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Translator: uly
Chapter: 6
Chapter Title: Memories of a Lifetime
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"I need knowledge about this place. Learning and adapting by bumping into things one by one would take too much time. And...."
As I tried to continue, a sudden heaviness settled in one side of my chest.
While crying deep into the dawn, I had many thoughts. First, I mourned my short 25 years of life, and I thought about Rubette for a very long time—the one who had willingly died in my place.
In the process, countless emotions toward her, whom I had never even met, welled up in me.
Regret for treating her like a vicious stalker when she needed just a word of comfort, guilt toward her for giving me a new life even then and leaving...
"Rubette lived 45 years in persecution, right? Then she got a terminal diagnosis and turned back time. And yet her life was so hard that she even thought of suicide again? When she was still so young?"
"...Probably."
The moment I woke up in Rubette's body, I recalled the faces of her siblings who had mocked her.
"I have a rough idea, but just hearing about it doesn't make it feel real. What made Rubette envy my life, what her life was like that drove her to suicide...."
"...."
"...I want to empathize with that child's heart."
Perhaps it was an unexpected request, as Wishit's eyes widened in surprise before he rubbed his chin and muttered.
"Then how will you make your wish? Should I implant knowledge of this world and make you assimilate with Rubette's emotions? That would require two wishes."
I scowled and glared at Wishit.
"You've got a sneaky merchant streak, huh? No welfare benefits for a pitiful soul like me? Like providing knowledge of this world for free?"
"Sorry. It's the rule."
As he shrugged firmly, I swallowed a sigh, pondered, and then spoke.
"No need for two wishes. Make it so I can remember all 45 years of Rubette's life as if it were my own."
"Ah."
"Her knowledge, memories, emotions.... Everything from every moment she saw, heard, and felt. That way, one wish solves everything I need."
Wishit nodded silently at my request, then soon narrowed his eyes.
"It's certainly an efficient way to use a wish, but you'll regret it."
"What?"
"You're saying you'll absorb her life completely as your own? That's no different from becoming Rubette. Can you handle it?"
At his warning words, I hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
"Of course I can. To that extent. Rubette died in my place, after all."
"...Well, fine. You should get a good night's sleep."
For some reason, Wishit smirked, snapped his fingers in the air, and I fell into a deep sleep as if losing consciousness.
After that, it was a long series of dreams.
* * *
Rubettria Diorus.
In this world with its rigid class system, she was born not with a silver spoon, but a diamond one—perhaps even more glamorous in specs than me.
Good lineage, inexhaustible wealth from birth, and from a Spirit User family blessed by spirits, so by age 15, she even had a wish-granting spirit.
And that wasn't all. She had...
A father who was the head of House Diorus, boasting power rivaling the imperial family; an eldest brother who had been managing the house as acting head since age 14, a true talent; and a second brother who, with his exceptional martial prowess, had risen to vice-captain of the imperial knights at a young age.
But sadly, none of it could stop Rubette's fated misfortune.
She never properly made use of what she held in her hands, lived her life enduring abuse, and at 45, received a terminal diagnosis from obesity complications.
That absurd early death was the greatest tragedy at the end of Rubette's life, which already seemed like it couldn't get more miserable.
'But using her first wish, Rubette turned back time.'
Facing death, Rubette regressed. To live her regret-filled life properly this time.
But why, after finally turning back time and regaining her health, did Rubette contemplate suicide....
'Abuse.'
There was a fundamental cause that had prevented her from ever spreading her wings.
I raised my hand as if to ask a question.
"Um, Wishit. Wishes to kill people aren't allowed, right?"
"No. In this world, except for reviving the already dead, there's no wish I can't grant."
At Wishit's straightforward answer, I grew puzzled.
"Then why didn't Rubette wish to get rid of the trash in this house?"
"Her heart was too weak, probably."
"...Interesting."
The feeling was anything but amusing, despite the words.
House Diorus wasn't just Rubette and her family.
Unfortunately, things more devilish than devils lived there too, and Rubette had endured mental abuse from them her entire life.
The level of abuse she suffered was the worst. It was a memory I had somewhat anticipated and accepted, but even so, the surging rage made my teeth grind involuntarily.
I recalled Riki, who had gotten slapped by me yesterday and run out crying, 'I'm telling Mom!'
'Molga Diorus.'
Molga Diorus was the 'mom' that child had mentioned. The birth mother of the arrogant twin siblings, the real power who had gripped and manipulated House Diorus her whole life, and the main perpetrator of Rubette's abuse.
She was a young woman who had been the previous Diorus Duke's—Rubette's grandfather's—concubine, and eventually seized the position of Duchess.
A slender beauty with glamorous golden blonde hair, sea-blue eyes, and white skin.
'Of course, her looks and personality are polar opposites.'
On paper, she was stepmother and stepson to the current Diorus Duke, Rubette's father. But they were only a year apart in age.
'A flour family turned dog-and-cat.'
