Chapter 22 - 22

didn't want you involved. Every time your name was even brought up,

he worsened."

"And you never questioned that?"

Pace looked at her pityingly. "It's not as if you have any particular

experience with brain fevers."

Helena shook her head. Pace was wrong. She had a great deal of

recent experience with brain fevers. She knew exactly what caused them.

Animancy.

But that wasn't the only time she'd encountered brain fevers. She'd

seen them before that. The exact symptoms Pace had described. The

impossibly hot fevers, as if the mind were trying to burn something out

from inside it. The self-mutilation, screaming Get him out.

She'd seen all of it just before her father had been murdered.

At the field hospital.

But Luc had no talisman like those liches had. He had been checked

and rechecked. It would have been found.

. . . unless the talisman had not been coated in lumithium, which

would make it undetectable.

Morrough had captured Luc but hadn't killed him, and they'd

thought it was only because they'd arrived in time.

But maybe they'd been too late after all.

She jolted out of her seat. Pace reached out, trying to stay her, but

Helena bolted from the room, running through the hospital and straight

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to the war room. There was no one there except a cadet, who looked up

nervously and told her that she didn't have the clearance to be there.

She glared at him. "Do you know where Crowther is? It's urgent I

speak to him."

He shook his head, clearly sullen about guarding an empty room.

"No. They were looking for him earlier. Disappeared last night, it seems."

That made no sense.

It was as if she were standing a trap laid with dominoes. She could

feel them falling around her. Closing in.

"Do you know where Luc's battalion is?"

The boy rolled his eyes and drew himself up. "You don't have clear-

ance to— "

Helena eyed the map on the table. There was a golden flag amid the

sea of blue.

She turned and left before the cadet was done talking.

She ran to her lab, snatching up everything she could get her hands

on. First, her new set of knives. Then a couple of obsidian knives Shiseo

had been experimenting with. She ransacked her remaining healing

supplies.

Shiseo entered with a box from the off-site lab as she was cramming

a final vial into her overfilled satchel. He was probably the only person

who would take a warning from her without asking for proof or an ex-

planation.

"Get out of Headquarters," she said. "Take everything you can and

go back to the off-site lab. I'll send word if it's safe to come back. I can't

explain now, but something's about to go wrong."

She went to Crowther's office, but it was empty. Where was he?

There was no time to search. She headed out.

She traversed the island on foot. She knew from flyovers which parts

were still intact, and that she was headed in the right direction when the

air began to smell of smoke and burning flesh.

Whenever she spotted Resistance units, she asked for updates. Re-

ports were contradictory, but there were consistent stories of many

necrothralls dropping, leaving whole districts with only a few bewil-

dered Aspirants to defend them. They were making piles of the necro-

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thralls and burning them to ensure they couldn't be recovered and

reanimated.

With all the good news, Helena began to doubt herself. Was she

paranoid? It was going so well. She refused to turn back, though; she

had to find Luc.

A broad-shouldered commander that she vaguely recognised as part

of Luc's battalion stepped out of a building.

"Marino?" He said her name doubtfully.

"I need to see Luc," she said, gripping an obsidian knife in her pocket

so hard the handle bit into her skin.

"Well, he's not here, he's fighting," the man said.

She must seem insane. "I know, but it's urgent. I can work with the

medics on-site until he comes back."

The commander looked confused but didn't object.

Healing at the front had none of the organisation used in the hospi-

tal. Most of her work was stopping blood loss by stanching and closing

wounds, healing only the simple injuries. The priority was completing

the most urgent interventions and then sending the patients on to

Headquarters for full treatment.

The bombing was believed to be either an accident or act of sabotage.

No one even considered that the Resistance might have planted a bomb.

The miracles had begun, people were saying. The gods were on their

side.

Victory Day, they were already calling it. They'd retake the whole

city.

The injured combatants arriving slowed to a trickle because the bat-

talion had pushed so far into the West Island, no one was being brought

back.

The field commander was on the radio, wanting to know if they were

supposed to relocate closer to the action. They'd had no instructions

about whether to follow.

The current base of operations was in an old building on a mid-level

of the city. It had solid walls and small windows. It was a good place to

fall back, reasonably defensible. The air inside grew suffocating, warm

from bodies and motion. The medical transport lorry had departed for

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800 • SenLinYu

the hospital and not yet returned.

Helena was closing a deep cut along an inner thigh when someone

outside yelled, "They've taken Headquarters!"

Everyone looked up, staring at each other in confusion.

The lorry driver stumbled in, gasping for air, his head bleeding. "The

Undying have taken Headquarters!"

No one spoke for a moment as shock rippled through the room. In

all these years, Headquarters had never been touched. There were so

many protective measures in place. It was the most secure place in the

entire city.

Everyone seemed to snap back to life. There was a clamour of furious

voices, everyone descending on the driver, demanding information.

Helena pushed through, checking his head. He had a graze, and his

hands were torn up.

"I went through all the checkpoints," he said, allowing Helena to tilt

his head to the side and close the wound. "Showed my papers, got waved

through. Everything was—normal. Pulled in, the patients were being

unloaded." He mopped his forehead, smearing blood across his face.

"Quiet, though. Really quiet. I get fuckin' awkward when it's too quiet.

Always rather talk, you know? Asked a guard a question. No answer. I

thought all the blood on them was from carrying the wounded. Asked

another question. They started moving towards me. That's when I re-

alised. They were all greys. Fresh killed, still warm. I drove out—ran over

a few, didn't look back. First checkpoint, tried to report it. They weren't

talking, either. Barricade was up. So I ran. Didn't know where to go

except come back."

The building was palpably silent as everyone tried to absorb this. It

was beyond belief.

The Undying would have needed extensive information about their

security protocols to infiltrate, a spy with a high-level security clearance

to get in, and intimate knowledge to create necrothralls with the right

instructions. How could it have happened? With no word? No distress

signals?

The commander tried to contact Headquarters by radio, but there

was only static.

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"Signal to anyone you can, without setting off any alarms. You, you,

and you," said the field commander, pointing at several men. "Go check

the nearest checkpoint."

Only two men came back.

"They were all dead," said one, holding a hand against his stomach

where blood seeped through his fingers. "They were waiting for us."

The field commander sent out anyone capable of carrying word to

intercept and recall any units or lorries they encountered, and then he

sat down at the radio and began uttering a string of jargon into channel

after channel, arguing furiously with everyone who answered, because

no one wanted to believe the report.

The door burst open, and Luc strode in, Sebastian only a few steps

behind him, concealing a limp, the rest of the battalion milling behind

him.

Luc's face was pale and streaked with blood and smoke. Although he

looked skeletally thin, his eyes were blistering, a brilliant feverish blue,

but rather than acknowledge the field commander, his attention went

directly to Helena.

"What are you doing here?" he said.

She stood up. "I need to talk to you, Luc. Urgently."

He blinked and finally turned to his field commander, "Who let her

in here?"

Before anyone could respond, Helena spoke again.

"It's about Lila," she said.

The words worked like magic. Luc's attention snapped onto her, and

his throat dipped as his eyes darted around the room.

"Fine," he said after a beat, "Let's talk. Sebastian, get everyone ready

to move. We're retaking Headquarters."

"No, bring him, I'll heal him while we talk," Helena said. "It'll save

time."

Luc eyed her warily but nodded. He seemed so familiar, and yet—

there was something off about him.

You should have known. You should have noticed.

He turned to the field commander, who looked lost. "Take everyone

who can fight and start moving back towards Headquarters. Sebastian

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and I will follow."

There were rooms deeper in the warehouse that connected to the

next building, and as they walked there, Helena slipped one of the ob-

sidian knives into the waistband at the back of her skirt, hidden under

her jacket.

Sebastian had cracked ribs and a gash to the leg where a knife had

gotten through a weak point in his armour.

Helena gave him one of her last vials of medicine to help sustain the

amount of tissue and blood she was about to regenerate. Before she

could stop him, he unfastened and began removing his chest plate.

"What's wrong with Lila?" Luc asked the instant the door was shut

and the three of them were alone.

"Nothing," Helena said. "She's fine."

Anger lit Luc's face.

"I just didn't realise you knew about the baby," Helena said, meeting

his eyes.

Sebastian started. "What baby?"

Luc tensed enough that his armour clicked, but his expression was

controlled. He didn't even look at Sebastian.

"What baby?" Sebastian asked again.

"That's why you came here?" Luc asked, his blue eyes glinting cold.

"Because of that?"

Helen's heart was beating so fast, it was a thrum in her chest. "No, I

came because I don't understand why you wouldn't let me heal Titus but

you've been letting me take care of your heir."

"Luc, what did you do?" Sebastian said.

