"Running Up That Hill" by Kate Bush had been playing in my ears for almost an hour on my AirPods Pro. But the moment he stepped back on campus, the music fizzled out and all I could feel was his presence. It was like an invisible thread tugging to pull our destinies together. A strong attraction brushed over my skin and whispered directly into my blood, "he is here, he's back." I felt it so fast and so deep that I actually flinched. One second I was reading in the library, the next I slammed my book shut so hard the girl at the corner table glared at me.
I couldn't care less. My hands moved on their own. I stuffed everything into my bag, my notebook, my phone, my lip gloss, my notes on Nuclear Proliferation I was pretending to focus on. Everything. My heart was beating like it wanted to run ahead of me. I could not explain what I was feeling. All I knew was that he was back. Karros was back.
I tried to look normal walking out of the library, but I probably looked insane. I felt so excited it was almost embarrassing. As I got closer to the main walkway, something strange started happening. A faint burning sensation spread across my left shoulder. Not painful enough to stop me, but noticeable enough that I frowned and rubbed my shoulder. I ignored it. Nothing mattered more than finding him.
Or maybe it was not even finding him. Maybe it was that I already knew exactly where he was. I moved on instinct, following that weird pull straight through campus. When I reached the open courtyard and saw him standing there, everything inside me settled instantly. I actually felt my lungs expand again.
He looked the same but also different. Maybe it was just me. Without thinking, I broke into a run and threw my arms around him. He hugged me back. Tight. Close. Like he needed it too. Then he let go quickly and said, "We should go somewhere more private."
I didn't understand what he was worried about or what he was hiding from. But I was too excited to ask him anything. I nodded, and he reached for my hand. He did not hesitate. He just held it and led me toward the woods path that cut behind the dorms.
But as we walked, the questions started clawing their way out of me. I tried to sound calm when I spoke, but my voice shook a little.
"Where have you been? Why did you just disappear without saying anything?"
He hesitated only for a moment. "My dad was sick. I had to go visit."
"You could have said something. I was so…" I stopped mid-sentence and looked down. What was I supposed to say? I was so sick when you left? I felt like I was losing my mind? It sounded ridiculous. I barely knew him.
He gave me this soft look. His eyes were apologetic, almost guilty, but also knowing. Like he understood exactly what I could not bring myself to say.
I changed the topic because my chest felt too exposed. "How is he doing?"
"He is going to get better," he said quietly.
We walked in silence for a while. Enjoying each other's presence and our lingering touch where our hands loosely interlocked. "Please don't ever disappear like that again. I was so worried." He grabs my hand tightly and turns to me. " I'm so sorry it won't happen again." And then he asked. "Are you coming for the party at the Sports Center this evening?"
"I'll come if you come."
He smiled. That kind of smile that felt like warm hands brushing over my skin. "I will be there."
He walked me back to campus. We said goodbye, and he turned to leave. Before I could fully turn away, he called out.
"Wait, I never asked you for your number."
He held his phone out to me. My stomach flipped. He wanted my number. I typed it in and handed it back, struggling not to grin like an idiot. I waved at him and made my way back to the dorm.
⸻
By the time evening came, I was buzzing with energy. As I got ready with Zeta, she nudged me and said, "I am so happy you're back to yourself." She had no idea how much better I felt or that it was because of Karros I fell sick. I mean how could she understand. She had known him longer than me. We walked together to the sports complex.
River-Court always comes alive at night. The outdoor basketball court lights were bright, music was thumping loudly from inside the outdoor speakers, and people were scattered everywhere. I hated crowds but today I didn't seem to mind. Girls dancing in their cute and kinda slutty attires, drinks pouring, boys and girls gyrating on each other. I felt so free. I clearly wasn't the highest in the room. At least not yet I thought as I walked to the bar to buy myself a drink.
I wore a short satin skirt with bright flower embroidery and a plain white tank top. My gold leg chain glowed softly against my skin, with leather platform slippers. I had painted my nails a light peach before the party. My hair was loose and around my face. I had curled it and it was bouncy and smelling like chocolate. Thanks to my shampoo. I felt good and I looked even better.
Zeta and I drank and danced. Some people were dancing like they were fighting demons. Others were just vibing. It made me laugh. I tried not to obsess over when Karros would get there, but every few minutes I checked my phone anyway.
Ten minutes later, it pinged.
"Where are you?"
I texted back. "I am at the basketball court."
"Okay."
About ten seconds later.
"Look towards the entrance."
I looked up immediately.
There he was. Big and warm and bright in a peach colored shirt, blue jeans, and Yeezy sneakers. I squealed excitedly to myself, my mani/pedi matched his shirt. His diamond earring caught the light and his gold chain rested against his throat. He never took them off. He actually looked like he put effort into his outfit and I felt my stomach twist in the sweetest way.
