My mommy and daddy love me very much. They tell me so everyday. And they must love me even more since they've been giving me all the things I've ever wanted, but said I couldn't have. And they've been taking me out for ice cream even though it spoils my appetite. And they tell me again and again that they love me and nothing will change that.
I don't think my mommy and daddy love each other anymore. They don't hug each other anymore. And they don't sit next to each other. They don't talk to each other without turning red and taking time to just breathe. I think my mommy and daddy are going to get a divorce and I wonder if there is anything I can do to change that.
I paint them pictures with all of us standing outside with the sun shining and a rainbow above us. They smile and congratulate me on my creativeness, but they always end with a blank stare before hugging me and walking away. I'm starting to feel like I'm the only reason they're still together.
I decide to distract myself by playing in the backyard with my favorite toys at my favorite tree. It's the one furthest from the house. It's got this cool opening at the bottom that's perfect for my guys to use as a base. I set up the good guys all around the base while the bad guys try to get inside. There's a big battle and the bad guys almost win, but the good guys...
I hear a noise and look up. There are two guys looking down at me. I don't know who they are. They ask how I'm doing and they use my full name. I tell them I don't talk to strangers. They tell me they're not strangers. In fact, my mommy and daddy asked them to come over and they just want to spend some time with me.
I don't want to spend time with these men, so I move just a little closer to the house. I wish I had a dog. A dog would be able to save me. But mommy and daddy said I wouldn't take care of it, even though I promised I would. They still said no. They said maybe I'd get a gold fish. I said you can't pet a goldfish.
The men keep trying. They tell me they know all four of my grampys' and grammys' names. They know where I go to school. They know my favorite place to eat. They know the name of my best friend. They continue to tell me all about my life, but I still don't believe them. Then they tell me about my sister and I listen.
My sister was called to heaven when she was three years old. My daddy said it was an accident. Daddy was cleaning the attic and she was with him. It was really dusty so daddy opened a window. Daddy doesn't know why she climbed on top of the windowsill, but before he could get there, she fell.
Daddy was never the same after that. He never let me near a window, even when it was closed. He'd get angry really easy and have to leave the room. If these men knew my sister then they have to be mommy's and daddy's friend, how else would they know? I stand up and leave my toys behind. I can always play with them later.
I ask their names, it's only polite. The man wearing a black shirt with a white cross says he's Alex Hedder. The man wearing a blue shirt with a yellow circle says he's Damien Altrite. They walk me through the bushes and I'm surprised that we aren't going to the house, but they're adults, they must know what they're doing.
We leave the bushes and they help me over the wooden fence which is making me think twice about this whole deal, but again, they are adults. We cross into the neighbor's backyard, it must belong to them because there's no one else around and they walk on through like they own it. What other reason could there be?
We make it to the sidewalk and they just keep walking through the street. They're halfway across the street when they notice I'm still standing on the sidewalk. They ask what I'm doing. I tell them I'm not allowed to cross the street by myself. They look a little embarrassed as they come back to my side.
I take each of their hands. I look left. I look right. I tell them it's okay to go. We cross the street while I continue to look for cars. On the other side I let go of their hands. We walk up the block and stop at a big, black car. Mister Hedder opens the passenger door for me and I climb inside. There's a booster seat waiting for me. I climb on to it and buckle myself in like a big boy.
Mister Altrite turns around and hands me an Ipad with a selection of movies ready to play. I've seen most of them, but I do find a weird one I've never heard before. I choose it and watch it while we drive away. I'm twenty minutes into the movie when the car stops. I look out the window and see very old looking houses.
I pause the movie and Mister Hedder helps me out of the car. We walk down the street and go into a building that is taller than the houses. We walk up some stairs and go into a room. It's a big room with lots of little rooms, one of which has a bed sitting on the floor. They tell me to go inside and finish my movie, they have things to do and once they're done we'll spend some time together. I sit down and play my movie as they shut the door and lock it.
I'm starting to feel like something is wrong. I look around the room. There's a window, but I don't see anything else. I sit down on the bed and play the movie. They're friends of mommy and daddy, I can trust them. The movie is kind of weird, but I like it and I watch all of it. I'm starting to get hungry.
I call out, but no one answers. I guess they must be asleep. I lay down on the bed and take a nap. I have a dream. I'm flying through the air and touching the tops of all the houses I know. I see all the other kids on the ground who point at me as I fly. I reach down and touch their hands and they can fly too.
Me and the other kids fly in the sky and touch space. We dive into the ocean and swim with all the fishes. We dig into the ground and find all the bones buried there. We find ourselves at the top of a giant, covered slide with a bright rainbow of colors. We slide down it and enjoy every minute of it.
I sniff a scent I know and fly into a forest. I find a little house with a delicious apple pie cooling on the windowsill. I put a hand to the pie and feel a hand touch mine. I look through the window and see a face coming out of the dark. It's the smiling face of my grammy. I start to cry and hug her and kiss her. She smiles and hugs me back.