Luc ignored his paladin; all his focus was on Helena. "Lila can pro-

tect herself. You've already done enough to Titus."

Helena's throat closed, but in that moment, she knew: This was not

Luc.

She should have realised sooner, but she'd spent so much time fear-

ing his rejection, dreading the inevitable schism, that she had not ques-

tioned its happening.

She looked away. "You know, I was in one of the field hospitals dur-

ing the massacre. When the liches infiltrated using living bodies. Ap-

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parently, a living body won't accept another soul; it's like an infection,

the body tries to burn it out. That's why they came in sick with brain

fevers, screaming and clawing at themselves, saying Get him out until

they died."

She drew a slow breath as she finished healing Sebastian's leg. "Do

you know anyone who suffers from fevers like that, Luc?"

Sebastian had gone very still.

Luc shook his head. "Can't say I do."

He said it calmly, but there was a growing pressure in the air.

Helena found the cracks in Sebastian's rib. "You surrendered yourself

to save Lila. You knew it would cost everything, but you did it anyway.

You told me that you chose her as your paladin because you wanted her

by your side, so you'd have a chance of protecting her, even though you

knew you weren't supposed to. I know how it killed you every time she

got hurt. You didn't even want me to clear her for combat again after she

lost her leg," She kept looking for any glimmer of the person she knew.

"Now she's the mother of your child, and instead of getting her to safety,

you've kept her in isolation for months. And right this minute, you have

every reason to think she's been captured, that she'd be one of the first

people they'd kill, but instead of running to her, you're here with me.

Luc would never do that."

"Luc, what have you done?" Sebastian was staring at him in horror.

Helena asked, "Who are you?"

It was like watching a curtain being pulled back.

One moment, the expression and characteristics were still there, and

then Luc sighed and seemed to vanish beneath his own skin.

"Well." He grinned at them both, a smile like a slit throat. "I thought

you'd realise months ago, but you're all such fools when it comes to the

Holdfasts."

Sebastian trembled beneath Helena's fingers as they both stared at

this thing standing in front of them.

Helena's hand slipped to her back. "Who are you?" she asked again.

"I've gone by so many names, I don't even remember them all," said

the person in Luc's body. "Once, long ago, my brother called me Cetus."

Helena's eyes widened.

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"Cetus?" she said.

He inclined his head, but she shook hers.

That would make him older than Paladia, older than the Holdfasts,

older than the first Necromancy War. No one could live that long. Cetus

was an invention, centuries of alchemists pseudonymously writing

under one name. Not a person.

It had to be a lie, an attempt to distract her.

"I checked Luc," Helena said, trying to keep her voice steady. "There

was no talisman. How is this possible?"

"Cetus" tilted his head to one side so that Luc's neck popped, as if

Luc's body were a suit of armour that didn't fit properly.

"My brother and I were born entwined. We entered the world as one

when we slid from our mother's womb. We'd sucked her dry from

within, and the fires of her pyre licked across our skin, branding us from

birth. Cursed children, they called us, when they called us anything at

all. Our shared blood has endured for centuries and now we're one

again, as we always should have been." He gestured down at himself.

"You're—related to Luc?" Helena said in disbelief.

The smile split Luc's face again.

"You should have seen Orion. He had such a way about him. People

worshipped the ground he walked on. He could charm with a look. He

found us sponsors, lodging, funds so I could do the Great Work and he

could find audiences to adore him. He would do anything for adoration,

and I taught him the tricks to do it. Gold and fire, and he thought that

should be enough for us; we could buy ourselves a kingdom." Cetus

looked scornful. "But I had greater aspirations. Kings and kingdoms rise

and fall. We were made for eternity, my brother and I, we were gods.

"I lacked my brother's natural charm, but I'm a fair actor. Orion drew

so much attention, most overlooked me, so I pretended to be Orion,

coaxed just a few of his followers into cooperation. I needed trust, the

kind that he earned so easily. It was necessary for my work, and he had

always benefitted most, but when Orion learned what I'd done, the

source of this new power, he called me a monster and left me. I knew

he'd come back, once I discovered the true secrets of immortality. When

he realised that humans were mere puppets and saw what I could offer,

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he would beg for me to take him back."

"You were the Necromancer," Helena said, realising. "The one who

built the cult in Rivertide. After you made that Stone, you called Orion

here, but when he saw what you'd done, he tried to kill you."

Rage flashed across Cetus's face. "His mind was poisoned by those

paladins of his. If he'd come alone, he would have seen reason—"

"Why did you come back now?" Helena asked. "You disappeared for

half a millennium. The Holdfasts don't want anything from you. Why

are you helping Morrough?"

She studied Luc, or what was left of him. Gaunt, sweated down to

nearly bone. He was dying; it was just a slower death than what she'd

witnessed in the field hospital.

Luc laughed. It was the timbre and note she'd heard a thousand

times over the years, but the malice and mockery in it were all new. "I

am Morrough."

Sebastian shot to his feet, but before he had even drawn a weapon,

Luc had his sword out and stopped him, tsking.

"A piece of him, I should say. When young Luc so boldly surren-

dered himself, I was curious how alike we were. I have lived for so long

now, and he was so—fresh. I bound a piece of my soul to my bone and

placed it inside him. I'd hoped he would accept me—hoped that we

could be one as my brother and I should have been—but he's as self-

righteous as Orion. It's fortunate that healer Boyle is so eager to please,

she keeps him sedated for me."

"Luc's still alive then?" Helena voice shook.

"Of course. This is his body after all." Morrough, or Cetus, or who-

ever he was, gestured downwards. "I'm just a shadow in the back of his

mind, or I would have been, if he hadn't gone so mad trying to tear me

out that they drugged him to a stupor. Gave me free rein."

"You're puppetting him like a necrothrall? Is that how you infiltrated

Headquarters?"

Luc's features twisted in offence. "I'm not a puppet. I know what's in

the interest of my primary self, and I have found the means of pursuing

it. You can kill me, and it'll do nothing—only Luc will die. As for your

Headquarters—" He shook his head. "It seems that young Luc isn't your

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806 • SenLinYu

only traitor."

"But what is all this for?" Helena asked. Apollo, Luc, Lila . . . she

couldn't understand. "Why come back to Paladia after all these centu-

ries?"

"Because I want to erase my brother's legacy the same way he de-

stroyed mine." Fury swept across Luc's face. "He tried to blot my name

from history, to discredit any of my work that he couldn't steal and

claim as his own. Attributed my discoveries to charlatans, taking my

research and making himself a god with it. It's only fair to return the

favour."

Helena shook her head. She didn't believe that. Morrough had too

many opportunities to wipe out the Holdfasts; even Kaine had re-

marked on it, that Luc was being intentionally spared.

She thought of Luc, cut open on that table, all those decaying organs

inside him.

"You're dying," she said. "Your original body, wherever it is. You came

to Paladia because all the power in the world isn't enough to keep re-

generating forever. There's a limit and you've reached it and you can't

push beyond that no matter how much vitality and how many souls you

harvest. When you had Apollo killed, you took his heart, and when you

had Luc, we couldn't heal his organ damage because those organs were

yours. You're harvesting Orion's descendants for parts. And—" It

dawned on her slowly. "—that's—that's why Lila's pregnant. You're

making yourself another a descendant. That's why you wouldn't let her

go to Novis: because you'll need that baby next."

Cetus stared at her, a bizarre look of calculation in Luc's eyes. "You're

clever," he said. "The Holdfasts had no idea what they'd found when

they imported you. An indentured animancer. Perhaps Apollo was more

cunning than I realised. I knew what you were the moment you reached

in with your resonance—if I hadn't thrown you across the room, you

would have found me. Pity really. I had no choice but to have you sent

off to the front. Matias was so happy to oblige. But somehow you came

crawling back like a cockroach."

Cetus smiled, a cruel glint in his eyes that Luc had never possessed.

"Never mind, though. I'm glad I get to do this personally. Sebastian"—he

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looked at Luc's last remaining paladin—"you're finally going to die pro-

tecting a Holdfast from a necromancer."

Luc moved so fast. There was a shriek of metal as Sebastian drew his

weapon and blocked the attack. The room was small. Helena flung her-

self out of the way as Sebastian shoved Cetus back, drawing another

weapon, slamming the hilt down on Luc's hand before he could unleash

a wave of fire.

Luc's body was weak, tired from battle, and dying, and Sebastian was

a fury unlike anything Helena had ever seen before. In an instant he'd

hammered Luc into a corner, smashing through his defences, raising his

arm to make a killing blow.

