I woke up before the alarm. Not because I slept well, but because my mind wouldn't let me drift too far. I took a shower and wore my work clothes. The house was silent when I stepped into the hallway. No voices. No footsteps. Just the soft hum of a place too big for two strangers.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I found Suha in the kitchen.
She was standing by the stove, humming quietly. The morning light framed her like she belonged here, while I felt like someone passing through.
She turned when she noticed me. "You're up early."
"So are you."
"I wanted to make breakfast today," she said. "Just something simple."
I nodded. "Alright."
She placed a plate in front of me—eggs, toast, fruit sliced neatly. It was too much effort for someone who owed me nothing.
I sat across from her. She watched my reaction like she was waiting for a score.
"It's good," I said, taking a bite.
Her shoulders eased a bit. "You don't sound very enthusiastic."
"I don't sound enthusiastic about much," I said honestly. "Don't take it personally."
She smiled a little. "I figured as much."
The silence settled again, but she didn't let it sit for long this time.
"Jay… I know we're not close. But we can be civil, right? Not just two names on a marriage contract."
"We already are civil," I said.
"I meant more than that."
I paused with my fork halfway to my mouth. "Why?"
She looked down at her tea, stirring it once. "Because we're living together. Sharing a life, even if it's not the life either of us wanted. I'd rather not feel like a stranger in my own home."
I didn't know how to respond to that. Her words weren't dramatic or emotional. Just honest.
"I don't resent you," I said quietly. "If that's what you're worried about."
Her eyes lifted to mine. They were softer today. "Good. I was worried you might."
"I don't love you either," I added. "I don't… have expectations. Or hopes. Not for this."
"I didn't expect you to," she said. "I'm not naïve."
She paused, then stepped into it gently.
"But I'd like us to talk. Maybe sometimes. Even a little."
I sipped my tea. Warm. Steady. Unlike me.
"Talking is fine," I said. "Just don't expect more than I can give."
She nodded. "I won't."
A little relieved smile touched her lips. The kind that made the air feel slightly lighter.
After breakfast, she followed me to the hallway.
"Are you going to work?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Will you be back tonight?"
"I usually am."
She shifted slightly, fingers brushing the edge of her sleeve. "Good. Maybe we could have dinner together? Not… romantic or anything. Just two people eating at the same table."
I considered it.
Not because I minded. But because she seemed to care more than I understood.
"I'll try," I said finally.
She looked pleased, more than I expected. "That's enough."
As I put on my shoes, she stepped a little closer—not invading, just… trying.
"Jay," she said, her voice quiet. "Thank you for not shutting me out."
I didn't look up right away. When I did, she was standing there with a kind expression that I didn't know how to accept.
"I'm not good at closeness," I said. "But I'm not trying to push you away either."
She nodded. "I know."
Then she stepped back, giving me space again. Always careful. Always gentle.
I left the house, closing the door behind me.
The morning air felt cool. Clear. A little easier to breathe.
I still didn't know what we were.
But for the first time, it didn't feel like nothing.
Just… something small. Barely there.
A beginning that neither of us asked for, but were learning to navigate anyway.