The noise was getting closer.
Renn would recognize that sound anywhere: the irregular splashing through the swamp water, the snapping of branches being pushed aside with too much confidence, and that specific chittering he had learned to associate with public humiliation.
"It can't be," he muttered, feeling a cold sweat run down his back. "Not again."
Valeria, still in her purple feline form, tilted her head with curiosity.
"What exactly is approaching?" she asked with that melodious voice that didn't match her current size at all.
"My nemesis," Renn said grimly. "The raccoon that destroyed my dignity six months ago."
"A... raccoon?" Valeria sounded genuinely confused. "A small to medium-sized omnivorous mammal?"
"Not just any raccoon. THE raccoon. The one that defeated me and ruined my reputation."
Princess Lysandra, still lying in her lazy royal position, meowed once. It sounded suspiciously like laughter.
"Her Highness finds that... entertaining," Valeria translated diplomatically.
The noise got louder, and then the creature emerged from between the rotting trees.
It was the same raccoon, although somehow it looked fatter and more arrogant than before. It had probably been eating well thanks to its fame as "the raccoon that defeated a Lord." It was carrying what looked like a piece of mushroom in one paw, and when it saw Renn, it stopped.
Their eyes met. The raccoon dropped the mushroom.
It chittered aggressively, pointing at Renn with an accusing paw as if saying: "YOU, the idiot who lost to me."
"Okay," Renn said, taking a deep breath. "This time will be different. This time I have..."
He didn't finish the sentence because Valeria moved. She simply raised a paw and waved it casually in the raccoon's direction.
The air around her paw distorted for a fraction of a second.
The raccoon exploded.
Well, "exploded" was an exaggeration. Rather, it was suddenly no longer there, replaced by a small pile of light particles that scattered in the swamp breeze. All that remained was the piece of mushroom floating in the green water.
Renn blinked.
"What... what did you just do?"
"I eliminated the threat," Valeria replied with the same casualness with which someone would say "I closed the door." "Basic dimensional displacement technique. Pretty standard."
"STANDARD?" Renn's voice went up three octaves. "You literally made a raccoon disappear with a wave of your paw!"
"Yes. Was it important to you?"
"That thing humiliated me for months! Six months! And you just... you...!" He gestured vaguely toward where the raccoon had been. "In two seconds!"
Valeria looked at him with those golden eyes that seemed to be cataloging exactly how pathetic he was.
"I understand," she said finally. "I apologize for solving your problem so efficiently. Next time I will allow you to fight first."
"That's not... That isn't... Ugh." Renn rubbed his temples. "You know what? Forget it. Thanks for saving my pride... again."
"You are welcome, Substitute Lord."
The title made Renn wince. Technically it was true, but it still hurt to hear it out loud.
Princess Lysandra meowed, a sound that was definitely approval for Valeria's work.
"Her Highness is satisfied with my performance," Valeria translated, though it seemed unnecessary given the context.
"Great. Everyone is happy except me." Renn sighed, looking around his depressing swamp territory. "So, what are we supposed to do now? It's not like I have a manual on 'How to Be a Lord When Your Pet Is Your Boss'."
Valeria stood still for a moment, her feline ears twitching slightly.
"To interact more efficiently and evaluate this territory properly," she said, "it would be beneficial for me to adopt a more... practical form."
"More practical than a purple cat?"
"Considerably."
Before Renn could ask what that meant, Valeria jumped from the swampy ground and landed on a small dry mound near the troop tower. Then, without any ceremony, her body began to glow with that same golden light that had accompanied her summons.
The light intensified until it was almost blinding, and Renn had to cover his eyes. When it finally dissipated, he blinked rapidly, trying to focus his vision. And then he went completely still.
Where the purple cat had been, there was now a woman. An extremely attractive woman.
Valeria stood approximately five feet seven, with a figure that made the purple crystalline armor she wore look like it had been forged specifically for her, which was probably the case. Her dark purple hair fell in waves to the middle of her back, with some strands floating gently around her face as if an invisible breeze were moving them. Her eyes were still golden, but now they had vertical pupils that reminded him of her feline nature. The armor covered the important parts but left enough skin exposed to suggest she didn't need much protection, probably because she could disintegrate threats with casual gestures.
The purple crystals of her armor glowed faintly, and there were small fragments floating around her like miniature satellites. Behind her back, what appeared to be ethereal wings made of crystalline energy extended partially, not solid enough to fly but present enough to look impressive.
She was, objectively speaking, the most beautiful woman Renn had ever seen in his life.
"This form should be more efficient for our purposes," Valeria said, her voice now more resonant but maintaining that melodious quality. "Is there a problem, Substitute Lord?"
