Helstus
You must live.
Do not die until you have lived your life to the fullest.
Mother... Mother, yes, Mother. The only woman who loved me unconditionally. Tell me, Mother, why did you protect me? Why did you defend me? You should not have died that day. Why did you force me to live in a world without you? What is the purpose of life if I cannot see your face? Ever since then, death has haunted my thoughts. I tried to kill myself, but I could not face you as a suicide. So, I will obey your words. I will live my life until death comes for me. I love you, Mother. You were the most precious thing I owned.
I opened my eyes slowly, and the first thing I saw was the gloomy gray ceiling of my room. I pulled the cover off my body, adjusted my posture, and settled on the edge of the bed, staring silently at the floor.
Knock... knock.
I heard a faint knock at the door, and I answered calmly: "Come in."
A palace maid entered and bowed slightly. "Good morning, young master. I came to inform you that your father requires your presence in his office."
She spoke in a monotonous, unemotional tone.
I looked at her before answering: "Understood. Tell Father I will be there shortly."
She bowed again, then departed.
I rose from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I stood before the mirror, staring at my reflection: two dull, lifeless gray eyes, long gray hair, and dark circles around my eyes. Anyone who saw me would think I suffered from depression. Perhaps I truly am depressed. I tried to curve my lips into a smile, but it looked clumsy, fake, like the grin of an idiot. I stopped smiling, turned on the tap, and washed my face. Afterwards, I grabbed a towel lying beside the mirror, dried my face, and left the bathroom.
I went to the closet and pulled out a simple gray shirt and trousers. I put them on, then left my room, walking quietly down the long corridors, until a voice I had always hated interrupted me. I turned towards the source of the sound and saw a woman who appeared to be in her forties. She is my father's wife. I do not know what my father ever saw in her.
"Helstus, my dear son, where are you rushing off to so early?"
Though her words sounded like maternal concern, a hint of disdain lingered beneath the surface. I stared at her with an icy gaze, and she flinched. I replied coldly: "You are not my mother, nor is it any of your concern where I go, so step aside."
I did not have to wait long for her fake mask to shatter. "You spoiled brat, do not forget that, by law, I am your mother, so you must show me respect. Do you hear me?"
Her face flushed red as she yelled at me.
An involuntary, mocking laugh escaped me, which only intensified her fury.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing, I just recalled something quite amusing."
I spoke as I began to walk away from her. I did not want to prolong the exchange, until she spoke again: "The son is just like his mother—both fools."
I froze instantly, stunned by her words. How dare she call my mother stupid? My mother, who sacrificed her life for me, and this woman calls her a fool? This was something I absolutely could not tolerate.
Swiftly, flames erupted across the corridor, encircling us. The woman shrieked, began to pant and sweat, and fear was starkly visible on her pale face. She collapsed to the floor, clutching her chest where her heart was.
I approached her, holding a ball of fire in my hand. In that instant, I was ready to kill her with sharp eyes, ready to launch the ball. A voice from behind me stopped me. I knew that voice well, even though I rarely heard it. It was none other than Father, the man who abandoned me after my mother's death.
"What do you think you are doing, Helstus? Put the fireball away from her now."
I glared at him, and slowly extinguished the fire on her and in my hand. I wished I could kill her right now. The problem was the man protecting her. If the gap in our power levels were not so vast, I would not have hesitated to kill her. But this man is leagues ahead of me, capable of passing through my fire effortlessly, as if it were a boring child's game that held no interest for him. Thus, I chose not to confront him, knowing I would lose. This filled me with rage, but I kept my face expressionless.
Father walked past me towards his wife. He stood before her as she lay on the floor and simply said: "Leave."
The woman did not hesitate and fled quickly. Father turned to me and ordered me to follow him. As we walked in silence, he asked me: "Helstus, if you were given the opportunity to kill Amalia, would you do it?"
His question surprised me, but I answered: "Yes, I would, even if it meant destroying the entire palace. I would do it."
"I see... Then, I wish you luck with that."
"Huh... What?" I was taken aback by his cold response. I expected him to be furious or to silence me, something of that nature, but instead, he wished me luck.
"Then why did you stop me from killing her?"
I asked him why he had prevented me from killing her, and he replied: "You will understand when you are older and become the head of the family."
I was about to ask him to elaborate, but we reached the office. We entered, and Father went to his chair, while I took my place in front of the desk.
