward. His heart cracked open at the sight of her.
She reached for him, her voice cracked. "Please..."
He reached out, but the darkness poured in again—black fog swallowing her whole. He heard her scream his name, panicked and terrified.
"Nova!"
Her name ripped from his throat like a wound opening.
"I love you!" he shouted—but she was already gone.
He woke with a start, chest heaving, heart hammering. Nova.
The name still echoed in his mind.
Nova.
Pieces of his memory began to slide into place, sharp and fast. Faces. Voices. Laughter.
Finric. Cael.
And her—blonde-white almost silver hair, striking green eyes, the scent of vanilla and moonlight.
He gasped, touching the side of his shoulder. His fingers brushed against a raised scar—the mark. Her mark.
"FUCK!"
He ran stopping at an emergency cache at the tree line, grabbing a pair of pants. His hands were shaking as he yanked them on. And then he was running—barefoot, shirtless, sprinting back toward the castle faster than he'd ever run in his life.
Holy gods. What had he done?
He remembered flashes—yelling, the look of fear in her eyes, the sound of something breaking.
He'd thrown her.
He'd hurt her.
He'd threatened her.
Panic roared through him like wildfire.
He burst into his quarters. The room was a disaster—broken lamp, overturned table.
"Did I—punch Cael?" he muttered, staring down at the dent in the stone. He couldn't even remember.
He pulled on a shirt and boots, then sprinted through the halls toward Nova's room.
Empty.
No scent of her anywhere.
His pulse spiked. He could feel through the bond—something, faint and distant—but it wasn't enough. Something was wrong with her.
He ran to the infirmary.
"Elias!" Jax barked, almost snarling it.
The healer jumped, dropping his clipboard with a clatter. His eyes widened. "Jax?"
"Where is she?" Jax demanded. "Where's Nova?!"
Elias hesitated, uncertain whether to answer or call for guards.
"One second," he muttered, already mindlinking Aeron, Cael, and Finric.
"Answer me!" Jax snapped. "Where is she?!"
Elias raised his hands slowly. "You've been gone for a week, Jax. Sit down. Please. We need to make sure you're okay first."
Jax's jaw flexed. His wolf growled low in his chest. But he forced himself into the chair.
A few moments later, Aeron and Cael arrived. Cael's expression was unreadable.
"Fin is passed out still." Cael said to Elias. He then looked at Jax, "Do you know who we are?"
"Yes," Jax said immediately, voice sharp.
"Do you know who Nova is?" Cael pressed.
"Yes." Jax's voice broke, coming out half a growl. "And I need to see her."
"Do you remember she was poisoned?" Aeron asked quietly.
Jax frowned, shaking his head at first. But then the memory hit.
Her blood on the floor.
Her body going limp in his arms.
His own voice, hoarse with grief. "I love you. Don't die on me."
His heart pounded in his ears at the memory.
"I remember," he said hoarsely.
Aeron exchanged a glance with Elias. "When you were marked, something happened. I think Nova still had traces of Lycura's Kiss in her bloodstream. It's laced with dark magic."
"That dark magic," Elias added, "blocked your memories. And the mate bond. It twisted everything—made you see her as a threat."
Jax froze. The words sank in like shards of ice.
"So that's why…" His chest tightened.
"That's why you hated her." Cael finished his sentence for him.
Aeron nodded slowly. "Do you still want to kill her?"
Jax's head snapped up, eyes flashing gold. "No."
He swallowed hard. "I want to see her."
Elias grabbed another vial. "First, I want to be sure there are no traces of the poison left in your system. We'll give you the same antidote we used on Nova and Elle."
"Do it."
Elias injected the antidote. The moment it entered his bloodstream, Jax felt it—the fog lifting, shadows peeling away from his mind. Like breathing after drowning.
Cael watched him. "You look different already."
Jax let out a shaky breath. "I feel… clearer."
Aeron folded his arms. "Now we know. Nova's blood can heal flesh and restore life, but not cleanse dark magic."
Jax looked up at them all, running a hand down his face. "I feel her again now," he said. "Through the bond. But it's … it's faint."
Aeron's gaze sharpened. "Then we were right. The dark magic severed the connection."
Elias looked at Jax. "You should know that she didn't eat or sleep or leave your side while you were unconscious. She went to find you everyday and hid herself so she didn't upset you. Mate bond severed or not, she didn't waver."
Jax's heart tightened. He just wanted to see her and hold her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was. He shut his eyes, guilt pouring into his body.
Aeron eyes studied Jax. "Her venom didn't just mark you—it merged with you. Whatever she is… whatever her power truly is—your wolf absorbed. It's stronger in you than it is in her."
Silence hung heavy in the air.
Jax's wolf stirred inside him, restless and wild.
Power thrummed under his skin.
Nova's scent still lingered faintly in the air—soft, divine, his.
"I need to see her," Jax said again, this time quieter. "Now."
Cael's mindlink jolted Fin awake.
Cael: Fin… you awake buddy? Been trying to reach you. Jax is back.
His eyes snapped open.
Fin: Does he have his memories back?
Cael: Mostly. Elias gave him the antidote for Lycura's Kiss and more memories are surfacing. He's pretty upset.