I sit up in the bed and wipe the tears from my eyes. It's dark. I can't see much of anything. My stomach growls. I'm hungry. I stand up and the door opens. A man dressed all in black with a stranger's face stands there looking at me. I start to get scared. I'm ready to yell for help. I wonder if Mister Hedder and Mister Altrite are alright.
He sits down on the floor. "Hello Sebastian," he says as he reaches toward me. "There is nothing for you to fear anymore. I'm here to take you home."
Nothing to fear? I wasn't afraid until he opened the door. "Who are you?" I ask and get ready to run or fight. "What happened to Mister Hedder and Mister Altrite?"
"My name is Carl and I know your family," he tells me as he keeps his hand out. "And don't worry about Alex and Damien. They decided to take a nap."
I sit down on the bed, but don't look away. "What are my parent's names?" I ask.
"Nathan and Casandra Croswell," he says. "But what you really want to know is, do I know Sally."
"How do you know my sister?!" I shout as I jump up.
"I know a great many things," he says without being bothered by my shout. "But none of what I may say matters. The only thing that truly matters is what I must do to gain your trust."
"Are you saying that I am in control?" I ask as I put my fists on my hips.
"Effectively, yes. I will do whatever it is that you ask of me," he says as he continues to hold out his hand.
"I'm hungry," I say as I take his hand. "Let's go get a burger."
"Are you sure?" he asks as he closes his hand. "Don't you think your parents are worried about you?"
"Mommy would be cross if I return home without eating dinner," I insist as I look him in the eye.
"If it is your wish, then it is my duty to fulfill it," he replies as he stands up. "Where should we go?"
"We should go to my favorite place, the Rustic-Griller," I answer and delight in the images of delicious food bouncing in my head. "But it's closer to my home than this place."
"That's not a problem," he returns as he continues to look at me. "I borrowed the keys from Damien before he took his nap. We can go wherever you would like to."
We walk out of the room and down the same steps I took earlier. We leave the building and walk down the street where we find the van sitting. He helps me into my seat and we drive off. I'm looking out the window, but I don't know where I am and I'm starting to get scared. I breathe to calm my fears.
"What kind of music do you like?" Carl asks as he glances into the rearview mirror.
"My daddy always puts on the oldies station," I respond before singing the rest and giving the appropriate gestures. "One oh eight point nine!"
"You got it," he replies and turns the knob.
We jump into the middle of Elton John belting out "Rocket Man" and I sing along.
The further we drive the more things look familiar. I listen closely to the radio which is now playing Starship's "We Built This City" and I sing along the best I can. It's not a song that I know very well. We turn into the parking lot of my favorite place to eat. He helps me out of the car and we head to the front doors.
Together we walk into the restaurant. "Tiffany," I call out to the waitress who is walking near the entrance.
"Little Sebastian, how are you?" she asks of me as she looks warily at Carl. "Who's this with you? And where are your parents?"
"Mommy and daddy are at home," I explain as I look at her. "This is Carl. He took me out so mommy doesn't have to cook for me."
"Well aren't you just the big boy," she replies as she flashes Carl a look. "Why don't you follow me, I'll take you to your table."
We follow after her and she leads us to a table right next to the window, where we can see a dolphin themed fountain. We settle ourselves into the booth and I scootch myself around till I find a nice, comfortable spot.
"I know what you're having," Tiffany declares and swishes her way to us. "Well done burger, spot of barbecue and nothing but the bun, with a cherry cola to drink, right?"
I nod. "Yes, please," I say with a big smile on my face.
"And what will you be having, um Carl was it?" Tiffany asks and I can tell she doesn't trust him.
"I think I'll have a rare steak and a water to drink," he gives his order as he hands her the menu.
Tiffany gives a nod and walks away.
I look around the room. I love this place. There are so many things lining the wall, but it doesn't look cluttered. I'm not sure how they pull it off. I really like the family photo hanging above our table. My family with Sally included. Underneath which is a small placard that reads, 'you will be missed'.
I turn toward Carl. "Thanks for bringing me here," I say as I look into his eyes.
"You're welcome," he returns and gazes back at me.
Tiffany stops by with the drinks and hands me mine with a crazy straw. "Your food will be up shortly," she informs us and walks away.
"Who are you Carl?" I ask as I try to remember if I'd ever seen him before.
"I am someone who sees what is done in this word and does his utmost to make the coming day just a little more bearable," he answers as he looks directly into my eyes.
"Does that mean you're a good guy?" I ask and take a sip from my drink.
He smiles. "That is a loaded question for reasons you wouldn't understand," he speaks to me and drinks down his water. "The best way I can put it is I try to do right by the information I collect."
"What if you get bad information?" I press as I take another sip.