Since I was feeling bold and sexy, I walked up to him instead of waiting for him to come to me. Not breaking eye contact once. When I finally got to him and leaned in for a hug, he shifted slightly, avoiding it. I noticed. I felt it like a splash of cold water. But I pretended I did not.
"Alright let's go inside," I said with a smile.
He nodded, and we entered the gym. Away from the entrance crowd, he looked at me properly. "You look damn good."
"Thank you." I felt my face heat up. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear like an idiot.
"You've been having fun without me, you're are tipsy," he said with a little laugh.
"Yeah," I giggled. I reached out to rub his shoulder. He moved away from my touch again. Subtle. But not subtle enough.
Instantly the alcohol drained from my system. I did not feel sexy anymore. A horrible heavy feeling settled in my chest. I opened my mouth.
"What is going on? I started to say. You invited me here. Why are you suddenly acting weird?"
Before I could finish he cut me off. "I'll be right back. I need to attend to something."
He walked away. Just like that. I did not even have time to react. My mood crashed so hard it was almost physical. I stood there for a moment, trying to swallow the tight ache in my throat.
Forty minutes passed.
Nothing.
No text. No explanation. He wasn't even in sight. I was too drained to be angry. I just felt stupid. And disappointed. I thought tonight was going to be good. I thought we would have fun. I thought the way he held my hand earlier meant something.
I left. Quietly. Like a wounded puppy limping home.
I had barely reached the next complex when my phone buzzed.
Where are you?
"Gone," I typed furiously.
"Zuri please do not be like that. I can explain. Please just meet me at Bron's place. It is empty now. No one is there. I have the keys".
I hesitated. I really did. But I did not want the night to end just yet. I wanted answers. I wanted him.
"Okay. I will be there soon."
Bron's place was quiet. Almost too quiet. The lights were on. I stepped inside and locked the door behind me.
He was sitting on the bed with a joint, gently inhaling. The moment I closed the door, he stood, crossed the room, and hugged me hard. So hard I gasped but I just melted into it. I didn't even want to argue. He held me like someone who had been starving. His face was in my neck and he inhaled me slowly. Like he was trying to memorize my essence.
We stayed like that for what felt like a full thirty seconds before he pulled back. We stared at each other. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but after tonight's confusion I did not trust him or what our situation really was.
"Karros is everything okay?"
"Yes." His voice was low. "I just missed you. I missed you so much."
The truth fell out of my mouth before I could stop it. "I missed you too. I missed you so much I felt out of touch."
"But why the act at the party today? I asked immediately. "You invited me out but suddenly you're acting like you do not want people seeing us together. What is going on?"
"It is for your own protection."
"Protection from what?" My voice rose angrily before I could regulate myself. I felt irritated and confused and stupid all at once. "Or does he have a girlfriend?" I pondered to myself but I couldn't bring myself to utter those words.
He opened his mouth but did not answer. Not fully. Not clearly. I felt myself unraveling.
"You know what. I want to have fun tonight. I do not want to be confused. I am just gonna go."
I stood up to leave. I waited for him to grab my hand, pull me back, grab me and kiss me like he never wanted to let me go. Or say something. Anything.
But he did not move.
He just watched me walk out.
I did not feel strong. I did not feel empowered.
I just felt defeated.
⸻
Immediately she stepped out, Karros felt an ache rip through his chest. His wolf pushed against his skin hard enough to make his breath shudder. He wanted to run after her. He wanted to grab her wrist and pull her straight back into his arms. He wanted to kiss her until she understood everything he could not say tonight.
But he stayed frozen.
Being in close proximity with his father and the rest of the pack for a whole week made him realize what was truly at stake. It would cost not just an arm or a leg; It would cost a heart. His fate was tied to the fate of many others and he didn't know if he was selfish enough to just take Zuri and run and abandon everything. But that would mean death for the rest of the clan. He didn't know if he and Bron had been successful in trying to use the wolfsbane to weaken the connection between him and his father so he can't smell the mate bond on him. He didn't want to risk anything for all he knew Vesperian spies could be anywhere.
And Zuri, she had no idea how close she was to danger every second she stood beside him in public. She did not know why her skin burned when she got close. She did not know why she could feel him the way no human should.
She had no idea what she was to him.
Or how impossible his situation was.
Karros sat down heavily after she left. His heartbeat was unsteady. His hands were shaking. He felt like he was split into two pieces, one staying obedient to the rules of the Treaty and the other clawing to go after her. To claim her.
He whispered to the empty room, "I am sorry."
Then he stood pacing, conflicted. He didn't think he would be able to see her walk away again. But how would he explain everything to her without her thinking he was crazy.