Renn realized he had been staring with his mouth open. He closed it quickly.
"I... You... How...?" He tried to form a coherent sentence. "A cat can do THAT?"
"Members of the Celestial Court possess multiple forms," Valeria explained, walking toward him with steps that were somehow graceful even in the swamp mud. "The feline form is useful for reconnaissance and infiltration. This form is more practical for direct combat and... other tasks."
"Other tasks," Renn repeated weakly, trying very hard to keep his eyes on her face and not on the other parts of her anatomy that the armor didn't completely cover.
"Yes. For example, territorial inspection requires a certain manual dexterity that paws do not facilitate."
She had a point. But Renn was pretty sure she could have adopted a form that didn't distract him so much.
Princess Lysandra meowed, a sound that was definitely amusement at his expense.
"Her Highness suggests you close your mouth before bugs fly in," Valeria translated with what might have been a small smile.
Renn closed his mouth with an audible click.
"Okay," he said, trying to regain some dignity. "Human form. Makes sense. Totally practical. Nothing weird here."
"I am glad you understand." Valeria pulled something out of the air; she literally seemed to materialize an object from nothing. It was a holographic tablet similar to Renn's bracelet but more elaborate. "Now, let us begin the territorial evaluation."
She began walking around the immediate area of the tower, her fingers gliding over the holographic screen with professional efficiency. Renn followed her, trying to focus on what she was doing and not on how her hair moved, or how the crystals of her armor reflected the light, or how she occasionally bent down to examine something and...
A sharp scratch on his hand made him yelp.
"Ouch!" He looked down. Princess Lysandra, who had been resting in his arms this whole time without him noticing, was looking at him with clear disgust. "What was that for?"
Another scratch, this time on his other hand.
"Her Highness requires you to maintain proper focus," Valeria said without looking up from her tablet. "Territorial evaluations are serious matters."
"I wasn't unfocused!"
Princess Lysandra looked at him with an expression that clearly said yes, you were, and we all know it.
Valeria finally looked up, and there was definitely amusement in those golden eyes.
"I understand that my current form may be... distracting for someone with your hormonal levels," she said with complete professional seriousness that somehow made it worse. "However, I must insist that you maintain your composure."
"My levels... I'm not..." Renn stopped, took a deep breath, and decided that dignity was a lost cause anyway. "Okay. Yes. You are incredibly attractive and it is very hard to concentrate. Happy?"
"Not particularly. But I appreciate the honesty."
She continued her inspection, moving with an efficiency that suggested centuries of experience in exactly this type of task. Renn followed her, now making a conscious effort to look anywhere other than at her, which resulted in him tripping over roots twice.
"The soil has medium-level mana contamination," Valeria murmured, crouching down to touch the swamp water. She immediately withdrew her hand with an expression of disgust. "And... other less identifiable substances."
"Yeah, the swamp is gross. Tell me something I don't know."
"The troop tower is in acceptable condition, though underutilized." Her fingers danced over the tablet. "The dimensional barrier is stable but weak. Any entity of Epic level or higher could penetrate it effortlessly."
"Is that bad?"
"Extremely."
"Great."
Valeria continued her inspection for several more minutes, making notes and occasionally making faces at what she found. Finally, she stopped in front of Renn with an expression that somehow managed to be professional and compassionate at the same time.
"Substitute Lord," she said formally, "I need to ask you some questions about your knowledge of the Endless World and its systems."
"Questions? Like a test?"
"More like a competency assessment. To determine which areas require... additional education."
"So basically a test to see how ignorant I am."
"If you prefer to see it that way."
Renn sighed. "Go ahead. It can't be worse than the actual exams at the academy."
Valeria nodded and consulted her tablet.
"First question: What event caused the creation of the Endless World?"
"That's easy," Renn said, feeling somewhat more confident. "The Great Collapse. Exactly ten thousand years ago, multiple dimensions merged violently into a single chaotic plane. No one knows exactly what caused it, but theories range from dimensional war to failed magical experiment."
"Correct. Main consequences?"
"Dimensional scarcity. The original worlds became sterile wastelands because the Collapse absorbed almost all their natural resources. That's why we need the Endless World now; it is literally the only viable source of resources to maintain our civilizations."
Valeria nodded, making a note.
"And the Lord Bracelets?"
"Crystallization of the power of the Collapse," Renn replied, touching his own bracelet. "The energy that caused the dimensional merger condensed into these devices. They give you access to the Lord system, allow you to claim territory, summon troops, and basically function as your survival license. Everyone is born with one... Practically."
"And...?"
