I continued down the bleak hallway. Everything should have been normal—I should have felt normal—but cold pricks crawled along my skin. I glanced down at the floor. Dad's shadow stretched across it, unmoving, as if it were watching me. I didn't stop. I kept going to Lily's room, pretending I hadn't noticed.
My hand gripped the doorknob. A shiver ran through me, freezing me in place. But Dad's shadow hovered in the corner of my eye, pushing me forward. I quickly opened the door.
As I did, a blinding light pierced my eyes. I squinted as the pain flared.
My vision slowly adjusted to the room. When it did, the first thing I saw once they did was my sister sitting on the floor, arms and legs crossed. Her index finger tapped repeatedly against her arm while she glared at me.
"Hey-"
Her complaint cut off midway. Lily's eyes widened as she stared at me. I remained standing there impassively, but my legs felt heavier. After a moment, she let out a deep sigh and slowly shook her head.
"It took you long enough! Hurry up and get in, and close the damn door while you're at it!"
I pushed out a scoff.
"You ever heard of patience is a virtue?"
"Ever heard of it's rude to make a girl wait?"
I let a pause stretch between us before responding. Lily caught it and softened, just a little.
"...You're less of a girl and more like a freak of nature."
That softness disappeared instantly.
"What? You wanna say that again—but a little closer this time?"
I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle.
This stupid sister of mine…
I walked over to where she was sitting and threw the bag at her. A surprised yelp escaped her lips before it was muffled by the bag in her face. She tore it off and furiously threw it back at me. I easily caught it with one hand. She clicked her tongue in irritation.
"Ughhh, I don't wanna play this stupid game anymore!" she complained as she turned away from me.
"You're only saying that because you're losing."
"Okay, and? Point is, I'm done. Let's just eat."
I sighed.
"Whatever you say."
I grabbed the contents out of the bag and placed them on the floor. The sushi inside the containers was… unrecognizable. The rolls became undone, pieces of salmon splattered the interior, and sauce stained the boxes.
My sister and I turned to each other simultaneously, both of us wearing the same face of cluelessness.
"How the hell did that happen?" she asked, genuinely baffled.
"I dunno. What if this is just the process of cultivation?"
Lily snickered.
"Don't be stupid. The process of cultivation isn't THAT easy."
She rested her hand on her chin, wearing a look of serious contemplation.
"Hmm… wait, hear me out, what if—and I know this is gonna sound crazy—we are the problem?"
I scoffed at that preposterous idea. I waved my hand, shooing her idea away.
"What? That's impossible. I'm perfect. And you… well, you'd never ruin food at the very least. There's no way this is our fault. It probably just came like this."
"Tsk, those damn lazy workers. I'm gonna file a complaint the next time I see them!"
"..."
"..."
"I'm bored."
"Me too."
"Well, that was fun while it lasted. Let's just eat."
I opened each of the food containers. Once I did, their aroma leaked out and mingled in the air—soy sauce, spicy mayo, seaweed, and salmon.
The sound of a stomach growling ruined the serene mood. Sigh, good things always have to come to an end… I turned to Lily; her face was bright red.
"W-what? A girl can't get hungry??"
"Talk about embarrassing."
"Oh shut up! I haven't eaten all day! God forbid a man gets hungry."
"Well, there's no point in holding back; help yourself."
That's what I said, but my sister didn't move. She simply sat there, head tilted, staring at me as if expecting something.
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?"
Missing something?
I looked around. Five different packs of sushi. Three drinks. Two bags of chips. That was everything that we bought from the store. What could we be forgetting?
Lily let out an obnoxious groan.
"Ugh. Looks like someone doesn't know what table manners are."
"Table manners? We are about to eat on the floor. What manners do we even have?"
Her eyebrows furrowed together. Before I could do anything, Lily dramatically shot to her feet and stabbed her index finger at my face.
"Well, listen here, you! How do you expect me to eat this, huh?!"
I scratched my head.
"Uhh, ever heard of hands?"
She staggered back, clutching her chest.
"Wha– a lady doesn't eat with her hands! Where are my goddamn chopsticks?!"
"You eat chicken with your hands."
"That's that, this is this!"
She chewed my ear off for two whole minutes about how she absolutely refused to eat with her hands. When she finally ran out of breath, hands braced on her knees, I immediately took my chance.
"Then, why don't you just go get the chopsticks downstairs?"
"..."
When I said that, my sister's smile tightened. My chest did the same. I went too far…
The worm of guilt that I had ignored from earlier resurfaced, infesting my heart. Dad's voice from minutes ago echoed in my head.
"You really do love your sister, after all! You should show that to her more; she thinks you hate her."
I clenched my fists tightly, feeling the blood draining from them. I opened my mouth to say something—anything, but the words didn't come.
I hung my head low. Even after all this, I couldn't bring myself to even apologise.
Dad's voice surfaced once more. This time, from fourteen years ago—the time Julie babysat us. He was right all along, I'm such…
"A failure."
Suddenly, a soft yet firm voice broke the silence, filling the room with warmth once again.
"Yeah… I think I will."
The voice spoke with a dignity that I had never heard before. Who… is that?
My head shot up, and I couldn't help but gasp. The person who had said that wasn't my little sister.
It was Lily.
Lily barred her gaze straight into mine. There was conviction in her eyes, and the smile on her face wasn't one of a child's anymore.
I stammered, the words jumbled in my throat. Lily shook her head gently.
"No, it's okay. You've done enough for me today, really."
She paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and continued.
"Thank you, but… I want to do at least this much. Just on my own."
Lily turned towards the door and took steady steps towards it. It's only been a day and yet… she's changed so much.
The guilt still infested my heart, but that didn't stop the proud smile spreading across my face.
"Yeah… you go do that," I said quietly.
"I'll be waiting here for you until you come back."
Lily gave me a firm nod without looking back. She gripped the doorknob, opened the door, and left the room. I watched as her retreating figure grew smaller as she crossed the hallway, then disappeared down the stairs without hesitation.
I let out a long breath once she was gone.
She's… finally growing up.
No—that's wrong to say.
She has been growing up all this time, I've just always seen her as nothing more than my little sister. I was only able to see how much she's grown because at that moment… I stopped seeing myself as her older brother.
I tightly clenched my teeth.
How ironic is it that I was only capable of seeing her for who she is when I saw myself for who I was?
A bitter laugh echoed in the empty room.
My sister… is growing away from me.
I leaned back and sank to the floor. My vision blurred as the emptiness settled in, hollowing out my chest. The guilt didn't leave.
But the smile on my face didn't either.