Kol Mikaelson saw the light at the end of his hellish century when the witch — his impossible witch — did the impossible yet again. With wit, audacity, and magic on her side, she stole his corpse right out from under Nik's nose. He watched eagerly as she dragged his body out of that miserable storage barn where his dear brother liked to keep his siblings like cursed luggage. He knew she wouldn't take the dagger out there — too risky, too exposed.
He followed her all the way to her newly built home, anticipation coiling in him like a spring.
And then she left him in the trunk of her car.
And went to sleep.
Without a care in the world.
Kol was livid. No — he was raging. They had a deal. A deal she had not fulfilled. Never mind how interesting she was — he already had a list of ways he planned to kill her. Slowly. Painfully. Intimately.
"Cease your tantrum," Emily Bennett said, appearing beside him as he screamed at the sleeping Bonnie Bennett.
"How dare you appear before me?" he snarled, fangs out. "Your student broke her deal!"
"Have you forgotten the deal you made with Qetsiyah?" Emily replied calmly. "You are not to harm a single hair on Bonnie's head. In fact, you are to protect her."
"She betrayed me!" he hissed, though he quieted slightly at the mention of Qetsiyah. "After a century of this hell, freedom was within reach — only to be snatched away!"
"You've watched her long enough to know she doesn't break deals," Emily said evenly. "If she hasn't taken the dagger out, she has a plan. She wouldn't risk stealing from your brother only to leave you dead."
Kol processed that. Slowly. Begrudgingly.
Bonnie Bennett was always scheming. Always calculating. And she never broke a deal unless the other party broke it first. He'd thought she might use him to bargain with Klaus, but then he remembered — she still had the real moonstone. She'd use that to negotiate with Nik.
Why she hadn't freed him yet was still a mystery, but he decided to give her twenty‑four hours before planning her death. And if he killed her, he'd have to deal with Qetsiyah — and he was currently a guest in her domain.
"Fine. She has one day," he muttered.
Emily smiled and vanished.
Kol sighed and sat in a chair, watching the sleeping witch. He hoped he wouldn't regret this. But being at her mercy felt far less unpleasant than being at Nik's.
The Next Morning
He followed her to school — because of course she went to school with his corpse still in her trunk.
"Bonnie, why is there a vampire corpse with a dagger in his heart in your trunk?" Caroline asked.
"Yes, darling," Kol echoed, narrowing his eyes. "Why indeed?"
Bonnie explained. Caroline peeked again and squealed.
"Oh my god, that's the vampire pirate!"
"The only one of us who ever looked like a pirate was Finn," Kol muttered. "But I do look dashing in a captain's hat."
Caroline asked why the dagger was still in his heart.
"Thank you!" Kol shouted. "At least someone understands!"
Bonnie shrugged. "The deal was that I'd get the dagger out — not that I'd do it myself or immediately."
Kol seethed.
"That was IMPLIED," he growled. "Next time I'm writing the contract myself — with small print."
Still… he was impressed. Loopholes were a Mikaelson specialty. He'd never admit it, but he respected the move.
Caroline declared that stealing a sexy pirate corpse was a valid excuse for ditching her party.
Kol smirked. "At least someone appreciates me."
Bonnie said she'd use him as a bargaining chip.
"Oh sweetheart," Kol whispered in her ear, "if you wanted as much of me as possible, all you had to do was ask."
She didn't hear him. Tragic.
Elijah — Her Bloody Plan Was Elijah.
Kol watched as Bonnie revealed his existence to Elijah. He had to admit — it was brilliant. Elijah was noble, predictable, and deeply invested in family. He'd never leave Kol daggered.
He watched Elijah blur forward when Bonnie mentioned him.
"Explain," Elijah growled.
Kol grinned. Now they were getting somewhere.
Bonnie handed Elijah her phone. Kol leaned over his brother's shoulder and laughed.
"Darling, impeccable taste. When I'm awake, I'll pose for you."
Elijah demanded answers. Bonnie gave them. Kol preened.
