Chapter 62: Christmas
"Come on!" I kept pressing the buttons harder.
Seth raised his hands. "And the winner is... me!!"
"You're really bad at this," Anna laughed, grabbing the controller from my hand.
I justified myself, "My usual opponents are six to eleven-year-old kids."
This time it was Anna and Ryan who started playing the fighting game. In the past few weeks, we've been getting together once in a while at Seth's place (and Ryan's, since the Cohens became his legal guardians).
"Hey, Jake, wanna be part of what I call Chrismukkah?" Seth spun toward me.
"Huh?" I blinked. "Is that like Christmas plus Hanukkah?"
He nodded. "Right. It's a new holiday, and it's sweeping the nation."
"Hey, fellas, we got the tree," Sandy, Seth's dad, entered carrying a Christmas tree.
"Or at least the living room," Seth added.
"Hello, Jake, would you like to stay with us for dinner?" Kirsten asked.
I thought for a moment. "Sure, the girls are having that time of the month."
"You know, that's kinda offensive to us women," Kirsten lightly scolded with a mocking smile.
Anna chimed in, "He means they're having girls' night today."
Seth's mom was about to apologize, but Anna cut in again. "Don't, he totally phrases like that on purpose."
"Okay, can we get back to the best holiday ever invented? And that was by me" Seth jumped into the conversation.
"Chrismukkah?" Ryan raised an eyebrow.
"Allow me to elaborate." He walked over to Sandy. "You see, for my father here, a poor struggling Jew growing up in the Bronx, Christmas meant Chinese food and a movie."
Then he moved next to Kirsten. "And for my mom over here, WASPy McWASP, it meant a tree, stockings, and all the trimmings"
"I'm not a wasp" she retorted.
He ignored it, and finished, "So, I created the greatest superholiday known to mankind, drawing on the best that Christianity and Judaism have to offer."
"We didn't really know how to raise Seth," Kirsten admitted, trying to justify his eccentricities, making everyone laugh.
Suddenly, Seth's phone rang. "It's Lindsay," he said excitedly.
I stood up and stopped him from answering right away. "Calm down, you already kissed her, no need to act so eager."
"Count to three and ask her to Chrismukkah," Anna added. He did that, then answered and walked to the corner.
"Who is Lindsay?" Sandy inquired curiously.
I responded, "Soon to be Seth's girlfriend. Lindsay Gardner is one of our classmates"
"You're welcome," Anna expressed, spreading her arms.
"Now you're taking all the credit?" I looked at her.
"I did more than you, smart boy," she smirked at me.
And this time, it was my phone that rang.
Ryan finally spoke up, "Girlfriend?"
"No," I denied. "A thirteen-year-old girl who keeps calling me."
"Alex?" Anna asked.
"Yep, you never let any misunderstanding slide, do you?" I answered. Since that day, my cousin has been calling me from time to time, wanting to talk about some book or intellectual topic.
After we finished talking, Seth had also ended his call and said to all of us, "How about a Chrismukkah on December 26th?"
"Dude, you haven't even started dating and you're already whipped?" I remarked astonished.
We played a bit more and then went to have dinner.
"How come you're not at the girls' night, Anna?" Sandy asked while grabbing another serving of pasta.
"Yeah... Taylor, Haley, Summer, and Marissa... not my thing," she replied.
"I think only a superior being like Jake could handle all four of them together," Seth commented ironically.
I joined the conversation too. "I barely talked to Taylor, just with the Powerpuff Girls... and Tinkerbell here."
Anna raised an eyebrow. "Really, Jake? Tinkerbell?"
"It's a good one," Seth laughed.
"See," I pointed out, "even Ryan agreed. That's his face when he agrees with something."
"That boring face is his usual," Anna retorted.
"Why does she hang out with us, again?" Ryan commented.
I shrugged. "Seth needs a lab partner and a relationship advisor."
"You're hilarious," Seth said mockingly, while Anna didn't even bother to respond.
We finished dinner and kept talking.
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A week later, December 24th finally arrived. I was watching Miracle on 34th Street with Jay, Manny, and Gloria when suddenly a monster appeared screaming on the screen.
Jay jumped in shock. "What the hell is that?"
"Inocente!" Manny pointed at Jay, chuckling.
"What the hell?" he exclaimed again.
"When you told me we were going to watch this movie, I asked Jake to help me for a joke copy," Manny revealed. "You are the inocente!"
"Maybe I'm a little confused right now. What's this 'inocente' stuff?" Jay inquired, already annoyed.
"In Colombia, practical jokes are a Christmas tradition," Gloria explained, still laughing. "The one who gets fooled is the inocente!"
Uncle Jay replied exasperatedly, "We tell practical jokes on April Fool's Day. Don't do that again."
Manny and Gloria left giggling, while Jay kept grumbling, "Inocente," and looked at me. "Are you okay with this crap?"
I shrugged. "Some of my friends are celebrating Chrismukkah - Christmas mixed with Hanukkah. My dad will probably celebrate with eggnog and a beautiful, but random girl. Adding a Colombian tradition seems perfectly normal to me."
I stood up. "I'm going to deliver all the presents and then I'll come back."
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I stopped first at the Dunphys' house.
Alex was the one who opened the door. "Jake!" she spoke excitedly and immediately went on, "I read Crime and Punishment..."
Haley came over too, nudging her sister aside. "Uhh, gifts," she cheered, hugging me but also reaching for the present.
"Cousin, you might need to be careful not to get dumber by osmosis," Alex remarked sarcastically.
Haley turned her head. "I don't have osmosis."
"See?" Alex pointed out, and the two of them started bickering.
I slipped an arm around both of them. "Okay, you two"
"Wait, where's the Christmas tree?" I frowned, noticing that the tree was no longer in the living room.
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