The sun was covered by a huge silhouette, which elongated its head to see us from above, something like a huge snake but the rest of its body looked like that of a land crab, although its skin differed quite a bit with both descriptions, as it seemed to be more like that of an insect. Whatever it was, it was hungry and there was nothing better than a warship to snack on.
The men on the port side were nothing more than simple warriors, who were overcome by this situation and could already only scream as we headed off to be the menu of that monster, which had stuck the giant stinger in the middle of the gunwale, dragging the ship along like a fisherman with his hook. Some men screamed in desperation, touching my cabin, others struggled to try to release the sting, and the most cowardly had already jumped into the sea, despite having the same tragic fate.
Was this the end of such a miserable crew, devoured by a sea beast? Of course not.
After so much fuss I finally decided to leave the captain's cabin, the sailors watched my black sword being dragged overboard as I approached forward of the bow. The beast bowed his head watching as the wind billowed my black trench coat, a few patches on it, a sign of my battles, and great style. My black hair contrasted perfectly with the beast, but my gaze showed only absolute boredom, as if before leaving the cabin I had determined the outcome of this encounter.
"Divine sword. . . "
I whispered softly as a warning, though the creature was not capable of understanding, its abrupt movement to attack, made me realize that even that might know. This, was its end.
"Divine cut! "
Then the beast's piercing scream stopped dead in its tracks, at the same time a shrill sound was produced; as if a giant balloon was abruptly punctured. And only those more suspicious could see the slight movement of my sword, having only inches away from the beast.
By the time I decided to turn around, the beast's head left its neck and fell to port, while the rest of the body was reclaimed by the sea. Raising a great splash, and perplexing those brave enough to stand by and watch. It was seconds, nay perhaps minutes before the first one began to speak.
"Sh-she kill... She killed the monster! She really killed it!"
The crewmen quickly approached, and of course they would, save their lives, it was no less. And it showed with the multiple thanks and aggravations towards my person. Although for me, it was just one more in my innumerable list of feats, but I would be lying if I said that all those compliments made me feel really special.
---
We arrived at the port days after killing "Lord Saffty", strange name for a monster, in my opinion. Like all places in this world its architecture was very rudimentary, the buildings were mostly made of wood and only the big cities had a more ivory and stone tone. Landing was no exception; its houses were made of wood and only a few reinforced with cement; the clothing of the citizens was simple, simple fabrics made of furs, though with a silk feel; the locals spoke a kind of English mixed with Russian, though it no longer seemed strange to me; if I had to compare with something from my world, I would say it was all very medieval.
On the other hand, my faithful sailors still graced me with their company, even when I gave them the order to move away if that's what they wanted. Although I didn't get bored of their flattery and constant flirting, I couldn't help but wonder when they would stop, I really couldn't believe they were alive, well, if I'm honest I didn't believe I had saved them either. Even after months here, even I couldn't be sure that this world was real.
As we walked through the port, I noticed in the distance a girl watching me behind some barrels. Noticing my gaze she immediately hid herself, definitely, strange....
"Welcome, Lady Tania!"
A young man spoke to me interrupting my walk; his face was soft and kept a smile that made his dimples stand out, his bearing was a simple white robe with golden details. No doubt he was the guy I was supposed to meet, a regent of the church.
"Is that Regent Logan?"
I asked in a firm tone, I wanted to show my might, especially in the face of that look. I didn't dislike his appearance; he actually seemed to be my age, but that look I would recognize it wherever I went; it was like seeing someone deeply dead inside, maybe he reminded me a lot of my past life, and that's why I disliked him.
"Yes, that's right... Come with me, we have prepared a party after your achievement. Lord Saffty's defeat came before you, in the village they do not stop talking; that the great heroine defeated the beast with a single slash of her sword. You don't know how many have died under the edge of your claws, the people should be grateful for what you have done."
Grateful. Maybe his look was creepy, but his words gave an indescribable feeling to my mind and soul, the warmth of being someone here, of truly helping. But of course, I had to maintain an image so I just nodded, reserving my arrogant comments in the face of my such amazing prowess.
---
The regent on the drive over talked to me quite a bit about, how cheerful the church and the town of Riffty was. It seemed strange to me that no one would approach me despite the man's words. I guess they were celebrating in silence now, anyway, it's not like I want to be honored in every town I go to, if I've learned anything since I arrived it's that the people in this world, usually celebrate in silence. The customs are not like my world, but it wouldn't bother me at all either, to be asked to pose for a handmade statue, some record should be left of my glory.
In my world, I used to live with my parents in a small house in Medellin. I was an only child so there was no competition for their affection, much less the rush to leave the nest, even though I was old enough to do so years ago. I must admit that I feel bad for having taken advantage of their affection to avoid leaving home and living as an outcast in society. I want to believe that now I do deserve all these compliments and possibly enjoy this banquet.