She hadn't forgotten him. She hadn't broken their deal. She'd simply been maneuvering the board.
He tuned out the ritual talk — he didn't care. He was going to be free.
Then Caroline, bless her chaotic soul, said:
"As a sign of faith, we'll give him to you now."
Kol nearly kissed her.
He followed them to the car. Elijah pulled the dagger out.
Darkness swallowed him.
Freedom was coming.
"Where to now?" Caroline asked.
"To see Klaus," Bonnie said.
"You're just going to knock on his door?"
"I have manners," Bonnie replied. "Unlike the Salvatores."
Caroline teased her. Bonnie teased back. They bickered like sisters.
Kol would've rolled his eyes if he weren't temporarily dead.
Klaus was still admiring Katherine's misery when Caroline and I stepped into the apartment. The witches froze. Katherine froze. Klaus turned, eyes narrowing with curiosity.
Caroline, of course, spoke first.
"Damn, that was epic villain material right there. Although I was kind of expecting a cloak and a mustache. Maybe some horns and a tail too."
Everyone stared at her.
Klaus's lips twitched — dimples and all.
"Well, well," he said, gaze sliding from Caroline to me. "What do I owe the pleasure, Miss Bennett?"
"I believe you'd like to make a deal with me," I said, strolling in like I owned the place.
"I have my doppelgänger, the moonstone, the sacrifices, and a witch ready to unbind the curse," Klaus replied, smug as hell. "Why would I need to make a deal with you?"
"Do you?" I asked, raising a brow. "Do you really?"
Klaus's eyes sharpened. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Mind if we sit?" I asked, already pulling out a chair. Caroline followed, crossing her legs like she was at brunch. Katherine looked like she wanted popcorn.
Klaus dismissed the witches with a flick of his hand. They scurried out.
He leaned forward. "Well then, witch. Enlighten me."
"I'm sure Katherine told you I like making deals," I said.
"She did," Klaus replied, glancing at the vampire in question.
"And did she mention Damon killed the werewolf she planned to give you?"
Klaus blinked. "No. She did not."
Caroline gasped. "Wait — Damon killed the werewolf sacrifice? Seriously? That idiot!"
Klaus smirked at her outrage. "Do continue, love."
Caroline froze at the "love," cheeks pinking. I kicked her under the table.
"As I was saying," I continued, "that werewolf was the only one who knew where the moonstone was. Damon made a deal with me — I'd help him interrogate the wolf and ruin Katherine's plan, and he'd give me the moonstone."
"And yet," Klaus said, leaning back smugly, "I have the moonstone."
"Do you?" I asked sweetly. "Do you really think I'd give away one of my possessions for free? I'm greedy. Some people even call me a miser."
Caroline nodded. "She is. She once charged me twenty bucks to enchant my bracelet."
"It was a very good enchantment," I defended.
Klaus's eyes flicked between us, amused.
"So what I have is…?"
"A decoy," I said. "A very convincing one. But not the real deal."
Klaus slammed his hand on the table. "And what is stopping me from tearing it from your dead corpse?"
Caroline jumped. "Rude!"
I rolled my eyes. "Calm down, mate. I could've kept quiet and let your ritual fail tomorrow. And yet — here I am."
Klaus inhaled, then smirked. "And yet here you are."
Caroline whispered, "He's so dramatic."
Klaus heard her. He smirked harder.
"You're breaking the curse," I said. "You're becoming the Hybrid you were always meant to be."
Klaus tilted his head. "And how would you know that?"
"She's a Seer," Caroline said proudly. "It's annoying. She predicted the Salvatores years before they showed up. She called Elena a dishwasher doppelgänger when we were kids."
Klaus barked a laugh. "A dishwasher?"
"It made sense at the time," I muttered.
Katherine suddenly spoke. "When the wolf catches the rabbit, he shall say 'Zdravei Katerina.' That's what you told me last month."
Klaus's eyes snapped to me. "Interesting."
"Anyway," I said, waving a hand, "I'll give you the moonstone. In return, you won't use Caroline, Tyler, or Jenna as sacrifices."