The instant before Sebastian brought his weapon down, Cetus's ex-

pression morphed, mockery vanishing as it became Luc's face, blue eyes

wide in shock.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Sebastian hesitated for less than an instant, and Luc's knife sank into

the base of Sebastian's throat. There was no armour to stop it. Cetus

dragged the blade down, sundering Sebastian's ribs and gutting him.

Sebastian fell without a sound.

Cetus didn't even watch Sebastian die; he'd already turned to Hel-

ena. "Your turn."

He was blocking the door, and if she screamed, no one who came

would take her word over Luc's.

As Cetus came towards her, she focused on everything that Kaine

had ever drilled into her. She needed direct contact.

An instant would be enough.

He swung his sword at her head, but he was tired, his hand injured

by Sebastian. The blow was slow and weak. She whipped out one of her

titanium knives and managed to transmute it quickly enough to block

the blow.

Cetus's knife flashed, Sebastian's blood spattering, aimed at her

throat. With her other hand, she slammed the hilt of her obsidian knife

into his wrist. The sight of black glass captured Cetus's focus. Helena

dropped her titanium knife, her empty hand shooting out, her palm

against his forehead, fingers tangling in his hair.

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Her resonance slammed into his head with the force of an arrow,

using the same trick of paralysis that Kaine had used on her so long ago.

The knife and sword in Luc's hands clattered to the floor, and his

knees gave out. She let him slide to the ground, her palm still firmly

pressed against his skull, shoving her resonance deep into his mind.

Helena had never been inside Luc's consciousness, but she knew

from her interrogation work that a mind was like a home. It had the

feeling of the person. Luc's mind was like walking into a house and

finding the walls covered in blood and torn apart. A parasite had grown

through his consciousness and fed on every glimmer of the person who

should be there.

Cetus had cannibalised Luc, wearing him like a skin.

She ripped her consciousness back out and nearly doubled over with

nauseous horror.

Cetus's eyes danced even though his face was strained by his inabil-

ity to breathe.

"Luc, come back," Helena asked, her voice tremulous. "I know there's

still a part of you in there. It's Hel. Come back. I'll help you."

She moved the paralysis enough to let Luc breathe.

Cetus studied her with interest. He was not afraid at all. "You're tal-

ented. If you joined me, your abilities would be valued."

She stared coldly at him. "Let me talk to Luc."

There was a strange hunger in his eyes. "You're the one making that

obsidian, aren't you? I should have realised. Crowther was so tight-

lipped. Tell me, how do you do it?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Let me talk to Luc, and I'll tell you."

Anger flashed across Cetus's face. "Why bother with him? He's weak

and useless just like Orion, so satisfied with mere tricks that he sup-

pressed his true power, denying his animancy."

"Luc is an animancer?" she said in shock.

Cetus's expression was jeering. "You never noticed? Never felt the

way he could alter a room, entrance an audience?"

Yes, but she'd always assumed that was related to his pyromancy. The

feeling of pressure that could come over her when he was upset. She

shook her head.

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"That's not animancy."

"It's a form of it, one Orion was especially talented in. He wanted

people to love him and he made sure they did, while he repressed and

rejected all the rest of it. And then hunted everyone else with similar

abilities out of existence."

She shook her head again, but Luc had always had an uncanny mag-

netism. She had never questioned it. Had he even known?

"Let me talk to Luc," she said again, "and I'll tell you how to make

the obsidian."

Cetus's expression morphed. "Hel?" The voice was wavering.

Helena's finger clenched into a fist, closing his throat, choking him.

She shook him. "That's not Luc. You think I can't tell? Give me Luc."

Cetus glared at her, and his eyes rolled back. This time Helena felt a

shift through his mind as though something were being ripped out

from beneath layers of membrane.

Cetus gave a ragged groan, and his eyes rolled dazedly back into

focus.

Luc's face drained of all colour.

"Run," Luc rasped. "Hel, run. He's going to kill you."

"No, I'm not going anywhere," Helena said, wanting to cry. "I've got

you. I'm here now. I'm sorry I'm so late."

She sensed the landscape of Luc's mind shifting again. That he was

being dragged back under, but she'd paid attention, found the shape of

Cetus, how he was entwined through Luc. After years as a healer,

months of interrogations, and the difficult task of learning to sense Li-

la's baby— one spark of life hidden inside another—her resonance was

surgical. It wrapped around Cetus, crushing him into submission.

Luc's eyes went out of focus, and he gave a pained gasp, wavering as

if he were about to faint.

"Luc?" Helena said sharply. "Luc, focus. Listen to me. I am going to

figure out a way to save you. I'll get rid of him."

Her voice was shaking, as her focus was split between talking to Luc

and trying to keep Cetus at bay without injuring Luc further. "I just

need you to hold on a little longer."

"Hel . . ." Luc's voice was barely more than a whisper. "I tried to—

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fight— He killed Ilva."

"I'm so sorry." Tears welled up in her eyes and fell onto his face. "I'm

going to fix this. I promise."

Luc shook his head. "No. Kill me, it's the only way to stop him."

"No!" she said sharply. "Look at me. I'm going to save you. That's why

I became a healer, remember? So that someday, when you needed me, I

could save you."

He didn't seem to hear her. He was talking, the words all coming out

in a rush.

"Lila—she thought he was me—"

"I'm sorry." She didn't know what else she could say.

His jaw trembled. "Don't tell her."

"You're not going to die, Luc."

Her mind felt as if it were about to rip in two from the effort of

keeping Cetus subdued.

She could barely see straight.

"You have a chance. Kill him. No one else can— "

"No— "

There was a knife in Luc's hand. She saw it too late.

She was so focused on keeping Cetus back, she'd let the paralysis

slip.

She didn't think.

She blocked it on instinct and completed the parry exactly the way

Kaine had taught her to: a quick sweep of her knife, so fast it knocked

the blade from his fingers. In the same motion, the obsidian knife sank

to the hilt into the left side of Luc's chest, in the place under the arm

where the armour was weak.

He gave a guttural gasp, body seizing uncontrollably. Helena gave a

panicked scream as he collapsed in her arms.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry," he said.

She ripped the knife out, wrenching his armour out of the way with

her resonance, trying to reach the wound.

"No! No, no. Don't do this to me. Luc, don't." She closed the wound

as quickly as she could. It only took seconds to stop the bleeding and

repair the place where her knife had sliced an aorta.

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Fingers clamped around her throat, digging into her trachea, and she

looked into Cetus's expression of pure hatred.

"You stupid—bitch," he said as she felt a quick pulse of that dead

energy.

Luc's face cleared as he gave a gasp of relief.

"Got him," Luc said, letting go of her, forcing a smile.

Before Helena could speak, there was a hard knock on the door.

"Principate, are you all right?"

Helena expected the door to burst open, for the room to fill with

soldiers who'd find her kneeling over Luc with a bloody knife while

Sebastian lay slaughtered beside them.

"I'm fine," Luc immediately called, his voice straining. "Be out soon."

The footsteps retreated, but Luc wasn't fine.

Helena had closed the wound, there was nothing physically wrong

with him, but she knelt there and felt that he was dying. It was happen-

ing slowly. Not a sudden cold pulse, but as if he were bleeding to death,

his vitality slipping out rather than blood.

There was no cause for it, nothing to fix, but she felt it through her

resonance. As though he were unravelling.

"What's happening?" Her fingers scrabbled, trying to find a way to

fix it, but she had never encountered a death like this.

His hand closed over hers, squeezing tight enough to stop her reso-

nance. "It's all right."

"No, it's not," she said, trying to pull her hands free. "I can figure this

out. But if you'd given me time—I would've—"

"I died months ago, Hel—" he said, his breathing forced.

"No— you're still alive—I'll fix this if you just—" She tried to pull

her hand free.

"Stop," he said more forcefully, pulling her close and making her

look at him, at his gaunt, nearly skeletal face. "Listen to me. You have to

get out of here before anyone realises. I'll help you. I think I can last that

long. Get Lila, take her far away, where Cetus—Morrough—whatever

he is, can't find her. She won't leave if I'm still alive."

"She won't leave if you're dead, either. You'll come with us. We'll all

go. I'll heal you, and then—"

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812 • SenLinYu

Luc swallowed hard. "She has another—another Holdfast to pro-

tect. Not me—anymore."

Helena shook her head. "Luc, don't do this to me."

"I'm sorry. It shouldn't be you, but it has to be."

She tried to touch him again, to try to push his life back where it was

seeping out through his skin.

"We have to go now." His voice rose, hard and commanding. He

shook her as if trying to startle her into compliance. "Get Sebastian up.

People will notice if he's not with me."

She stared at him, before looking to Sebastian lying in a pool of

blood.

"Y-You want me to use necromancy?"