Feeling suffocated, I kept rubbing above my chest with my palm.
Since the dream, not just information about them, but all of Rubette's memories and emotions toward them had seeped into me, so I couldn't calm down easily.
'Molga, that woman will make my life hell from now on. I have two wishes left, so maybe I should just eliminate her?'
I seriously considered it, then shook my head.
Wasting a wish on that would be too much. I could achieve Rubette's revenge without Wishit's help.
"Will you make another wish?"
At Wishit's question, asked with a hint of expectation, I shook my head.
"Then, what will you do from now on?"
"Hmm...."
I pondered, then got out of bed.
"The most necessary thing for me right now."
"What's that?"
Instead of answering, I went to the table in the center of the room, pulled off the white tablecloth, and spread it on the bed.
Then, I opened the first drawer of the bedside table. There were about ten individually wrapped macarons of various colors.
'I hoarded snacks like this and ate nonstop.'
I took out all the macarons and placed them on the spread tablecloth.
The second drawer had candies and chocolates, the third had bite-sized cookie packs. I moved those to the tablecloth too.
As I headed to the next spot.
"...."
Seeing Wishit standing there frozen, a certain memory of Rubette suddenly surfaced.
"Stop crying. If you don't want to be teased, wish to me. Just become pretty and slim, that's all."
"No. Once I start wishing, I'll get greedy. Before I know it, I'll use up all three wishes. Then I'd have to part with you forever. That's too sad."
The reason Rubette never made a single wish her whole life, like a fool. It wasn't really because she didn't want to waste them unnecessarily.
"You disappear after three wishes, huh."
"...."
Wishit paused and looked down at me quietly.
'After using all three wishes, Wishit disappears. That's why Rubette desperately saved them.'
For the lifelong loner Rubette, Wishit's existence as her only friend was huge, so I could fully understand holding out without wishing.
And probably...
'To this alien, Rubette was a very precious friend too.'
I couldn't even imagine what Wishit felt, having no choice but to grant her wish to die in my place.
"Sorry. It wasn't my intention, but I still made you lose a precious friend."
I apologized in a small voice.
"...."
Wishit silently looked down at me for a long while before turning his gaze away and speaking.
"...No. From the start, it was Rubette who wanted to peek into your life, and I who granted that wish, so this isn't your fault."
With a heavy heart, I swallowed a sigh and crossed the room to the wardrobe.
Opening it revealed massive, baggy dresses tailored to Rubette's size.
Reaching between the dresses, I grabbed armful-sized snack packs galore.
As I pulled them out, I said.
"You know, Rubette didn't contemplate suicide because she didn't value you being left alone. It was because living was truly, truly unbearable."
"...."
I couldn't see Wishit's face behind me, but I could imagine his expression without looking.
'Even after regressing, kind-hearted Rubette's personality remained. She lacked the ruthlessness to punish the wicked, and couldn't resist her life flowing the same way again.'
Nothing had changed just because time turned back. If anything, the fear of reliving that hellish life exactly the same tormented her.
"Haa...."
With a sigh, I opened the lower drawer attached to the wardrobe. It was full of bags of her favorite chocolate cookies.
Arms full of diet saboteurs from the wardrobe, I returned to the bed and dumped them on the tablecloth.
"And there's something you're mistaken about."
"What?"
Turning to Wishit with a grin, I said.
"Rubette didn't want to live as a pretty, slim woman. She just wanted to live happily."
"...."
"But the reason she envied the life of a pretty, slim woman was because she thought her unhappiness came from being ugly and fat. This family's devils made her think that."
"...I see."
"If she hadn't been abused, she wouldn't have stressed over her appearance...."
As I spoke, I got down on my stomach and reached under the bed.
"...Ngh, at all."
Sweeping up the rustling candy bags that touched my arm, I gathered a bunch. I picked them up one by one and moved them to the tablecloth.
"Whew, is that all?"
I quickly wiped the sweat from my forehead, grabbed the corners of the tablecloth, and tied them tightly. The sealed snack bundle was enormous.
"I owe Rubette, so I'll fulfill her wish. She wanted to live happily, so I'll make it happen."
"Yeah, I get it, but...."
Wishit poked his face next to mine as I looked down at the snack bundle and asked.
"...Why did you bundle all this up? What are you doing?"
"What else? Lose weight?"
At my frowning reply to his obvious question, he scoffed.
"Contradictory."
"How?"
"You just said what Rubette wanted was simply a happy life. Being slim isn't necessary for happiness, right?"
"Yeah, exactly."
"But you still plan to lose weight, so ultimately, you just don't want to live as fat Rubette."
"Hmm...."
I wagged my index finger in front of Wishit.
"Even if looks aren't the standard for happiness, I still need to lose weight. Hellish diet starts today."
"Why?"
"Why do you keep asking the obvious?"
I shrugged and said.
"Obesity is the root of all diseases. I'm passing on dying at 45 from obesity complications."