Caroline's jaw dropped. "I was going to be sacrificed? What the hell have I ever done to you?"
Klaus gave her a charming smile. "Don't take it personally, love."
Caroline pointed at him. "I am taking it personally! I didn't even do anything! Sacrifice Damon! He's annoying!"
Klaus chuckled. "Your suggestions are noted."
"And Tyler just triggered his curse," Caroline continued. "You couldn't have taken Jules? She's a raging werewolf bitch who enjoys ripping people apart!"
Klaus actually laughed. "You're delightful."
I smirked. "So? Deal?"
Klaus eyed me. "Very well. But I doubt Damon will volunteer to be my vampire sacrifice."
"Thankfully," I said, "the last vampire who kidnapped me didn't die. Care, remember Ben?"
"The bartender? Yeah, he's still around. Pearl took him in."
"There you go," I said. "Use Ben. Or Pearl. Not Anna — I don't want to deal with a suicidal Gilbert."
Klaus nodded slowly. "I believe we have a deal."
"Swear it," I said. "Full terms."
Klaus rolled his eyes. "I, Klaus Mikaelson, won't use Caroline Forbes, Tyler Lockwood, or Jenna Sommers as sacrifices. In return, Bonnie Bennett will give me the moonstone."
"Agreed." I placed the real moonstone on the table.
Klaus stared at it, then at me. "I really should've killed you and taken it."
"Too late now," I said. "And this won't be our only deal."
"You're confident I won't kill you."
"Eh." I shrugged. "I'm not afraid of dying. And pain is foreplay for me. You're not my type, so it's a hard pass."
Caroline choked. Klaus blinked. Katherine almost looked impressed.
"We'll see ourselves out," Caroline said, dragging me toward the door.
"Caroline, love," Klaus called after us.
She froze.
"I've never had a mustache," he said with a grin. "But the horns and tail? I could make them work."
Caroline slammed the door behind us.
In the car, she turned to me, eyes huge.
"Oh my god. The dimples. The accent."
"What was that, Care?" I asked innocently.
"You told me on the first day of school — sex in the woods with a sexy guy with dimples and an English accent! You meant him!"
"Did I?" I asked, pretending to think. "I thought I meant a blonde vampire nemesis with a British accent."
"That's Spike!" she yelled, hitting my arm.
"Careful with the vampire strength," I groaned. "We're going to a party tonight. Try not to bruise me."
Caroline crossed her arms. "I'm getting to the bottom of this."
We drove in silence for a minute.
We drove in silence for a minute.
"So he tried to sacrifice you," I said. "As far as first introductions go, it could've been worse."
"Oh my god. It is him," Caroline whispered.
"Is that so bad?"
"Well…" Caroline hesitated. "He sounds like a villain from a TV show. He threatened to kill you. He was going to kill me. But I guess…"
"Dude, I know," I said. "We always like the villains better than the heroes."
Caroline sighed. "Let's talk about this later."
"Let's get ready for the party," I said, pulling into my driveway.
It was already dark outside when the bell rang. I walked down the stairs, trying not to trip over the long green dress Caroline had forced me into. She was still upstairs fussing with her hair — even after I told her we were basically planning on killing an entire secret society tonight. Apparently, near‑death experiences didn't stop her from needing perfect curls.
I reached the front door, pulled it open—
—and froze.
Kol Mikaelson stood on my porch in a perfectly tailored black suit, looking like trouble wrapped in silk. His grin was sharp and delighted, and his eyes swept down my frame slowly, shamelessly, like he was cataloguing every inch.
"Bonnie lass," he drawled, voice warm and wicked. "It's been a while since we've seen each other. Green really is your color, love."
Before I could react, he took my hand and lifted it to his lips, brushing a kiss across my knuckles like he'd stepped straight out of a Victorian romance novel.
I blinked. Slowly. What the hell was happening?
"Kol Mikaelson, why are you slobbing all over my hand?" I blurted. Sue me — this was the first time anyone had kissed my hand, and it was coming from a feral Original vampire who'd been dead for a century.
