We emerged from the Flirt Dungeon like two survivors of a very embarrassing war.
Stone stairs, lantern light, fresh air, and at the top, the market crowd already waiting like they'd placed bets on my face.
Yuki Tanaka stood there with her clipboard and a grin so bright it felt illegal.
Elise was beside her, arms crossed, paladin posture screaming, I knew this would happen.
Freya was perched on the railing again, snack in hand.
Sofia leaned against a pillar like she was ready to judge my soul.
Charlotte held a tea cup like she was about to host my funeral politely.
Kaori clutched her charm basket like it could shield her from gossip.
Rika bounced, tail swishing, eyes sparkling with violence.
Mira had a scroll already open, because of course she did.
The queen sat under her canopy, calm, watching like this was a play she paid for.
And Valeria Ardent stood slightly behind the crowd with arms crossed, face carefully neutral, and cheeks already suspiciously warm like she'd been angry for hours.
Vesper and I stepped into the sunlight.
Both of us were fine.
Both of us looked extremely not fine.
I still had my Consent Candle in my hands. It glowed steady, innocent, like it hadn't just witnessed a gate demanding the world's best kiss.
Vesper adjusted her jacket, hands up like a professional criminal caught in daylight.
Elise's eyes narrowed instantly.
"You're alive," Elise said.
"Yes," I said.
Elise's gaze flicked to Vesper. Then to me. Then to the way Vesper was standing just a little too close.
Elise's voice dropped a degree colder. "Why are you both blushing."
Vesper answered first, cheerful and doomed.
"The dungeon tried to kill us with romance."
Silence.
Freya's snack froze halfway to her mouth.
Sofia's eyebrows rose.
Charlotte's smile sharpened.
Rika made a tiny gasp that sounded like a kettle starting to whistle.
Kaori squeaked and hid behind her basket.
Valeria's jaw clenched.
The queen's eyes sparkled with calm interest.
Elise stared at me like she wanted the truth and also wanted to punch the truth.
"Ren," Elise said, very slowly, "did you kiss her."
I inhaled.
Consent Candle glowed.
I chose honesty because lying in Lustra only made paperwork worse.
"Yes," I said. "To escape."
Rika screamed, "ESCAPE KISS."
Freya shouted, "IT WAS A REAL KISS."
Sofia murmured, "Of course it was."
Charlotte's tea cup paused mid-air like she'd just heard a rival declaration.
Mira's pen started moving like it was hungry.
Kaori whispered, "Oh…"
Valeria snapped, too loud, "Ridiculous."
Nobody asked Valeria either.
Yuki lifted her clipboard like a judge about to announce a verdict.
"Excellent," Yuki said brightly. "Then we must log it."
I blinked. "Log it."
Yuki nodded. "Dungeon event. Emergency affection protocol. Kiss quality rating. It affects tournament eligibility."
I stared at her. "What."
Yuki pointed at my Consent Candle. "The candle recorded the gate response, correct."
The candle chimed in my head like it was proud of itself.
EVENT LOG AVAILABLE
QUALITY: EXCEPTIONAL
STATUS: EXIT UNLOCKED
Freya dropped her snack. "EXCEPTIONAL."
Sofia's smirk sharpened. "So he gave her the best one."
Charlotte's smile stayed polite, but her eyes narrowed like blades.
Rika bounced so hard I thought she'd levitate. "HE USED HIS ULTIMATE."
Kaori made a tiny noise like her soul tried to leave.
Valeria's face turned red instantly, like her pride had been slapped again.
"I don't care," Valeria snapped.
Freya turned and pointed at Valeria. "She cares."
Valeria hissed, "I DO NOT."
Yuki scribbled. "Noted. Dame Valeria cares."
Valeria's head snapped toward Yuki. "STOP WRITING."
Yuki wrote more.
Elise pinched the bridge of her nose like she was praying for patience.
"Ren," Elise said, voice tight, "did the dungeon force you."
"No," I said quickly. "It offered a choice. We could decline and stay trapped."
Elise's expression softened just a fraction. "So you chose."
"Yes," I admitted. "We agreed. Boundaries. One kiss, and then we needed sincerity, so we did it again. Still within boundaries. Still consented."
The queen nodded slightly, approving.
Sofia looked pleased in a predatory way.
Charlotte looked like she was already planning a counterattack.
Rika looked like she wanted to file ten claims at once.
Mira looked like she was about to invent a new legal category.
Yuki tapped her clipboard.
"Then congratulations," Yuki announced. "Vesper is now a wildcard contender."
I blinked. "Contender for what."
Yuki smiled. "The First Night Tournament. The winner earns the right to request the closed-door intimate date."
Vesper froze.
Vesper pointed at herself. "Me."
Yuki nodded. "You delivered an exceptional kiss. That is, unfortunately, a qualifying metric."
Vesper made a strangled sound. "I did not sign up for this."
Yuki flipped a page and held up a form with Vesper's name on it.
Vesper stared. "I never signed that."
Mira nodded calmly. "You wrote your name on the dungeon entry ticket."
Vesper's face fell. "That counts."
Mira nodded. "In Lustra, everything counts."
Elise muttered, "This city is sick."
Vesper looked at me with wide eyes. "Ren, save me."
I spread my hands helplessly. "I can't save myself."
Freya hopped down from the railing like she was ready for war.
"No," Freya said, smiling too brightly. "No wildcard. No new girl gets the best kiss and then casually walks into the finals."
Sofia smirked. "I agree."
Charlotte sipped her tea. "I also agree."
