What do you know about faith? Because for me, I was so sure- so sure- that I was a non-believer before my awakening day. So to find myself standing before a giant tree hovering above the ocean? Yeah. Terrifying. It meant they were real.
What if I drown?That was the mantra I couldn't shut down. I actually can't swim even in my subconscious.
And then, just like that, I heard a voice from the tree.Not a gust of wind.Not a bolt of lightning.Just a tired old grandma talking:
"Well, keep on doubting yourself until we fall and drown with no ability to swim back up again."
That scared the life out of me.
First, the voice was way too casual to belong to a God.Second, it was very feminine- and very old.Third? A snake with two heads slid down from the branches.
At that time, all I could think about was, if that was the heaven, the high priest was raving about . It looked sad.
"It's your kind of heaven, darling," said one head. Its tone was smooth, teasing. "Which is surprising, because we both know how much you hate being on the edge of facing your fears.""Me included," the other head added.
"Are… are you God?" I asked. My voice shook. Dumb question, maybe, but I had just watched a two-headed snake-woman descend from a floating tree.
"You wanted a God who looks like a snake with two heads, stranded in the middle of the ocean? That's interesting," one head said, dripping sarcasm.Who is sarcastic at a time like this? In my defense, I'd never seen her pictures- our scriptures are dramatic at best and misleading at worst.
"We don't have eternity, sugar," the other head said, impatience curling through her voice. "Ask me your question."
My mind went blank.
"Breathe, little one. You're safe here… with me," the other head soothed. And then her cool body wrapped around my overheated skin, calming me instantly. "I know what it feels like to have empty spaces filling you up inside."
"Who are you?" I asked, genuinely impressed- and a little too comfortable.
"I'm anything to anyone, dear," one head replied, nudging me gently to relax in her embrace. "But in here? I'm your faithful mirror."
"Am I… a snake?" I asked, confused.
Both heads laughed in perfect sync. And for the first time in forever, I wasn't thinking. Or overthinking. I just was.
"No, darling," one head said kindly. "It means you're trying to see yourself through me."
"Go on," the other said. "Ask your question."
So I asked the first thing that came to mind."Why was I born?"
Both heads regarded me seriously.
"Why do you want to know, Mary?" they asked together, and I squirmed under their gaze.
"I just want my life to make sense," I admitted. "Even once."
"Does it make sense to you now?" they asked in sync.
I froze. Everything around me was bizarre- floating trees, talking serpents, divine sarcasm... Yet somehow, I was at peace.
"Please," I whispered. "Hide me here. Forever."
Both heads laughed at that."What about your wish?" one asked.
At that moment, it didn't even matter.
"So," she prodded gently. "What's it going to be?"
I gave in. "I wish to disappear."
"Are you sure, little one?" both heads asked. Their voices were suddenly solemn. "When I grant a wish, I never take it back. Can you live with that consequence for eternity?"
"Yes," I said. Even though I wasn't sure at all.
"It shall be done," one head declared. "No take-backsies."
A laugh escaped me- unexpected, soft, relieved.Imagine that.I met a God, and she wasn't so bad.
"Remember, little one," she said as her form faded. "I'm anything to anyone… but a mirror to you."
And then she disappeared-taking my comfort with her.