Kiara my pet dog's name. I found her when I was in elementary school. I could never forgot the day she came in my life. It was raining heavily, storm wasn't lifting up pretty soon.
I was walking home by myself under a tiny, puny, my favourite colour yellow-umbrella.
That's when I noticed an unfamiliar box with weird movements at a side of the road.
"What's that?! Why is it moving so fiercely?" I approached it cautiously. When I opened it, I found a small brown puppy poking out with a fragile body.
Untouched, beat up and covered in injuries. When she looked at me she hid her face. I couldn't tell at that time. She didn't hid her face beacuse she was afraid of me. She turned away because she thought I would reject her.
Her eyes said everything. Bullied and tormented, her whole life till now.
I was a kid so..
"Cute!! So cute! Show me your face come on!" yes, my habit of talking to animals remains from my early age. Even though I was cheerful to her she looked scared.
Afraid of giving her in my arms.
"My mom says that you will catch a cold if you stayed in rain for so long."
"Mmhmm.. What should I do? Will mom scold me for taking you in?
Mmmmm..." I gave it a thought.
"Who cares? You are coming with me!"
She went away but the box was small so she couldn't get away from my reach. I wonder if it was a handsome man, would she have given herself to him willingly or not?
I didn't care much about her appearance and grabbed the whole box with me and carried it home.
"Mom! Look what I brought with me!!"
My mom, a happy, cheerful wife, a caring mother and head of the family.
"Geez.. Why are you all wet! You took your umbrella with you, rig...?"
Her sight goes on the box..
"What's in the box?"
"Come! And take a look!" I was super excited for Mom to see it.
"So cutee!!" she exclaims as she takes her in her arms. She is more easy going and cheerful than me.
"Isn't she!? Hehe!"
"Oh my, she is covered with mud. Wash her so she doesn't catch any disease. Go take a bath! Both of you, I will give something to feed her." she always cared about everyone that's how she is.
"Okey-Dokey!"
I took her to bath as mom said.
"Come here! I'll clean you up."
But she hesitated, looked afraid and kept distance from me.
"Where are you going?" I was insensitive, so I just grabbed her and washed her. She tried to escape multiple times but I never let her escape.
"Now! Now! Who looks cuter than before!"
After bath, mom gave some food to her. She first hesitated but she had been starving for days and couldn't ignore her hunger and sneakily took a bite.
She liked it and ate it all. The bowl was cleaned in a flash.
She looked at me with dissatisfaction.
"You want more? Here take it!" she ate it like she was never gonna eat it again..
"Dad! Dad! See! What I brought home." My dad, has a scary face. He was definition of rules.
Strict and disciplined.
"How cute!! He rubbed his cheeks against the dog."
However he is weak towards cuteness.
"Say say! Can we keep it."
"Yeah! Yeah! Sure! She really is so soft." constantly caressing her fur without any thought he said.
"Really?! Yess! Thanks Dad!" this was the exact words I wanted to hear at that time.
"Dear! You didn't forget that I need to go to my father's house tomorrow and I will have to keeping visiting it for a while." My mom speaks from the kitchen.
She comes in the hall and continues -
"Also, you have work to do! Right?"
"Yeah! I remember it's really important."acting as if he wasn't enjoying playing with her.
"Then, we wouldn't be able to keep her hear!"
What! But why, I was so about to cry when she said that but she continued and said..
"Unless there is someone who can look after her." she looked at me with promising eyes.
Like a child I jumped in happiness. Wait.. but I was a child back then.
"I! I! I will take care of her!" with that tiny body of mine I took the responsibility of her.
"Have you thought about a name for her? "
Name! It is important right we will use it for her whole life, so we would need to give it a thought but I just randomly picked one out. Didn't give much thought, just blurted it out.
"Kiara!" And that's how she became a part of our family.
The vibe at that time was more than a warm-hearted hug to Kiara. Even though that was the moment that she longed for, she still backed out. Like something is holding her off. Something she is tied to, which wasn't allowing her to enjoy her freedom.
The next day I made a dog house with my Dad's help. It wasn't as good as a carpenter would do... But yeah! It was livable place.
Small, not perfect but I made sure that it is comfortable inside.
"Tada!!" It also had her name on it.
"This is your new home! Do you like it?!"
It was better than that box at least...
She didn't even looked surprised nor she flinched from her place. She just stared at it.