"We have to leave together," Luc said, the remaining traces of colour

draining from his face as he pushed himself up, strapping his armour

back on. "Get him up."

Her heart was in her throat as she closed the wounds on Sebastian,

regenerating only as much as was necessary, and brought him to his feet.

She had learned her lesson reanimating Soren. She was careful and

brought back only a shadow.

He stood up, blank- eyed. Empty. She put his armour back on to hide

the blood.

She braced herself as she looked towards Luc.

Luc sat looking at his last paladin with open grief, but when his eyes

rested on her, there was only that same sadness "You've always done the

worst things because of me."

The words cut her to the quick. She should have known. She should

have known Luc better, enough to know he wouldn't turn on her like

that. He was too faithful.

She drew a harsh breath. "I promised I'd do anything for you."

She helped him stand, and he pulled her closer, into a hard hug. His

chin resting on the top of her head.

Helena's eyes were burning. His armour dug in through her uniform

hard enough to leave bruises behind. His hand clutched at her shoulder

as he caught his breath and opened the door.

He straightened as they walked out. The warehouse was mostly

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Alchemised • 813

abandoned; only a few of the uninjured lingered, waiting for Luc. Ev-

eryone was blood- spattered; they barely noticed the fresh blood on Luc

or Sebastian. They all stood at attention.

Luc walked with his head high, shoulders squared, his shrunken

frame naturally falling into the posture he'd been raised to assume.

"Sebastian and I are heading out," he said. "You all stay here; this is a

solid base, and we need it to remain defended. If we can't recover Head-

quarters, we'll depend on places like this for our forces to fall back to."

"But— " one of the soldiers started.

"Those are my orders," Luc said. Beads of sweat formed along his

temples, and Helena could feel him wavering, fading away, that cold

energy seeping into the air around him. "Sebastian, with me. Marino,

you too."

They made it up one street and around a corner into a narrow alley

between two towers before Luc's legs failed. He was too heavy for Hel-

ena alone; Sebastian had to catch him, dragging him out of sight.

Luc sank against the wall, his breath shallow as he blinked up at the

little bits of sky visible overhead between the towering buildings.

"Is it dawn?" he asked, his voice almost wondering.

Helena nodded. "First light."

He exhaled. "We were—going to see the world together, remember?"

His fingers scrabbled to find hers, his eyes still on the sky.

She took his hand, squeezing tightly, as if she could keep him longer

if she held on.

"Never did see Etras . . ." he said, his voice faint. "Sorry. Promised

I'd— take you back."

"It's all right," she said.

"Will you—take care of Lila? And the baby?"

She nodded.

"Don't tell Lila—"

"I won't."

His hand trembled in hers. "Promise . . . ?"

She swallowed hard. "I promise."

He said nothing else. When she looked up, his eyes were unseeing,

the dawn reflecting in the empty blue.

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CHAPTER 64

Augustus 1787

Helena left Sebastian with Luc, pulling free the reanima-

tion and leaving the two of them hidden in the alley.

Her only thoughts were of Lila.

The air was thick with smoke and blood. She could hear fighting as

she moved through the city, trying to stay out of sight. She couldn't save

everyone. Anyone.

She had to reach Lila.

She neared the last wall that was intended to mark Resistance terri-

tory. There were necrothralls guarding it. Familiar faces. The field com-

mander from Luc's unit with a gash in his skull that showed brain tissue

underneath.

Kaine had said no one paid close attention to whose necrothralls

were whose. A necrothrall was presumed to belong to one of the Undy-

ing. If she pulled the reanimation from a few, she could use them to

escort her into Headquarters as a prisoner, but these were too well

armed.

She needed easier targets. She turned and fled, hiding in buildings,

climbing and descending old stairs and evacuation ladders, trying to

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Alchemised • 815

find a way back to Headquarters. The combatants all had harnesses that

they used to swing and rappel through the streets, navigating the levels

of the city easily, but she had to find a route on foot.

The necrothralls kept tailing her. She could tell she was being herded,

hunted with persistence predation. She could not out-endure the dead.

She hid, crouching behind a pillar half covered in rubble, trying to

catch her breath.

Footsteps came nearer. Her heartbeat was a drum. She drew a gasp-

ing breath and jumped up, fleeing her hiding spot. She ran straight into

one of the Undying, all in black.

Before she could react, a large hand gripped her head, and every-

thing went dark.

Helena woke with a panicked gasp. Kaine was leaning over her, his

fingers as the base of her head. She jerked away, eyes roaming, not rec-

ognising where she was. Her head was swimming.

"It's all right. You're safe," he said.

She stared up at him in confusion, trying to remember how she'd

gotten there.

Everything came rushing back. Luc. Luc was dead.

She'd killed him.

The memory was like being punched in the throat.

"What—what happened?" Her mouth was dry. She looked dazedly

around, trying to pinpoint their location.

Kaine's fingers slipped away from the back of her head. His expres-

sion was calm, but his eyes were furious.

"The war is over," he said. "The Undying have taken the city, includ-

ing your Headquarters. The remaining Resistance factions are cornered;

if they don't surrender, they'll be buried in rubble by the day's end."

She pushed herself up, too dazed to think clearly. She'd been trying

to reach Lila . . . and then? She couldn't remember anymore.

Kaine began pacing around the room.

"How did this even happen? What kind of plan was stretching your-

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816 • SenLinYu

selves across the entire city and leaving your Headquarters unguarded?

And where the fuck is Holdfast?"

Helena flinched. "He's dead."

Kaine froze and turned sharply. "What do you mean?"

Helena stared down at her hands. She was in the same clothes. Luc's

blood was among the stains, but she couldn't pick out which ones be-

longed to him. She couldn't bring herself to speak.

"How?" Kaine asked.

She swallowed. "It was—an accident."

She told him everything. What she'd realised, and who it had been,

and everything over the months. That Luc tricked her, and she'd reacted,

and then it was too late.

"I tried to heal him . . ." she said, her voice shaking. "But it was like

there wasn't enough of him left to hold on. He was unravelling and I

couldn't— " Her chest seized, threatening to crack. "I was supposed to save

him—" The words came out a whisper.

Her throat contracted and her whole body shook and she couldn't

make herself speak. Kaine was silent until she managed to compose

herself again.

"Morrough must be so old," she said. "Paladia's more than five hun-

dred years old."

"This whole war was just two brothers fighting over who gets to play

god?" Kaine gave a disbelieving, bitter laugh. "You think you're picking

a side, and you're just on the opposite end of the same fucking coin."

Helena didn't speak, gripping the blankets draped over her until her

knuckles turned white. She had to get up, but she felt like glass a breath

away from shattering. "I have to get Lila."

"The war is over, Helena."

She flinched at the way he said her name. That he'd used it to say

that.

"I know," she said, going hot and cold all over. "You don't need to tell

me. I know we've lost!"

She pressed her lips together, grinding the heels of her hands against

her eyes as she tried to control herself.

"I'm not saying it's not over." Her voice still shook. "But we have the

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Alchemised • 817

obsidian now, we can both make it, and if we're more covert—we could

still bleed him dry by killing off the Undying."

"There is no 'we' anymore," Kaine said. "You're leaving Paladia."

She looked up sharply. He stood over her, arms crossed.

"I'll kill them, but you're done. Holdfast is dead. The Eternal Flame

is gone. It's time for you to go."

She shook her head. "I can't leave you here."

His expression was hard as stone. "I don't want you here. It'll be

easier for me to work if Morrough assumes a complete victory."

Helena's jaw tensed. "Fine," she finally said in a tight voice. "I'll col-

laborate long-distance initially, if you think that'll make things easier."

"Good." He stepped back, turning away. "I'll have everything ar-

ranged."

She watched him warily, not sure she believed him. Reasonable as it

was, she knew he'd already wanted her out of Paladia. There were no

other choices, though. She had to get Lila to safety. Until Lila was se-

cure, Helena had no room to negotiate.

"I'm only going if Lila's with me," she said.

Kaine rocked back. "No chance. If she goes missing, they'll hunt her

across the continent. She's not worth it."

Helena stood. "I'm not asking. I have to take her. If she's not with

me, I won't leave. I promised Luc I'd take care of her. She's been under

quarantine at the top of the Alchemy Tower. They might not have found

her yet. The sooner we go, the better our chances are of getting her with-

out being noticed. We could—we can find a body and I'll use vivimancy,

disguise it, so it looks like her. No one will know she's gone."

Something about Kaine suddenly shifted, a tension around his

mouth.

"You can take me as a prisoner, use that as an excuse to go inside. It's

only been a few hours—"

"Helena . . ."

