There was darkness again, though it was less tense somehow. I knew immediately that it was a dream. For some reason, I could feel that I wasn't the tiny, four-pawed furball I'd fallen asleep as.
I had hands again—thin, pale hands playing on a computer.
"...Oh." My own voice came out younger when I was eighteen. "This... is my room?" There was the glow of my old computer monitor lighting up the cramped bedroom I used to call my fortress.
There were posters of anime characters, faded and peeling at the corners, staring down at me.
There were stacks of instant noodle cups standing like trophies on the desk beside my keyboard, with a bunch of soda cans and chips.
The game on the screen—some half-finished RPG I'd spent hundreds of hours on—flashed with the words: GAME OVER!
I stared at it, completely numb. The words didn't hurt anymore; I was used to seeing them.
"Keiko!"
There was a deep voice that boomed like thunder, causing my shoulders to stiffen almost immediately.
I didn't even have to turn my head to know who it was. There was a shadow in the doorway, and it was none other than my father; tall and wearing the same worn work-shirt I remembered.
He was frowning, evidently tired, but his eyes burned fiercely at me.
"Are you still wasting your time in here?" He said in disappointment. "Do you even know what day it is? Your mother's worried sick about you, and you're just rotting your life away behind that thing!"
I winced at his words, shrinking into my chair.
"It's not like... I..." My words came out small as I stuttered. I hated how small my voice sounded, even now in a dream.
"Not like what?!" He asked angrily. "Do you plan to sit here forever, huh? Hiding in your games while everyone else moves on? You're eighteen, Keiko. You need to do something. Get a job, study, anything!"
I squeezed my hands into fists. I wanted to yell back, to say he didn't understand, to say the world outside terrified me, but I couldn't.
All I could do was keep staring at the screen in front of me.
He let out a long and deep sigh; it was the kind of sigh that always made me feel like a failure.
When he finally spoke again, his voice was much deeper as he tried to reason with me.
"Do you even think about your future? About... what's going to happen to you, Keiko? You have one more year before you graduate from school, but your grades are in the dumpster!"
I didn't answer, nor did I look at him. If I did, I knew I'd cry. The silence stretched on, until finally, I heard him mutter something under his breath and step back from the doorway.
"What a disappointment..."
He left as the sound of his footsteps echoed down the hall. I slumped forward, banging my forehead against the edge of the desk.
This was a daily occurrence between me and my father, Kaito Sasaki. He worked as a garbage man since he dropped out of school, and my mother, Haru Sasaki, ran off with some other guy who was rich and had more money.
Ever since then, I've always stayed cooped up inside my house, depressed, and blaming myself for causing her to leave; when I was born, I caused more issues, forcing my parents to spend more money in order to take care of me.
Hell, I was supposed to be aborted, but even that cost too much money, so they were practically forced to raise me.
Soon, I made a habit out of staying inside all day; in other words, my depression made me a NEET. I used to be a playful, outgoing kid who loved to make friends and talk to everyone, but now I am a total introvert.
I dragged my hands down my face as my palms felt clammy against my cheeks. Even in this dream, my chest felt pretty darn heavy, like a weighted blanket pressing down on my ribs.
"I hate this dream..." I said to myself, ashamed. "What happened to me?"
The girl I used to be—bright, chatty, always running outside to play tag with the neighborhood kids—felt like a stranger now.
I let my eyes drift toward the closet in the corner with the door barely hanging on its hinge. My old schoolbag sat there, covered in dust. I hadn't touched it in days... maybe weeks.
All I ever did anymore was game, watch anime, read manga, sleep, and eat instant noodles. I didn't even remember what my own voice sounded like when I was happy.
All of a sudden, the door creaked open again.
"Keiko..."
My father's voice was softer this time, but when I turned, the doorway was empty.
The house beyond it was strangely quiet.
"Dad...?" I called out weakly, but there was no response.
A blue glow suddenly emanated from the computer screen. I turned back and widened my eyes, startled to see the screen no longer showed my RPG. Instead, white words appeared on a dark void.
[Do you regret it?]
"...W-What?" The words slowly faded away before new words appeared.
[Would you do it differently if you could?]
I gripped the edge of the desk as I lowered my head.
"I-I don't know..." I whispered. "I wanted to... I always wanted to change. I just... didn't know how."
The words vanished before new ones appeared again.
[You still can.]
I pushed back in my chair, feeling my heart beating at a rapid pace.
"W-What is this? What's happening?"
The glow from the monitor grew brighter and brighter until it became blinding. I shielded my eyes with my arm, feeling my heart hammering in my ears.
Through the bright light, I heard a sound—like a bell chiming somewhere far away, but then there was a voice.
"Keiko..."
It wasn't my father's this time; this one sounded distant as it made something deep inside my chest ache, as if I knew this person, or entity.
[You must wake up, and save this world, only you can do it.]
My eyes shot wide open as I gasped, filling my lungs with air. I could feel my ears twitch, realizing my dream, room, and the monitor was gone.
Instead, I was lying on the makeshift nest now. My vision was low to the ground, framed by a pair of whiskers that wiggled as I caught my breath. When I tried to sit up, I could see my four paws move beneath me.
I was... back in this tiny, furry body once more.
"Ugh..." I muttered—or tried to. What came out was a pitiful little mrrrp. "Right, I'm still a cat..." I just sat there, listening to the gentle breeze outside, feeling my small heart still racing from the dream.
That voice echoed in my head.
"[You must wake up, and save this world, only you can do it.]"
"Save the world..." I said under my breath before flattening my ears. "You've definitely got the wrong girl—er, cat. I'm not even sure I can save myself, whoever that was."
I glanced down at my paws; they were dainty and tipped with tiny claws that didn't look particularly heroic, so I lashed my tail in frustration.
The dream I had felt too vivid to dismiss. It was almost like something had reached through my mind and dragged me back here on purpose.
I took a deep breath, or as deep as a cat could, and tried to focus. My nose twitched as I caught the scent on the breeze; there was the smell of the swamp outside the nest, and something sweet... berries maybe?
I don't know what it was, but it did make my stomach growl.
[I'm too hungry to be worrying about that weird dream right now...] I pushed myself onto all fours, still a little shaky, but padded forward nonetheless.
The mother cat wasn't here, she must've gone out scavenging for food or something.
Meanwhile, my senses felt sharper than they had as a human; sounds were clearer, smells were stronger, and my vision was better. It was almost overwhelming.
As I crept toward the sound of running water, my thoughts kept circling back to the dream.
It asked me if I would do things differently if I could. What the hell did that mean? Would I do my life differently, or was it referring to something else? I don't know, but for some reason, it felt like I had heard that voice before.
Maybe I'm tripping balls. A part of me wanted to scoff at it and say it's nothing more than a dream, but another, smaller part, felt connected to the voice.
I finally reached a small spot in the swamp; I couldn't really see anything since the water was so murky. I leaned over cautiously, peering at my reflection.
A small black cat stared back at me. My fur looked soft and a little messy, and my eyes were wide and yellow.
[Man... at least I look cute...]