I woke up with a shout caught in my throat and kicking out. My shoe slammed hard into the front seat of the car. The suddenness of it jarred me instantly.
"Hey baby, are you alright?"
My mother's voice was soft. I looked up. And she turned around in the driver's seat, her face framed by soft brown hair and her eyes wide.
Was that a dream? Or a vision of how my life will be after my mom dies? No. In that chaotic dream, I didn't recognize her face.
"Yeah." I answered, wiping my brow. "I just had a bad dream."
She smiled at me. "Wanna tell me about it?"
I quickly shook my head. "No, it's good. I already forgot most of it anyway."
She straightened, putting the car into park as we arrived at our house. "Okay, then. Tell me about school, is that boy Keita bothering you again?"
Keita? He was in the dream too but he died.
I tried to keep the shock out of my voice.
"No, Mom. Today he didn't do anything to me."
"I'm glad." she said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Because I was about to go to his house right now and woop him with my slippers."
We both laughed and that helped push the lingering dread away
"Hey, Kenichi." she said, her expression suddenly serious as she turned to face me. "Whenever someone is bothering you, don't hesitate to tell me. No matter how embarrassing you think it may sound, I won't judge you. Because I'm your mother, and my duty is to stick by your side, always."
I smiled at her, feeling the love in her words. "Right."
We got out of the carand the neighborhood was quiet. And she opened the front door. "Go change out of your school clothes, Kenichi. I'll be making you a sandwich."
I quickly sprinted up the stairs, throwing myself onto my bed. I peeled off the uniform and pulled on a comfortable pair of jeans. And I was just done putting it on when someone knocked on our door downstairs.
"Kenichi, can you get that?" my mother shouted up the stairs.
"I'm still changing!" I shouted back.
After a moment, my mother called up again. "Kenichi, come downstairs! It's Suzume!"
I quickly pulled on a clean shirt and raced down. When I saw her, I smiled. "Hey, Suzume."
"Hey." she replied.
We were both wearing our matching friendship bracelets, woven bands of blue and white thread. In my dream, we didn't have these. I really hope that dream never comes true.
"Let's go to the park." Suzume suggested, her eyes bright.
I nodded enthusiastically. "Let's go."
Just as we reached the door, my mother called out. "Kenichi! I'm still making your sandwich!"
"I'll eat later, Mom!" I called back.
"Don't come back home late." she replied. "Your dad is coming home."
We got out of the house, grabbed our bicycles from the front yard and rode the short distance to the neighborhood park.
The afternoon was perfect. We chained our bikes and went straight for the swings, holding hands as we walked. Suzume was smiling and her smile made me smile too.
I pushed her on the swing for a while, enjoying the sound of her laughter. "Let's go to the double slide!" I suggested, and she immediately agreed. We climbed the plastic structure and slid down the tandem slide, our hands clasped tightly together the entire way.
When we reached the bottom, Suzume pointed. "Ice cream truck! You want some?"
I nodded and we hurried over. The line was long but we waited patiently, talking about school and the coming dance.
We bought two chocolate ice creams. And the sun was almost down, painting the sky in fiery colors.
"We should go home." Suzume said, licking her ice cream. "Your mother said you shouldn't come back late."
We walked home slowly, pushing our bikes and licking the melting ice cream. Suzume lived next door, so I waited until she was safely inside her her house before I walked through my own front door.
"Mom, I'm home!" I called out, walking into the living room.
"Hey, Champ!"
The voice came from the kitchen. He walked out, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
I froze and looked at him, that was my father. But I didn't recognize this man, I had absolutely zero memory of him. It was as if he never existed in my life until this very moment.
"You don't seem too happy to see me." he said, forcing a slight laugh but his eyes held a hint of hurt.
My mother emerged from the kitchen, wiping flour from her apron. "Come on, Kenichi. Give Dad a hug, he just got home."
I walked slowly and wrapped my arms around him. My mind kept repeating the same question. Why don't I have any memories of my father?
"Alright, guys, let's go have dinner." my mom said, leading the way to the table.
We went to the dinner table. My mom had cooked a massive amount of food. I tried to eat but the food was tasteless.
My parents were catching up on things that seemed outside my understanding.
And after a while, my dad looked at me. "Why are you so quiet today, buddy?" he asked, smiling. "Did your girlfriend Suzume dump you?"
He was only trying to joke around but it didn't land.
"Can I be excused?" I asked, pushing my chair back sharply.
My parents didn't call out for me. I went to my room, closed the door and slid down it, resting my head on my knees. What is wrong with me?
A moment later, a knock came at the door. "Kenichi? Can I come in?" It was him.
"Yes." I answered, scrambling to stand up.
He came in, closing the door softly. I sat on the bed and he sat next to me. "I'm sorry for that bad joke at the dinner table, son."
"I'm the one who's sorry." I whispered.
"No, son. It's all my fault." he said, putting an arm around my shoulder. "I'm not always around and I know it makes you feel a little distant but I'm back now. I'm home. So let's catch up on everything."
I nodded slowly. "Yeah but maybe not today. I had a long day and I want to sleep."
"Okay." he said softly. He helped me get under the blankets, then leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Goodnight, son."
"Goodnight." I replied, watching him switch off the light and leave.
I lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling. Eventually, I closed my eyes. And as soon as I did, a voice called my name.
"Kenichi."
I snapped my eyes open but no one was there. So I closed them again.
The voice returned, sounding someone being violently strangled.
"Kenichi… you're going killing me."
I woke up with a shout. "WHOSE THERE?!"
My parents rushed into the room, flipping on the light. "Kenichi, what's wrong?" my mom asked, rushing to my bedside.
I sat up, my heart hammering. "I… I keep hearing someone calling my name."
My father stood by the door, looking serious. "We weren't calling your name and no one is in the house. Are you playing a prank on us?"
"No! It's not a prank." I said.
My mother walked up to me and gently smoothed my hair back. "Go back to sleep, honey. No one is calling you." She kissed my forehead, and and they backed out of the room, closing the door again.
I didn't close my eyes this time. So I got out of bed and went into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, then grabbed a towel.
When I lifted my head and looked into the mirror, I startled and dropped the towel. The reflection staring back was the grown-up version of me from my dream, blood dripping down his scalp. He reached through the glass, his hands closing around my throat and yanked me forward.
I tumbled through the mirror and fell hard onto the ground of a dimly lit woods. We were in the dark woods.
I kicked out hard at him, scrambling backward. "Get away from me!"
He grabbed the collar of my shirt, yanking me back and forth violently. "Don't be an idiot! All of this is not real!"
He let go, falling onto his knees and started to cry. "It's not real! As much as I wish it was, it's just not!" He looked up at me, tears streaming down his face. "That woman… she's not our mom! It's Miss Suzuki! We don't know our mom!"
I walked backwards, shaking my head violently. "No! You're lying!" I shouted. "You just want to twist my life into nothingness!"
He stood up. "Then how am I here?" he asked. "And why don't you have any memories about our father? Or even about anything, except this day?"
Why don't I really remember my dad? Why does this whole life feel perfect but utterly empty?
He walked slowly toward me. "Everything here is not real. It's all a demon's doing. And we need to wake up or we'll die in that hotel."
I walked backwards until my back bumped hard into a rough tree trunk. "How are we supposed to wake up?" I asked, my voice barely a squeak.
He didn't answer, he simply closed the distance between us and wrapped me in a crushing hug.