The queen's tone stayed calm. "I disagree."
Valeria snapped, "I don't care."
Nobody believed her.
Rika raised her hand. "I disagree with everyone. I want chaos."
Yuki rang her bell.
Ding.
"Order," Yuki said. "The tournament bracket will update. Wildcards are legal if the dungeon certifies kiss excellence."
Freya hissed, "Dungeon certifies."
Sofia murmured, "I hate the dungeon."
Charlotte smiled politely. "I will purchase the dungeon."
The queen sipped her tea. "You cannot buy a dungeon."
Charlotte's smile sharpened. "Watch me."
Elise stepped forward, voice sharp.
"This is getting out of control," Elise said. "Ren is not a trophy."
Yuki nodded. "Correct. He is a consent-based objective."
Elise stared at Yuki like she wanted to throw her into the fountain.
Yuki continued anyway. "Which is why, today, we introduce a new safety feature."
I groaned. "No."
Yuki smiled. "Yes."
She flipped a board around.
KISS REVALIDATION TRIAL
IF ONE CONTESTANT RECEIVES AN EXCEPTIONAL RATING,
OTHERS MAY REQUEST A REVALIDATION ATTEMPT
HERO MAY DECLINE ALL ATTEMPTS
TRY NOT TO CRY
Freya cheered. "YES."
Sofia's smirk widened. "Perfect."
Charlotte nodded politely. "Fair."
Kaori whispered, terrified, "That's… a lot…"
Rika yelled, "TRY NOT TO CRY."
Valeria snapped, "Disgusting."
Then Valeria's eyes flicked to my mouth for half a second and she looked away so fast it was basically an admission.
Vesper backed up slowly. "This city is going to eat me."
I muttered, "It eats everyone."
Yuki pointed at me like a weapon.
"Hero Ren," Yuki said, "state your boundaries for any possible revalidation attempts."
I exhaled.
"Today," I said firmly, "no revalidation. I'm not performing kisses for a scoreboard. If someone wants a micro-date, they can file it. But no kiss trials."
The crowd made disappointed noises.
Elise looked proud for half a second.
The queen nodded slightly.
Sofia's eyes narrowed, then her smirk returned like she respected the refusal.
Charlotte's smile warmed just a touch.
Freya pouted dramatically. "He's growing a spine."
Rika whispered loudly, "That's hot."
Elise snapped, "Rika."
Yuki scribbled. "Boundary noted."
Then Sofia stepped forward, hands in her pockets, voice smooth.
"Fine," Sofia said. "Then I file a jealousy claim."
Yuki's pen stopped mid-scratch. "Already."
Charlotte lifted her tea cup. "I file too."
Freya raised her hand. "I file three."
Yuki pointed. "No you don't."
Freya grinned. "Two."
Yuki pointed harder. "One."
Freya sighed. "One."
Rika shouted, "I FILE TEN."
Yuki rang the bell and shouted back, "NO."
Kaori raised her hand timidly. "I… don't want to file… but I feel… a little…"
Mira nodded. "I file for her."
Kaori squeaked, "Mira!"
The queen lifted a finger. "I file."
Valeria snapped, instantly, "I do not file anything."
Yuki flipped a page and held up a form.
VALERIA ARDENT
CLAIM TYPE: EMOTIONAL IRRITATION
Valeria's face turned bright red.
"That's not jealousy," Valeria snapped. "That's irritation."
Sofia smirked. "Jealousy with armor."
Charlotte smiled politely. "Adorable."
Freya grinned. "She's going to explode."
Valeria hissed, "SHUT UP."
Elise muttered, almost to herself, "She's definitely in love."
Valeria froze like she'd been struck.
Elise's eyes widened slightly, like she couldn't believe she'd said it out loud.
The entire harem went silent for a beat, shocked.
Then Freya burst out laughing.
Sofia's smile sharpened.
Charlotte's eyes narrowed in delighted analysis.
Rika bounced and screamed, "ELISE SAID IT."
Kaori hid her face completely.
The queen sipped her tea calmly like she'd just witnessed a confession treaty.
Valeria turned so red it looked painful.
"I AM NOT," Valeria shouted, then immediately regretted it.
Yuki rang the bell.
Ding.
"Micro-date rotation begins," Yuki announced. "One at a time. Hand-holding, short walks, calm affection. No kiss trials. Hero boundaries respected."
Vesper leaned close to me and whispered, terrified, "Ren. They're going to murder me with paperwork."
I whispered back, "Stay behind me."
Vesper blinked. "That's what people say before they die."
Before I could answer, Valeria stepped forward stiffly, glare furious, voice sharp.
"Ren," Valeria snapped, "may I have my claim resolved first."
Everyone turned.
Sofia's eyes narrowed. "Oh."
Charlotte's smile sharpened. "Bold."
Freya whispered, "She's going for priority."
The queen's gaze stayed calm, but focused.
Elise crossed her arms, watching like a judge.
Valeria swallowed visibly, cheeks burning, and added quickly, defensive as always.
"It's not because I care," she hissed. "It's because I don't want rumors."
I looked at her, then at her clenched fist, then at her eyes refusing to meet mine.
And I smiled, gentle but evil.
"Okay," I said. "Yes. Hand-holding. One walk."
Valeria's pride straightened.
Her cheeks stayed red.
She held her hand out stiffly like she was offering a sword.
I took it.
Valeria's fingers tightened around mine like she'd been holding back for days.
And behind us, Vesper made a tiny, horrified whisper.
"Oh my god."
Because the dungeon didn't just add a new contender.
It lit a fuse.