Me, Emilia, Puck, and Reinhard "Physics Is Optional" van Astrea, marching confidently down a street I was 85% sure Subaru once ran through screaming.
The remaining 15%?
Pure, unfiltered improv energy.
The kind of confidence you use when your teacher calls on you and you DID NOT do the reading but your mouth is already saying things.
The Prophecy Fraud Walk of Shame
Reinhard walked beside me, posture perfect, stride effortless, smile gentle like a human golden retriever who could punch God.
Emilia followed, worried.
Puck drifted above her shoulder, already preparing the eulogy.
I kept scanning the streets like a paranoid washing machine.
Okay. Think. Subaru route. Subaru route.
He got robbed... maybe → chased Felt → into back alleys → Flea Market District → Rom's loot cave… probably.
…Probably.
Probably isn't comforting when Elsa Granhiert is the penalty for failure.
Reinhard tilted his head. "You seem nervous, Prophet."
"Nervous? Me?" I said, trembling. "Noooo. I'm just vibrating at a higher frequency of genius."
Puck whispered, "This is the energy of someone who lost his compass."
Correct.
A Not-So-Prophetic Revelation
Then, without warning—
I stopped walking.
Not dramatic.
Not heroic.
Just… froze mid-step as a thought slammed into me like a truck-kun with perfect timing.
Emilia bumped into my back.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah—just had a flashback."
Puck blinked. "A prophecy flashback?"
"No. A Subaru flashback."
The memory hit me:
Subaru figured out he had Return by Death because he actually died.
Stubbing your toe? Paper-cut? Emotional damage?
None of that triggers it.
Which means…
"Wait. Holy crap."
My eyes widened.
Everyone stopped.
Reinhard glanced at me, concerned. "Did something important come to you?"
"Yeah," I whispered. "My insurance policy. My safety net. My last resort."
Emilia leaned in. "What about it?"
"It's gone."
A beat of silence.
Puck squinted. "Gone as in…?"
"As in—it never existed. As in—I actually don't have any checkpoints."
Reinhard frowned thoughtfully. "Is that… worrying?"
"Reinhard," I said with the gravity of a man who just saw his warranty expire. "This means if I mess up… I stay messed up."
Emilia's eyes softened sympathetically.
Puck nodded. "So you're just a normal guy?"
"Worse," I groaned. "I'm a normal guy pretending to be a prophet in a death-flag-infested Isekai world while actively running toward an assassin."
Emilia winced.
Reinhard tried to hide a smile.
Puck openly judged me.
Existential Crisis Speedrun% PB
I held my head.
"Dude. Subaru had trauma DLC. He earned his plot progression. He triggered events by dying at key moments."
Reinhard cleared his throat gently. "You seem to be… panicking."
"No no, this is fine," I lied. "I just realized I skipped directly to Hard Mode. Like a clown."
Emilia pat my back.
"I believe in you," she said sweetly.
I nearly cried.
Puck floated close. "I don't, but I admire your commitment to the bit."
Fair.
Reinhard placed a hand on my shoulder, warm and reassuring.
"You do not need special abilities. If you have knowledge that can help us save lives, I'll be there to assist. I promise."
My soul ascended slightly.
"Dude… you're like if Jesus had a gym membership."
Reinhard blinked. "I'm… not sure what that means."
Back On the Hunt (With Anxiety DLC Equipped)
With my mortality confirmed as 100% permanent, we kept walking.
Okay.
Okay.
Focus.
If I get lost, we die.
If I run into Elsa early, we REALLY die.
If I chicken out, Emilia gets hurt and the story derails.
So the correct move?
Lie confidently.
I pointed down an alley.
"There. She definitely went that way."
Reinhard nodded. "Understood."
Emilia looked unsure. "If you say so…"
Puck whispered, "He definitely does not say so."
We turned—
And by the grace of anime gods—
A small yellow blur zipped past the end of the alley.
Felt.
Actual Felt.
The little gremlin herself.
She glanced back, saw us, stuck out her tongue, and kept running.
Emilia gasped.
Reinhard smiled like, target acquired.
Puck flipped.
I exhaled the breath of a fraudulent prophet who just avoided divine punishment.
"See?" I said. "Prophecy."
Puck: "Beginner's luck."
Into the Lion's Den
We chased Felt through twisting alleys, closer and closer to the hidden loot house.
My heart pounded.
Not from running.
From knowing exactly who was standing inside waiting for us.
The Bowel Hunter.
Elsa Granhiert.
Serial disassembler of internal organs.
And here I was, armed with nothing but foresight, anxiety, and a six-foot-tall demigod with a sword.
Reinhard slowed beside me.
"We're approaching a dangerous situation," he said calmly. "Stay behind me when we enter."
"Absolutely," I whispered. "I have no desire to tank anything."
Emilia jogged up, breathless but determined.
"We have to get my insignia back. And… help whoever's inside."
Her kindness. Subaru's downfall. My present crisis.
Puck eyed me. "You ready, prophet?"
"No," I said honestly.
"But going back means Elsa lives longer. So… yeah. Let's do this."
Reinhard stepped forward, placing a hand on the old wooden door of Rom's loot house.
His aura sharpened.
My spine tingled.
Emilia swallowed nervously.
Puck prepared his magic.
And I?
I whispered to myself, "Please don't let her gut anyone before he swings."
Reinhard opened the door.
Inside:
A thief.
A shopkeeper.
A silver insignia.
A killer waiting in the shadows.
Arc 1's most brutal boss fight—
And we walked in without Return by Death.
Time to see if knowledge and plot armor-by-proximity was enough to survive.