Chapter 80 — Bicycle Kick, Another Bicycle Kick! Little Xia's Bicycle Kick, Unerring!
In the Chelsea dressing room Roberto Di Matteo frowned.
He desperately needed this win.
But Satan had sent Xia Qi.
Headache!
He thought carefully about how other teams had contained Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo,
but realized his team was actually doing a good job limiting Xia Qi.
Pushing Xia Qi into needing "inhuman" means to score — could that be a tactical problem?
When his job was on the line and facing a nutcase player, Di Matteo felt he should probably go to church and attend mass to change his luck.
He composed himself and emphasized defensive counterattacking for the second half, telling the team to cut inside from the wings.
He also asked to speak privately with John Obi Mikel and John Terry.
"I need you two to keep double-marking Xia Qi…"
"Boss, that kid's hard to defend. He's got high football IQ, great technique, strong body, and gritty spirit. I'm not afraid of Xia Qi, I'm afraid we can't complete the task."
Di Matteo nodded slightly in agreement.
In all his years coaching, he had never seen a player who still fought when completely off-balance in the air.
How could such a player be from the opponent?
Suddenly Di Matteo felt aggrieved — the media always said he didn't deserve to manage a big club, but if Wenger didn't have Xia Qi… maybe Di Matteo was better.
After fifteen minutes of halftime, the players returned to the pitch full of energy.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the second half is underway."
"Neither manager has made personnel changes. Arsenal kick off."
On the pitch,
after passing the ball to Jack Wilshere, Xia Qi and Mario Balotelli charged forward in tandem.
Wilshere dribbled a couple of steps and, looking up at Xia Qi, anticipated and launched a long through pass over the top.
On the touchline, Roberto Di Matteo, feeling wronged for being underappreciated, saw Arsenal playing such an old-fashioned tactic — the tired old "long pass over the top."
He felt even more indignant about his circumstances.
The ball flew to the edge of Chelsea's penalty area.
At that moment,
Xia Qi realized he was being boxed in.
Frank Lampard on his left, John Obi Mikel on his right, and Terry in front.
A three-man surround — Messi treatment!
The ball arrived.
Terry surged forward, sticking tight to Xia Qi.
He pressed his upper body against Xia Qi and used a little trick — hooking his right foot around Xia Qi's left — trying to use his strength to prevent Xia Qi from jumping.
Lampard and Mikel jumped first to challenge the ball.
"Xia Qi has been double- and triple-teamed. During halftime Di Matteo must have set up defensive instructions against Xia Qi."
"This ball is lost."
In the live stream, Zhang Lu had already pronounced Xia Qi's "death sentence." Three-against-one — it looked like Xia Qi would lose possession.
"Ah! Fuck!"
Zhang Lu couldn't help cursing — a rare live-broadcast slip in his career.
Viewers watching didn't know that in Stamford Bridge at that moment,
more than seventy thousand fans were also swearing.
Even the genteel professor had become a raucous "bawler."
Wenger, seeing the scene on the pitch, couldn't help swearing and even jumped up, hitting his head on the coaching box roof.
"Clang!"
A loud noise, but no one noticed — everyone was watching Xia Qi, who would be looking at him?
Seconds earlier on the pitch,
as Xia Qi felt Terry piling pressure on him, a sound rang in his ear:
"Ding! [Ultimate Strength] attribute activated."
Before the prompt finished, Xia Qi felt primeval power surge through his body.
Then the "Long March One" human rocket launched.
First victim — John Terry.
He felt like he wasn't pressed by Xia Qi but strapped to a carousel horse.
When the carousel spun rapidly,
in a split second,
the proud iron-blooded Terry let out an uncontrollable wail and flew backwards.
In midair,
Terry felt like a joke!
A mantis-blocking-cart joke!
He realized he was so weak, yet had tried a solo challenge???
Who gave him the courage??
Was it Vanessa singing "Conquer" on her knees last night (the scandal heroine)??? Or the legendary Auntie Liang?
From now on, abstain for a week, for Chelsea and for his market value.
Suddenly he laughed.
The usually composed Terry saw that his teammates Mikel and Lampard were also flying backwards like him.
He was happy!
Ha ha,
it wasn't "the sister-in-law's" fault!
It was Xia Qi!
Xia Qi was a monster!
All the "thief Cao"-sourced power returned to his body.
At that moment,
Terry's smile was brilliant.
"Wow, am I seeing things? I think Terry just smiled…"
"You're not seeing things, I saw it too."
"He must be glad England has another tough warrior!"
Imagined worst-case scenarios!
