"So you and Mattie Blue‑Blue?" I asked as Caroline let out another dreamy sigh, munching on her chips.
"Sorry I didn't tell you," she said. "I figured you knew, and I wasn't sure how to bring it up."
"Oh, I knew way before either of you did," I replied with a smirk. "But why did you feel awkward bringing it up with me?"
"Because you always said Matt was dull and I…" she trailed off awkwardly.
"That's because he is. He's the perfect blond, blue‑eyed jock with a heart of gold who'll be stuck in this town forever," I said truthfully. "That doesn't mean he isn't boyfriend material."
"But he's still in love with Elena. It's always about her," Caroline sighed.
"To be truthful, I'm not sure Mattie will ever not be in love with Elena. That doesn't mean he can't love someone else too," I said, stealing a sip of her Coke. "It's up to you. You have to figure out if you can make the relationship work."
"What if I can't deal with his love for her?" she asked, confused.
"Then you move on," I said, because obviously — Karoline. "Even if you get heartbroken, you'll still have the memories of Mattie's awesome abs and cute blue eyes to moan about in your dreams."
"Seriously? Just when I thought we were having a good heart‑to‑heart, you had to ruin it?" Caroline said, chuckling.
"It was getting too mushy for me. Sorry not sorry," I smirked. "Plus, how could the image of Matt's abs ever ruin anything?"
"Not the point," she said, sticking her tongue out at me.
"Real mature," I said, rolling my eyes but laughing anyway.
"So, what about you?" Caroline asked. "Any boy toy in sight?"
"Ben. You know, Ben the bartender?" I said, pointing at him. "He's been pestering me nonstop, but it's not happening in this century."
"Why not?" she asked, glancing at him. "He's cute."
"He's also a vampire, and I'm pretty sure he's planning on kidnapping me," I said dryly, glaring slightly at Ben.
"Fangs and kidnappings? Sounds kinda kinky to me," she teased, winking. She wasn't worried — she knew I could take care of myself.
"The kinkiest part will be when he bursts into flames," I grinned, and Caroline burst out laughing.
I did get kidnapped by Ben the newbie vampire the next day.
"Bonnie, oh my god, Bonnie!" Elena's panicked voice dragged me awake.
"Ouch, my head. Fuck," I groaned, realizing I was stuck in a bathtub.
"Are you okay?" Elena asked, worried.
"I'm five by five," I said, getting up quickly. "Now let's get out of here."
"They're vampires — they can hear us," Elena whispered.
I rolled my eyes. I'm a witch. A locked wooden motel door isn't stopping me.
Before she could say anything else, I raised my hand and used telekinesis to send the door flying off its hinges. Ben vamp‑sped at me, but I snapped his neck with another flick of magic.
I walked into the room like I owned it and smirked at the female vampire baring her fangs at me. "Put the teeth away, darling. We're here to do business."
"What are you talking about?" Annabelle asked, frowning. Elena looked just as confused.
"Fine," I sighed, taking a seat in the corner. "Let's start with why you kidnapped me."
"And me," Elena added.
"You're going to open the tomb," Anna said, nodding at me. Then to Elena: "And you're here to make sure the Salvatores behave."
"Is this about Emily's spellbook?" Elena asked. "Damon said it could open the tomb."
"Yes, it can. And your witch friend here is going to do it," Anna said.
"Do I look like a trained monkey?" I asked. "You say 'jump,' I say 'fuck you,' capisce?"
"Oh, I think you will," Anna smirked.
Before I could respond, Elena started having a heart‑to‑heart with the enemy about Pearl and Katherine. I stayed quiet and waited for things to heat up.
Eventually Anna had enough and dialed Stefan.
"She's fine. For now. Tell me you have the grimoire and she stays fine," Anna said. "Which means your brother has it. And I have the witch."
"Actually…" I cut in, grinning. "Damon doesn't have the grimoire. I do. So where were we?"
Anna hung up and sat across from me. "What do you want?"
"Right down to business. I like it," I said, waggling my eyebrows. "It's simple. You want me to do an ancient, probably dangerous spell? Then you're going to pay."
"What?" Anna and Elena said in unison.
"I'm not above extorting ancient vampires with more money than they can count," I said. "I'm mostly human. I want a nice retirement when I'm old, you know?"
"Seriously? Money?" Anna asked.
"Yes, money. Money makes the world spin," I said. "You're a vampire — compel yourself a few bank accounts. A few thousand dollars for saving your mother from eternal misery isn't much."
"Bonnie, what are you doing?" Elena asked, horrified. "You can't let all those vampires out!"
