"Killed my own teammate… with my own hands?"
Kakashi's question made Hikaru pause.
He hadn't expected something so blunt—so strange, and honestly, so rude.
But after thinking for a beat, Hikaru understood why Kakashi would ask.
ANBU work, by its nature, was cold. Unfeeling. Bloody.
In the middle of a mission, eliminating a liability—even if that liability wore your own uniform—was not unthinkable.
Just look at Kirigakure.
Their ANBU had been known to kill their own companions to prevent intelligence leakage.
Not one.
Not two.
All of them.
And in most people's eyes, ANBU was ANBU—no matter which village it belonged to.
So Kakashi asking this wasn't surprising at all.
After all…
He had killed a teammate himself.
Even if it had been an "accident," the blood was already on his hands. A man like Kakashi didn't argue semantics. He didn't ask why his teammate chose that path.
He only dug deeper into one conclusion:
I did it.
"I'm sorry," Hikaru said softly. "I'm not sure whether I count as someone who's done that."
His voice stayed gentle, but it carried a vague, tired ambiguity—like a sigh wrapped in politeness.
"You already know what ANBU work is like, or you wouldn't ask."
"And I know what happened to you. In ANBU, very few things stay secret."
He slowed his pace slightly, gaze forward.
"But since you asked… I'll tell you something."
"It was around my third year in ANBU. We were assigned to steal intelligence from Iwagakure."
"At first, everything went smoothly."
"Then our luck turned."
"We got marked by Iwa's own black ops. They chased us down."
"By the end, only me and one teammate were left."
"And he was badly wounded…"
Hikaru spoke gently, and the edges of sorrow seemed to creep into his tone.
That part was true. He wasn't making it up.
But the emotion behind it?
That was something Hikaru could control.
If you were going to tell a story—especially to someone like Kakashi—your delivery mattered as much as the words.
Back then, that wounded teammate had begged Hikaru to finish the mission no matter what.
And beyond that…
He asked Hikaru to kill him.
Dying to the enemy was humiliating. Being captured alive was worse than death.
ANBU had ways to destroy their own bodies, yes—techniques that could melt everything down before interrogation.
But the agony those methods caused was unimaginable.
Better to die quickly.
Better to die at a teammate's hand—someone who knew how to handle the body.
Hikaru had hesitated for only a moment before refusing.
Instead, he offered a different suggestion.
"Rather than die by my hand," Hikaru had told him back then, "why not draw them off… and wait for reinforcements?"
That was what Hikaru truly meant.
But the wounded teammate seemed to misunderstand it.
He thought Hikaru was trying to push him to live.
So he believed him.
With his last chakra, he created a shadow clone—disguised it as Hikaru—and used it to lure the enemy away.
The result…
Wasn't pretty.
Hikaru didn't go back for him.
He reported it to the battalion commander.
And the commander never attempted a rescue either.
The matter ended there—because everyone simply labeled the teammate as KIA.
But a story could be told in many ways.
Hikaru adjusted it—just slightly—turning it into a narrative where the teammate made that choice "on his own."
And with that, the taste of the story changed completely.
"…Honestly," Hikaru said, finishing, "I probably should've killed him."
"With wounds that severe, he had almost no chance to survive."
"If I'd given him a clean end, at least I would've spared him the pain."
He let the words hang, then turned his head toward Kakashi.
Kakashi's mask hid his expression, but the exposed eye held something unfocused—lost, drifting.
Hikaru's voice softened further, almost a whisper.
"Honestly… I really envy you, Kakashi."
"…Me?" Kakashi snapped back to attention, confusion flickering through his gaze.
"Yes."
Hikaru nodded.
"I don't know what your exact situation was. I can't judge what you and your teammates were thinking in that moment."
"But you did something I couldn't."
"You're a hero."
"And you're brave."
"And Rin was too."
"For a swordsman, all it takes to swing the blade is courage."
"But for a shinobi…"
"Especially when that blade is turned toward a comrade…"
"The weight you have to carry is far heavier than anyone understands."
It sounded like praise.
It sounded like comfort.
And somehow, that made Kakashi feel even worse.
He understood exactly what Hikaru meant.
But he didn't know how to answer.
He didn't agree with Hikaru's words—he shouldn't agree—
Yet somewhere deep inside, he desperately wanted to.
That contradiction churned inside him like ice water.
Was what I did… really wrong?
Was what Rin chose… really wrong?
Kakashi couldn't find an answer.
Worse—he didn't even know what kind of answer he wanted.
Seeing Kakashi fall silent, Hikaru didn't push further.
He'd already nudged the thoughts where Kakashi needed them to go.
That was enough.
The rest would take time.
"Still…" Hikaru thought as they continued onward, "for him to approach me like this…"
"Was it his own choice… or did the Fourth Hokage suggest something?"
If he was right, that made things interesting.
At first, Hikaru had only wanted to stir a little smoke.
But after receiving Flying Thunder God, his priorities shifted.
He'd been uncertain whether his earlier move would bring good or bad consequences.
But Kakashi's attitude now suggested one thing:
The Fourth Hokage didn't hold any hostility toward him.
"Then if I push a little more…"
"…maybe I can get Kakashi to do me a favor."
Behind the mask, Hikaru smiled.
His mood lifted noticeably.
"Still… I'll need to keep pressing."
"After we return, I'll have to maintain this connection."
"And also…"
His gaze flickered—
And his system panel surfaced again, the familiar data-like display sliding into view.
Hikaru sighed quietly.
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