"That's your seat, although the people are excited we have heard that you are quite reserved and unassuming, so we have asked them to relax, only you and the crew are invited. I hope this celebration lives up to the heroine invoked by the goddess!"
It certainly was, although the goddess they mentioned so much was a mystery to me. I had understood that; her name was *Order;* that she had blessed me with the gift to defeat the bad guys and that I was a heroine summoned by her; though to date I didn't know what any of that meant. True, I was defeating monsters in her name, but my goal was mainly to build a name for myself. And by the looks of it, that throne cast in iron and decorated among swords, was a sign that I had been achieving it.
I must admit that all this attention, I liked and did not care about the rest of the details about my arrival. Just looking at the party made me numb any unnecessary thoughts. The wine was the highlight of the feast; it tasted so sweet that I had another five glasses. My crew smiled at the sight of me in such high spirits to feast, but the reason was in the melancholy of its taste.
The drink was sweet, so sweet that it transported me to a bitter memory of my own childhood. When I was only twelve years old, I suffered from bullying, the story is not particularly tragic. New girl enters school, is overweight and is constantly teased about it. Nothing special, nothing different, something that was bound to happen. I tried to cope, I thought by joining in the teasing I could make them no longer special, but normalizing the insults towards me only made them more cruel, more hurtful, I guess all I did was go with the flow because it was so much better than just being the tease.
I got to the point where I started constantly telling myself that it was my fault for being this way, I even tried to stop eating to change who I was. Then my health got worse, and it didn't take my parents long to realize what was going on, my mother had to go to my high school to talk to my classmates, exclaiming that despite my condition they had no right to make fun of me. What neither she nor I expected was that the teasing would indeed stop, but so would any direct interaction with me. A silence more painful than the laughter.
Poom! A thunderous shout of singing and laughter ripped me from the memory. The men lifted my seat with a standing ovation; their words unintelligible through the liquor. Five drunken men shouting my name in unison, at least as far as I understood from their babbling. They all seemed to be toasting and eating to my name, but there was something that didn't throw me off and it was that look in the distance; I could see out the window and the streets seemed to be empty outside this enclosure. I was about to comment on it but then, as expected, the drunken men dropped my chair and I ended up falling straight onto the banquet. There was a moment of silence, but soon the laughter erupted, not to laugh at me, but at the embarrassing situation.
"Hey, don't laugh, I'm your hero!"
At some point in my life this would have been humiliating, but I was on the same page as those close to me and soon their laughter became my own. Unbelievable, that my former self, perhaps I would have pretended. This mutual understanding, I would have loved to have had back then; when my classmates used to ignore me in every class, in every activity, at every little opportunity, which caused a direct conversation with my teacher on duty. And although I, expected compression, the only thing that came out of her lips was "You should try to talk to your classmates and apologize to them".
Was I supposed to apologize to them? It wasn't my fault, that they all hated me, I wasn't the one who chose to be like this, how could it be my fault? None of them really knew me, they didn't know about my problems, they didn't know about my history or me, they had no right to hate me, I didn't deserve any of it, but somehow; they made me believe that I did earn it. Even now.
At times my gaze would sink into that bitter memory, but as I looked at the wine; the regent approached my seat with another bottle. Placing another wine right next to the collection of drinks ingested tonight, and snapping me out of my melancholy with a few simple words.
"The great heroine, monster hunter. I never thought her weakness would be liquor."
His comment was accompanied by an ironic, almost mocking tone. Contrary to the rest, this man was the only one in this room who certainly produced me; jealousy, but his status in the church did not allow me to push him away; the church, those chosen by the goddess to guide the summoned; and the summoned, those chosen by the goddess to save this world; this was all ridiculously similar to that Japanese genre of fantasy, I suppose there is some truth hidden in fiction, and vice versa.
"Even in my current state, I am able to swing my sword."
My words made my company let out a small laugh, he seemed comfortable with threats. Maybe it was the excess of liquor, or that I only lived with middle aged men since I arrived, but shit, his smile was charming and from the disdainful hands he had, I could sense he was a grown man.
"I don't doubt it, if you really defeated Saffty you must be very fast and accurate."
His words were music to my ears, perhaps they were all very flattering or this man truly saw me as the magnificent heroine I was.
"No need to be precise, that thing was very slow."
It was fleeting, but when I mentioned the beast I felt a slight grudge. He might be disappointed at how quickly I killed it, or did the villagers revere the monster?
"I understand... I never met him, but I had hoped he would put up more of a fight against the great heroine. But hearing her achievement, I understood, she is really strong and charming if I may add."
Perhaps the man was more than just a flatterer, he certainly began to seem charming to me. I guess it was natural for men to approach me, something inevitable because of my accomplishments. It was the first time, that the rest of me didn't matter, only what they knew about me.
