Chapter 64: Chrismukkah
"Hello?" I answered my phone.
Seth started talking on the other end of the line. "Man, for a brief moment I thought you slept with my aunt," he blurted out right away.
I glanced to the side of the bed and gave Summer's breasts a squeeze. "No, I'm pretty sure I'm still with Summer."
Then I asked, "So, my dad's at your house?"
"He was, I caught him sleeping with my aunt, and he ended up leaving," Seth kept talking, "She isn't married or anything, it was just a really awkward situation."
"Hmm," I murmured.
"You don't seem that surprised," he remarked from the other end of the line.
I explained, "My dad's a Don Juan, and he and my uncle had dinner yesterday at my grandma's house, your neighbor."
I went on, "With all due respect, Seth, your mother is beautiful, so I assume your aunt is too. I can see that happening."
"My aunt wasn't supposed to be here, let alone sleep with a guy before even saying hi to us," Seth commented ironically.
Handful chick... totally my dad's type.
"Well, at least lunch won't be boring," I laughed.
He let out a dry laugh. "Yeah, for some reason, Lindsay's mom will come too. Boring is exactly the type I wanted to be."
"Don't worry Seth, everything will be fine. I'll be there soon," I said and hung up.
"Hey, jerk, these are not stress balls," Summer turned toward me as I didn't stop squeezing her breasts.
"Are you sure? Because I'm feeling less stressed already," I joked.
She just made a face at me. "What did Seth want?" she asked, sitting and guiding my hand inside her pajamas. Yeah, way better with no fabric in the way.
"He just called to say that my dad ended up at his house," I revealed.
"You two have rabbit genes, right?" Summer teased, already understanding what happened (not exactly with whom, but it didn't really matter for her).
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After we got dressed, Summer and I went to the Cohens' house.
"Ryan, you look like you didn't sleep well," I commented, noticing his tired face as he opened the door for us.
" 'Someone' slept in my bed," Ryan answered flatly.
I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I don't think they did much sleeping." I quipped
"Not helping, man," he shot me a look.
"Jake, Summer!" Seth welcomed us as well. "The man we need," he declared, and we all headed to the kitchen.
"Kirsten, Sandy…" I waved to both of them. "Hello there!"
and they greeted me normally.
"You came early, Jake," Sandy observed, sipping his coffee. "Help yourself," he offered, motioning toward the food on the table.
"Thought you'd be more bothered, Kirsten," I found their lack of reaction a bit strange.
"For what?" She tilted her head.
"Yeah, I haven't told them yet," Seth cut in. "Hailey's here," he announced.
I glanced at him. "Your aunt's name is Hailey? You don't have aunt issues, do you?"
"Just a coincidence, and I like Lindsay now," Seth replied.
Kirsten stood up abruptly. "Wait, wait- you saw her? You were talking to her? Or, uh... did she say what she's doing here?"
"I have two guesses," Sandy deadpanned. "Either she run outta money or run outta money."
Huh, a sister without money showing up at her sister's house - sounds familiar.
Kirsten signed, touching her forehead. "Hailey's here."
Then a blonde young woman came to the door wearing a singlet and underwear.
"Hey guys, guess who's back," she uttered, smiling.
"Hello, Hailey," Sandy muttered, lowering his head after noticing what she was wearing.
Seth laughed awkwardly. "Aunt Hailey, later- when you're dressed - we'll hug."
Ryan just gave her a look and didn't say anything.
"Seth. Robe. Her. Now," Kirsten ordered, placing her hand on her hip, already showing great annoyance
"Huh?" Hailey blinked when she saw me. "Are you Charlie's son or brother?" she questioned while putting on Seth's robe.
"His son," I replied, unfazed.
Kirsten's eyes darted between us. "Oh, you didn't!!" she exclaimed, irritated, probably putting the pieces together.
"See? Now you know what she was doing, or who she was doing" I commented, receiving a quick glare from her.
But she soon turned to Hailey again. "We haven't seen each other for years, and the first thing you do is sneak in here with a stranger?"
"He's no stranger. He's your neighbor's son, and my dad," I pointed out.
Seth muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "Can't you stop poking the wasp nest?"
Kirsten started lecturing Hailey, but she didn't seem very bothered by it. Seth's mother ended up leaving to avoid getting even more annoyed.
"Looking good, nephew Seth," Hailey commented, giving him a once-over.
"Thank you. Puberty happened."
"It's been that long?"
"It sure has."
Then Hailey pointed at us, "And new friends?"
"Yeah, that's Ryan. He's kind of a long story," Seth introduced us. "Jake you've already know his name."
"Do I need to call you Mommy?" I mocked
she found it amused, "bite me"
"Can't, I have a girlfriend," I said, glancing down since Summer was in my arms.
"Summer," she introduced herself coolly
Hailey nodded and turned back to her nephew. "So, now that you're a man, what are the New Year's Eve plans? Got any girls to kiss?"
"Yes, Lindsay, she's coming here for lunch," Seth revealed.
I continued, "About the New Year's Eve plans, I reserved a few tables at The Standard Downtown, Rooftop VIP, for us."
"Taylor might not come," Ryan murmured
I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Because of three little words Ryan couldn't say," surprisingly, it was Hailey who explained
"Where's the Frosted Flakes?" Seth joked.
"That's four," Hailey corrected, then said each word slowly, "I. Love. You."
"Shut up. Ryan, Taylor said that to you?" I asked, receiving a small nod.
"Okay, what did you say?" Seth asked, intrigued.
He muttered, "Thank you."
We all grimaced.
"God, that was worse than I expected - even for Seth," I said, still wincing.
"I love you too, Jake" Seth replied dryly.
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