He said her name slowly, a note of warning but also a plea in the way

he said it. His eyes flicked around the room, pausing briefly on the cur-

tains. Her voice died. Half in a daze, she stood up and walked forward,

pushing the curtain back. It was dark outside.

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818 • SenLinYu

It was night.

But how could it be night? It had been dawn; the sun was just rising

when Luc died.

"How . . . how long did you keep me unconscious?" Her voice shook.

"How—how long has it been?"

He gave no reply.

She turned and lunged for the door, but he caught her, dragging her

back. "I can explain—"

She struggled, trying to rip herself free. "What did you do?" Her

voice rose. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"Listen." He shook her, and there was a wildness to his eyes. "After

the bomb went off, when the Resistance began to attack, Morrough had

everyone remaining fall back. They knew your numbers, how many

combatants you had left. It was obvious that Headquarters would be

vulnerable. They expected an attack before Hevgoss arrived—they were

waiting for it. They had someone on the inside. Once your forces had

been lured onto the West Island, they sent us to infiltrate. When I got

there, you were missing. No one knew where you'd gone. I abandoned

my post to find you. Once I had you safe, I had to go back."

"So you— left me here for how long? A day?" Her voice was raw with

betrayal.

"I came back as soon as I could."

She started to tremble, her body going into shock. "I was going to

get Lila. That's where I was headed, but I kept getting cut off—and— "

She flinched. "That was you, wasn't it? You knocked me out. You didn't

even— "

All those necrothralls tailing her. He'd killed those soldiers, set them

up, all watching and waiting for her. There was so much blood on his

hands.

He cradled her face with them. "What did you expect me to do? Let

you walk back into that massacre? The orders were to kill anyone who

tried to resist."

"Are they all—?" She couldn't even finish the question. It didn't mat-

ter. "I won't leave without Lila. You can help me or I'll go alone, but I'm

going back for her."

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Alchemised • 819

Kaine was unmoved. "If you want Morrough defeated, there's no

rescuing anyone."

"We won't defeat him if we don't rescue Lila. She's pregnant. Mor-

rough needs another Holdfast, and Lila's the one carrying it. I promised

Luc I'd get her out—it was the last thing I told him before he died. It

was all that mattered to him."

"Why should I care about what Holdfast wanted?" he said, his voice

implacable.

He was not going to do this. Not even for her.

Her chest tightened. She could feel her ribs curved around her heart

like a cage.

You always lose.

Everyone you love dies.

"Because if you do, I'll stop—everything," she said. "I'll leave, and I

won't come back. Just like you want, if you'll help me get Lila Bayard.

Whatever you want. Anything you ask. I'll do it, I swear."

Her fingers shook as she reached out for him.

"Please."

He'd gone very still. "Will you?"

She nodded. "Yes . . ." Her voice struggled and failed. "Yes, I prom-

ise."

He studied her, eyes narrowed and calculating. "Those are your

terms? The Bayard girl, and then you'll do anything I ask?"

Her throat closed. "Yes. Anything you ask. I swear."

He nodded slowly. "All right. If those are your terms, I'll get her for

you."

Helena gave a shuddering gasp of relief. "Thank you."

He just nodded, but he seemed distracted. She waited to hear how

they'd do it but, he was silent, just studying at her.

"What do you need me to do?" she finally asked.

Irritation instantly flashed across his face. "Stay here."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "But I could help. I can—"

"I don't need help."

When she opened her mouth to argue, he looked her up and down.

"You're too memorable. It'll be easier for me to look for her alone. If you

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820 • SenLinYu

want me to get her out, stay here and let me work in peace without suc-

cumbing to your desperate need to insert yourself into everything I do."

She tried to protest, and he raised a finger, pointing it at her face.

"If you leave this suite while I'm gone. If I have even the slightest

inkling that you're trying to help me in any way, I will come back and

the deal will be off. Do you understand? Stay here."

Her jaw tensed, throat tightening, but she nodded.

"There's food in the cupboard. Keep the curtains closed. It shouldn't

take too long."

"Where is this?" she asked, looking around.

He sighed. "This was the suite of the Hevgotian ambassador, who

tragically died in a recent explosion."

"The one you were—?"

He nodded and left without another word.

Helena waited. Kaine had recovered her satchel when he'd appre-

hended her, and she took inventory of her remaining supplies. She was

out of most things beyond what she kept for Kaine. She went through

it carefully, hoping he wouldn't need any of it when he got back with

Lila.

There was a good chance Lila would be injured. She wouldn't let

herself be taken without a fight. How would Kaine convince her to

cooperate?

Helena stood and went to the door but refrained from touching it.

Surely he had a plan.

She went back to inventorying. Kaine had put her knives back into

the outer pocket.

She tried to keep herself busy, because if she stopped to think, her

grief and guilt would crush her to death. Luc. It was all her fault. She

could have saved him if she'd only noticed. Now, she was leaving every-

one behind, knowing what was likely to happen to them.

All her worst fears coming true and there was nothing she could do.

You can't save everyone. You never could.

This was the only way.

Once Lila was safely away, if Kaine could slowly kill off the Undying,

eventually the nightmare would end.

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Alchemised • 821

Time seemed to crawl past. Helena showered, washing away the

blood and grime from the city. Luc's blood. Sebastian's blood.

She found clothes in the wardrobe. Hevgotian traditional clothing,

which involved an unexpected number of tassels. In the cupboard was

bread and very strong, hard cheese, which she forced herself to eat even

though everything tasted like chalk in her mouth.

She was about to ignore Kaine's orders and go looking for him any-

way when the door abruptly swung open and Kaine walked in, Lila

hanging limp in his arms. Her prosthetic was gone, and there were

metal bands locked around both her wrists.

Helena flung herself across the room as he laid Lila on the bed.

Helena searched for any signs of injury, but Lila was not injured at

all beyond a few bruises. As Helena searched her, her resonance failed

at Lila's wrists, and she realised they were alchemy-suppressing cuffs.

They were crudely made; she would only need a few tools to get

them off.

"Was she still in the Tower?" she asked as she pushed an eyelid open,

trying to pinpoint whether Lila had been physically knocked out or

sedated.

"No," Kaine said. "They'd already transported her when I got there."

The alchemy suppression was external, and since the effects were at

Lila's hands, Helena could still use her resonance everywhere else.

"Where was she?" she asked, checking for the baby's heartbeat.

"They'd taken her to Bennet's lab, but I was able to retrieve her. We

need to move quickly now. You both need to be out of the city before

dawn."

Helena was so panicked over Lila that she didn't immediately notice

that there was something unnerving about Kaine's voice. She looked up.

He was staring at her with a look that was almost starved; she'd never

seen him look that way before.

Reaching out, she took his hand, feeling for any sign of injury. He

wasn't hurt, though. His pale hair was smoke- stained, but he looked

unscathed. And yet there was something off about his expression.

"What's wrong?" she asked, standing up, forgetting Lila.

The corner of his mouth curved into a wistful smile, and he inhaled.

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822 • SenLinYu

"Kaine?" She searched his face. "What happened?"

He stared at the floor a moment before finally meeting her eyes. "I

blew my cover getting the Bayard girl for you."

The world stopped spinning. Time stalling as the air froze, and it was

just them, and nothing else existed.

"What?" She tried again, shaking her head. "You—you what?"

She was certain she was misunderstanding him, but it was there in

his eyes. He was saying goodbye to her.

She shook her head again. "No."

He said nothing. Her protest vanished into the silence replaced by a

horrible, waiting stillness, like the space between slowing heartbeats,

when a heart finally stops. The sound of ending.

"No," she said, her voice straining, breaking the quiet again, refusing

to believe him.

"There wasn't any other way," he said gently, catching her by the arm

as she swayed.

Her heart had started to beat again, and now it was beating faster

and faster. She kept shaking her head, backing away from him, her eyes

going for the door, looking for an escape, a way out. This was not hap-

pening.

He caught her, held her by the shoulders. "You know they've been

looking for the spy. There were counter-espionage measures in place at

the lab, and there wasn't time to find a way past them. To get to Bayard,

there are entry records indicating that I was there, that I entered a labo-

ratory with highly controlled access. I couldn't burn down the building

and fight my way out carrying an unconscious, pregnant woman. When

the next security shift begins tomorrow, the lab will be found and the

records will show that I was the only one who left alive."

She shook her head again, twisting free. "No. No, we can go back."

She turned to get her satchel. "There must be a way to destroy the re-

cords— I can— "

He jerked her back, his expression set. "You're leaving, remember?

That was the deal you made, Marino. I met the terms."

Helena gave a low, pained sound as she shrank away from him.

