Zhongli's hand trembled—
the teacup nearly slipped from his fingers.
"Guest Consultant, what's wrong?"
Hu Tao turned toward him, noticing the sudden movement.
"Nothing. I'm just… rather surprised to hear that Geo Archon was assassinated."
Zhongli set the cup down with a small sigh.
"Yeah… I wonder what exactly happened,"
Hu Tao frowned.
Then—
her eyes sparkled with a terrifying idea.
"…Say, do you think our Funeral Parlor can handle that kind of order later…?"
Zhongli: "..."
"…I'll need to rethink my retirement reasons."
He rubbed his temples helplessly.
Left unchecked, this misunderstanding could cause real chaos.
He quickly sent a voice transmission to Cloud Retainer and the other adepti, explaining the situation briefly.
Cloud Retainer, Moon Carver, Xiao—
all were stunned.
They had never expected the truth to be like this.
But after hearing it directly from Geo Archon's own mouth, they stopped arguing.
Ningguang, Keqing, Childe and the rest were left confused by the sudden silence—
but the projection was moving again, so they put aside their questions for now.
Earth — Arthur continues
"Next, in Inazuma—
Lumine publicly interrupted the Shogun's execution scene."
"And then lost the fight, escaping in an extremely embarrassing fashion."
"Wanted again!"
"This time, without any misunderstandings."
"Then in Sumeru, while trying to rescue Lesser Lord Kusanali, she was chased by the Matra."
"And yes—she was actually thrown in jail."
"In Fontaine…"
Arthur smirked.
"She ate a cake that the Fatui envoy had personally prepared as an offering for Lady Furina—without permission."
"As a result, the core of Fontaine's political system was thrown into temporary paralysis."
"And she was arrested again!"
"Legendary hero by day, repeat offender by night."
"Truly worthy of the title—Grandmaster Ye~"
He displayed various in-game clips, and highlighted the iconic Fontaine prison mugshot of Lumine and Paimon.
The chat erupted.
[Transcendent Chat Group]
[Klee:Wow! Traveler big sister is amazing!]
[Yae Miko:Oh my~ she stole someone from Ei's execution grounds? Truly worthy of her fame~]
[Kujou Sara:Unforgivable! Such disrespect toward the Shogun!]
[Nilou:As expected of the First Sage!]
[Nahida:Traveler… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean for you to end up in jail…]
[Furina:WHAT!? YOU ATE THE DESSERT SOMEONE MADE FOR ME!?]
[Clorinde:Considering Lady Furina's devotion to sweets… this is basically an assassination attempt.]
[Neuvillette:Is this truly a misunderstanding?]
[Furina:UNFORGIVABLE! I WILL PERSONALLY TRY YOU!]
[Arlecchino:If Lady Furina likes, I can prepare more cakes.]
[Navia:Good idea. That way there won't be anything left to steal.]
[Barbara:This is it… This is peak "Executor" behavior…]
[Venti:Ehe~ Wanted in five nations in a row! True courage!]
[Zhongli:From a rational standpoint… yes. Most individuals cannot accomplish this.]
[Ei:Truly an anomaly.]
[Yanfei:If you ever need legal defense… I'm available.]
[Hu Tao:Why hire a lawyer? Just book a long-term package at our Funeral Parlor instead!]
[Traveler Lumine:...]
[Paimon:...]
Outside Mondstadt
Lumine and Paimon were stunned.
A moment ago, she was a world-saving heroine…
Now she was a multi-national criminal!?
"This is all misunderstandings!"
"Amber, NONE of this is true!"
Lumine waved her hands desperately.
"If this gets written down, I'll never clear my name!"
"Yeah!"
"And besides, this is all Lumine's doing—nothing to do with me!"
"I could never assassinate the Geo Archon or interrupt the Shogun's execution!"
Paimon nodded vigorously.
"What?"
Lumine glared.
Oh, great.
Taking credit for the good parts, dumping the crimes on her?
She grabbed Paimon's cheeks and rubbed aggressively.
"You definitely ate that cake in Fontaine!"
"I didn't—!"
Paimon paused.
…Actually, given her own eating habits…
She might've really done it.
Her confidence deflated instantly.
Amber watched the two bickering and burst out laughing.
She obviously didn't take any of this seriously—Arthur did warn it was comedic exaggeration.
Mondstadt — Abyss Base
Lumine cackled as he watched the projection.
"Ha! Lumine, look at you…"
As an older brother, seeing his sister's embarrassing moments filled him with unspeakable joy.
These were priceless blackmail materials.
Perfect ammunition for future sibling arguments.
But then—
He froze.
"Lumine went through all this…"
"And I never helped her…"
He shivered.
If she learned he just watched from the shadows all this time…
That would hurt.
A lot.
Nope.
Not now.
Absolutely not the time to reunite.
He had to delay it as long as humanly possible.
The others in the chat
Most people just laughed it off.
After all, everything was stated to be "exaggerated jokes."
…Except Furina.
Because her cake really was eaten.
But then—
the projection delivered another bombshell.
Earth — Arthur
"And now—Unofficial Point Three…"
"Disrespecting the Gods."
[Transcendent Chat Group]
[Barbara:Wait—does this mean she tried to steal the Holy Lyre again!?]
[Xiao:Disrespect toward gods must be punished.]
[Kujou Sara:If you come to Inazuma, I will personally discipline you.]
[Nilou:Surely she didn't disrespect the Little Lord… right?]
[Furina:Aha! As expected! EXPOSE YOUR CRIMES!]
[Yanfei:At this point… no legal system can save her.]
Lumine and Paimon both stiffened.
"Not again…"
"Please don't let this be something worse…"
Arthur finally clarified:
"In Mondstadt, she mocked the Anemo Archon and gave him countless nicknames."
"In Liyue, she freeloaded on the Geo Archon's meals."
"In Inazuma, she beat up the purple shut-in inside the Plane of Euthymia."
"In Sumeru, she… went to the bathroom with the Dendro Archon."
"And in Fontaine…"
He paused, then spoke slowly.
"…she teamed up with Neuvillette, Navia, Clorinde, and other Fontaine citizens—
to put the Hydro Archon Furina on trial."
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