It's true that I had already been in a place where my appearance no longer mattered, but back then the damage was done, I would walk away from people as soon as they tried to engage me in a relationship. I swear to God, I wanted to have friends, bring girls over to the house to talk, sneak out to a party or meet a guy and fall in love, but I couldn't. I really dreaded the idea of getting into a relationship. I was really terrified of the idea of any kind of bond, my only refuge was in my computer, multiple games were the ones that satiated my boredom before the internal confinement that I gave myself. But now, just by entering this room, it was enough for everyone to want to be part of my small social circle, no doubt the regent reminded me how lucky I was.
"Is it me, or is he trying to flirt with the heroine...I don't mind, but I was hoping for more subtlety."
I was trying to play along, why not, I wasn't ugly, just intimidating, and being honest I was better than the sailors and monks. Although my tone was coarse and I would hardly call that a flirtation, but it was something.
"It's hard to be in the eye of your crew."
He was right, well, even though they were drunk I didn't want to cheat on my little harem right in front of them. So I grabbed a few drinks and a bottle, signaling to leave the back door, sure they would notice after a while of my absence, but it was better than letting them see my possible infidelity.
---
We managed to escape through the window, like any thief. It wasn't something a heroine would do, but being a little me didn't feel so bad next to the regent. Who seemed to behave less formally now that it was just the two of us, walking the streets of this small fishing village. I should have wondered how he was able to jump out of a window, but it wasn't right for my first impromptu date.
The truth was I wasn't sure which way to go, but he advanced with such confidence that it made it inevitable to follow him without question. I may be stronger than him, but he took control of the situation naturally, or maybe I was the one living under the illusion that I possessed some sort of leadership. Whatever the situation, I had to take back control in this little chat.
"Well... Regent Logan, do you want to know about the time I managed to defeat a..."
I was interrupted when he turned around to look at me, staring that vacant stare into my eyes. It was almost abrupt and hypnotic.
"That was enough about "The Great Heroine", now I want to know more about... Tania."
His words slowly softened as he spoke, like a gentle invitation to talk about me. He seemed to be making an effort too, to keep this conversation going, so there was nothing to do but reciprocate his invitation, to talk about me.
"Oh...And what do you want to know?"
It was somewhat ambiguous, but it was an invitation to know where this talk would go.
"What were you doing before you got here?"
So we would take the emotional connection route. What did I do before? The answer would surely disappoint him; the events of my childhood led me to isolate myself all my life, my only refuge was fantasy, I didn't dream of being a princess or having a knight rescue me, my ideal was; to be like that lonely hero in the novels, a man with an innate but selfless talent, who although his life was marked by loneliness, in his path; everyone who met him would love or adore him. And although I could not tell him my whole life, I was sincere with my words.
"I was nobody important, I think that's what made it so easy for me to adapt to this world."
He looked calm, as if my answer had been very predictable. I assumed he saw beyond what I told him, and even gave me a little space before continuing.
"I see... So... Why did you choose to be a heroine?"
The rest of the people were asking me what it felt like to be blessed by the goddess, or what my abilities were; it's not like I was able to answer those questions, but I had gotten used to people assuming, that my reasons for being a hero, were totally altruistic. But this guy, without even talking to me for more than a few minutes, cracked the riddle of my selfishness and unmasked me. Was my mask that predictable?
"Because only the strongest heroes, never lose."
My response was direct, I hoped that just as he had, he would decipher this message. That he would see past the facade of the bored heroine, and notice Tania; the scared woman who just wanted to be recognized.
At that moment, he didn't answer or say more, leaving me, the mighty swordswoman, wanting his answer, making her look like a schoolgirl eager for some male affection. I admit, that intrigue in the silence only made him look more attractive, and I couldn't help but continue by his side, no matter where it would take me.
---
Minutes passed, and the walk extended to outside the fishing village. There were some trees around but the path was still moonlit, and although we didn't exchange words again I desperately sought to get a little closer to this intriguing stranger, no matter if it was the liquor, I also wanted to keep talking to this guy.
I was sure he could sense my intrigue for his person, but he still seemed to be walking silently towards an inn in the distance. Wait, an inn? I actually thought we connected on a deep level, but even for me to start this very night with that kind of act...it was too soon, even for a desperate one for me. It was one thing to joke about having a harem, and another to be lustful enough to give in on the first night.
My nerves caused some sultry thoughts to come into my head, and they were soon reflected in my cheeks.
"Relax, there's just something I want to show you."
Really? He didn't even turn to look at me how could he tell I was nervous? How unfortunately attentive he could be, even if what he says is a lie how easy it would be to fall into his clutches.
I decided, no matter what he wanted, I would follow him until he showed me whatever it was he wanted to show me. I suppose, after years of loneliness, it's normal to give in to such a direct bond. But when he finally opened the door, I didn't expect to find a small shrine, or rather a tomb.