His eyes were aglow, as if he were willing her to understand. His

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Alchemised • 823

gaze flickered across her face as if trying to take it in, memorising her,

because this was the end. The last time he'd ever see her.

She might have forgiven him for that, but the adoration in his eyes

was tempered by a sharp-edged triumph. The satisfaction of getting his

way.

"Anything I wanted if I went and got Bayard for you; those were your

terms."

He would have hurt her less if he'd reached in and ripped her heart

out.

"You gave your word," he said, when she refused to reply, his voice

hardening.

"No— " Her voice broke.

His expression softened as she stopped struggling. "We had a good

run, but we were never going to last." His fingers slipped a loose curl

behind her ear before his hand drifted down to rest briefly at the base

of her throat. "You knew that."

"Kaine, please, let me—" she started, her voice shaking.

His expression turned cold again. "Anything I wanted. It was your

deal."

Her lungs were beginning to burn. She tried again to pull away, but

she couldn't breathe. The crisp edges of him were blurring. He was

speaking, but the words were growing rounded.

Kaine pulled her closer, and the cold, determination on his face was

shifting into worry.

"Helena— breathe."

Her vision tunnelled, all darkness except him.

He shook her. "Helena— don't— come on— breathe— Helena,

please . . ."

Her fingers grasped at him as she fought to speak.

"No— " Her voice was broken. "—don't do this to me."

The devastation swallowed her like a tidal wave, and he vanished.

When she regained consciousness, Kaine was leaning over her once

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824 • SenLinYu

again. She stared at him. Her left arm hurt as if there was a deep bruise

just below the shoulder. Her body felt wrong. Numb. Her mind slug-

gish.

She blinked, and even that took effort and concentration. Then ev-

erything came back with almost violent anguish.

She struggled to focus. The pain in her arm was likely some kind of

injected sedative. Kaine had drugged her, but there was also a mineral

salt aftertaste on her tongue that she recognised as her tablets. He'd

used them to erase the panicked surge of adrenaline, to set her heart at

a slow, steady rhythm. He'd made her calm and malleable.

She glared up at him, trying to find words.

"I'm never going to forgive you for this," she finally managed. The

words came out slurred, giving them an irregular lilt.

Kaine's lips tightened into a flat line, but then he nodded. "I know

you won't, but you'll be alive and away from the war. Those were always

my terms."

Helena went silent, trying to think despite being transmuted to the

verge of incoherence.

There was a well of rage seething through her that she couldn't quite

reach, as if it were just beyond her fingertips.

She had to think slowly, laboriously, struggling to keep her focus

razor-sharp because when she let it falter, her thoughts turned nebu-

lous. She was surreptitious as she curled her fingers against her palm,

just enough to send her resonance through her own body, trying to re-

verse Kaine's tampering, but it had settled.

"If you die, who's going to stop Morrough?" Her voice was dull.

His expression turned cold. "He can have Paladia for all I care. If the

Eternal Flame wanted to win, they should have made better choices.

They all knew the risks, but that was never enough incentive for them.

They refused to pay the price that victory demands, and I am sick of

watching you try to pay it for them."

He tried to take her hand, but she recoiled from him. Hurt flashed

in his eyes, but he swallowed, his jaw set.

"It's time to go," he said.

"No."

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Alchemised • 825

His eyes narrowed and grew flintlike. "You gave your word."

Helena inhaled through clenched teeth. "I know. And I will go, per

your demands, but I need to speak with—Shiseo. If I can teach him

how to use the obsidian I have left, he can pass on the information to

the survivors, and then at least they'll have a chance—"

"You gave your word."

Helena met his eyes. "You know I will always choose the Eternal

Flame first."

He stared at her, eyes widening as if she'd struck him. His mouth

pressed into a hard line, and his gaze dropped. She watched his throat

dip, and she kept talking.

"If you force me to leave without speaking to Shiseo, the last thing

you will ever do is betray me and everyone I love. A traitor is all you'll

be to me, but if you let me do this, maybe—someday I'll be able to for-

give you."

Hurt shone from his eyes, an empty look of despair, but she glared

back. Too drugged to show more emotion.

"Fine." His voice was raw with bitterness, and he didn't look at her

again.

She sat up laboriously and drew a map that showed which part of

the city the off-site lab was, hoping that it had escaped notice. She

added a vaguely termed list of things she wanted Shiseo to bring. "He

should be there if no one's found him. I'll need him to bring all this so

I can explain how it works."

Kaine stared at the map and list, his eyes narrowing. "Who is he

exactly?"

"An Easterner. He helps here and there."

"And you trust him?"

"More than I can trust you," she said.

Kaine turned white, but he crumpled the list into his pocket. "Don't

leave," he said.

She turned away from him. Lila lay beside her, still unconscious.

The instant he was gone, Helena pushed herself and began ransack-

ing the suite, finding and prying free every piece of metal she could. She

was indiscriminate in her destruction; anything that was not immedi-

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826 • SenLinYu

ately visible, she ripped out, and then identified its components and

transmuted it down into compact bars of various alloys and elements,

pausing every few minutes to clear her head of the drug.

She was certain that Kaine would take her and Lila into Novis first.

It was in range. He'd use Amaris to get across the river without dealing

with checkpoints or the paperwork of commandeering a boat. However,

large as Amaris was, Helena doubted the chimaera could carry three.

The river was wide in the basin. Two riders would be enough to wind

Amaris and require her to rest before returning.

Helena didn't trust Novis with Lila, not now with Luc dead. In the

hands of Novis, with Falcon Matias circling him, Luc's son would be

little more than a pawn, a Principate raised with the same lies and ma-

nipulation that had haunted Luc.

Lila would have to be hidden.

Kaine had somewhere already in mind, but travel arrangements

would not be quick. Even if he had money on hand, obtaining safe and

discreet passage would be complicated.

She went to the window, peeking out, trying to gauge how high she

was, and found a street only a few storeys below. The suite was in one of

the higher parts of the city, far removed from the violence, but there was

a large skybridge connected to all the nearby buildings, with a plaza and

gardens overlooking the lower parts of the city.

There was also a fire escape just outside the window. Not a functional

one, but a decorative sort of balcony made of wrought iron.

She heard footsteps sooner than she'd expected and rushed back to

the bed, trying to look dazed when the door opened and Kaine entered,

Shiseo behind him.

She pushed herself up, rubbing her eyes. "You found him."

"Give him your information so he can go."

Helena slurred her reply. "He's just an assistant. I'm going to have to

go over everything."

Shiseo blinked at Helena, and she was grateful then for how unread-

able he was.

Kaine gave a hiss between his teeth, hands clenching into fists.

"Fine."

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Alchemised • 827

She was interfering with his timeline. She could feel his desperate

impatience.

"You'll use Amaris, right? To take us across the river?" she asked.

Kaine's eyes flicked to Shiseo, but he gave a faint nod.

"Can she carry all of us that far?"

His jaw went tense. "It'll have to be two trips."

She nodded vaguely and went towards him, noticing the way he

leaned towards her without seeming aware of it.

She stopped short and lowered her voice. "You should take Lila, be-

fore she wakes up."

He drew up. "You want me to go?"

Her expression twisted bitterly. "Well, there's no point in teaching

you any of this, is there?" She lifted a shoulder. "I just thought—if you

took her first, maybe we'll have some time to say goodbye when it's my

turn. But maybe that doesn't matter."

She turned away, grateful that she was so drugged, she could finally

lie without effort. She could feel Kaine's eyes on her as found a stack of

thick, high-quality paper in the desk drawer and searched for a pen.

Helena's heart was pounding, a slow drumbeat of dread as she sat

and began to write, slowly and methodically, not looking at him again.

"When I get back, you'll go, whether or not you're ready."

Helena's heart was in her throat. It took a moment to speak.

"Fine." She didn't dare look up.

She watched from the corner of her eye as he went over and hauled

Lila up.

He stopped at the doorway and looked back at her. "I'll be back in a

few hours. Don't leave this room."

Helena's throat tightened. She looked over, and her lips parted, to

say—

To say—

She looked back down to the paper in front of her. "I'll be waiting

for you."

The door shut and she didn't move, expecting it to burst open again.

There was a long silence before she finally looked up.

"How did he bring you here?" she asked Shiseo, pressing her hand

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828 • SenLinYu

against the side of her neck and trying to alleviate all the tampering in

her body enough to think coherently.

"There was a motorcar. He took it underground. He had a special

card that let us through, and we came up in a long lift."

She turned and went over the box of supplies Shiseo had brought,

sorting them as quickly as she could, laying them all out in the small

kitchen. She had to work in rushed spurts to stay ahead of the sedative.

Taking an etching sheet, she hastily began sketching an array to stabi-

lise her component construction.

