The Guild Master's promise of 5,000,000 Eris for retrieving the Guild Mascot, Sir Reginald, had completely overwritten Kazuma's usual cowardice. He was practically vibrating with financial ambition, his new Pervert's Portable Pocket Dimension ring ready to be filled with loot.
"Five million Eris! That's enough to buy a dozen Explosions and still have money left over for a lifetime supply of bath bombs!" Kazuma cheered, leading the team into the Whispering Woods.
The quest led them to a large clearing bordered by ancient, gnarled trees. The air was calm, and the path was completely unguarded by any Goblins or Slimes.
However, the field was not empty. It was filled—absolutely, meticulously filled—with hundreds of massive, snow-white sheep. They all looked perfectly healthy, perfectly fluffy, and perfectly, maddeningly identical.
"Which one is the mascot?" Tanjiro asked, confused by the peaceful scene.
Kazuma pulled out the official quest image provided by the Guild Master: a piece of parchment with a drawing that looked like a sheep had been sketched by a four-year-old using a stick of charcoal. It was mostly a cloud shape with stick legs and a vague, lopsided smile.
"This is the official portrait of Sir Reginald," Kazuma stated, holding up the terrible drawing. "We need to find the one that matches this... artistic nightmare."
[Attempt 1: The Conceptual Scan (Gojo)]
Gojo, adjusting his new Legendary Blinding Glasses to the sleek black bandage mode, stepped forward.
"If this sheep is a mascot, it must be imbued with some unique stabilizing charm or high-concept magical energy," Gojo theorized, his Six Eyes absorbing the data from the hundreds of fluffy forms. "I will find the one that resonates the highest with ambient mana."
He scanned the field for ten intense seconds.
"The results are in," Gojo announced, sighing dramatically. "They are all exactly the same. They are all Grade 4 magical creatures—perfectly inert, perfectly generic, and radiating the exact same low-grade sheep essence. They are, conceptually, identical."
[Attempt 2: The Empathy Scent (Tanjiro)]
Tanjiro knelt, using his Hinokami Breathing Focus Stone to maintain total concentration against the sensory overload of wool and fresh grass. He sniffed the air, tracking the faint trails of the creatures.
"I will find the kindest sheep," Tanjiro determined. "The mascot must be the one with the gentlest soul!"
He spent two minutes sprinting through the field, sniffing sheep butts. He returned looking deeply conflicted.
"They all smell exactly the same: terrified," Tanjiro reported. "They are equally pure in their fear. It is a perfect, terrifying balance of simple innocence and generalized terror."
[Attempt 3: The Existential Threat (Jin-Woo)]
Jin-Woo, wrapped in his Monarch's Cloak of Silent Steps, finally had enough. He stepped out of the shadows, revealing his chilling, intent stare.
"If the scent and concept are identical, we will use intimidation," Jin-Woo declared. He focused his entire Shadow Monarch Authority—a crushing, palpable wave of Killing Intent—directly onto the center of the field. "The real mascot will be the one whose core identity is strong enough to resist my terror."
The result was immediate. Every single sheep in the entire field instantly collapsed onto the ground, fainting dead away. Hundreds of fluffy white bodies lay motionless.
"Well, now we have two hundred candidates," Saitama deadpanned.
[Attempt 4: The Cool Guru's Insight (Okarun)]
Okarun, fully possessed by the Turbo-Granny spirit, slowly walked among the unconscious sheep, looking them over with a deep, philosophical gaze.
"The mascot is an anchor, man," Okarun-Granny mused. "It's gotta be the one whose psychic vibration is the most off-kilter from the general sheep herd vibe. You gotta feel the flow."
He stopped at a sheep and poked it. "This one feels like... existential dread. Not the mascot." He poked another. "This one feels like... cheap hay. Not the mascot."
"You're wasting time!" Kazuma wailed. "We need to go, or the Guild Master will give us a coupon!"
The clock was ticking, and they had failed to find any logical distinction between the mascots. Defeated, they began to trudge back towards the Guild, accepting failure.
Kazuma, however, was weeping bitter, financial tears. Five million Eris! Gone!
"I can't leave! This is five million! It has to be worth something!" Kazuma shouted.
Suddenly, driven by pure, frantic greed, a terrible idea struck him. If the mascot was a High Priority quest target, it must be valuable, and if it was valuable, it must have a valuable item on it.
He raced back to the nearest unconscious sheep, the hideous drawing forgotten.
"STEAL!" Kazuma screamed, pointing his hand at the sheep.
He was hoping for a legendary coin, or maybe a magical bell. He received something far more mundane, yet utterly unique:
A small, intricately carved wooden Name Tag on a leather necklace, with the words "Sir Reginald—Property of Guild Master" burned into the wood.
The Guild Master, obsessed with safety, had simply given his prize mascot a discreet, mundane identifier that no magical scan or killing intent could detect.
"I stole his nametag! I am the greatest thief who ever lived!" Kazuma shrieked, holding the tiny wooden tag aloft, tears of manic triumph streaming down his face. "I AM THE HERO! OUR MONEY - I MEAN FOUND HIM!"
Jin-Woo stared. Gojo burst out laughing, adjusting his glasses. "The highest level of magic was defeated by a simple label. That's incredible."
Tanjiro smiled. "Kazuma-san, you truly saved the day! Your quick thinking was astonishing!"
The correct Sir Reginald—now confirmed by the nametag—was loaded into a ridiculously sized carriage and escorted back to the Guild.
The Guild Master, overjoyed by the return of his beloved mascot, stepped forward to hand over the reward.
Kazuma, hands trembling, held out his Pocket Dimension ring, anticipating the mountain of gold.
The Guild Master beamed and handed him a single, oversized, gold-embossed scroll.
**"Ah, marvelous work, heroes! As your High-Grade Premium Reward, we offer you all an ALL-NIGHT PASS to the Grand Hot Springs of the Whispering Woods!"
The air in the Guild Hall instantly dropped ten degrees.
Kazuma felt the familiar, crushing weight of reality. He screamed. It was a high-pitched, desperate sound of a man betrayed by the universe's economy.
"HOT SPRINGS?! YOU GAVE US A COUPON?! WE FOUGHT OFF CONCEPTUAL THREATS AND SOLVED A SHEEP PUZZLE FOR A FREE WASH!" Kazuma screamed, throwing the scroll into the air. "I DEMAND MY FIVE MILLION ERIS! I CAN'T BATHE IN MONEY! I'M GOING TO BURN THIS ENTIRE GUILD TO THE GROUND!"
Gojo patted the distraught Kazuma on the shoulder. "It's okay, buddy. Look on the bright side. At least we get to show off our abs in the Hot Springs."
Kazuma sobbed uncontrollably, while the Guild Master simply shrugged, utterly convinced he had given them the greatest treasure in the world.