Luxurious Villa — Real World
After a good while of editing, Arthur finally exported the completed video.
With well-practiced ease, he uploaded it and casually commanded:
"System, same routine — sync the video to Teyvat."
Ding! Syncing…
Ding! Successfully synchronized to Teyvat.
Arthur nodded with satisfaction.
Then he checked today's stats — a daily ritual at this point.
"System, summary report."
Ding! Congratulations, Host — 290 million Emotion Value gained!
Ding! Synchronized reward: [Odd Water Goblet]!
Ding! Synchronized reward: [Fire-at-Will Buff]!
…(details shown)…
Arthur chuckled.
"These two rewards are… fun."
A luck-based water lootbox and a buff that reminded him of a certain meme general yelling for artillery support.
If only it were the Italian Cannon — now that would be TRUE flavor.
He imagined:
"Navia! Order given! Meyles! Silver! Roll the Italian cannons out!!
FIRE!!"
What a sight that would be.
He shook off the thought and reviewed the synced footage — especially the black bubbling "Abyss-polluted water" and the pregnancy water.
"This man… is destined to suffer from water."
Whether in edits or in reality — water was his bane.
Then he looked at the total buy-in.
2.9 billion gained today.
With previous reserves = 470 million total.
He then initiated draws:
"System, two Intermediate Rolls."
Ding! Reward: 1,000,000 credits.
Ding! Reward: Grass Archon Power Template.
Arthur installed it. His affinity for flora and growth manipulation improved — though no connection to Irminsul yet, since he wasn't on Teyvat physically.
Everything done, he checked his ability panel:
Host: Arthur
Emotion Value: 270 million
Powers: Anemo, Geo, Electro, Dendro Archon templates
Items: Gourmet Tablecloth, Oath of Victory Sword,
Enhanced Sky AK-47, Slim-Shroom Dumpling…
Very satisfying.
He then prepared for the next major arc:
The Archon Review Series
This — was the true Emotion Value nuke.
He grinned.
"We start… where everything began.
Mondstadt.
Barbatos and Dvalin — you two are up."
After hours of prep, he finally ate a late lunch using the Gourmet Tablecloth and rested.
Teyvat — Lunchtime
The world froze as everyone looked up to the sky-screen.
Supernal Chat Group lit up instantly:
Lumine: Hehe~ Good afternoon everyone! Had lunch yet? (Qunyu Pavilion.jpg)
Paimon: Thanks to Miss Ningguang's treat and Keqing's beef offal~
Paimon: (pic.jpg) (pic.jpg)
Even after being banned from the gourmet tablecloth for 3 days, Paimon was happy enough thanks to free food.
Ningguang: Think nothing of it. Keqing did the hard work.
Keqing: I've gotten used to cooking anyway.
Ayaka: Did you two shout the Mita Churl beef-offal slogan?
Lumine: Child's play!
Paimon: Totally worth it for the food!
Transitioning into updates:
Furina: White Castle refugees already settled.
Navia: Also — Marceille has been arrested. Evidence collecting underway.
Neuvillette: With the light-screen's help, public chaos is largely contained.
Everyone applauded the quick work.
Then…
Alice: Speaking of crisis — Neuvillette, what did you roll today?
Lumine: Don't tell me… more toxic water?
Nahida: He can't be THAT unlucky… right?
Furina: Hahahahaha~
Lumine: That laugh… oh no.
Shadow: …it won't be pleasant, will it.
Neuvillette sighed inwardly.
He indeed rolled today's water.
It wasn't black and poisonous this time.
It was even more socially lethal.
The River of Life Water
Drink it — and anyone will become pregnant.
Men included.
His expression had been frozen since.
Furina couldn't stop laughing while typing:
Furina: Today's roll is River of Life Water~ (tears-from-laughing.jpg)
Chat:
????
Lumine: Yup. Drink → You can have a baby. Male or female. No exceptions.
Everyone: ?!?!?!?!
The whole group was silent.
This was beyond bizarre.
Finally, Neuvillette typed formally:
Neuvillette: Indeed, the River of Life Water. As traveler described.
Neuvillette: Freshly drawn. (image.jpg)
Neuvillette: Ladies… or gentlemen… in need of children — price negotiable.
Everyone:
HELL. NO.
Even the reckless avoid such a fate.
Zhongli (DM to Hu Tao): …He rivals you in audacity now.
Hu Tao: Me?! How am I weirder?!
While Marioche interventions and real-estate bills were argued over, the world's attention turned onward.
The light-screen flickered.
The Archon Review Opening Soon
Emotion-value harvest season… had arrived.
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
patreon.com/nani_kaito