"He said you needed me," Shiseo said after several minutes.

"I'm sorry, I don't," Helena said, her fingers quickly shaping the var-

ious metal bars into a multitude of spheres. "I just needed an excuse so

he'd leave and bring me these supplies. I imagine he told you, we lost.

Luc's dead. You should get to Novis, you'll be safe there."

Shiseo seemed unconcerned. "What are you doing?"

She paused. "I'm building a bomb. I need to blow up a laboratory."

There was a long silence. "We used the Athanor components al-

ready."

Helena twitched one shoulder as she began divvying up materials,

calculating how much she had. Not enough. She scrounged through the

kitchen cupboards and found a bag of flour.

"This is going to be a different kind of bomb," she said. "It'll still use

some obsidian, but I'm using a different pyromancy principle for this.

Luc's books always warned about using pyromancy in enclosed spaces,

because if the flames consume all the oxygen, it creates a vacuum. Obvi-

ously, I'm not a pyromancer, but when I was little, there was a mill fire.

The flour in the air caught fire, and it burned down the entire building."

She paused, using her resonance to stall the effects of the sedative

again before measuring carbon disulfide into sealed spheres, careful to

keep from inhaling any.

Her hands had to be steady, her focus razor-sharp.

"You will burn down a lab?"

She nodded. "The West Port Lab. Do you remember Vanya Get-

tlich? The woman with nullium in her blood? That was West Port's

doing. If I burn it down, they won't realise that Kaine rescued Lila. If

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Alchemised • 829

they think she died in a fire, and they won't look for her. And it'll be—"

She swallowed hard. "It'll be a quicker death for everyone inside than

what will happen to them otherwise." She pressed her hand against her

head again, clearing it, and then nodded him away. "You should go. You

won't want to be here when Kaine gets back, and if I get any of this

wrong, I might blow up this building instead."

"You will not come back?"

Helena used the mortar and pestle to grind obsidian into micro-

shards. "Of course I'm going to come back. I told Kaine I'd be waiting

for him. It's just— "

She paused and blinked back tears. "I made a deal to leave, and I

have to keep it." She swallowed hard. "He'll be—he'll be alone here. I

have to make sure he's safe before I go."

She couldn't breathe. Her lungs made that awful whistling sound,

and she doubled over, clutching at her chest, trying to get her fingers

under the chest brace.

Shiseo took the mortar and pestle from her.

"Your wrist motion still needs practice," he said as he ground up the

obsidian for her. "Like this, see?"

She watched, the sedative taking effect. Her chest slowly stopped

convulsing. She let him finish before straightening with a wince.

When he was done with the obsidian, he helped her transmute metal

bars into the various shapes she needed. He was better at delicate trans-

mutation work than she was; he made beautifully delicate pins that

would be removed to allow the carbon disulfide to evaporate and ignite

the white phosphorus.

Helena made as many bombs as she could. The Hevgotian ambas-

sador had a very large, sturdy rucksack that Helena filled with them,

hoping that all the spheres were even and wouldn't break during the

journey. She took her knives from her satchel, shoving them into the

pockets of a tasselled jacket, along with the few remaining supplies

from her emergency kit, and pulled a cap down low to hide her face and

dark hair.

After hesitating, she lay one of the obsidian knives on top of the note

she'd written. Kaine should have one, if he didn't already.

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830 • SenLinYu

She slung the rucksack carefully into her back, careful not to jostle it,

and then went over and unlatched the window, leaning out. There was a

red haze rising from the north end of the city, but the beacon of the

Eternal Flame, which had burned for centuries, visible for miles, was

gone. Extinguished.

She was about to climb out the window when Shiseo spoke up.

"Wait."

She looked back at him.

"You will come back?"

She pressed her lips together and nodded, slipping one leg over the

sill.

"Wait," Shiseo said again. He drew a deep breath. "I am not in the

habit of holding on to—things. People." He shook his head. "I was very

young when my father regretted his marriage. I was a disappointment.

My mother's family did not rise as expected, so he put us aside and

began again. When my half brother became Emperor, I was seen as a

threat, but he sent me to oversee the imperial mines, and I thought

perhaps he did not want to kill me. But when I was accused of stealing

imperial elements, I realised I must always wander."

Helena knew he was trying to communicate something important,

but she was too stuck on one point. "Your brother is the Emperor?"

Shiseo waved the question off and seemed very focused on the story

he was telling her.

"I always thought it better to let life flow by quietly. For many years,

I did."

Helena was not sure if she was touched or exasperated by his sudden

need to tell her this.

"When they said you had died, I—I regretted that I did not know

you well. I do not like to presume. To ask questions. But I—enjoyed our

lab." He smiled at her.

Helena exhaled, smiling back. "Me too. I wish we could have worked

on other things." She slid through the window onto the metal balcony.

"Wait."

She tensed with frustration.

He reached after her. "I should go. If I am caught, I will tell them

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Alchemised • 831

about my brother. They will not kill me. You see?"

He held out his hand for the rucksack, the urgency visible in his face.

Helena looked at him for a moment and then pushed his hand away.

"I'm going to use necromancy to plant the bombs. It has to be me."

His hand dropped.

"Take care, Shiseo," she said. She started to turn, then paused. "If I

don't come back— if you ever see Kaine, tell him—tell him that I—"

Her head dropped down, and she quickly brushed her fingertips

across her cheeks. She cleared her voice and shook her head. "Never

mind. I imagine he knows."

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CHAPTER 65

Augustus 1787

Helena had rarely visited the West Island even before the

war, but she knew she needed to head south, and down to the lower

levels of the island, to reach its small port.

It was dark and quiet; in the plaza, one might not even realise there

was a war. The lifts would require fare and identification, assuming that

they were even operational, but there were always stairways, some large

and others designed for maintenance and service workers. They would

be the most efficient. When she came across gates, the locks were usu-

ally simple enough for basic transmutational lock picking.

She was almost to the lowest levels before she saw anyone. She

reached a gate, and just as she got it unlocked, two people came around

the turn of the stairs, heading up. Helena tried to tuck herself against

the wall and let them pass without drawing attention to herself, but

when she risked a glance up, she gave a gasp of surprise.

It was Crowther. He met her eyes dully, no expression on his face,

but he stopped in his tracks as the person beside him turned and looked

at Helena.

Ivy gave a small smile. "You got out, too. I hoped you would."

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Alchemised • 833

Helena stared at her in horror, looking again at Crowther, blank-

faced and empty-eyed. He was dead.

"What did you do?" Helena's voice shook.

The smile on Ivy's face vanished. "The Necromancer has Sofia. He

said he'd give her back to me if I gave him the Headquarters and

Crowther. They wanted him alive, but they said it was all right if I had

to kill him. So I did."

Because Crowther was believed to be the one making the obsidian.

Helena's head swam.

"You're the one who gave them all the information?" she said, "Who

let them into Headquarters?"

It wasn't Cetus. Here stood the real traitor.

"I had to," Ivy said. "It's the only way to get Sofia back."

"Ivy, your sister's dead."

"No!" Ivy shook her head. "She's alive. I've seen her, she knows me

when I visit her. He'll give her back to me when I bring him Crowther."

"How could you?" was all Helena could say. "All those people— "

"They would have all died anyway," Ivy said with a callous toss of her

head. "This way, it was quick. I made sure the plan had them all die

quick." She shook her head. "I'm not a traitor. They were going to die no

matter what."

Ivy turned and continued, Crowther's corpse behind her.

The West Port Lab was a huge, windowless building, originally built

as an industrial shipping warehouse. Kaine had given the Eternal Flame

an interior blueprint for the lab earlier that year, but there had never

been any context to use the information.

There were only small pipes for airflow throughout the building, in-

tended to ward off external pyromancy attacks. The ventilation was

poor. Which was exactly what Helena needed.

There were a few smaller buildings scattered around it, and she eyed

them warily as she passed.

As she stood studying the warehouse, a necrothrall approached her;

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834 • SenLinYu

her casual presence was enough to merit investigation, but a solitary,

unarmed figure wasn't cause for alarm. As it neared, Helena pressed her

hand against her neck, clearing her head again, and then reached out

and pulled the energy out of the necrothrall, as easily as plucking a piece

of lint off a jacket.

The corpse sagged against her, the smell of rot closing in. She shoved

her own resonance through the dead body, reanimating it again.

It wasn't a very good corpse. It was in the early stages of bloat, the

tissue and ligaments all damaged.

She was careful to use only a little energy.

Her new necrothrall turned and held the next necrothrall in place

while she repeated the process until there were more than twenty greys

gathered around her.

Her focus blurred as the edge of her consciousness fragmented into

all the different shadowed minds, but it was only the edges this time;

her mind remained her own.

