"Someone who easily makes friends and always has people around them. In other words, a social butterfly.
Unfortunately, my past self was not such a person.
Getting rejected after confessing and then enlisting in the military? That reeks of being a loner.
Ah, real loners don't even try to confess? Fair enough, I'll admit that.
So what should I call myself then? Ah, I know. Let me correct myself: I was an idiot.
"None of the students took a leave of absence. Everyone's still attending classes just fine."
According to Senior Marcus, all my classmates are still here.
I thought about going around to greet them, but something felt off, so I retreated for now.
Even walking around the Academy, I can't tell who's who anymore.
I really don't recognize anyone. If I can barely remember names, faces are even worse.
Talk about bad luck. Of all people, my classmates had to be from noble families I rarely interacted with.
Hey, past self! If you were going to take a leave anyway, couldn't you have made some friends first?
How is it possible that I know so few people... I'm seriously going crazy...
'Should I just hang in there until people from the families I used to interact with arrive?'
If I can just endure for about a year and a half, the people I was somewhat close with should arrive.
That thought alone gives me a tiny bit of hope—just enough to push me forward.
But damn. A year and a half sounds easy, but I'm already dreading how to get through it.
Time in the Academy feels slower, heavier, and far more suffocating than actual war.
At least in the military, we bonded quickly through our shared experiences.
Bleeding together, freezing together, starving together—that kind of thing creates instant camaraderie.
Even the juniors and seniors who kept their distance at first because I was a noble soon became comfortable around me.
Battlefield fear has a strange way of erasing social classes.
That's why they gave me the sergeant rank at the end, asking, "You're just going to stay here forever?"
Honestly, that moment almost made me reconsider leaving.
But the Academy... from what I remember, it's quite an ambiguous place.
Not dangerous, not safe—just a maze of awkward social rules and hidden agendas.
Maybe because this is a romance fantasy novel, everyone's busy flirting here and there.
People pair off like it's their primary mission.
Or because it's an academy, it's just an extension of the political arena.
Students here don't talk—they negotiate.
Either way, it's extremely uncomfortable for me as a military veteran returning to school.
A battlefield is simpler. Enemies are clear, orders are clear.
Here? Everything feels like a trap.
Still, the reason I came to the Academy… honestly, it's frustrating.
It feels like I'm forcing myself into a world that doesn't fit me.
It's bad enough that I've served in the military twice, including my past life, and as a private soldier at that.
Two lifetimes of being cannon fodder—what kind of cosmic joke is that?
For a nobleman to spend his life stuck in the military is like hell.
Endless orders, endless duty, and no room to breathe.
Now that I've been reincarnated, I should at least experience academy life.
Just once, I want something normal.
I may not understand the flirting, but I should at least try that much.
Even if I end up failing miserably, it's still better than running away again.
That's the sole reason I returned to the Academy after being discharged.
A fresh start—even if it feels terrifying.
"Huh? Wait. Are you Leon?"
A voice calls out, pulling me back to reality and interrupting my spiraling thoughts.
An unfamiliar voice, and an even more unfamiliar face.
But looking closely, I think I might have seen him before. The features are fuzzy, like something from a distant memory that refuses to settle.
While I'm trying to remember, the male student approaches and exclaims with surprise.
"It really is Leon! What's this, did you return to school?!"
"Um… Et… ve?"
The name slips out awkwardly. My brain is scrambling, flipping through half-buried memories.
"What are you saying? It's Etbin, man! Etbin!"
Ah. Right. Etbin. Sorry. Now that I look at you, I'm starting to remember.
His face finally connects to a vague recollection—someone I was somewhat close with since we're both from the eastern part of the Empire.
Not a best friend, not a stranger—somewhere in between.
"Back then you suddenly took a leave without saying anything. And now you've returned just as quietly."
"What good would making a fuss do? It would just make things awkward for everyone."
I shrug, trying to sound casual, but my voice feels stiff.
"Awkward? Why?"
Why is this guy pretending not to know? He should know everything.
My stomach tightens with embarrassment just thinking about it.
"Selena. It would be uncomfortable for both of us. Even though it was a few years ago, it's still awkward, you know."
"Why would that be?"
"Ugh, damn it. Right after I enrolled, I confessed to Selena like an idiot! And got rejected! You were there too, so why are you acting like this?!"
"Huh? No, this is the first time I'm hearing about this?"
What nonsense is this? Why are you hearing this for the first time? Damn it!
My face feels like it's burning.
"No... I had some family business to attend to for a few days, and when I returned, you were gone. Then you took a leave. And now I'm seeing you again. I really didn't know anything."
"..."
Ah. So you didn't know. This was news to you. Damn it.
So I've just voluntarily shared my dark history with my own mouth.
Out of all the things to blurt out on my first day back… why that?
"Wait, you confessed to Selena?"
"Shut up."
"Then you must have been the first one she rejected."
"I said shut up. I don't even want to remember it."
"But taking a leave just because you got rejected seems a bit much, doesn't it? There must be over ten guys who've been rejected by Selena since then. But they're all still attending and are now in their final year, Leon."
Please, just stop. Saying it like that makes me sound even more pathetic.
Each word feels like someone is pounding a nail straight into my pride.
Taking a leave and running off to the military after being rejected is crazy enough, but I enlisted as a private.
A private.
A nobleman who becomes cannon fodder—just thinking about it makes my chest tighten.
And thanks to that, including my past life, I've enlisted twice! Argh! I have two discharge papers!!
Who in the world stacks discharge papers like they're achievement badges?
"If things are still awkward, wouldn't it be good to resolve it somehow?"
"What's there to resolve? Time will take care of everything."
Or at least I desperately want time to take care of it, because I sure as hell can't.
"But Selena is graduating after this semester. Graduating."
"Right. Graduation. And then she'll get married right away."
That's how the story should go—because that's how the novel went.
The story as I remember it goes something like this:
Couples who flirted intensely at the Academy get married right after graduation.
From what I saw of the ending, it was sickeningly sweet…
Enough to give me indigestion in two lifetimes.
"Marriage? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Selena."
"Why would she get married? Was there an arranged marriage proposal?"
Are you asking me that now? I was in the military until recently.
"How would I know anything?" I mutter, rubbing my temples. "I spent my days getting shot at, frozen half to death, and eating mud. You think marriage rumors were floating around the trenches?"
My voice comes out sharper than intended, but really—what does he expect?
Still, he was giving me a confused look.
Like I had said something completely insane.
So, I asked in frustration.
"Who's with Selena now?"
"No one."
"...No one?"
"Yeah, no one. I told you, she's rejected over ten guys so far."
"?2"
No, wait. No one is with Selena? How is that possible?
My mind freezes like someone dumped a bucket of cold water over my head.
From what I remember, shouldn't she be setting a wedding date by now?
Shouldn't the Male Lead be by her side already?
Shouldn't destiny be unfolding like it did in the novel?
But instead…
Nothing?
No romance?
No fiancé?
No chosen hero?
What the hell happened?