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Naruto Having Fun with a Crazy Pen Name

_tiasey
42
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The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 42 chs / week.
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Synopsis
I was transported into the world of Naruto, and I gained the “Madman Alias System.” All I have to do is encounter a Naruto character to unlock their alias. So, let’s see how Julian White uses his ability, “Please Don’t Die”, to alter the course of war. Why did Kaito Natsuyuki, a rare and loyal supporter, betray his closest friends and leave Konoha? Why is Aragami Chuuya left alone, suspended high on a Ryukage altar, isolated and forsaken? Why did the sisters Kurohime and Akahime split paths in Kirigakure? And where will Will and Tazumi end up? How will the Academy City of Sunagakure flourish in the coming years? Behind all these twists, Julian White chuckles quietly, finding the entire situation absurdly amusing. This story is pure fun: the protagonist never suffers, plot twists are cleverly subverted, and the ending is perfectly satisfying. *TRANSLATION
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Chapter 1 - [1]: The Beginning of the Journey

The river flowed like silk, scattering flecks of golden light beneath the sun as it wound slowly toward the forest.

On the far bank, reeds bowed their heads, stirred now and then by the wind. It was not always so tranquil. At times, a fish would slice across the surface, leaving behind a fleeting, silent trace.

Weather this peaceful was perfect for lying down and doing absolutely nothing.

Suddenly, a fractured cry shattered the calm.

"Why, of all times, did I have to land here now?"

Julian White shouted in despair.

Five years ago, the memories of his previous life had awakened. He knew all too well how brutal the Second and Third Shinobi Wars would be. During his five years at the ninja academy, he had tried everything.

Yet his strength remained mediocre. Worse still, the Second Shinobi War was about to erupt.

Aside from setting a few simple traps and barely mastering the three basic clone techniques, Julian had nothing to rely on.

On the battlefield, he would be cannon fodder, chopped into pieces within minutes.

"Please," he begged, voice hoarse. "Heaven, earth, anything at all. Just give me a system. Any system will do."

He had lost count of how many times he had prayed like this.

Not once had it worked.

There was still no response. Julian lay flat on the riverbank.

He wore shorts speckled with bits of grass, his hands folded behind his head as he squinted at the clouds drifting past the Hokage Rock. Smooth, round pebbles were scattered near his feet.

He scooped up a flat stone, tossed it into the air, caught it, then flung it sideways in irritation. The stone skipped seven times across the water before sinking.

Five years gone, and aside from developing decent arm strength from endless training, he had achieved nothing.

Applause rang out.

"Nice throw!"

Another flat stone was picked up. "Watch this!"

With a sharp shout, the stone was hurled forward. It hissed as it cut through the air, skimming across the surface in a long, clean trail.

Powerful, smooth, without hesitation.

Julian snorted. "Still missed the count, Hashirama. You might as well give up."

Hashirama Senju's face flushed red. "I'm going to be Hokage," he muttered. "You don't become Hokage just by saying something is impossible." He launched into an impassioned monologue about becoming the greatest shinobi and earning everyone's respect, words no one else could fully follow.

Julian laughed until he could barely breathe.

After the roughhousing, the two lay side by side, talking about upcoming academy team assignments.

For Julian, staying close to Hashirama was essential. He was the grandson of the First Hokage, a direct heir of the Senju clan.

In an era still dominated by the Second Hokage's legacy, maintaining a close bond with him was political capital.

Their futures had to intertwine like interlocking branches, inseparable.

A towering tree cast a vast shadow. For a boy with nothing, Hashirama was the best shelter imaginable.

In the original timeline, Hashirama's younger brother would die to explosive tags. But if they trained in trap detection early, if a warning could be given, perhaps that fate could be avoided.

If Hashirama became Hokage, Julian could finally breathe easy.

"So," Julian said suddenly, eyes bright. "How do you think they'll assign the teams? For a future Hokage, teammates and a sensei are vital political assets."

Hashirama lay nearby, one arm shielding his eyes from the sun, silent.

Words were unnecessary. Childhood friends could read each other at a glance.

"Building something great has never been easy," Julian continued. "Calling behind-the-scenes support 'cheating' is arrogance, plain and simple."

"You have the ability to use resources, yet you refuse them and watch everything fall apart. Would you really feel proud of that?"

"You could help countless people, but if you fail to become Hokage, you'll only help a handful. That's foolish."

Clearly, Julian had already begun the long process of conditioning Hashirama to step onto the Hokage's path.

As his oldest friend, he knew exactly how to handle this stubborn bull.

Simple persuasion never worked. You had to raise the standard high enough for him to see the gap between his ideals and reality, then hammer the point home until it sank in.

"You don't truly believe you're strong enough yet, do you? Or is asking your teammates for help something you think is shameful?"

"You know better than anyone. The Hokage is someone acknowledged by all. Relying on friends isn't disgraceful. It's the only way forward."

Half truth, half strategy. If Hashirama truly possessed the First Hokage's power, the position would naturally be his.

But he did not.

Without Wood Release, his strength was not exceptional.

Which meant that refusing help would only make the road to Hokage even harder.

Julian kept talking, repeating the same points again and again until his throat grew raw.

"All right, all right, I get it," Nawaki Senju groaned, finally surrendering.

"The clan elders said I could form my own team, or study independently under a sensei."

"My sister suggested I meet Orochimaru. She wants me to train under him."

"And the academy entrance exams are in a few days. Even we upperclassmen have to participate."

"Then," Nawaki tried to continue, but Julian cut him off.

"Got it. Ace the exam, shine so brightly no one can look away, win the teachers' favor. Understood."

"She bombarded me with questions like a machine gun, then suddenly lost interest," Nawaki muttered. He looked like a scolded puppy, eyes damp and full of grievance.

Julian smiled sweetly. "Sorry. I wasn't trying to bully you. I just need you to accept the clan's support. Think of it as a small test."

Before he could finish, Nawaki interrupted.

"A test? What test? How does that even count as one?"

Julian's gaze sharpened. "Nawaki, you're cheerful, not foolish. Only someone who can unite every available force can become Hokage."

"Step one is uniting your own clan. Take it one step at a time, and maybe, just maybe, you'll survive."

"If you hide information about your lineup, you're denying my ability. And denying that is denying the championship itself. Test failed."

The pressure Julian exerted was heavy, his tone grave.

"As your childhood friend, do you really think I wouldn't find another path if there was one?"

He struck a heroic, resolute pose.

"What if I don't even know who my classmates are?" Nawaki whispered, shaken.

"Then even our own people will hesitate to support you as Hokage."

"That means your light isn't bright enough to draw them in. No matter how rough the road ahead is, I'll still stand by you."

"Enough. Stop overthinking it. Just being here is already good enough."

Nawaki gave a bitter smile. "You're my external brain. Of course I trust you."

Julian sighed. "You really are impossible."

He took a deep breath, his voice steady but heavy. "The First Shinobi War has barely ended, yet the world is already growing unstable again."

"The Third Hokage has only been in office a few years, and the murderer of your great-uncle, the Second Hokage, still walks free."

"And more importantly, your sister Tsunade has just graduated under the Third Hokage. She will seize this chance to take on a disciple."

"So that's why you've been pushing so hard?" Nawaki asked.

No.

Every moment, every opportunity, was worth this level of effort.

Remember this, Nawaki. First impressions are everything. Once a label is attached to you, it never truly disappears.

Make them believe you have the potential to become the future Hokage, and they will always see you through that lens.