"Find the openings," she told them as she began distributing her

bombs.

The effect of the sedative was worse now with the necromancy. The

focus required was exhausting. It was fortunate they were all intended

to perform nearly identical tasks. She gritted her teeth as she began

transmuting each bomb, performing the final step before sending the

necrothralls away as quickly as possible.

It was a delicate balance between staying far enough away that she

wouldn't get caught in the blast zone, but near enough that the phos-

phorus wouldn't ignite prematurely after the initial activation.

She watched them reach the warehouse and start climbing up the

walls.

She started to back away, and her eyes went out of focus as she fol-

lowed the greys, up, up. No nerves to feel their fingers shredding from

the effort of climbing.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to focus on their progress.

They reached the pipes and slits in the warehouse. A few were on the

roof, pulling off the vent covers. Her heart pounded as one of the necro-

thralls with clearer vision held a sphere up to the pipe and confirmed

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Alchemised • 835

that it would fit through.

In unison, the necrothralls pulled out the delicate pins that Shiseo

had transmuted for her, then dropped the spheres down the pipes.

Sending them into the reinforced, sealed-off warehouse.

As the last of them dropped, Helena turned and started running.

There was an almost perfectly simultaneous muffled bang behind her

as the initial blast went off. She looked back and saw tiny clouds of dust,

some glittering, some white.

The world exploded.

The air was shattered with the violence of the blast, a wave that

twisted the air as Helena ran, a searing heat that seemed to chase her

down.

The fire was trying to swallow everything, cannibalising itself as it

burned, raging and starved, dragging in the air to fuel itself until it cre-

ated a tornado of wind. Every pyromancy sin Helena had ever warned

Luc over, she'd committed.

Warehouses were designed for storage, not structural integrity. The

blueprints had shown exactly where the few structural supports were

located. The building collapsed in on itself and then blew apart with

another sudden explosion. Whatever weapons Bennet had been devel-

oping, whatever dangerous, flammable, incendiary resources they had

from their own bombs, the fire had found them.

The ground moved like liquid under her feet. The paving stones

cracking open.

She was flung against one of the buildings.

Fire was still roaring when she blinked again. The sedative had ab-

sorbed the pain of the blow. She lay on the ground, trying to catch her

breath, a pulsing throb that should be agony pressing against her skull.

Everything was on fire. She could feel the heat, could dimly make

out more explosions. There was a sharp, painful ringing in her ears that

muted all other sounds. She looked where the lab had been, but there

was only rubble and flames.

Her legs wobbled, giving out when she tried to stand. She collapsed,

gasping unsteadily. Her lungs were burning, but breathing made her

head swim.

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836 • SenLinYu

There might be nullium.

She pulled off the jacket and pressed it over her mouth and nose,

trying to breathe slowly.

Get up. Run.

But she was so tired. Nothing felt real. It had to be a nightmare. All

that time. All those years, everything she'd done, telling herself it would

all be worth it in the end. All lies. She'd killed Luc. The first person she'd

ever been meant to save, she'd stabbed him through the heart.

She lay falling into her loss. Pinned by the weight of her grief. How

could she get up now? How could she bear it?

Kaine.

Her eyes snapped open, and she clawed at her throat, trying to push

back the sedation, fumes filling her lungs. She'd told him she'd be wait-

ing for him.

If she didn't go back, he'd return to find a mess of hastily assembled

explosives and her scrawled note.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

She forced herself up. She wasn't going to die. She wouldn't leave

him behind. She had to go back.

She managed a few steps before her legs gave out again. There were

figures approaching through the smoke, but she couldn't make her legs

hold her.

She scrabbled in her pocket, finding the vial and syringe she'd put

there. Last resort.

She pulled it out, hand shaking as she stabbed the needle into the

vial and pulled up the plunger, filling it. She drew a deep breath and

braced herself as she stabbed it straight into her heart and injected it.

The cocktail of stimulants had been formulated for Kaine. It hit like

a shock wave, energy roaring through her body, ripping away any last

remnants of the sedative and Kaine's transmutation. Energy seemed to

hum inside her veins. She could feel her mind sharpening, everything

growing brighter, clearer.

She leapt to her feet and ran faster than she'd ever moved in her life.

She could barely feel her body. She knew she needed to run.

Something tackled her to the ground. She twisted, going for her

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Alchemised • 837

knives, but she felt fur. She grabbed hold of her attacker and shoved her

resonance through, finding all those places where transmutation had

stitched the creature together. She unravelled them.

The chimaera died instantly.

She scrambled up, whipping out an obsidian knife as necrothralls

reached her. She tore through them, barely feeling their attempts to

grab her. Her eyes were locked on the high towers of the island. She was

going that way. She'd get back. She'd be there, waiting for Kaine.

She was not going to die.

There was no time to reanimate the necrothralls to fight for her. She

destroyed everything in her path with savage efficiency. There was so

much power exploding through her body, her heart threatened to tear in

two if she didn't keep moving. She fought free and bolted again. The

blood was roaring in her ears. More figures emerged from the smoke.

Helena stopped short in horror.

Among them stood Althorne.

She had no idea how they'd managed to reanimate him with the

nullium contamination. They must have made a special effort for the

general. Beside Althorne stood someone else, a young man with wheat-

coloured hair and a square face.

Lancaster.

Crowther had said his prisoners had all died in the bombing. Clearly

he'd been mistaken. She looked around, dreading who else might

emerge from the smoke.

"Look at that, you were right," Lancaster said to Althorne. "There is

someone out here."

"Take her," said rasped the lich. Althorne's eyes squinted through the

smoke towards her. "She may know who attacked the laboratory."

"If I get her, can I have her?" Lancaster said, eyes lighting up, glanc-

ing at Helena again. It was clear he recognised her in some way.

"When the interrogators are done with her," the lich said. "Hurry

up."

Helena watched as Lancaster advanced, switching out the obsidian

blade for her long titanium dagger. If he was being sent while the lich

hung back, that was probably a sign he was still an Aspirant.

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838 • SenLinYu

But it also meant the lich was the one controlling all the necrothralls.

She had to get rid of him or she'd end up being chased through the city.

Lancaster first, though.

Her primary advantage in this was being wanted alive.

"Let me pass," Helena said as Lancaster came closer and the lich

began to disappear back into the smoke. She tried to keep an eye on

him, track where he was going.

Lancaster shook his head. "Come on, don't make this harder for

yourself. You're outnumbered. Drop the knife."

The necrothralls had fanned out around her. They had long-range

weapons. Helena's eyes swept left and right, looking for an escape, try-

ing to plot out what to do. Her blood was roaring in her ears, telling her

to move, to attack, to run. She had to be smart.

She gripped the dagger a moment longer, feeling the texture, all the

finely wrought details, swallowing hard as she let it slip from her fingers

and clatter to the ground. She lowered her head and moved submis-

sively forward as her fingers slipped down to grip the other.

She walked hesitantly towards Lancaster.

"Take her."

The necrothralls stepped forward, lowering their weapons as one

started to seize her arm.

Helena struck.

Her knife flashed, transmuting mid-motion until it was double its

length. She cut off the hand, gutted the necrothrall, and buried a short-

ened blade into the skull of another.

She dodged a sword that sang as it sliced over her head and lodged

in a necrothrall behind her. He screamed.

They weren't all necrothralls, then. Well, that made them easier to

kill. She wasn't trying to win, this wasn't a battle; she only wanted to

escape. She kept herself aimed in the direction that the lich had disap-

peared.

You cannot die here.

Her left wrist was caught in a brutal grip. She twisted, wrenching to

get free, hot white pain enveloping her shoulder as her arm rolled out of

the socket. She whirled back, getting a hand on the attacker. She didn't

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Alchemised • 839

stop to think, she just ripped apart everything her resonance touched.

There was an animalistic scream of agony as her wrist came free.

She dragged herself away, trying to pull her shoulder back into its

socket. She could barely move her fingers, but she refused to stop.

Fast and clever, Kaine said. That was what she needed to survive.

Lancaster swung into her path, a grin of triumph on his face, think-

ing her beaten. She slammed her dagger into his chest. He dropped like

a stone.

She found her feet and ran straight into the smoke. She could see

the city beyond, glittering with all its false promises.

The necrothralls were still in pursuit; she could hear them through

the smoke. She was winded to the point that her vision was blurring.

The combination of stimulants and sedatives was doing a remarkable

job of keeping her from feeling how injured she currently was.

She saw a large figure in the smoke and went towards it. Althorne.

She reached for her obsidian dagger, wishing her left arm worked. She

keyed up her resonance until it sang around her in a torus as she rushed