Chelsea fans were won over by their captain's broad chest; they stood and chanted: "Xia Qi! Xia Qi! Xia Qi!"
Thankfully AI has no feelings — if the real Xia Qi suddenly got cheered by the opposing fans, his feet might have behaved differently.
"Xia Qi! Xia Qi has conquered Stamford Bridge! Chelsea fans are cheering for Xia Qi!"
Zhang Lu, wild in imagination, also ran with it.
On the pitch, when Xia Qi stood one-on-three,
Balotelli tried to shake off the markers of Ivanović and David Luiz, but the two defenders denied any connection between him and Xia Qi.
Theo Walcott was similarly constrained.
As everyone tussled for position, moved by Terry, the Chelsea fans cheered.
Balotelli and Walcott looked toward Xia Qi.
They saw Xia Qi lose his balance and tumble headfirst.
Positions! Position my ass!
Xia Qi was about to lose the ball and couldn't pass.
The two players and the defenders sprinted to the ball drop point.
The battle for position became a scramble for the ball.
However,
at this moment Xia Qi was a primeval native!
The native's power exceeded imagination!
Xia Qi's inverted fall wasn't because someone had shoved him; it was the AI's choice.
A nonhuman choice!
In midair,
Xia Qi's head pointed downward, feet up.
His right leg bent, the heel nearly hooked to his butt.
His left leg was straight and high; both legs split wide, visually seeming to reduce gravity.
In fact, it was to better extend his body.
At the instant the ball dropped,
the straight left leg swung down to naturally transfer power to the bent right leg.
The right leg rapidly straightened; Xia Qi felt the AI concentrate all the force on the instep of his right foot.
Then he struck the ball heavily!
"Boom!"
An ultimate explosion, like spring thunder, detonated in every ear.
Chelsea fans were stunned.
Shit!
Who the hell forgets to remember a previous scene?
The scene from the first half was forgotten so quickly?
Captain (Terry)'s little hand assisted to create a classic moment — now which idiot made Xia Qi land inverted?
Come out!
Guaranteed, I won't kill you!
Mikel and Lampard looked terrified: I'm not a traitor, I had no hand in it, don't slander me, I'll sue!
"Bicycle kick!"
"Oh my God! Xia Qi again, while off-balance, performs an acrobatic bicycle kick."
With Zhang Lu's exclamation,
the ball flashed like a white steed, teleporting into the goal.
Petr Čech again couldn't save it; his raised hands for the dive seemed to say: I surrender — I've learned to surrender.
Those who had rushed to the ball paused, turned toward the goal, and saw the ball bouncing in the net. They all stared dumbfounded!
Once is a divine strike!
Twice?
"A bicycle kick! Another bicycle kick!"
"Tonight's viewers are lucky. In all my years of commentary, this is the first time I have ever seen a player score two bicycle kicks in one match."
"Xia Qi's bicycle kicks, never a miss! Staying up late to watch this match was worth it!"
"This is an epic performance! An irreproducible highlight. No matter what Xia Qi achieves in the future,
when people mention bicycle kicks they will think of him, just as we think of David Beckham when we mention half-field chips."
"3-2! Xia Qi at Stamford Bridge completes a hat-trick! Each of his goals more beautiful than the last."
In the live stream Zhan Jun praised Xia Qi like a blossom; the fans didn't find it mushy — it felt deserved.
...
The fans went wild; Xia Qi, who was watching the match live, did too.
"Ding!"
"Goal celebration: yes or no?"
"Yes!"
"Original celebration or someone else's template?"
Damn, terrible — he'd been focused on training and forgot to create an original celebration.
"Someone else's template! Choose the most expensive!"
"Kylian Mbappé with arms crossed, 100k or Erling Haaland lotus-sit meditation, 100k."
Who are those guys?
Future stars?
If you take others' paths you leave no path for others!
I like it!
"Another — Batistuta's machine-gun volley!"
Young people must be a little crazy!
Amid Arsenal fans' hysterical cheers, Xia Qi ran to the stands, raised his "machine gun" and sprayed the crowd.
The fans played along and fell like waves of wheat.
Then he turned to the Chelsea stands, leapt high as he approached, landed, crossed his arms and struck the monarch's face, the monarch's gaze…
That aura seemed to declare:
Under heaven, is there soil that is not the king's?
On the shores of the realm, are there not ministers of the king?
All of you, are my subjects!
Overflowing domineering energy!
In that moment, he was king! (Note 1)
In that moment, he became an everlasting memory for the fans!
"Loved it, loved it… darling, I'm in love!"
"Little milk tiger — fierce-cute, fierce-cute; southern lads trembling???"