Suddenly she made a move and walked toward it. She sniffed and inspected it before entering..
She lied down and closed her eyes.. The level of satisfaction on her face was just trully unbelievable..!
It was the first time I saw her tensed up face muscles so relaxed.
"Wufff! Wuff!"
"You like it?"
"Wuff!" She certainly did!
I guess she wanted a place to relax, to vent out her stress, where she can't be bothered.
And that dog house became the very one..
From that day onwards, we were glued to each other like best friends. We enjoyed everything together. She became a very part of our family. For the most, she started trusting us.
I still remember how we cherished each other..
Exchanging our happiness and sadness over the years, I graduated my middle school and I was in second year of high school.
Everything was so good. I didn't entered the current phase of my life and was happy with my family with Kiara as a part of it until that cursed day appeared.
It was peaceful afternoon. I had completed my project for which I sweated more than a week. It was a science project about a robot which was programmed to answer the specific questions I entered in it. It was important because I had a lot of pressure from teachers to complete it.
Kiara was playing outside. I was hungry so I went in kitchen to eat something. What possibly could go so wrong at that time, I had no idea.
When I returned I saw Kiara in living room along with my robot shattered in pieces on the ground.
"Wh.. What?!" I losty mind completely. It was obvious to be angry. I couldn't believe my eyes what I saw that day.
"My.. My robot?!"
I didn't had to know what was the situation. Because it was obvious to my own very eyes.
"What did.. You do to it?" It was dear to me cause I invested so much time in it. I got furious and blasted on her.
"Jus.. Just get out of here..! "
Emotionally and unknowingly I said some unpleasant words to her.
I couldn't analyse the situation when I saw my effort on the ground.
In pieces.
I felt like it was for nothing
Invaluable. That's what I thought and that's what everyone would think.
"Wuff!" she had those sorry eyes at that time but it was invisible to my angry eyes.
"Didn't I say to get out? Just Go!"
She left quietly. She knew I was angry with her.
I, alone sat down for an hour, thinking about ways to rebuild it but the deadline was close...so I left it as it is and headed out to take in some fresh air.
Sad, angry, frustrated me kept thinking about the robot.
I returned home at night.
"Mom! I am back."
After a walk I realised that I overreacted and was mean to Kiara and wanted to apologise her.
"Have you seen Kiara, she isn't home yet?!" mom said looking at me.
"Hm?! Wasn't she outside?"
"No! I didn't see her outside."
I had a hunch why she didn't return. It's because, I was furious at her in the noon.
I rushed outside in search of her. I was desperate and worried.
"Kiara! Kiara!" I called her name at every turn!
"Where are you?" I checked even the small alleys, where we often walked through.
But I never found her...
Huff!
*Gulp
Where in the world are you!!?
On the way I stumbled upon a neighbour.
She was shocked after seeing me!
"Why are you here? I called your house but no one answered.."
She said suddenly.
"Auntie?! Have you seen Kiara?!"
"Umm... Yeah! At the park near the station."stuttering a bit she said.
"Oh! Thank you!"
"But.."
I gave a sigh of relief that she was seen.
I reached the park.
Infront of the park, Was she lying beacuse she was tired or was she just waiting for someone...?
Right... The dead ones always wait to be buried...
"Ki.. Kiara....?" I took her in my arms. My right arm was covered with all the blood from her back of her head.
"How...?" My hands were shaking constantly in fear and shock..
I wasn't able to hold her properly.
(Ring!!)
I thought it was a dream. I thought I would wake up after the ringing sound of the phone.
"Hello?! Where are you son!" Umm... Actually our neighbour just visited and were asking for you. Apparently, your robot... she was apologising on her son's behalf for breaking you robot. Is your robot all right....? Hello..? Have you found Kiara?.. Hello... Son...?"
Her voice faded away after I realised what I have done!
I cried silently with her in my arms.
It was my fault all the way!
She didn't do anything wrong. I am the one to blame. So why does she got the punishment?!
The loss of a loved one because of an emotional burst.
Was it really irrational? What if I had been rational and solve the problem more calmly. I hate myself for that....
After losing her my world fell apart. The punishment of self criticising me was destroying me from inside and I didn't even noticed.
No one blamed me.. But I know whose fault it is..
And from thereafter I started losing interest in anything. I just didn't give a care to think about it. The emotional impact had me losing myself slowly...
And that's how I ended up being like this..