Dawn broke.
One thing that had definitely changed since I arrived here was my sleep schedule. There was no clock here, so I slept and woke up whenever I felt like it. Irresponsible, I know. Not that I have anything in particular to do.
But today was different. I got up from the rough bed of the inn to start my day, much earlier than usual. Finishing my morning routine and getting over the tasteless breakfast, I headed out. My feeling was mixed. But what was done is done. I could always regret it later.
Walking through the now familiar roads, then navigating the maze of the backstreets, I arrived at a secluded open lot. There was a sole spiral staircase, leading to a plain white door. It felt utterly out of place, yet strangely inviting.
The stairs clanked and rattled with every step. Loud enough to pass for a doorbell. I stood in front of the door, nervous.
The door opened. Magically, with no one to be seen. The interior was barely lit, with numerous papers and books neatly organized in towers. Rows of bookshelves came into my view, and the strange scent of aged paper. One could mistake this place for a library.
-Slam!
The door shut behind me the moment I took a step in. The candles flickered, and with a soft hiss, another flame caught, revealing a faint silhouette. Seated in an armchair, Eirlys was waiting for me. Her long white hair gleamed softly in the darkness, catching what little light the room held.
I was tense and anxious, but she seemed completely at ease. Well, it was her home after all, and as much as I hate to admit it, this was the first time I went into a girl's home.
...I really did mean it when I said my life was very boring, okay?
I knew what I wanted to say since I've been thinking about it on the way here. But now, I find it hard to voice my thoughts. Why is that?
Eirlys readily took the initiative.
"I take that you are ready to cooperate with me, correct?"
"Actually, no. I'm here because I still have questions."
"What more would you want to know? Isn't subjugating demonbeasts your goal? You are not doubting my skills, right?"
"Uh, I'm not doubting your skills or anything like that..."
"So?"
Against Eirlys's constant inquiries, it was so hard to say anything. Especially when I was not sure what I wanted for myself.
Maybe I really don't understand what I want myself, because even when Eirlys waited for me to speak up. I couldn't.
Eirlys sighed.
"Don't tell me you are thinking of giving up?"
"!"
I couldn't refute it. I knew what she meant. Giving up on the path of a Chosen One goes against every reason I am still standing here. It was entirely my fault for shouldering another fate, one not foreseen for me. I had this coming for me.
At first, I thought that once I get over it, get used to it, I could walk the path a Chosen One is supposed to take again. Defeating demons and saving the world, all of that.
But I have been thinking about it. About how I'm not suited for this. About how I should be content living a normal life.
Eirlys's offer was the only reason I hadn't given up yet. Maybe that was why I was here.
Eirlys gave me an incredulous look. I get it. The notion that someone as special as a Chosen One turning away from his responsibilities must be ridiculous.
-Snap
A chair glided towards me after her gesture. It stopped next to me. Wait, why does this feel like I am about to be lectured?
"Cain. Sit down."
"...Sure."
Eirlys looked me in the eye. I glanced back hesitantly, as though I were guilty of something.
The awkward silence lingered until Eirlys abruptly stood and began pacing, voicing her thoughts as she went.
"...Frankly speaking, I'm not good at giving advice, but I know someone who definitely could change your mind."
"Really? Who is it?"
"You."
That was... a very objectively correct answer.
"As such, I'll ask you the questions you need right now, so that you can find the way forward yourself."
"Um, sure?"
"Then, to start, how was your week?"
"H-huh? It was—"
My voice faltered. I was about to say "fine", but it would be the worst lie ever. My week was anything but fine. So many things happened that I don't even know how to start. Not just this week, the whole time had been nothing but a mess.
Angela. Regression. Evan. Demonbeast.
The answer was clear.
"It was a nightmare."
"I see."
Eirlys simply nodded at my answer, as if that was to be expected.
"Are you scared of it, then?"
"Of course. I do not want to go through them again."
"Do you have any regrets?"
"I do.
"Do you wish to undo them?"
"..."
I do. I already did once, but how could I be sure there would be a second chance? Besides, it didn't change much, so would it even matter anyway?
Eirlys noticed my hesitation. She stopped, waiting for my answer.
Only now had I really thought it through. Would I want to return to the past?
"No."
"...?"
Eirlys sent me a questioning look, as if she couldn't understand my thought process—how could I reach such a conclusion.
"Why?"
"It's hard to put into words, but..."
I recalled that time when Angela died for me. The second time.
"...I just think it wouldn't change that much. Like you would still feel empty all the same, as if nothing had really changed."
Feelings of regret come from the memories of the past. Even if you could somehow undo it, the memories stayed. Should you really be thinking about how to get rid of it? I think all memories are important.
Maybe I just think this way because I experienced what undoing your mistakes entails. Going back to the past, being forgotten, and starting everything anew. All just to undo some mistakes of the past.
Personally, it was not pleasant. I had always thought that was because of Angela's death, but it was not. Even if I were to save Angela, I would still feel the same. Because to me, Angela simply doesn't die a third time.
Meaningless, wasn't it?
"I see. This is now much easier. Helping you, that is."
"?"
"Do you know the Laws of Motion, Cain?"
"Huh? Yes, I guess?"
"The first law states that an object at rest will remain so unless acted upon by an external force. That said..."
Eirlys came closer. Her gaze pierced through me.
"Do you truly wish to remain at rest? Knowing that you might never move again?"
"...If you put it like that, then I don't."
"Hm, then one final question, Cain. This is the most important one, so answer it honestly."
I finally met her gaze.
"Do you want to live?"
After all the questions she had asked, it was clear Eirlys meant more than that.
But the answer remains clear.
"Yes. I do."
"Is that so? Then, I suppose this impromptu consultation comes to an end here."
Eirlys casually returned to her seat. Eyes still on me, waiting for something. Huh.
Oh well, whatever, might as well try it out. I had laid my heart bare anyway.
"...Sure, I will join your party."
"Be more specific."
"Uh, I will accompany you in your demonbeast hunts from now on. Is that clear enough?"
"It's acceptable."
Eirlys straightened slightly, her mage robes falling into clearer view.
"Let me introduce myself again. I am Eirlys, an undergraduate 3-star mage of the Grand Academic City of Brecilien. I hunt demonbeast solely for experience, nothing more. Look forward to our acquaintance, Cain."
"Do I need to reintroduce myself, too?"
"It's unnecessary, I can see it for myself."
It is definitely going to take a while to get used to her all-knowing attitude. Also, I am curious about one thing.
"How old are you?"
"...It's rude to ask that, you know?"
"How come? I'm eighteen, by the way."
"I neither asked nor cared. Don't you have better questions to ask? Like the details going forward?"
"No. Can you answer my question? You look quite young, actually. Are you younger than me?"
"..."
Eirlys ignored me. How indifferent. Is being younger than me that big of a deal? Or is she actually much older than she looks? Guess I have to stick around to find out.
In the end, I chose to move, though still uncertain of my destination. However, Eirlys reminded me of the vast difference between moving and not moving, and when she made out things like this.
It just sounds like this is meant to be.