"I especially like Xia Qi answering the stadium's 'violence' with goals."
"Submit! Chelsea! You won't be the first nor the last."
"Huff…!"
Don't think Chelsea fans who cheered Xia Qi at first would "fall in love" with him.
That would be self-indulgent!
The more domineering Xia Qi is, the angrier they become.
The match referee ran over to warn Xia Qi not to provoke the fans.
"Referee sir, Xia Qi isn't provoking — he's thanking them for their assist. Xia Qi is only 18, young men are impetuous. Should we all be as jaded as you?"
Arteta, trailing behind Xia Qi, knew Xia Qi wouldn't defend himself and hurriedly explained to the referee on Xia Qi's behalf.
His eloquence made an approaching John Terry cover his face and walk away defeated.
Seeing Xia Qi head toward the center circle after the ref's admonition,
Chelsea fans angrily cursed:
"Fuck! They're really fucking beasts! Three of them and they couldn't stop him!"
"Shit! You think being a muscle monster makes you great? If you've got the guts, take him on. Shit! Shit! Shit! He actually did it!"
"Lampard and Mikel are useless — they don't go in hard enough. That said, that guy is really manly! He should come to Chelsea. Arsenal's too effeminate for his temperament."
Lampard: I'm innocent — I didn't have time to react, I got knocked away.
Mikel: Don't think Xia Qi is just iron-blooded — he staged the fall; I didn't assist in any conspiracy.
"Guys, are we cursing Xia Qi or praising him? I feel like we're complimenting him???"
There was one voice in the Chelsea stand fleeing with his head in his hands... emotional intelligence is a good thing — bring it when you go out!
On the touchline, Di Matteo's face was one of bitter grievance.
Is this the tactical mastermind the Premier League knows about????
Give me Xia Qi and I'd be the same!
Warriors, tonight's tactic is: give the ball to Xia Qi and you play spectator.
If so,
tie a dog to the coaching seat and it could win Manager of the Month.
Wenger didn't know Di Matteo's grievances. He turned to Pat Rice and said, "Didn't I say not to increase Xia Qi's strength for now?
Pat, trust me — although Cristiano Ronaldo is unique, Xia Qi doesn't need to become him. Whether Messi or Ronaldo, they're not reasons for Xia Qi to be someone else.
He's Xia Qi and shouldn't be the shadow of anyone!
Give me three years. In three years you'll see — when people look at Messi and Ronaldo they'll also look at him with that gaze, and you'll say Xia Qi is unique.
So please don't increase his strength, okay?
At least for now don't do it. Although tonight's Xia Qi was cool as hell — look at the bump on my forehead, you know how excited I am — still, stop the strength training, okay?"
Pat Rice looked up and wept. He felt he should ask Karim Benzema if he had any single sisters to marry into the Benzema family. Ever since coaching Xia Qi, the pots on his head had increased.
The match restarted,
and Chelsea attacked like mad dogs toward the Arsenal goal.
Di Matteo's grievance remained; so did his players'.
In their eyes, of Xia Qi's three goals, two were gifts from heaven.
And tonight Chelsea had played far better than Arsenal.
If not for the goddess of victory favoring the little milk tiger, they should have been leading now.
Hazard and Torres repeatedly battered down Arsenal's defensive line.
Especially Hazard's outside burst and cut-ins were dangerous.
Hazard who won't eat burgers is clearly world-class.
Lucky for Arsenal, their 21-year-old keeper Emiliano Martínez performed like Buffon tonight, denying two almost-certain Hazard goals.
Watching Arsenal fans boiling with excitement, the name Martínez circled over Stamford Bridge.
Chelsea fans asked around who this player was. They had to appreciate the depth of a big club.
Seeing Arsenal seemingly cursed, and first-, second-, even third-choice keepers injured, one might have thought destiny called Arsenal to fall into a top-four scrap. Instead, the fourth-choice keeper was a beast.
This is the essence of a big club.
Chelsea had Arsenal pinned down and rubbing them for seven or eight minutes.
Wenger didn't want to wait any longer.
The best defense is attack; Wilshere lacked inspiration; the counterattack wasn't sharp enough…
"Kevin!"
Kevin De Bruyne quickly took off his coat and stood.
"If you came on, what would you do?"
"As long as Balotelli can break free, my passes will find him."
"Why not Xia Qi?"
"Boss, this is football not rugby. Intelligent football is not inferior to power football. Of course if Xia Qi can break out of the trap I'll pass to him too."
That's the difference: De Bruyne sees the whole picture, more than Wilshere.
Wenger patted his back. "Go warm up."
(END CHAPTER)
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