"Every six months, every Lord must deliver specific resources to their racial faction: ten tons of fertile soil, five thousand liters of pure water, one thousand kilos of crops, and five hundred cubic meters of wood. Non-compliance results in devastating fines or total expulsion from the system."
"Consequences of expulsion?"
Renn paused, his expression turning grim.
"Death. Not immediate, but inevitable. Without access to the Endless World, you can't obtain resources. Without resources, your faction abandons you. Without a faction, you have no protection against the other races that would happily eliminate you to reduce competition."
Valeria looked at him with something that might have been respect.
"You understand the stakes," she observed. "That is better than many novice Lords."
"It's hard not to understand them when you've been on the edge of failure for two years," Renn muttered.
"Troop hierarchy," Valeria continued. "From memory."
Renn took a deep breath.
"Common, one hundred points: basic soldiers, useful for simple tasks. Uncommon, two hundred fifty points: trained warriors, can handle standard combat. Rare, five hundred points: military elite, significantly more dangerous. Epic, one thousand points: legendary heroes, can turn battles on their own."
"Continue."
"Legendary, two thousand five hundred points: mythical beings with supernatural abilities. Mythical, five thousand: ancestral entities that most Lords will never see. Ancestral, ten thousand: primordial forces. Divine, twenty-five thousand: near-celestial power. Celestial, fifty thousand: dimensional transcendence."
"And the highest level?"
"Omnipotent. One hundred thousand points. Absolute dominion." Renn paused. "Theoretically. No one has confirmed that troops of that level actually exist."
Valeria tilted her head, a small smile playing on her lips.
"No one?"
Something in her tone made Renn look at her with growing suspicion.
"You...?"
"I am classified as Celestial," Valeria said casually, as if she were discussing the weather. "Fifty thousand power points. Her Highness is... considerably higher."
Renn felt his brain short-circuit again.
"Wait. Wait." He grabbed his head. "Are you telling me that my cat, sorry, the Princess, is an Omnipotent level troop?"
"Her Highness is not a 'troop'," Valeria corrected with a tone suggesting that was an important distinction. "She is dimensional royalty. Her power exceeds standard classifications."
"Of course it does," Renn muttered. "Because my life couldn't just be weird, it had to be completely absurd."
Princess Lysandra purred, a sound that somehow communicated satisfaction at his existential crisis.
"Moving on," Valeria said, consulting her tablet again. "Do you understand the political structure of the Endless World?"
"Basically, it's organized anarchy," Renn replied. "There are zones controlled by different racial factions: humans, elves, dwarves, demons, celestials, and probably a dozen more I don't even know exist. Each faction has its own central territories that are heavily defended."
"Neutral zones?"
"Neutral cities where different races can trade without killing each other... most of the time. The most famous is Crossroads, a massive city in the center of the Endless World that was supposedly built over a dimensional merger point. No one controls it completely, which is both its strength and its greatest weakness."
"Have you visited any?"
"No." Renn shook his head. "Academy students technically can't leave our assigned territories without supervision until we graduate. And considering I can barely maintain MY territory, I haven't exactly had tourism opportunities."
Valeria made another note, her expression neutral but her eyes showing she was processing this information carefully.
"Do you understand the different categories of Lord?"
"There are three main ones," Renn said, counting on his fingers. "Combat Lords, who focus on offensive troops and territorial conquest. Support Lords, who specialize in resource production and economy. And Strategy Lords, who are some kind of hybrid and supposedly the most versatile."
"And you?"
"Officially, I am classified as a Support Lord because my territory has potential for resource production... eventually... if I manage to get anything to grow in this accursed swamp." He paused. "Unofficially, I am classified as 'that poor idiot who lost to a raccoon'."
"Not anymore," Valeria pointed out. "That raccoon has been eliminated."
"Yeah, but you eliminated it, not me. Which probably will only reinforce my reputation as useless."
Princess Lysandra meowed, a sound that was definitely disapproval.
"Her Highness says that excessive self-depreciation is unattractive in men," Valeria translated. "And that if you are going to serve as her Substitute Lord, you need to at least fake confidence."
"Fake confidence. Sure. Because that won't go wrong eventually."
Valeria put away her tablet and crossed her arms, an action that unfortunately drew Renn's attention to parts of her anatomy he was trying to ignore. Another scratch from Princess Lysandra made him focus quickly on her face.
"Your theoretical knowledge is adequate," Valeria said finally. "Which is surprising given your... track record."
"Eldridge Academy has good professors," Renn defended. "The problem was never learning the theory. The problem was putting it into practice."
"And why do you believe you have had difficulties?"
It was a simple question, but Renn felt the weight behind it. It wasn't just curiosity; Valeria was genuinely trying to understand his situation.
