I walked down the stairs in mechanical yet steady steps. I kept my gaze fixated on Brother's back the whole way down, until we made it to the bottom.
My gaze lingered on him for one extra moment before I pried it off and glanced at the living room. Dad was sitting in his usual seat, eating breakfast like he always did. Mom was in the kitchen preparing Brother's lunch and mine—like she usually did. It was almost like nothing happened the day prior—except for the fact that a stale silence hung in the room. Dad didn't give me his usual good-morning affection, and Mom didn't scold him to shut up and eat.
What am I… even supposed to do here?
It felt like no matter what I did, I'd end up drawing Mom's gaze. I turned toward my Brother one more time. I don't know whether he noticed it or not, but the moment I did, he quietly walked over to the fridge and grabbed two pieces of cake.
"Are you just going to stand there all day? Or are you gonna eat the cake while standing? Hurry up and sit down."
Brother's cold voice cut through the stale silence of the room. Dad, Mom, and I all tensed at the abruptness of it. I couldn't help but chuckle lightly. Jeez, I know I'll definitely never be able to do it the way you do. He used the cake and his sheer audacity to shatter the quiet.
Brother then proceeded to take uncharacteristically semi-loud steps toward the couch. Timing my own steps with his, I scurried across the room until I made it to the couch. He sat down shortly after I did and offered me one of the cakes along with a fork.
"Thanks," I said as I began stuffing myself with the cake. Brother simply shrugged his shoulders as he continued to do the same.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Mom was eyeing us—no, me—down. My heart tightened as a shuddering breath escaped me, but I continued eating like I didn't notice.
As another bite of cake approached my mouth, a hand came forward and ripped the fork out of my hands. My body immediately tensed, but I whipped my head in the direction the hand came from.
I let out a quiet sigh of relief. It was just Dad. He chewed on the cake with a delighted grin spread across his face.
"Thank you, my lovely daughter."
He handed me the fork once he was finished and gave me a soft kiss on the head.
"Well, I have to go to work now," he said with his usual beaming smile. "Bye-bye, you two. I love you both!"
Before he left, he softly ruffled Brother's hair, to which Brother slapped his hand away. Dad chuckled obnoxiously as he always did at Brother's reaction. He then grabbed his bag and left through the front door.
The moment the door clicked shut, the warmth Dad brought with him vanished. A heavy, airless sigh descended upon the room. I glanced to the side and saw that Brother still had a mouthful of cake. So, it could've only come from one person. I set the cake down on my lap and dug my nails into the palms of my hands. Well, it's now or never!
I turned my head and, for the first time since yesterday, made eye contact with Mom. She wore that same angelic, graceful smile. Yet, even that couldn't hide the small creases that formed on her forehead.
"Lily, what are you doing?"
Her voice was so calm, so loving—but it only made me all the more frightened.
"Wh-what do you mean?" I replied hurriedly.
Mom let out a soft "Hmmm" as she placed a finger on her cheek and began approaching me with quiet steps. My heart pounded in my ears, thudding louder and louder with each passing moment.
Mom stopped moving once she was a couple of feet away from me. She wasn't close enough to touch me, but she wasn't far enough for me to evade her any longer.
"You know, Lily, I let you have the cake for today. Even though it pains me that you still ignored the dieting I told you to do, I thought one day wouldn't hurt."
She took a step closer.
"But… what I can't ignore—is your hair."
I gritted my teeth, then opened my mouth to say something. But before the words could even come out of my mouth…
"No, there is no excuse. I've been doing your hair for you ever since you were a baby. I've told you time and time again to take your appearance seriously. And you have. You started doing your hair and your makeup all on your own. It makes me so happy!"
The hairs on the back of my neck began to stand on end. And with it, memories from long ago flashed in my mind. The words she was telling me at the moment began to overlap with the words she had said to me from all the way back then.
Stop! Are you just going to sit here all day? Hurry up and say something!
I dug my nails into my thighs, the pain sweeping through my mind and erasing all other thoughts. I glared at Mom and screamed, "Okay?! So wh–"
"So tell me, why is it that after all this time, your hair looks no better than what it did when you were a child…?" Her voice trailed off, and she lowered her head. Mom's chest expanded as she let in a deep breath. Then, she raised her head back up at me. I flinched in my seat.
She slowly parted her lips, and she spoke. "Are you doing this on purpose? Are you trying to spite me? Don't tell me you plan on going to school looking like that? No, my daughter will not be ugly. I. Will not. Allow that."
I loudly slammed my hand against the edge of the sofa.
Allow??? Like I need your permission! Don't think you can tell me what I can and can't do!
"STOP–"
"Come here."
"NO–"
"Let me fix it, just like old times."
"NEV–"
"L. I. L. Y."
The rest of my words died out in my throat, fading into a nonexistent whisper. She said my name with the same tenderness she always did. Yet, beneath all that love and affection, there was an abominable will that would not accept anything until she got her way. That will froze the whole room, turning the air into ice. All the hope I'd gathered throughout the last twenty-four hours began to shatter. N-no…
Mom extended her hand towards me. I blinked—and saw the same long, witch-like fingers that had haunted me ever since I was a kid. The blood drained from my face.
"Lily, be a good girl and let your Mother fix it, okay?"
My vision blurred, and my thoughts muddled together. Ah, it was hopeless after all. I can't stand up to Mother or Father.
My arms and legs slowly went limp.
I'm doomed to live like this forever. I can't be like Big Brother at all. It was a fool's dream to even think I could ever be like him.
All control was released from me as my mind blanked. I felt strength well up in my legs until my body slowly began to stand.
It's all over…
It was only then that I heard a muffled crinkling sound. For that split second, my eyes instinctively refocused. At this point, I was standing straight up with my gaze fully directed at Mother. But in my peripheral vision, I saw an out-of-place green packet. When I shifted my gaze towards the packet, a gasp escaped my lips. It was… my favourite candy.
The green of the wrapper was so bright, so real, it felt like a tether to… hope—along with a relationship that I thought had long since passed.
I shifted my eyes toward my Brother. The moment I did, he stood up, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door. Without turning back to me, he said, "I'll be waiting for you. So try being a little nice and don't keep me waiting too long."
I couldn't help but scoff.
Again, would it kill you to be just a little nicer?
But I shook my head and looked back at Mom with a smile on my face.
Sorry to call your bluff, but I know you're not going anywhere until this is done.
Even as I glared at Mom, I kept my Brother in my field of vision. He stopped at the door and looked at both of us with his detached expression. Yeah, I thought so.
My Brother was waiting. As long as he was there for me, Mom—no, no one could swallow me whole.
I jumped over the couch and took a step forward.
Make sure you watch me, okay? I'm going to make you proud.
Now, only Mom and I were left in the room.