On the way to the Magic Royal Palace.
A boy and girls leading pigs. It's truly a damn mess.
"Mash, did you really want to carry me that much?"
"Oink!"
The voice is Mash's, which makes it even weirder. Even though I've become younger now, having her carry me and run like this...
"Oink oink..."
"What's up, Gogh?"
Circe, who turned even the foreigner into a pig, might be the strongest in the world.
"Gogh said she wants to ride too."
"That's not easy. Let Abigail ride."
"Okay~"
At least the real kids are still normal, thank goodness.
How much further to the Magic Royal Palace...
"Dumpty, I have a bad feeling about this..."
"I feel the same. Is it a strategist's intuition? I think we should take a detour for now."
"Hmm, really?"
Pig Circe and Reines feel uneasy. I was about to take a detour based on their words... but something sent a shiver down my spine.
"This is bad, they've come after all..."
"What is it, Circe...?"
"They've come... the three generals of this Magic Royal Palace have come!"
"Three generals? What's that about?"
"If we meet them directly, it'll be really dangerous. Probably Dumpty's chastity, I mean."
"What does that mean..."
Thud... thud...
Something, something inside me is telling me to run away...
"N-no way... who on earth called them...!"
"Who else? The one you asked to be queen because it seemed fun, Dumpty."
"Sanson..."
Impossible...!
They are approaching. They are the ones I hesitated to summon as much as possible...
The hopeless trio has come... the ones who swam through lava out of obsession have come...!!! That lava that even a perfect being would die from without armor!
"Master... you were here? This Kiyo waited so anxiously for you, why didn't you look for me..."
"Ah, Master..."
"You were here? Hehe, trying to escape from this mother..."
"Oh no... to think I'd fall into such a trap."
"Master, step back."
"No, Ashtoreth. Step aside. I'll handle this."
"That's reckless, Dumpty!"
"It's okay, Illya. Jack, Protea, all of you step back. They're not opponents for you to face."
To think the greatest trial of my life would come so soon. Sakura holds my hand and shakes her head. I don't know what it is, but she has a good sense.
"It's okay. It'll be over soon. After all, it's me, right?"
"... Okay."
I get off from the pig Mash and walk towards the three people. Come on, I'm a madman, a madman, I'm the greatest madman in Chaldea...
I have three people in front of me who look very displeased and angry. Right...
Stop thinking, Dumpty. They're yanderes, yanderes who would even kill the male lead! Stop it, pull out your brain right now!
"Master. How could you abandon me after our bond reached level 10?"
"..."
"... Master, say something──!"
Smooch...!!!
"!?"
""He, he did it!""
"[Answering with a kiss...!]"
"[Now that's a real man~ unlike Romani, right?]"
Instead of words, I kiss. How many mandatory defense battles do you think I've had? I've mastered the ability to make even goddesses and Beasts go crazy.
As our lips part, Kiyohime has an ecstatic expression.
"I love you, Kiyohime. Even after this, do you doubt my feelings?"
".... No."
"Then... you'll come with me?"
"... Yes♡"
Kiyohime defeated.
"Raikou..."
"... I-I'm not going to forgive you just because of that..."
"I need you. I can't do without you."
"But...."
"Raikou."
"Yes...?"
"Will you stay with me forever? Even after death, will you stay with me? Raikou. I can't do without you. I need your love, as fatal as sweet poison."
"Hauuu... Yes, I'll follow you forever...♡"
"[Dumpty, is there a school that teaches such things?]"
"[I think it's a skill developed through various experiences, on the contrary?]"
Thus, the two heroines were captured in an instant. What remains is...
"Really, both of you are still childish. Forgiving so easily. As a mother, it's painful, but I think discipline is necessary."
"Hmm."
"We must educate Master's promiscuous chastity and guide him to the right path. Restrictions are definitely needed. And embracing such a child and giving love is a parent's role. The duty is to give love more than receive it──"
"Mom."
Hug...
"I don't like such boring stories..."
"... B-but wrong things must be corrected..."
"Even when your son begs like this?"
"E-even if you look at me with those sparkling eyes, restrictions..."
"... Then, Raikou. Shall I make you a real mom?"
".... What?"
I whisper into Raikou's ear.
"Want to call me master?"
"..........."
Poof!
Raikou's face turns red, smoke explodes from her head, and she faints on the spot.
Easy peasy.
"... Brother, you seem familiar with this somewhere."
"I did simulations in advance for times like this. Sakura, don't become a worthless adult like me."
"... But I'm attracted to such an adult."
"Hey, you shouldn't be attracted to such a trashy bad man! He's just a parasite who lives off women despite being incompetent!"
"[How can he demean himself so much...]"
"[On the contrary, it makes me realize again that his self-esteem is low. Later, give me some counseling, Romani, as a senior.]"
"[Ugh...]"
I'm aware that I'm trash. But by being aware of it, I'm at least 1% better trash!
Thus, the Lava Swimming Club was added.
"But to have another woman added like this... A harem is fine. I understand that for a hero like Master, such things happen. But still, the legal wife should be me──"
Smooch.
"Heeeuuun...♡"
To calm Kiyohime down, I kissed her as skin contact and groped her butt. She's so lewd that this much is necessary. I did 14,000,605 simulations for Kiyohime! On the contrary, Kiyohime is weak to active skin contact, so she must be controlled like this.
"... You're a pro, brother."
Sakura's eyes gradually darken... but, well, it should be fine.
"Um, Master... recently, pirates invaded this royal palace."
"Pirates?"
Raikou's report was a bit surprising. Blackbeard's pirate crew? How did they get here? Then did the Argonauts or such guys come too?
"So what happened to them?"
"Well..."
Then, a voice came from somewhere.
"If you ask what happened, it's only natural to answer!"
"This voice...!"
"... Huh?"
"For love and hope, and to protect the peace of pirates, I will not stop fighting! That is the romance of pirates! I will protect my comrades with my own hands!"
"..................."
Should I commit suicide?