"Helstus, you know about the Knights' Academy, correct?"
"Yes, why?" I replied, confused.
"When noble children turn fifteen, they attend the Knights' Academy to learn to utilize their abilities. I have therefore enrolled you in the Academy. Tomorrow morning, you and your maid Lucia will depart to travel to Mustland, and this is not up for discussion. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Father, I understood."
I left the office and went straight to my room. The moment I entered, I slammed my fist onto the table with enough force to shatter it, leaving my hand injured and completely covered in blood. Yet, I paid it no mind; I showed no reaction to the pain. All my thoughts were focused on my anger at Father and his interference in my life. He is absent for years, then returns with arrogance to dictate the course of my life, as if I lack free will, bound by his chains, moving me like a puppet in his hand. I doubt he sees me as a son. No, I am merely one of his many tools. It makes no difference to him if a tool breaks or disappears; there will always be a replacement. I am that tool.
While I was absorbed in my thoughts, I failed to hear the knock at the door. I did not even notice the maid entering.
"Master."
I looked at the source of the sound, and my eyes widened. Quickly, I hid my injured hand behind my back, and said with a smile: "Lucia, what are you doing here?"
She did not answer me. She only stared at the bloodstains on the floor with a terrified expression, then looked at the shattered table. "Master, please, could you show me your hand?" She spoke in a weak, frightened tone, gazing at me with eyes glistening with unshed tears.
I gave up and showed her my hand. When she saw my injured hand covered in blood, her tears started falling. She hurried to a drawer, took out a first aid kit. She pulled out disinfectant and a white bandage, then took my hand, poured the disinfectant on it, and bandaged it.
While staring at her, I neither spoke nor resisted; I simply let her treat my hand. I knew that if I resisted, she would get angry, and I did not want her to be angry with me. I remained silent until she finished the treatment.
I opened my mouth to speak, but she placed her finger on my lips to silence me, then said in a gentle, tender voice: "Young master, you do not need to justify not telling me about your injury. You are not a child, but even so, please, if you get hurt at all, tell me. Even if it pains my little heart, not knowing you are injured hurts more than knowing. So, please, do not hide your injuries from me."
With every word she spoke, tears streamed down her face, and also onto mine. I reached out and embraced her tightly, and she hugged me back. We cried in silence, clinging to one another as if fearing the other might vanish. We stayed like that for about five minutes, then pulled back, looked at each other, and exchanged soft, gentle smiles.
As we smiled, I placed my hand on the back of my neck and looked away slightly, embarrassed, and said: "Lucia, I am sorry for not telling you. I did not mean to upset you. I was not thinking clearly when I was hurt. I hope you forgive me."
I looked at the floor, awaiting her reply.
"Master, please, raise your head."
I raised my head to look at her, and I found her smiling. "Master, you did nothing wrong, so please do not apologize. It is just that I cannot bear to see you injured and in pain, that is all. Do not worry."
She finished her words while patting my head.
"Lucia, thank you for everything. Without you, I would not know what to do. You are the one who has cared for me since I was a child. For me, you were the mother I did not have. So, thank you, Lucia."
I finished my words while holding her hand tenderly.
She gasped in surprise, then smiled and said: "Thank you, Helstus. You, too, were like the son I did not have to me. So, thank you, Helstus, for everything."
She finished her words with the same smile.
And in that moment, for a fleeting instant, Helstus, for the first time in eight years, was able to see colors shining on Lucia, if only for a brief moment.
"Lucia, I think I saw colors on you," I said, astonished. "I thought I would never see colors again; I had even given up hope. I did not expect the day to come when I would see colors. It does not matter if it was brief; what matters is that I am still capable of seeing colors."
Lucia was shocked, but quickly smiled and said: "This is wonderful news, Master. This means that you might be able to recover from this."
"Yes, this is very joyful. Thank you, Lucia. I do not think I would have reached this stage without you. You are my light in this world."
She did not reply, but smiled at me kindly.
After a short conversation, I asked Lucia if she knew that I would be studying at the Knights' Academy, and she replied yes. She had come to my room to ask me about it.
"I see. You may leave now, Lucia. I think I will sleep a little."
"Alright, I wish you a good rest," she replied, bowing slightly before leaving.
I closed the door, went to the bed, and lay on my back, staring at the ceiling.
Knights' Academy, I hope it will be a good place. I closed my eyes and sank into sleep.
To be continued...