Moans from the pixelated characters echoed through Lex's dimly lit bedroom, bouncing off the walls with an embarrassing clarity that would have sent any normal human scrambling for the volume slider.
Lex, on the other hand, didn't even flinch. He sat slouched in his chair, eyes half-dead yet unreasonably focused on the screen, watching the shitty animated sprites as if he were conducting a serious academic study.
His posture screamed "peak shut-in," but at almost twenty years old, he had perfected the art of looking both exhausted and unimpressed at the same time.
"Haa… fuck. I used all my pocket money and bought this crap," he muttered,
"Where's the kiss? Where's the sex scene? Man, what kind of scam is this? I should've bought literally any other game."
The characters on-screen continued their awkward, emotionless movements, prompting Lex's expression to slowly dissolve into pure disappointment.
He leaned back and sighed deeply. With his prosthetic leg resting against the side of the chair. The accident years ago had taken away more than his leg; it had pulled him out of school, away from normal life, and shoved him into a reclusive lifestyle he had never asked for.
Over time, this room had become his world, and eroge games had become his… cultural research.
atleast that's what he told himself.
"I've played so many of these games and this one wants to ruin my streak. Who writes this stuff?" he grumbled.
"Maybe I should've just watched adult videos… haha, listen to me talking like I'm some cool guy with a packed schedule."
He reached for his mouse.
"Alright, let's go to the site—"
The screen flickered.
Once.
Twice.
Then violently glitched, distorting into static as if reality itself had been corrupted.
Lex's eyes widened.
"What—HEY—NO—NO—NO—DON'T DO THIS I JUST GOT A NEW POWER CABLE—"
His cry died as the lights dimmed.
"Wait—WAIT—WHAT THE FUCK—haha—no way—no way it's my time to go," he stuttered, sounding like someone being executed via jumpscare.
"I haven't even unlocked the premium tags tonight!"
The fog thickened.
A silhouette formed.
Majestic. Divine. Radiant.
Lex swallowed hard, almost bracing himself for a beautiful goddess.
is a MILF comingg??
Then the fog cleared…
…revealing a fatty who looked like he'd eaten the actual god and stolen the halo as proof.
Lex stared.
The god stared back.
"…Bro,really ?" Lex whispered.
The round deity adjusted his cheap-looking golden halo. "Hoho, child. I am Dongo, the God of Hentai."
Lex inhaled sharply ,then burst into laughter so violently he nearly choked.
"BWHAHA—YOU?! A god?! Bro, stop. This is the funniest hallucination I've ever had. God of hentai—holy shit—if you go outside looking like that you'll get arrested."
Dongo's cheeks puffed indignantly. "I came because you cursed the eroge you were playing. Planning to betray the 2D world and shift to 3D filth."
"You should know WHY I was planning that! The protagonist was so dense he didn't even react when girls sat on his lap. Two hours in and not even a kiss! Do you know how painful that is?!"
"You think the protagonist exists only to sleep with girls?" Dongo asked.
"Yes!" Lex shouted. "It's an eroge! That is the entire reason!"
Dongo wagged a pudgy finger. "Wrong. There is a plot."
"There is always a plot," Lex agreed darkly.
"And it's always just an excuse."
Dongo hummed. "Perhaps they couldn't finish the story because there were too many bosses."
"Shit, that… might actually be true."
But then he frowned. "Hold on. You're still too fake-looking to be a god. You sure you're not some cosmic scammer?"
Dongo's eyebrow twitched. "Fine. If you believe you'd make a better protagonist, I shall send you to an eroge world."
"Hoho. Do it," Lex said immediately,
The god smirked as if he had been waiting for that exact answer.
"Then sell me your soul."
"Done."
And before Lex fully processed what he'd agreed to—
A blinding light engulfed him.
He didn't even get to scream.
Lex awoke lying on soft grass, the warmth of sunlight spreading across his skin like a gentle welcome. The scent of fresh earth filled his nose, accompanied by the chirping of birds in a forest far cleaner and calmer than any city. He blinked up at the canopy of leaves, confused, groggy, and… his extremely exposed manhood.
His eyes drifted downward.
His entire lower body was naked, little johny proudly catching the morning breeze.
"Uh… shit," he muttered weakly. "Where are my clothes?"
Reality formed piece by piece in his head. The trees. The sunlight. The soft ground beneath him. The fact that the breeze was touching places it absolutely shouldn't be touching.
"That fatass god scammed me!"
He jumped to his feet, one hand covering his shivering member, the other shielding his face from nonexistent spectators.
But then something else caught his eye.
His legs.
Smooth. Strong. Symmetrical.
Not metal.
Not broken.
Both were real.Both were his.Except… they weren't.
"Ayo ,Wait… these aren't my legs!"
He stumbled to a nearby pond, bent over, and stared.
A handsome face stared back.
Sharp jaw, bright eyes, perfect skin—like a top-tier idol.
Lex touched his cheek in awe.
"Hoho… a handsome body and an eroge world? I'm invincible now."
A chiming noise echoed inside his head.
[System Booting…]
[Initializing Scumbag Host.]
[Warning: No males detected in this world for the last 1000 years.]
"…Excuse me?"
Another beep.
[You are currently the only male alive.]
No no no, what is this thing saying,
"Oh fuck. This isn't an eroge, this is a repopulation event! I didn't sign up for world husband duty!"
A new message appeared:
[Message from Hentai God:
Oops, kid. Sorry. Wanted to send you to the eroge world, but server was full.
Anyway, good news—women get pregnant on their own here. No protection needed!]
Lex blinked twice.
Then sighed.
"…Why am I sighing? It's not like I wanted to do it… wait. Maybe I did."
Before he could reflect on his questionable morals, the sharp sound of metal clashing echoed. Lex stiffened, his instincts kicking in—not survival instincts,
but the instinct to not be seen naked by strangers in a fantasy world where males hadn't existed for a millennium.
He pressed a hand over himself as if that would help and ran toward the sound.
He reached, crouched behind a large rock, peeking cautiously.
A girl wielded a massive sword . Her long black hair streaked behind her, her stance balanced and deadly as she slashed through a monster with her blade.
Lex blinked.
He knew that face.
Raven.
One of the heroines.
"Oh shit… that's Raven, damn she's thic---noo" he whispered. "Okay—she definitely can't see me like this."
He hid lower behind the rock.
[Quest Generated: Approach the girl while naked.
Reward: Survival.]
Lex's jaw dropped.
"WHAT PART OF THIS INCREASES MY SURVIVAL RATE?!"
His body suddenly moved forward as if dragged by invisible strings.
"NO—NO—STOP—BAD SYSTEM—LET GO OF ME—although i have a big one but-"
He tumbled out from behind the rock.
Raven's sword stopped mid-swing.
Her eyes widened as she took in the very naked, stiffened, very confused man in front of her for the first time in her life.
"You… what kind of race are you?" she whispered.
Lex coughed awkwardly.
"Well… seeing my naked body, you should probably be worried."
Great. Amazing. Perfect opening line, Lex.
He swallowed hard.
How the hell do I explain these unknown things on my body to her?
Is this really how my isekai starts?
Raven continued staring.
fuckkk, why is she staring , it's making me more hard..
Confusion, Shock and hint of awe.
And a blush creeping up her neck.
Lex managed a nervous smile.
Ugh...crap..
This was going to be… something.