He laughs. "That's why I gather as much information as I can from as many sources as I can access," he continues and pushes his glass off to the side.
Tiffany comes back and sets our food on the table. She gives me a nod and Carl an eye before walking off.
"Have you ever done anything you wish you hadn't?" I push and pick up my burger.
He stabs at his meat. "Sometimes it feels like my life is one big regret," he says as he looks at me. "And it makes me wonder about all the things I failed to do, or had I just failed to notice?"
"I don't think there's anything wrong with your eyes," I point out and take a bite.
He laughs. "Sebastian, you have a way of hitting the nail right on the head," he remarks and fidgets as he chews on a morsel. "You're right, my eyesight was never the problem. It has always been the many things I've allowed to get in front of it."
I get ready to ask another question, but a commotion out front takes my attention. Two cops enter the restaurant with mommy and daddy just behind. They catch sight of me and though I can see they're excited, they walk calmly toward my table. I'm happy to see them and can't wait to introduce them to Carl.
I turn around. "Look Carl it's..." my words catch as I stare at an empty seat. An empty plate and cup sitting in his place.
Mommy and daddy each take turns hugging me and covering my face with kisses. I wonder why they seem so overly happy. I ask them, but they seem like they can't say anything. One of the cops looks over and under the booth. He looks to his buddy and shakes his head. The other cop starts looking around the room while the first sits down and asks us to do the same.
Mommy takes her seat first as she slides along giving me room to slide in and allow daddy to sit as well. The cop looks at me, introduces himself as officer Charles Standish and asks me to tell him what happened. I told him I went out for the day with some friends of my parents. He asks me to describe them and try my best to piece them together from memory.
He asks me where I was taken. I tell him it was a tall building in a broken down neighborhood that I did not recognize. He asks me how I escaped. Escaped? Why would I escape? I was with friends of mommy and daddy. Mommy gives me a squeeze and starts crying and I can see daddy's arm get tense, but I just don't understand why.
He asks about Carl. I tell him all I know, including the conversation we had. He asks me why I trusted these men who claimed to be friends of my parents. I tell him that they knew Sally and no one outside of our family would know who she was. This causes both mommy and daddy to hug me and they're both crying.
I ask them what's wrong. Mommy turns me toward her and tells me I was kidnapped. I tell her she must have been mistaken. No one forcibly removed me from the yard. I wasn't tied up or gagged or anything. Aren't those requirements for a kidnapping? And why were they so nice to me if they were bad guys? It just doesn't add up.
Officer Standish asks mommy and daddy how two strangers were able to gather sensitive information. Mommy says her birthday recently passed and she always posts it to her friends on social media, but only to friends. She has no idea how strangers got hold of the information. She says she must have been hacked and not known.
The police officer has a different take. He says there is a veritable treasure trove of information just waiting to be had floating all over the internet. And sometimes that information is accidentally let out by those to whom the information has been entrusted. Bottom line: we should be careful about what we put out into the world.
His partner comes around to our table with a look of confusion on his face. She says she's checked the diner top to bottom and even outside, but there is no such individual who matches my description which has been confirmed by the waitress. Officer Standish thanks us for our time and congratulates me for being so brave, but next time, should there be a next time, do not go along with any strangers that have not been personally introduced by mommy and daddy. I tell him that I will and he and his partner leave.
I'm allowed to finish my dinner before mommy and daddy take me home. All the while I think about Alex and Damien and how they treated me. They even walked me across the street. Why would they do that if they were bad guys? They did lock me in a room, but that's the only thing I can think of that would fit into the bad category.
But if they were bad, what about Carl? If I was kidnapped then that means he rescued me, right? He was a good guy, right? He took me out to get a burger, but he did disappear when the cops showed up. Don't good guys work with the cops? Why would he leave and how did he get away without anyone seeing him leave?
We pull into the driveway and leave the car. Mommy and daddy escort me into the house and we all sleep in their bed that night. After that they place restrictions on me. I'm not allowed outside without direct supervision and I'm never allowed to play in my favorite tree. And to further protect me from the outside world an invisible, security fence is installed around the yard.
Mommy and daddy stop buying me random gifts and we spend a lot more time together.
It brings us closer as a family and there isn't any talk of separation or divorce. I guess after Tammy they never believed they could lose another child. Eventually they let up and I was allowed to go places by myself.
It's been years since my abduction and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. Alone, at night, I find myself back in that room, but this time I'm in a panic. I have to focus on my breathing and bring myself under control. It's funny, the lie of what happened to me was much easier to go down than the truth.
And I think about Carl, but picturing him now I don't see a person. He's more like a phantom on my memory. This time I can control what I see and turn to face Carl before he disappeared. I see him smile and burst into a cloud of smoke and blue butterflies. Why blue butterflies? I have no idea, but it gives me peace all the same.