"Who said anything about letting vampires out?" I said with a Mona Lisa smile. "I said I'd open the tomb and get Pearl out. The others? I'm burning."
"I don't care. I just want my mother," Anna said. "Is 150 million okay?"
"Two hundred million and it's a deal. Here's my account number," I said, writing it down.
"It'll be done in a few hours," Anna said.
"Good. I need to get a few things. I'll open the tomb tonight," I said, leaving the room. Elena followed, and Anna let me go — she needed the grimoire.
I dropped Elena at the Salvatores' and drove to the witch house for a quick talk with Emily. I lit the candles with my mind and chanted, "Phasmatos Manex, Un Domo Hax, Fero Adiuvex."
"So you came again," Emily said behind me.
I turned and smiled. "I need your help. I'm opening the tomb tonight."
"Yes, I heard you're into extortion now," she smirked.
"You're just jealous you didn't think of it while you were alive," I shot back.
She rolled her eyes but kept smirking. "Now, the tomb. What's the problem?"
"Should I use the talisman?" I asked. Grams would die if she helped. The talisman might let me do it alone.
"Indeed. But Bonnie… whatever you're trying to change…" Emily said softly. "Time fights back. Some things are meant to be."
"And here I thought I was in a teen vampire show, not a Stephen King novel about JFK," I groaned.
"Try your best, child. But there are no guarantees," she said before fading.
I texted Damon and Anna and prepared for the spell. I had the talisman, the grimoire, the pentagram drawn, and the water spilled when Damon arrived with a blood bag.
"You're almost late," I said, lighting the five torches. "A few minutes more and I'd have opened and closed this tomb without you."
"I'm never late, witchy. Everyone else is early," Damon smirked.
"Did you just quote The Princess Diaries at me?" I asked, raising a brow.
"No," he said sarcastically.
I didn't believe him.
I opened the grimoire and began chanting. "Phasmatos Salves Nas Ex Malon, Terra Mora Vantis Quo Incandis, Et Vasa Quo Ero Signos."
The torches flared as I pulled magic from the talisman.
When the tomb door creaked open, I stopped. "You have ten minutes before I close this thing and burn everything inside. Hurry."
Anna sped inside. Damon followed.
I sighed, took a drink of water, and prepared for the hard part — breaking the seal. I put the talisman around my neck and channeled it. It wasn't a full moon, which sucked, but I could manage.
I was almost done when—
"Bonnie, stop. Now." Grams shook my shoulders. "That's enough."
I opened my eyes to see her tense, with Elena and Stefan behind her.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, horrified. "You need to leave."
"You can't break the seal alone," Grams warned.
"Yes, I can," I said. And without dying, I added silently.
"Forget the vampires. Let them rot," she snapped.
"I'm not breaking my word. I made a deal," I snarled back. "I, unlike you, am not a liar."
"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded.
"Binding my powers? Locking the attic?" I laughed bitterly.
"Who taught you?" she whispered.
"I met a witch in Chicago. An old drunk witch lady — much like you," I said, slipping from her grasp and continuing the spell.
"Stop it, Bonnie! If you use too much magic, you'll burn!" Grams cried.
I ignored her. I knew what I was doing. I was only channeling Emily's talisman — not my own.
Then Grams grabbed my hand and started chanting with me.
"What are you doing?" I asked, eyes wide.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I wasn't a good teacher. I let my issues with your parents cloud my judgment. I should never have bound you."
"I'm sorry I'm such an annoying little shit," I said with a shaky smile as her magic joined mine.
"I'm sorry I doubted you. I can feel your talisman," she said. "You really could do it alone."
"I tried to tell you," I whispered as the magic drained from our bones into the seal.
"She wasn't inside! What the hell is going on?" Damon shouted from the tomb entrance.
"I'm proud of you," Grams whispered — and collapsed as her last magic left her.
I didn't notice Anna and Pearl leave. I was too busy crying silently over my grandmother's body.
"Bonnie, are you alright?" Elena asked, touching my shoulder.
I laid Grams gently on the ground, then turned to Elena and Stefan with the most hateful glare I could muster.
"This is your fault. Why the hell did you bring her here? If she'd stayed away, I could've opened it without her. Tomorrow she'd be here lecturing me about making deals with vampires."
"We just thought—" Stefan began.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Next time don't try — just don't," I hissed.
Then I turned to the tomb, channeling my talisman. I raised my hand and chanted:
"Phasmatos Incendia!"
Screams and hisses echoed as the vampires burned.
It was all just dust.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If God won't have you, the Devil must.