"Honestly," he said slowly, "I think it's a combination of bad luck and worse timing. My territory is horrible, my summons never worked, and every time I tried something different, the universe decided to remind me that I am basically its favorite stress toy."
"Nothing else?"
"What else could there be?"
Valeria looked at him with those golden eyes that seemed to see more than what he was saying.
"Fear," she said simply. "Fear of failure has become an expectation of failure. Your mind is so conditioned to lose that you subconsciously sabotage your own efforts."
Renn opened his mouth to protest, then closed it. Because she was right, and they both knew it.
"So, what am I supposed to do?" he asked finally. "Just decide to have confidence? Pretend the last two years didn't happen?"
"No." Valeria shook her head. "Acknowledge the past, learn from it, and then let it go. Failure only defines your future if you allow it to."
"That sounds like something they would say on a motivational poster."
"Clichés are clichés because they are generally true."
Princess Lysandra meowed her agreement.
"Besides," Valeria added, a small glint of humor entering her voice, "now you have advantages that other Lords do not possess."
"Like a bodyguard who can eliminate enemies with casual gestures?"
"Exactly. And advice from dimensional royalty."
"Advice that comes in the form of meows I need you to translate."
"Minor details."
Renn couldn't help it; he laughed. It was a ridiculous situation: standing in a depressing swamp, being lectured on confidence by an assassin cat in the form of an incredibly attractive woman, while his royal boss purred approval in his arms. His life had become completely absurd.
But maybe, just maybe, that wasn't a bad thing.
"Okay," he said finally. "I guess if I'm going to do this, I should do it properly. What do you suggest we do first?"
Valeria smiled, and it was the first genuinely warm expression she had shown.
"First, we need to improve your territorial defenses. This barrier wouldn't stop a determined slime."
"Slimes aren't determined. They are literally gelatinous blobs."
"The point stands. Second, we need to evaluate your current resources and create a realistic production plan. Third..." she hesitated. "We need to talk about your first quota."
Renn felt his stomach sink.
"How much time do I have?"
"According to your bracelet, six months."
"Six months to produce ten tons of fertile soil, five thousand liters of pure water, one thousand kilos of crops, and five hundred cubic meters of wood." He looked around the swamp. "In THIS."
"Yes."
"I'm going to die."
"Probably not," Valeria said. "Her Highness has a personal interest in your survival."
Princess Lysandra meowed, a sound Renn chose to interpret as obviously, I can't let my Substitute Lord die so quickly.
"How comforting," he muttered.
"However," Valeria continued, "you will need to work considerably harder than you have been working."
"Harder than spending weeks trying to grow something in toxic mud?"
"Considerably."
Renn sighed, but for the first time in a long time, he didn't feel completely hopeless. Yes, his situation was still terrible. Yes, he would probably fail in spectacular and hilarious ways. But now he had help, extremely competent help that could eliminate his enemies with casual gestures.
"Okay," he said, squaring his shoulders. "Where do we start?"
Valeria consulted her tablet again.
"The troop tower has residual energy from the previous invocation. With enough recharge time, you should be able to perform another summon in approximately one week."
"One week?" Renn blinked. "But the system said Class-S summons have massive cooldown times."
"Normally, yes. But Her Highness is... accelerating the process." Valeria looked at Princess Lysandra. "Her power is saturating the territory, which has the side effect of reducing cooldown times."
"So I'll be able to summon more troops?"
"Eventually. Once the tower fully stabilizes under Her Highness's influence."
That was... actually really good news. Renn felt some genuine hope for the first time in weeks.
"And in the meantime?"
"In the meantime," Valeria said, a small smile playing on her lips, "we begin your training."
"Training?"
"Of course. You can't be completely useless as a Lord."
"I thought the consensus was that I WAS completely useless."
"You were," Valeria agreed. "But Her Highness has decided to invest in your development. It would be a shame to waste that investment by allowing you to remain incompetent."
Princess Lysandra purred her agreement, although the sound had a nuance of and it will be entertaining to watch your progress.
For better or worse, he was no longer alone in this.
"Alright," he said finally. "Training. It can't be worse than gym class."
Valeria smiled, and there was something vaguely predatory in that expression.
"Oh, Substitute Lord," she said softly. "That optimism is adorable."
That night, lying in his tent while both cats slept nearby (Valeria had returned to feline form, declaring it was "more comfortable for resting"), Renn looked at the canvas ceiling and thought about everything that had happened.
Two days ago, he was the laughingstock of the academy, a failed Lord destined for expulsion.
Now he was... still somewhat pathetic, honestly. But he was pathetic with a Celestial-level bodyguard and a royal dimensional boss.
It was a start.
A very, very weird start, but a start nonetheless.