"Why, I'm showing my appreciation for getting me out of that coffin," Kol replied with a smirk, completely unbothered by my reaction.
"It was just a deal," I said, tugging my hand back.
"Indeed," he agreed, eyes glinting. "But you still came through. I'll admit, I had my doubts — but I'm glad I put my trust in you."
"You still have yet to finish your part of the bargain," I reminded him.
"And I shall," he said smoothly, stepping closer. "But not tonight. And especially not here." His gaze flicked past me, toward the interior of my house. "I might not be dead anymore, but I can still feel Emily's creepy smiles."
I reached out with my senses — and yeah, Emily's ghost was hovering nearby like a judgmental Victorian aunt.
"You're right about that," I muttered.
Kol leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. "By the way, darling, I have something to say."
"What's up with the pet names?" I asked, genuinely perplexed.
He ignored that completely.
"I'm not mad about you using my body to make a deal with Elijah," he said.
"Yes…" I prompted, waiting for the catch.
Kol stepped in close — too close — and whispered in my ear, his breath brushing my skin:
"If you really wanted to get as much of me as you possibly could… all you had to do was ask."
Goosebumps shot down my spine. My brain blanked for a full second. Maybe two.
When I finally snapped back to reality, the first thing I saw was a pair of mischievous brown eyes watching me like a cat watching a canary it fully intended to pounce on.
Before I could form a coherent sentence, Caroline came clattering down the stairs.
"I'm ready to go—" She stopped dead when she saw Kol on the porch. Then she smirked at me. "Vampire pirate guy. Lovely meeting you."
Kol grinned at her. "And here I thought it was Sexy Vampire Pirate Caroline."
Caroline gaped. "I— what— excuse me?"
"I might have been around," Kol said casually, "even if you couldn't see me."
"That's a bit stalker‑ish," Caroline said, recovering quickly. "But since you were dead, we'll give you the benefit of the doubt."
"Where's Elijah?" she added.
"He's in the car," Kol replied, then turned back to me and offered his arm. "Shall we?"
"I'll have you know I'm not a lady," I said, rolling my eyes. The last time he'd been awake, hand‑kissing and arm‑offering were apparently still in fashion.
"Oh, I know," he said with a smirk. "What you are, Bonnie Bennett, is impossible. And that's what makes you so much fun."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, brushing past him. "You ready for this party?"
"Oh darling, I was born ready." His eyes gleamed with bloodthirsty excitement. "Who would've thought the first date you invite me to would be to paint the town red?"
"Since when is this a date?" I demanded.
"Since the moment you decided to use my corpse to bargain my brother's attendance at this little soirée," he said, grinning down at me.
"So this is payback," I sighed.
"Payback? No," Kol scoffed. "Who do you think I am, Nik? If I wanted payback, you'd be tied down and I'd be torturing you."
"Isn't this the same thing?" I deadpanned.
"Not at all, darling. It's a date." His grin widened. "I'll only hurt you if you ask for it. And instead of crying out in pain, it'll be in pleasure. Or both, really. What's a little pleasure without pain?"
"You do know I'm not going to fall for whatever this is, right?" I said, gesturing between us.
"Tell me that again at the end of the night," he said lightly. "If you can, that is."
"That sounds like a dare," I said, smirking. "And if it is, I'll have you know I'm a sore loser — which is why I never lose."
Kol bit his lower lip, eyes locked on mine. "I dare you to repeat those words to me at the end of the night."
"You are going to regret that." I replied with a smirk and got in Elijah's car.
Kol slid in beside me, still wearing that infuriatingly smug grin.
Elijah paused before starting the engine — just long enough for me to notice the way his fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Not in anger, but in the resigned, long‑suffering way of a man who had just realized he was now the designated driver for two feral children on their first night out.
He exhaled once, quietly, the Original Vampire equivalent of "I should have stayed daggered."
Then, with perfect composure, he greeted us, put the car in gear and drove off.
It was time to crash a secret society party and, potentially, kill everyone in it.