Natsuki Subaru also came to understand Rem's past.
Ultimately, he reached an extremely absurd conclusion: it was all just a misunderstanding.
Rem hated the Witch Cult that had caused her older sister Ram to lose her horn, and at the same time, she maintained a high degree of vigilance toward him due to the Witch's Scent he carried. As for himself, aside from seeming normal during their first meeting, his actions in the subsequent loops—looking back on them now—
meant that Rem's reasons for killing him weren't so baseless after all.
So, was it his fault?!
Natsuki Subaru desperately wanted to confront Rem, to ask her why she had done that to him, what part of him…
Was it because of his own recklessness that all these tragedies occurred?!
How could that be?!
The inhuman torture and suffering he had endured—was the source of it all his own doing?!
Natsuki Subaru absolutely refused to accept such a conclusion.
In the end, this led to the birth of a Purge King who had completely let himself go, appearing in that world. At the same time, having completely fallen into the abyss and become the Purge King, Natsuki Subaru could no longer trust his companions in the slightest.
'Even Halibel...'
At the moment of their final parting, Natsuki Subaru could understand Halibel's regret. In fact, Subaru himself felt regret, but he was already unable to trust anyone again.
"Natsuki-kun?"
Hiyori Shiina's voice interrupted Natsuki Subaru's scattered thoughts.
Although he had recalled many unbearable memories from his past, not much time had actually passed. In Hiyori Shiina's eyes, Natsuki Subaru had merely zoned out for a moment.
If it weren't for the fact that Natsuki Subaru's expression had suddenly turned somewhat pained,
Hiyori Shiina had not actually planned on interrupting him.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about some things."
The expression on Natsuki Subaru's face quickly recovered, as if an invisible hand had instantly smoothed out all the wrinkles. Looking at the trace of worry in Hiyori Shiina's eyes, he smiled and said, "Let's go. Let's head back."
"Shiina-san."
"Mhm, let's go."
Hiyori Shiina nodded, a smile also appearing on her face as if nothing had happened.
'Natsuki-kun seems to have some painful memories.'
Without asking further, Hiyori Shiina walked quietly by Natsuki Subaru's side, a little behind him.
On the way back to the dorms, both were very silent. However, unlike the quiet tranquility they had enjoyed while reading their respective books in the library, this time the silence carried a faint, almost imperceptible weight.
Needless to say for Natsuki Subaru.
If there was one thing that suffocated Natsuki Subaru the most, it wasn't Ram hunting him down, or the first time she had her hands around his neck. It was the moment Rem, whom he had considered a partner, had killed him without a moment's hesitation.
The thought of the name Rem, even the image of Rem.
Rem's brilliant smile intertwined with the expressionless face she wore as she killed him. The fact that Natsuki Subaru could breathe normally now, could maintain a normal facade, was already a huge improvement.
Before being transported back to this parallel modern society, every time Natsuki Subaru thought of Rem, he could only return to Emilia's side, relying on the colored Emilia to find relief.
As for Hiyori Shiina, she was simply not as good at socializing as she appeared.
Ultimately, even Natsuki Subaru, who had only known Hiyori Shiina for two days, might already rank as one of the top friends in her decade-plus of life.
Although Hiyori Shiina could sense that Natsuki Subaru's mood was not good, knew he might have memories he was unwilling to recall, and also knew he didn't want to talk about them,
as someone who couldn't even be considered a friend yet, Hiyori Shiina didn't know what to say.
All the way to the dorm building, into the elevator, as they pressed buttons for different floors...
"Natsuki-kun."
"Hmm?"
Natsuki Subaru looked at Hiyori Shiina, who had spoken up again, and gave a gentle smile. "What is it?"
"Sorry, I zoned out for a bit just now, and the atmosphere got a little awkward."
"No."
Hiyori Shiina shook her head lightly, looked at Natsuki Subaru, and said with a smile, "We should be considered friends now, right?"
"If I could become friends with Shiina-san, I think I'd be very happy."
Natsuki Subaru neither directly confirmed nor agreed.
His reply remained steady and gentle, yet it carried a very subtle sense of distance.
Hiyori Shiina looked at the smile on Natsuki Subaru's face and the weariness beneath it. Her purple eyes were clear and focused, as if she could see right through his surface-level disguise.
"Is that so..."
Nodding lightly, Hiyori Shiina's tone was equally steady. Then, she naturally took out the school-issued student terminal from her pocket, tapped the screen a few times with her fingertips, and turned the screen toward Natsuki Subaru.
The screen displayed the 'add contact' interface.
"Well then, I'll consider Natsuki-kun my friend."
"Since we're friends, exchanging contact information is perfectly normal, right?"
"We both like reading. If I find an interesting book in the future and want to share it with you, having your contact info would be much more convenient."
Hiyori Shiina looked at Natsuki Subaru with a beaming smile.
"Of course."
Natsuki Subaru also nodded with a smile and added Hiyori Shiina's contact information.
This was the third contact Natsuki Subaru had added since coming to this school. The first was Kikyo Kushida, and the second was the white-haired girl from Year 1, Class A who thought herself smarter than everyone else, Arisu Sakayanagi.
...
Natsuki Subaru's room.
The dorms at the Advanced Nurturing High School were very well-appointed, with basically every function one could need.
After returning to his room, Natsuki Subaru glanced at his contact list, paused for a moment on the contact labeled Hiyori Shiina, then casually tossed his phone aside.
He lay on the bed somewhat numbly, staring at the unchanging ceiling.
The room was quiet, with only his own slightly ragged breathing audible.
Natsuki Subaru took a deep breath, forcibly disrupting his train of thought.
The fragments of memories about Rem, which he had forcibly suppressed earlier, now became clear again in the silence of being alone. With sharp edges, they scraped at Natsuki Subaru's nerves.
Although the dorm room was fully functional, the space was rather compact.
Especially in Natsuki Subaru's current state, the narrow room seemed to be invisibly shrinking, compressing his senses and exacerbating the drowning-like feeling of suffocation.
'Forget it, I'll go out for some air.'
___
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