It is Time for A Complete Change
Amber Ann called her assistant and told him she would be gone for the rest of the day.
The truth was, she could no longer pretend. She was not functioning properly; her mind was elsewhere, and her focus was utterly shattered. How could she stay in the lab and be productive? Amber Ann was a perfectionist. She had to either do something well—or not do it at all.
So she had gone home to unwind and center herself. She needed to focus her mind so that she could truly think straight.
She baked two cakes for the family dinner tonight. Baking was her coping mechanism; it was the way she calmed herself and relieved stress. She smiled as she poured the batter into the pan; just smelling the batter calmed her mind. This one was chocolate with chunks of chocolate and strawberry, with streams of strawberry cream cheese mixed in.
The other one was fresh out of the oven and still cooling in the pan—a dense lemon pound cake, a recipe her great-grandmother taught her. She smiled, remembering happier, easier times. And then her resolve once again hardened within her, and she typed up her resignation.
It was time for a change.
She placed the cake layers into the oven—the kitchen quickly taking on the aroma of chocolate and strawberry—and looked at her phone to check the time.
She took in a deep breath of air and calmed her pounding heart. She bit her lower lip as she wavered once again—teeter-tottering between the safe and the adventurous. She never denied her intelligence, but she knew she only liked a sure thing. She blew out a puff of air and finalized the decision.
She was going to call him—one last conversation. That would help her to move on.
She smirked, a small smile sneaking onto her face. She knew that she was trying too hard to convince herself, that she was stalling—still hoping. Tears, which she refused to allow to fall, burned in the back of her eyes, like acid slowly dripping on unprotected skin.
She was going to miss him.
The phone rang too many times for her liking, and she almost disconnected several times. When he finally answered, she heard his usual exasperation, and her unshed tears burned with greater intensity.
She wanted to tap her earbuds and "accidentally" disconnect the call. A lump formed in her throat, and she heard herself swallow hard over it. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, not trying to calm herself, but to hype herself into a fake happiness.
"Amber Ann." She winced at the lack of feeling in his voice and forced her smile wider, injected enthusiasm into her voice, and virtually leapt into her response.
"Hi, darling! How is the hotel?!"
He sighed in resignation, and she could hear the easy smile spread like viscous honey across his face. "It's a nice one. You would love it."
"Really? Maybe I should book a stay."
He laughed. He always felt she never took enough vacations anymore.
She hit send, and her resignation went out to her boss—she knew the woman would be in her evening lectures now. The finality of it stirred her resolve once again. She closed her laptop with a responding click and moved to pour glaze on her lemon pound cake.
"It really is beautiful here, Am." She could hear his shrug through the phone. "But we both know you are not booking a vacay. It is no longer in your DNA."
She paused, the smile frozen on her face. It wasn't his words per se, but how he said it—all laced in sarcasm and judgment. She pursed her lips and kept the rosy smile in her voice.
"I believe you, darling, and you never know—I could surprise you."
He scoffed.
"Well, let me get back to work."
"Talk to you tonight."
"Okay. Love you."
"Click."
He never said "Love you" back. She looked at her cell phone, a soft smile playing on her lips, tears still threatening, and her resolve even stronger.
She checked her cakes and got ready for an appointment with her lawyer. This was going to be a complete change.
Dan Trace disconnected the call and looked at the magazine in his hands. He frowned. Why did he never tell her he loved her? He cared for her, but love was a stretch.
Still.
Something within him twisted oddly at the thought of not reciprocating Amber's love this time, and he knew exactly why—he had truly, and finally, moved on.
His eyes slid over the travel magazine as his brain buzzed with vague thoughts. His fingers flipped pages even though his brain was no longer processing the content.
He smiled, all thoughts of Amber washing away with just half a thought of Jessica.
He looked up when he heard the boarding call for his flight. His smile broadened. He would be seeing Jessica very soon, and maybe things would finally work out. Somehow.
Amber parked her SUV in the drive with a jerk. She was not paying attention—her mind still at her lawyer's office. All the documents were signed and waiting for him. She left instructions to have everything delivered Monday—after his return—and she already had an excuse to leave the house to them both.
She would be leaving right after dinner tonight for her best friend's house to help her with a big project. She glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the two cakes for tonight, sitting amongst her luggage.
That's when she saw Dan's purple sports car pull up on the other side of the drive. Her heart skipped, but she was not totally surprised. She tapped her earbud.
"Call Cristina."
She was going to be leaving dinner earlier than she thought—her best friend now a needed outlet. Suddenly things felt so right, like puzzle pieces fitting into a frame even better than initially thought.
Cristina answered, her bubbly voice a rejuvenating spring to Amber Ann's depleted soul.
"Hey, beautiful! What time are you getting here? I am so glad you decided to help me."
"I was hoping I could come a bit earlier than planned."
"Of course. But don't get me in trouble with Mrs. Lance."
"Dan just pulled up."
Amber Ann watched her husband walk to the house—without a look toward her vehicle—as her best friend cursed in her ear.
"In that case, come whenever you're ready. He is back two days early?"
"Four."
Cristina cursed again, then sighed. "Do you want me to come get you?"
Amber Ann smiled, and her tensed shoulders relaxed. She sighed as she became more at ease.
"That's why I love you so much, Cris! You are always running to my rescue."
"Damn straight! You do the same for me." There was a pause. "Will you be okay?"
Amber Ann opened her door, her confidence renewed. "Better than okay now! Let me go speak to everyone—I will be over there shortly."
"Great—I have some wine we need to taste test."
Amber Ann smiled broadly. Cristina had been exactly what she needed.
She entered the house through the kitchen—more to avoid people and less due to the cakes. She left the cakes in the kitchen, took several deep breaths, and stepped out into the fray.