Fin's chest tightened.
Fin: Where is he now? I want to see him before Nova.
Cael: Understood. We didn't tell him where she was. He was himself… but a little more aggressive. Maybe leave out the fact she's in your room until he's calm.
Fin rose, carefully, so as not to disturb her. She was on the bed, quiet, fragile, smelling of moonlight and vanilla. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. One last moment to memorize her.
Then he tucked the blanket around her and quietly gathered her ruined suit—the one enchanted for her shifts—and threw it in the hamper for the omega to clean.
He pulled on loose pants, slippers, and didn't bother looking in the mirror. No need. He knew he looked terrible.
He descended one floor and knocked at Jax's door.
"Come in," said an omega cleaning the threshold.
"Jax?" Fin called softly.
The door opened.
The omega slipped out silently, closing the door behind her.
Jax sat on the couch, glass of scotch in hand, staring into the fire like it might have the answers he was missing. He had dark circles under his eyes and slight stubble lined his jaw. He looked like a man who'd seen too much—and remembered too little.
Fin stepped into the room, the door closing softly behind him.
"You look like hell," Fin said dryly.
Jax snorted and took a sip. "Right back at you, buddy."
Fin walked over and clapped a hand to his shoulder, pulling him into a rough, brotherly hug. "I'm glad you're back and okay. Don't ever accidentally get marked with venom laced with black magic again. Scared the shit out of us."
Jax huffed a laugh—tired, bitter. "Yeah. Not on the bucket list."
Fin moved to the side table and poured himself a glass of scotch, sinking into the armchair across from Jax. The fire crackled between them, casting shadows across the raw gashes still healing on Fin's chest.
Fin took a sip, then looked up. "What do you remember?"
Jax was quiet for a long time. The fire popped.
"Flashes," he said finally. "Running. Pain. Emptiness. And anger. Gods, I was so angry. At everything." He shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. "There were voices in my head. Yours. Cael's. Then hers."
Fin's jaw tightened but he stayed silent.
"I had dreams," Jax went on. "Of her. I didn't know who she was…" He took another sip of scotch.
"Her voice—my wolf remembered before I did. That's when I knew something was wrong."
Fin nodded slowly. "It was the Lycura's Kiss. There were still traces of it in her when she marked you. Her venom carried it into you."
"I felt it. I hated her. I threw her." He looked down at his hands like they'd betrayed him. "Gods, Fin, I hurt her."
Fin leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. "You weren't yourself. That magic—it's not like anything we've dealt with. It twisted everything."
Jax set his drink down, his voice cracking. "She must hate me."
Fin's voice dropped. "She doesn't."
Jax's eyes snapped up.
"She's… she's been a mess. She loves you," Fin said, forcing the words out because they mattered more than how he felt. He could still feel her curled into him, her warmth against his chest, her blood saving his life—but that didn't matter now. What mattered was Nova loved Jax.
Jax raked a hand through his hair. "I need to see her. Gods, I have to apologize. I have to—"
Fin held up a hand. "She's asleep. Let me mindlink Elle first."
Jax blinked, surprised at the caution.
Fin raised an eyebrow. "Do you promise not to try to kill her?"
Jax's eyes widened, horror flashing across his face. "I love her. I will never hurt her. I need to make this right."
Fin took a breath, finishing off his scotch. "Good. There's some things that happened this week while you were away."
Jax nodded slowly, his eyes distant again.
"I've been going with her to check on you. Aeron wants her shifting more. Says it'll help her wolf manage something. She didn't want to say what it was, but I'm assuming her surges."
"Surges?" Jax asked, brow furrowing.
"Well," Fin continued, "she and Aeron were talking about it the other day—in code… so maybe they're trying to keep this private. I only know because I walked in during one. Aeron's having her do these exercises to trigger her … and then her power surges and she passes out. He seemed to not be alarmed but did mention he was doing this with her every day multiple times a day. I almost wonder if that is making her afraid of her power."
Jax stiffened.
"I walked on that too a few months ago. Is it still happening?" Jax asked, shaking his head.
"I think so." Fin tilted his head. "If it's not that, whatever it is, it's wearing her down."
The fire popped between them. Neither spoke.
Finally, Fin added, "I'm telling you this so you can start going with her. On runs. She shouldn't be going alone—she's never fought in her wolf form. I can tell the shifts are still painful. If you can't, I'll go with her."
"I'll go with her." Jax said quietly, swallowing hard. There was a lump in his throat he couldn't seem to move past. Guilt was an ugly thing, and it was crushing him.
Fin saw it. Decided to throw him a rope.
"Also," he added, voice lightening, "your mate runs like she's trying to outrun the gods. Fastest wolf I've ever seen."
Jax cracked a small smile. "Faster than you?"
"By a lot," Fin said with mock offense. "Which is just rude, honestly."
That got a real laugh from Jax. It was short, but genuine. The sound of two brothers finding their way back after the chaos.
"You'll get through this." Fin said.
Jax nodded.
They sat in silence for a while longer. The scotch bottle was half-empty. The fire burned low. And outside, snow began to fall.