"Logan... What is this place?"
I asked confused at the scene. Clearly I knew it was some sort of altar to a dead man; it was decorated with blue flowers, very common at sea perhaps from a few days ago; a simple but strangely familiar hooked reed; and finally, a painting of what looked like a sailor or a warrior, though I was completely unaware of his face. Was the regent planning to show me his father's grave? Or was he another hero in town who died at the hands of...?
"Lord Saffty..."
I whispered that name without realizing it, for some reason the name of the beast came to my lips without even thinking about it. And strangely enough that ended up crumbling Logan's mask. Letting out a bitter sigh, as he passed by my side entering the tomb and approaching in front of the image of the deceased. My acquired instincts, gave no sign of danger, no warning of any kind, but my experience told me to run, to flee immediately. No, wait, I am a warrior now, if this was some kind of test I would not step back.
Although the silence was lived, and the tension began to shoot before both of us, the young man's voice remained absent. Looking wistfully at the image of the deceased, and turning to look at me with that gaze that penetrated my soul.
"Tania... Have you ever wondered... Where do the monsters you speak of come from, those who are the source of your achievements?"
Her question was out of the blue, the truth only limiting me to grasp the handle of the sword at my waist. The initial distrust, suddenly returned, no, wait it was more than that. The simple fact of answering felt... illogical.
"Or do you... Do you already know?" he continued speaking.
Who was it, and what did all these questions mean? The lump in my throat tightened, and I began to lose control of my emotions.
"Know what!"
I asked upset. I didn't even know why I was, I just had a feeling that the answer would crumble everything. And from her expression so dry and disinterested, I knew right away that my fears were true, the moment I opened my mouth, I would destroy everything.
I was scared, once... a few simple words, turned me into that scared girl to listen to.
"Monsters, they don't really exist..."
Simple, plain, and fleeting. That's how the whole world I built fell apart so easily. And deep down inside... I knew it, I just decided to ignore it to keep up this facade. Because if the monsters didn't exist, it meant that I had no business being here, it meant that just like in the other world I had no purpose, that no matter the place; I was worthless.
"The church has lied to you... you have been doing their dirty work and murdering those who oppose them..."
My sword wavered, my gaze freezing. The last gasp of hope left my body, and every word, every fucking word shattered my world, making me wish I had died instead of coming into this world. Because then...because then I wouldn't just be a murderer.
Silence echoed in the place, the regent; if he was the regent; had already said it all, and was clearly just waiting for my response.
'I lost' was the only clear thought I had, it was the only thing that mattered to me... and yet... and yet... I answered.
"Who the fuck...who the fuck are you to tell me what the right thing to do is!!!?"
A high-pitched ringing filled my ears. The room tilted. No. No. NO. This couldn't be it. This was my everything, my one triumph, the first time I...was someone.
"I saved those people!"
A sudden, embarrassing heat rushed up my neck. It wasn't fear. It was anger. A familiar, seething anger, the same anger I felt when the laughter fell silent in my wake. Them. Always them, trying to take away what little I had, to tell me I didn't deserve this or that.
My hand closed tightly around the handle of the sword. The coldness of the metal was a relief. An anchor. Here, at least here, I was in control. Here, the rules were mine to make. 'No,' I thought, and the thought was one of bitter, utter relief.
"I'm not going to listen to you. I'm not going to be anyone again."
I embraced this lie, because no matter what I did, I couldn't undo my sins. I would no longer be that scared girl of the world, it was time to even if it was fake, forge my own path.
On the other hand; the man watched me with that cold stare, no surprise at my words, as if he was already expecting my cowardly decision, it was no longer time to take it back... This time, I was choosing to be a somebody.
"Divine sword, divi..."
My sentence was abruptly interrupted, as I had my target, the person I intended to kill, right in front of me, bringing his weapon close to my throat.
Then I felt it, there was no clang, no words, not even a visible movement, I just felt the cold metal cut woven through fabric my neck. It was so slow but so painful, I expected to see my life before my eyes, but all I saw was that overbearing stare. That second, that damned second stretched as long as it could, as if I was paying for the sin of my ignorance by feeling the luxury of detail of this moment; in which my head was removed from my neck. Move, I thought, do something, it can't end so fast, I still haven't achieved what I wanted, I still haven't taken advantage of this second chance as I would like.
After that, my head soon fell to the ground, and soon my body kept it company. I'm sure, I felt my body slowly dying, but as my consciousness faded into oblivion, I could hear it.
"I showed you the truth... but you were just like the rest."
His voice, his damned voice harbored neither hatred nor rancor it was: cold, direct, and without a hint of empathy. Maybe I was the real monster, who murdered other heroes to have a name. However, that man, who felt nothing when he killed me, who in his eyes meant nothing... Then I understood... maybe monsters didn't exist, but that guy... was the incarnation of evil in this world.